Title: Yuri Likes Girls (And Other Lies)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyou Kara Maou. I don't claim to own it.

Notes: This isn't my best writing (I haven't got a beta), but it's fluffy Yuuram, and if there's anything this world needs, it's more fluffy Yuuram. I'm working under the assumption Wolfram is 82 and Conrad is around 120. I hope that's right, but I don't remember where I found the age discussion.

Shibuya Yuri (Harajuku furi) was not sure of much in life. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do as an adult, or even which world he wanted to live in. He didn't even know what he wanted for breakfast in the mornings. But if there was one thing he could say with absolute certainty, it was that he liked girls. They were polite, smelled nice, and were kind of squishy around the edges. Yes, Yuri was definitely a ladies man.

Recent events in his life, however, had caused others to challenge this. Due to his male fiancé and the strange taste in undergarments the country he'd suddenly come to rule had, he knew he would question the sexuality of someone in his position. But not his own, because, obviously, he liked girls. A lot. And not boys. At all.

Wolfram, however did not understand that. Wolfram liked boys. And not just any boys. No, Wolfram liked Yuri. Yuri did not appreciate this. He did not enjoy having someone sneak into his bed every night, constantly accuse him of cheating, and snuggling up to him in bed. The fact that he could never get to sleep right at home (especially on colder nights) had nothing to do with that. Obviously, his bed at home was smaller, less comfortable, and his house was colder. Obviously. It had nothing to do with Wolfram. Nothing to do with his slim shoulders, sheer, pink nightgown, or even his silky smooth legs. He guessed Wolfram must shave them, but he didn't know. Only gay people thought about things like that. Which meant that he didn't, because he liked girls. He didn't like boys, even when they were thin and pale and smelled kind of nice, like a girl.

There was nothing gay about the way that sick feeling in his chest went away when he first saw Wolfram when he returned in a fountain, or bath, or whatever water source it was this time. There was certainly nothing gay about the way he couldn't get back to sleep when Wolfram woke up before him. And there was definitely nothing gay about the way he dropped things sometimes so he could watch Wolfram bend over and pick them up. It wasn't even a question. Yuri liked girls, and that was that.

And so the months went by. Yuri liked girls, Wolfram liked Yuri, and Gwendel liked cute things. Life went on as usual until one day, when something peculiar happened. Yuri was going about his duties, signing papers. He had just woken up from a strange (yet pleasant) dream about a sexy blond in pink. He'd had a lot of dreams about her. He didn't recognize her face, but she seemed very familiar. If only he could…

Someone knocked on his door.

"Come in!" the young king called. Conrad entered the room, a friendly smile on his face. Yuri smiled. Then Gwendel came in, followed by what seemed like half of the kingdom.

Yuri's smile faded.

"Hi everyone! Wha- what's going on?" Yuri asked nervously.

"Your Majesty, we've come to a conclusion." Conrad began.

"We can't let you go on living like this!" Celi exclaimed with a bright smile.

"Oh!" Gunter cried, pulling a tissue from some hidden pocket in his robes. "His Majesty is not ready!"

"You're gay," Wolfram announced solemnly. He had sat himself on the corner on Yuri's desk, legs crossed casually, as though this was something he did everyday.

"Is that what this is all about?" Yuri said, chuckling slightly. "No I'm not. You don't have anything to worry about Wolfram."

"He speaks the truth, Your Majesty," Conrad said, with a very serious face.

"If I liked boys, would I have kissed a girl?" Yuri said defiantly.

"Greta does not count," Wolfram said idly, flipping through the various papers on Yuri's desk. "And neither does your mother."

"I'm not like that," Yuri insisted. "Just because I've never done anything with a girls doesn't mean I wouldn't like it."

"Plenty of boys your age are confused at your age. In fact, I think it has something to do with your human side," Jozak said. Conrad glared at him pointedly.

"I'm not confused! I've never even thought about boys that way!" Yuri said firmly. And he hadn't. And he certainly wasn't watching Wolfram brush his hair from his eyes with that careless grace only Wolfram seemed to posses.

"Perhaps I should speak with His Majesty along for a few moments," Conrad suggested. Wolfram immediately snapped to attention. He put Yuri's papers back on his desk, and jumped back to the floor.

"Yuri is my fiancé," Wolfram snapped. "If anyone gets to talk to him alone, it's me."

"Very well," Conrad said politely, knowing his brother well enough not to argue with him. Conrad left the room. Soon enough, everyone else left. Yuri was left alone with Wolfram.

"I don't understand you. I know you don't have a problem with our engagement. I can tell when you're watching me. If you weren't such a wimp, you'd just get over it and we'd be married already," Wolfram said. There was none of his usual anger in his voice. He just sounded… tired. Yuri knew this was probably hard on Wolfram.

"I'm sorry Wolfram, but I'm really not into that," Yuri said, hoping he sounded certain. Yuri had really expected Wolfram to hit him, or at least be angry. He braced himself for yelling. It never came. Instead, Wolfram had suddenly gotten across his desk, although he had no idea how, and was proceeding to climb onto Yuri's lap, straddling him.

"You aren't into what? This?" Wolfram whispered directly into Yuri's ear.

'Remember, you need to be firm with him. Tell them this isn't what you want,' Yuri thought. And he was firm, but definitely not in the way he had intended to be.

"No," Yuri insisted. Wolfram was not stupid, and would definitely know what was happening. If Yuri was completely honest, he would admit that it felt really nice. He was starting to feel a little light headed. It was certainly not as bad as he'd thought, although he was a little frightened at the sudden jump Wolfram had taken. He certainly didn't like the hurt look on Wolfram's face.

And suddenly Wolfram turned himself to look at Yuri's desk and Yuri found he was no longer being straddled. Wolfram picked up a paper.

"Do you even know what you're signing?" Wolfram asked softly.

"I can't read all of them!" Yuri said defensively.

"This one gives Anissina more money for her inventions." Wolfram stated. Yuri looked over his shoulder.

"Where does it say that?" Yuri asked, resting his chin on Wolfram's shoulder. Wolfram pointed, and Yuri hid the document in his desk, under his pens.

"Someone will find out eventually," Wolfram said, rolling his eyes and adding for good measure. "Wimp."

Yuri opened his mouth to protest before closing it again. Wolfram was just teasing him, and really didn't mean it as an insult. After all, if he wasn't calling him a wimp, would it really be Wolfram? It wasn't an insult anymore so much as a pet name. Maybe he could get used to this, Yuri decided.

Wolfram left soon after; he had to train. Yuri couldn't concentrate on his work very much. Perhaps it was just his body? Maybe his heart wasn't really in it. More than anything he wanted a regular relationship with a nice girl.

'And what's so wrong with Wolfram? He's pretty like a girl and he cares for you more than any girl ever has. You've had thoughts that were more than friendly about him before,' a voice in Yuri's head said.

But it was icky. Wolfram was a boy, with boy parts. When they got married Wolfram would want… that. Yuri didn't think he could do that with a boy. He didn't even know how it worked.

"Your Majesty?" A voice came from the door. Conrad. If anyone would help him, Conrad would.

"Come in!" Yuri called back. Conrad entered and sat at a chair in front of Yuri's desk. They both looked at each other for a few moments. "Conrad?"

"I thought you might need someone to talk to," Conrad stated simply. "I know you're probably confused right now."

"I'm not- not…gay, am I?" Yuri said meekly.

"You can call yourself whatever you'd like. You know who you are better than I would."

"But I don't know either! I mean, I want to like girls. I like Wolfram- I mean, he's my friend. I don't think of him as more… most of the time," he added after a while. "I don't want to think of him like that."

"Why not? You wanted to get married, have children, and have a normal life. You can marry Wolfram, and you already have a child. It's not looked down upon here as it is in your world. Being a king isn't the most 'normal' of occupations, but you seem to have grown to enjoy it."

"Everyone keeps telling me it's okay here, but I don't know a single couple like that!" Yuri cried out. It had been bothering him since he'd first slapped Wolfram. Maybe Conrad would be straight with him. There was a long pause.

"Your Majesty… I didn't know…" Conrad began with a slight stutter.

"See, you don't know anyone either!" Yuri said triumphantly.

"I thought you knew… Josak and…" Conrad began, but seemed unable to finish.

"Josak! Well, I guess that makes sense. He likes dressing like a woman. But who would he be with? The only person he really spends that much time with is…" Yuri's eyes went wide. "You? No! But- you're Conrad! You're so…normal. How long-"

"Forty-three years," Conrad said smoothly. "I thought everyone knew."

"How could I know? You don't act like… like," Yuri began, stammering.

"It's not about how you act. It's about your heart."

"And your heart…" Yuri paused. "Look, you're still- I mean, I still, "Yuri started, but he didn't have words. There was no way he could ever hate Conrad, no matter what. There would always be a place in heart for Conrad, no matter what or who he did.

"I understand," Conrad said, a soft smile gracing his features. "And it wasn't easy for me either. That's why I came to talk to you. I wanted to be a soldier and fight. I didn't want to have to worry about love or anything else. He wouldn't take that for an answer, of course. He spent seven years waiting for me. Finally he gave up. He even tried to switch to a different unit. Then I chased him."

"What changed you mind?" Yuri asked. Conrad didn't usually talk very much about himself. It was sort of nice for a change.

"Wolfram, actually."

" What! But he would have been-" Yuri attempted to do the math on his fingers.

"About seven, in earth years. He said he was tired of watching me mope. If I remember correctly he told me to 'stop being such a stupid wimp' and kicked me in the shins. He hadn't yet found out about my humanity, so he still… treated me about the same. There isn't any noticeable difference between Wolfram's love and his hate."

"I know what you mean… If he really cares about me, why is he always yelling at me for just talking to other people?" Yuri complained.

"He's afraid of losing you." Conrad said simply.

"But he doesn't have me!" Yuri protested.

"And why is that?" Conrad questioned.

"He's a boy!" Yuri exclaimed.

"I'm well aware of that."

"But it's not the same- is it?" Yuri asked.

"If you really care about him it is."

"But isn't it different? Can it happen with a man?" Yuri asked, embarrassed but curious.

"It can be done. The mechanics are different, but as for how it feels…"

Yuri went bright red.

"I wouldn't know-"

Yuri breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to hear about Conrad doing anything of the sort. And if other men didn't do it, he wouldn't be expected to either, right?

"-how it feels with a woman. I've only ever been with Josak," Conrad finished.

Yuri turned red again.

"It's nothing I'm ashamed of. We've been together for years… although I'm surprised you didn't know it could be done. Don't they teach that in your schools?"

"No! Of course not! I mean, they tell us how it usually works, but not like that," Yuri cried. If he'd written a list of things he'd expected to do today… Well, discussing the bees and the bees (the bearbees and the bearbees?) with Conrad was definitely not the first thing on it.

"…Perhaps that's a discussion for another day. Your feelings towards my brother are a more important topic right now."

"Who said I have feelings towards him? I mean he's nice… sometimes. He's sort of cute- in a girly way. I miss him when I go home, but I miss everyone here. He makes me laugh, and he always makes me feel better when I'm sad... He also tries to beat me up on a regular basis. Anytime he thinks I'm flirting with someone. He should know I'd never flirt with other people," Yuri said with a slight grin.

"Why not?" Conrad asked.

"It makes him sad. He acts like he's mad, but I know he's really just upset, and I don't like that. I want him to be happy."

"You keep saying you want a girlfriend. What kind of girl are you looking for?"

"Hm… I guess I'd want us to be friends first, so we'd still be able to talk and have things in common. I'd want her to be brave and self-reliant, because there are a lot of things in this world I can't protect her from. I'd want her to care about me obviously, and help me out when I need it." Yuri said, thinking.

"You have a lot of work left; I should probably leave now. Just think about what we said." Conrad said. He went for the door.

"Wait!" Yuri called. He walked over to meet Conrad. "Thank you."

Conrad held out his hand to shake. Yuri wrapped his arms around Conrad's neck. Conrad hugged back, letting out a surprised laugh.

"Good luck, Your- Yuri," Conrad whispered.

Yuri thought about what Conrad said until he went to bed. He was sure Gwendel would be mad when he found out none of the papers got signed, but he couldn't help himself. It took him half an hour to realize the 'perfect girl' he'd described was pretty much Wolfram. He knew Wolfram meant a lot to him, but he wasn't sure he could get over the fact that Wolfram was male. He looked like a female, but he was one hundred percent male where it counted. Still, he couldn't forget their encounter in his office. He'd never been that excited in front of another person before. Sure, he'd never done anything with girls, so he didn't know if it could be better (Did it get better?), but he wasn't sure.

Could he ever find someone he had the same emotional connection to as Wolfram? It was becoming more and more obvious that his feelings for Wolfram ran deep, and there was no denying how Wolfram felt towards him. There was also plenty of physical attraction, which could definitely be a nice bonus.

And Conrad… Conrad was the most stable person Yuri had here. He was like a father, a brother, and a friend at the same time. If someone so normal, so important to Yuri could be gay, then maybe it wasn't so bad. Conrad wasn't strange. He didn't talk with a lisp, go around in short-shorts, or call him 'girlfriend'. Josak was definitely strange, definitely 'gay' enough that he should have noticed, but he was still relatively normal. Josak was a strong and noble warrior, even though he liked to wear high heels sometimes. If Conrad was with a man, it couldn't be bad. He was important to Yuri; he wouldn't be so willing to talk about it so freely if it was dirty.

His mind still reeling, Yuri went up to his bedroom. He was a little surprised when he saw Wolfram was already there. Was it really that late? He looked out the window. The moon was already high. Its rays shone down on Wolfram, illuminating his pale face and shoulders. He was facing the other way, so Yuri didn't know if he was still awake.

'It's now or never,' Yuri decided. He pulled back the covers on his side of the bed. Wolfram didn't appear to move. He changed into his pajamas quickly, making sure Wolfram wasn't awake and staring. Slowly climbing under the sheets, he kept his eyes on Wolfram. He took a deep breath, and then put his arm around Wolfram, sliding in close. Something like a sigh came from Wolfram. An arm placed itself on top of Yuri's, pulling Yuri's arm closer around Wolfram. Yuri thought he heard a mumbled 'wimp' and smiled.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

I'm slightly terrified of posting this. I must've read this thing a dozen times (Sorry for any typos!), trying to see if it's good enough. I really hope someone enjoys it, at least.