Why did Itachi kill his clan?
Ever wonder why Itachi killed his whole family?
Well, maybe those who hold grudges against their parents for the punishments they gave them might know why.
For example: Cinderella
After her father died she was left with her step family…..
Did all the chores…. Whatever….. Yadda, yadda, yadda……
( Must be too cheap tuh get themselves a real maid…. )
She had the freaky ability to talk to rodents.
Blah, blah, blah….. Lived happily ever after.
But I think the real story is…..
Cinderella got tired of being bossed around.
Mutated the mice….
Bribed an old lady to be her freaky godmother….
Blackmailed the prince and lived happily ever after….
A lot more believable, huh?
Let's go back to when Itachi was ten.
Itachi was watching Kill Bill vol.1………
Sasuke: What are you watching, nii-san?( Is that how you spell nii-san? Whatever, who cares? )
Itachi's Mom: What are you watching, Itachi!
Sasuke: I think it's anime… Ooooh blood!
Itachi's Mom: You are watching Kill Bill without tellin' me! Scoot over! You're grounded! Sasuke, get us some popcorn!(sits on couch)
Sasuke: But, mom I'm only five! I don't know how to make popcorn! I don't even know how to spell popcorn!
Itachi's Mom: P-O-P-C-O-R-N. Got it memorized! (Sounds like Axel, huh?) Now go get those stupid popcorn before I do to you what blondie did with Oishi here!
Sasuke: That's O…..
Itachi's Mom: GO YOU BRAT!
Sasuke: (runs off )WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Itachi: Noisy…….. (throws remote at T.V.)
Itachi's Mom: ACK! What da hell did you just do! That's it I disown you!
Sasuke: Now, mommy's copying the guy from Drunken Master……(carrying a bowl of burnt popcorn)
Itachi's Mom: AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! (charges towards Sasuke)
Sasuke: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs dropping welldone popcorn)
Itachi: Someday……Someday…….(crushes popcorn bowl)
Itachi's watching Kill Bill vol.2………..
Itachi's Dad: Hiya, son, whassup?
Itachi: Shut up……
Itachi's Dad: Oooooh! Kill Bill vol.2! Hey, this is the part where we find out that blondie's name is BEATRICE KIDDO!
Itachi: Great…….. You just gave away the whole reason of me watching this crap……..
Itachi's Dad: Don't mention it, kiddo! Heeeey…. Have you got a crush on Uma Thurman? Oooooooh……(pokes Itachi)
Itachi: If you want to die all you have to do is tell me……..
Itachi's Dad: Haha! Such a kidder! (leaves room)
Itachi: Must study how to kill…. (sits close to the T.V.)
Itachi is watching The Bride of Chuckie…..
(He likes to watch an awful lot of killing, doesn't he?)
Itachi: Who's gonna be bothering me today….?
Sasuke: Ohayo, nii-san!
Itachi: Stinkin' family…..
Sasuke: Are you watching dollies? That one looks ugly! But that one looks really pretty.
Itachi: Shut up……
Sasuke: You want me to get you some popcorn? I promise I won't use the oven this time.
Itachi: The oven…..yes……(imagines Sasuke getting baked) Heh…heh…heh….
Sasuke: Wow! The pretty one just got kicked in the……oven……..
Itachi: (evil grin)
Itachi: (glares at Sasuke)
Sasuke: Nii-san….? runs off DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
So, a few years of getting pissed by the family…..
Was enough time to study the killers in the movies he liked to watch.
Inspired by the family's annoying mouths.
On the night he killed his whole clan…..
Sasuke: Nii-san, why!
Itachi: You ruined my movies……
And so on……
And that is why Itachi killed his clan.
Blame the movies.
So….didya like it?
If it was lame don't worry you can tell me!
Oh! And for those of you who are plannin' to sue….
I DON'T OWN NARUTO, 'KAY?
THIS IS JUST A THEORY!
Got it memorized?