Green With Envy

This is the result of a challenge I made to myself. To write BBRae on impulse to see what I got. And here you have it. It's BB's POV and a more of a ramble than anything but I thought it was worth sharing since I've got nothing else going on. Enjoy. It's BBRae onesided oneshot and with some mild mentions of Groth. Hey, if you like, come on in and tell me. It will be most appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans...nuhnuhnuhnuh-nuh.


Sex appeal.

Raven's got it.

She'll never admit it, never to herself, and if I tell her I'll die a horrible flaming death down into the many dimensions of Hell she could open. And she reads.

I'd be doomed.

She doesn't even try to be sexy or attractive, she just is. It doesn't help that she chose a costume that appears to ride…..places. And skin-tight around….other places.

She'll never admit this either but she's pretty. She doesn't have to have perfect glowing skin or perfect glowing hair, she's got mystery. And confidence.

And that, my friends, is sexy.

Okay, yeah, sometimes Raven's a bitch and she can be insecure (not very often) but she tries so hard to be good, to protect us from herself. Because she acts the way she does, I love her for it. I love her mystery. I love the way her violet hair falls over her eyes when she bows her head. I love the way the same violet hardens into ice, a glittering flawless diamond sparkle of defiance.

Problem is…she loves someone else.

Who am I standing next to the student of the Batman?

It's never spoken out loud but she respects him the most, looks to him to show sanity and faith when everything is out of control. Robin will always be the first person she'll trust. That little piece of info is the thing that hurts most. I think to myself all the time... what makes him so special?

Is she impressed by the fact he's only human and still risks his neck along with the rest of us?

Has she fell under the spell that countless other girls were frenzied by when a warm cocky smile swerved their way?

The R-Cycle? I mean, she works with Cyborg all the time on his car and I've seen her poking her nose through some race car magazines before.

I can honestly say that at times I really really hate Robin. He is an arrogant reckless son-of-a-bitch. Everyone knows it.

So why does she not care?

Oh, Starfire would never allow it. She's far too wrapped up in Robin's intentions to be pushed away any time soon. One way or another, Raven's dirty little secret is gonna slip out and Star will freak. She'll probably say how amusing 'Friend Raven' is, and cling to Robin even more desperately and cause a chain reaction where she'll stay alone in her room and wallow in her own self-doubt on how she feels. It would be so messy and I don't think Raven cares, because she's not going to acknowledge her feelings for our leader. Ever.

It's a secret that will going down with her to her grave. It's another secret that Robin knows…and wants to feel it back.

Another… that he can't.

He doesn't deserve her. No one does really; no one will understand what she has to go through every day.

Is it wrong for me to want to try?

I'm the person most vulnerable to her attacks, the one who irritates her worse than any of our other teammates, because I care the most. There's nothing I wouldn't do to save her life. Even when I've done my fair share of terrible things, calling her 'creepy', invading her privacy, invoking the demon inside her. It gives me a weird sense of satisfaction that I'm the only one who can get under her skin.

Doesn't matter that it's insults she gives me, or death glares, as long as it's something. Some physical evidence that she feels, knows I'm alive.

It doesn't matter she doesn't love me back.

She could still learn.

I go to sleep with that hope. Remembering her cool slim arms touching my neck when she opened her bedroom door for me and hugged me on sight. The silky crook of her smooth neck against my cheek, barely having time to catch the scent of something dark in her perfume. Imagining the diamond sparkle in her eyes when I pulled back aghast, cruel ice turning into a shimmering indigo pool of downcast.

No matter what she decides to do…I'll always be the green shadow in the background, leaping from the far side of the room when everyone else is too busy, catching her fallen.