How to Annoy the Hell out of James Potter
By : GoddessGirl123
Chapter 3 : Tip number 2
A Flash from the past : and when he walked into the Great Hall, things only seem to get worst.
"Oh, we're dead." Lily said as Anne-Marie locked the door magically.
"Oui!" Anne-Marie moaned as she sank into the bed next to me. "'e 'eard about me wanting to dump Sirius, 'e's going to tell 'im and 'e's going to get angry and make eet 'arder to dump 'eem." Lily nodded. They sat there in silence for a few moments, but it didn't last long since some one decided to start kicking the door yelling "OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!".
"Alright, keep your shirt on!" Anne-Marie said as she waved her wand at the door revealing a tear stained furious red face of there friend, Paige Elliot.
"I HATE HIM!" she yelled as she kicked the wall angrily.
" 'Oo?" Anne-Marie asked as she pulled Paige away from the wall.
"REMUS!" She screamed. "I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN! IN FACT, I WON'T HAVE TO SINCE I DUMPED HIM!"
"Tu vat?" Anne-Marie yelled.
"You what ?' Lily screamed. 'Oh, Paige, you didn't!'
'I did!' she cried. 'He is such a bastard, I hate him. He never talks to me, he hides things from me. And when I ask him if he's feeling all right because he looks so pale at dinner he just blows up! So I do to, and I dumped him right there on the spot and ran up here!' She continued to cry as the other two girls comforted her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX In The Great Hall, Moments Before XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"STOP ASKING ME THAT!" Remus yelled angrily at Paige just as James entered. His yell caused everyone to stop talking, the Great Hall going deafly silent.
"Oh, SO YOU'RE ASKING ME NOT TO CARE ANY MORE?" Paige shouted rising from across the table.
"NO, I'M ASKING YOU TO STOP BLOODY ASKING ME THAT! IT GETS ANNOYING AFTER A WHILE!"
"WELL, I'M NOT THE ONLY THING THAT GETS ANNOYING AFTER A WHILE AM I?"
"SHUT IT ELLIOT!"
"I WOULD TELL YOU TO TOO, BUT YOU DO THAT A LOT ALREADY DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING! NOT ONE SECRET, WHAT ARE THEY, SECRETS THAT EVERYONE KNOWS EXCEPT ME?"
"NO! THEY AREN'T, AND YOU AREN'T THE MOST OPEN GIRL I'VE EVER MET EITHER. BUT I DON'T COMPLAIN! YOU THINK YOU'RE TO PERFECT, EVEN IF I DID YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN! ALL YOU DO IS WINE AND ACT LIKE A BITCH!"
They were both standing now, and as soon as Remus shouted this, Paige froze. No one ever called her a bitch, or swore at her at all. She looked at him, her face turning slowly red. She pulled back her hand and slapped him as hard as she could across the face. A gasp went up around the hall as Paige said in a loud whisper.
"I hate you, and I never want to see or date that ugly face of yours again." With that she stormed out of the Great Hall, knocking into James' shoulder as she left. 'I'll tell him later' James thought as Sirius and Remus walked towards him. 'Oh, what the hell, I shouldn't keep him in the dark."
"I can't believe I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me." Remus whispered sadly as Paige's robes disappeared around the corner. "I guess I'm joining James in the 'no girlfriend zone'."
"No you're not! Sirius is coming with you!" James blurt out. 'Oh now I've done it, I have to say it now!'
"Um James, Anne-Marie is my girlfriend..."
"Not for much longer mate." James said sadly. "I heard her and Lily talking, she wants to dump you because you aren't right for her." He watched Sirius's face change as he slowly backed away from James.
"She can't do that!" Sirius suddenly yelled. "I'm Sirius Black! No girl dumps me, especially some stupid blonde French girl who is obviously not the right one for me any more either." Suddenly Remus began making strange hand movements, brings his fingers across his throat in a cutting motion.
"What do you want Remus? Because if you're going to start bragging about how your ex-girlfriend was so smart, don't even try talking to me! I know Anne-Marie was dumb, she can barely talk right!" Remus and now James began to look more desperate was waving his hands trying to signal him to stop talking.
"What the fuck you want? She was a stupid spoiled French brat, what more can I say?"
"Oh for heavens sake Sirius, shut up!" James yelled frustrated.
"Look behind you!" Sirius turned and gasped to see the sad hurt face of his girlfriend.
"Ees zat vut tu alvays though of me? A stupid spoiled French brat? Deed tu only go out vith me because of my looks? Like Léon deed?" Anne-Marie's eyes began to shine with miserable tears, her voice heartbreaking.
"No, Baby, I just thought you were going to leave me and I was angry." Sirius said soothingly, his voice lined with guilt and regret as he moved forward to except her into his arms. But she pushed away from him.
"Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean those things. I shouldn't have said them!"
"You're right," Anne-Marie cried out pulling away again, tears now flowing freely down her face. "You shouldn't have." With that, she ran down the hall, away from her now not boyfriend, Sirius.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The Girls XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Well I did eet." Anne-Marie cried as she ran into the dorm room. "I found out eef 'e vanted me or not and 'e said all zees mean zings. I don't vant 'eem even eef 'e vants me." Paige and Lily walked over to comfort Anne-Marie, but she pushed them away and ran instead for Lily's book bag. She yanked out the book and turned to chapter two.
"I'm going to make 'eem pay 'ell after zat!" Anne-Marie growled as she began to read what it said.
After completing the last chapter, and annoying who ever greatly, it is time to read on. Another tip awaits you, close to your grasp. Read on if you would like to know what it is. Stop if you don't. If you stop, you will probably throw this book out the window or into the fireplace where it will become smoldering ashes. If you don't stop, then you are reading this now. And, just to point out, did you just no you read 17 seconds of your life reading this pointless. Unlike this paragraph, the next one shall help you.
When they annoying person that you're trying to annoy is not getting annoyed, continue using your 'moo' trick, but also every time they come close enough, reach out and snatch, yank, or pull out that persons animals or its hair. Yell loudly 'DNA', then repeat the process. Be sure reread previous chapters if you forget; old tricks can still help.
"Ok zen, every time Siri comes near moi, I am going to yank at 'ees 'air and yell 'DNA' like zees book sez."
"I don't know guys, don't you think that might embarrass us just a tiny bit?" Paige said quietly as she read the page again, doubtfully.
"Do you want to get back at Remus or not?" Lily said sternly.
"And Sirius?" Anne-Marie put in.
"And James? They all are ruining our lives..."
"Well, fine, let's go do it now!" Paige grabbed her friend's wrists and pulled them towards the door out of the dorm room. They quietly walked down the stairs and were happy to see that all three Marauders were sitting on the sofa with there backs to them.
"Why did you tell me Anne-Marie wanted to break up with me when she didn't?" Sirius asked in an annoyed fashion as Anne-Marie crept closer to them.
"I don't know, because I thought then Remus and you could comfort each other while I did nothing?" James shrugged as Lily's fingers inched towards his hair.
"Hey!" Remus wined causing Paige to want to pull that long hair of his any more. Anne-Marie looked towards them and held up three fingers silently. She dropped one and brought her fingers to a few hairs that were sticking out on the top of Sirius's head. She dropped her second fingers as the other two mirrored her hand movements. She dropped her last finger and made a grab for Sirius's hair just as Paige and Lily did so to. They all yanked and pulled out the hair and screamed DNA at the same time.
"DNA!" The three girls yelled.
"Oww!" Screamed the three boys, twisting around to see what had just happened. The girls turned and began walking up the stairs.
"Lily!" James called.
"Baby doll," Sirius said
"Paigie," Remus cried out. But all of there calls were answered with one loud
"Moo!" and a slam of a door.
"Oh yah, this day is going real good." James said rubbing his head. "In one day, Lily acquirers a book to annoy us, Anne-Marie and Paige both dump you two, and we're all loosing hope on ever getting girl friends."
"You said it Prongs." Remus said.
They sighed as one. This was going to be a long last two weeks of school...