Summary: AU! Everybody's got a happy ending! Well, sorta….. But not for our favorite Colonel who turned into a four year-old! Experience the fun, the adventure, the fluff, the horror! RoyxRiza

Disclaimer: We don't own FMA! grumbles

From the brilliantly damaged minds of EnigmaRaziel and mimicshalle…………..

A Twisted Fairytale

Act 1

The Change

"Hey Brig! W-want some coffee?" Havoc asked his superior officer, all the while sweating profusely at the back of his head from sheer uneasiness.

"…….hmmmmmmm?" Roy mechanically turned his head to his subordinate's direction.

"What happened Brig? You look a little under the weather…." Havoc sweatdropped as he looked at Roy's scrawny face. "Coffee?"

Roy was barely able to nod his head from hunger. Apparently, he was up late last night reading "Howl's Moving Castle" and forgot to eat dinner as well as breakfast the following morning.

"Just a sec Brig!" Havoc scurried to Hughes and the others.

Colonel Mustang was promoted to Brigadier General for all the heroic deeds, successful missions, and hard work ehem, courtesy of his beloved Riza Hawkeye he had done. That also goes the same to all his subordinates who were promoted to their well deserved ranks. The Fuhrer even gave them a new office that was a lot bigger than their old one. But with the raise comes more work.

Havoc, Fuery, Breda, Falman, Hughes and even Armstrong were all hanging out in Roy's office since it was lunch break. But the the Brigadier wasn't allowed to leave his office until his work was done thanks to Hawkeye, who went to get their lunch five minutes ago.

"Isn't Hawkeye here yet? I'm famished!" Roy's face was getting skinnier and skinnier with every passing minute. "I'm sooooo huuuungry……." Roy's tummy gave off another monstrous grumble. "Oh God! I'm gonna die from starvation!" And he buried his head on his desk with all the paperwork he's been doing.

"Ano sa! Ano sa!" Havoc called while the others, obviously led by Hughes, made a huddle around a lone silver canister of hot brew at the center. "Is it ready Hughes?"

"Of course!" Hughes replied as his glasses glinted suspiciously. "Hehehe."

"Are you sure that this is gonna work?" Breda skeptically asked. Hughes pouted.

"Yeah, is this thing for real?" Fuery said in a small voice, "I mean, would it really make the Brigadier young again?" Hughes twitched his brow.

"They're right though, no one among us is skilled in alchemy besides the Brigadier and the Elric Brothers," Falman stated while Armstrong nodded his head in approval.

Hughes looked as if the world was against him. "Oh c'mon guys! We've already agreed we'd go through this!" he defended. "And besides, I made sure nothing went wrong while I was making it!"

"That's what we're afraid of." All of them said in unison.

"Wha? You're so mean! Don't you trust me?" Hughes mocked hurt. "This is our chance! C'mon! While Hawkeye is still out! C'mon guys! This is a chance in a lifetime!" Hughes tried to convince them as he made a face.

The others looked at each other uneasily.

"Or would you rather see my new album of my beloved and super cute daughter Elysia!" Hughes announced rather too enthusiastically.


Hawkeye was on her way to the mess hall to get their lunch. But when she turned the corner that would lead her to the cafeteria, she stopped dead on her tracks.

"Oh my…"

Apparently, the men in the military were fusing about a new dish in the menu and were creating chaos on who goes first in line.

"…God help me…."


Hughes poured the coffee onto a mug while his comrades watched around him. The coffee gave off some smoke that formed a skull with crossed bones under it and had vanished just as soon as it had formed. The guys sweatdropped as Hughes had a maniacal grin plastered on his face.

"Is that really safe to drink?" Fuery quietly asked no one in particular.

"Nyeheheheheh—" Hughes laughed and handed it to Havoc.

"Wha? Why do I have to give it to him?" Havoc yelled as he pointed at himself.

"Shhhhh!" They all clamped Havoc's mouth shut and looked behind them to see if the Brigadier heard them. To their comfort, he didn't even budge an inch.

"Because you asked him first, dummy!" Hughes grinned as Havoc hung his head in defeat.

'God help me! I'd have to kiss my ass goodbye!' Havoc thought while walking towards the Brigadier with the coffee in hand. 'Huhuhu, I'd be the first one to burn if he finds out!'

"H-here ya go Brig! ehehehe! Drink it all up!"

Roy gratefully accepted the mug and inhaled its sweet aroma. "Is this latte?" Havoc and the others quickly nodded their heads in unison while Fuery did the opposite. They all looked alarmed at Fuery.

"Drink it already!" Hughes ushered. Roy arched a brow.

"Aren't you a bit too enthusiastic about this?" Roy said.

They all hurriedly shook their heads from side to side, except Fuery who nodded rather too quickly. Poor Fuery got his head slapped and collected glares from his comrades. Roy gave them another look but quickly ignored them when he heard his stomach grumbling again. 'Coffee or not, I'm hungry' Roy assured himself as he gave the mug one last look before taking it in one long swig. Havoc dived behind the couch where Hughes and the others were hiding and they all braced themselves.

As the last drop of coffee was consumed, Roy's body gave off a sort of soft glow and then steam started to form around him which later turned into a thick fog of white smoke. Sound of dozens of deflating balloons filled the room as the smoke grew thicker and thicker. As the smoke cleared, Hughes and the others formed a line and peeked from behind the couch with Armstrong being the tallest.

"Ah! That coflee tasted weally nice!" They heard a squeaky voice say.



AN: Hehehe! Did you guys like it? Please R & R! Oh if there are errors please let us know!