Title: Call Me
AN: This is a one-shot and I mean it. I was inspired by Quidditch Players' Wives by thorpeyfreak. 'Nuff said.
beep "Harry Potter. I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message." beep
"Harry! I know you're not busy! Pick up!"
"Harry! Harry! Harry! HARRY!"
click "HERMIONE! What are you trying to do? Ginny and I are having the most romantic candlelit dinner--"
"Spare me, Harry. Not now. I have to tell you something."
"Well, get on with it!"
"Malfoy asked me out for dinner. Tonight! Harry, can you believe this? Malfoy! Dinner! Tonight!"
"Why are you screaming at me for? I'm not Malfoy. If you don't want to go, then tell him. It's not like you have to have my permission. Honestly, Hermione--"
"Harry, he's only doing this to annoy me and to annoy you. Aren't you annoyed?"
"Annoyed? Me? Right now, the hell I am."
"Harry, tell him to back off."
"You're his partner. Tell him I'm...I'm engaged, or something. Tell him I'm engaged to you or Ron--hell, I don't care! Or tell him I'm gay--"
"Yeah, you tell him that. I'm a Victor/Victoria. I'm a crossdressing freak out to eat pale flesh and blonde heads."
"Hermione, you do know you sound ridiculous?"
"Harry! I'm desperate. You're an Auror, you have special...privileges...above us civilians. You could hex him..."
"No! I'm not hexing my own partner, Hermione! And frankly, I don't want to be in much contact with him. Having the git as my partner is hell enough."
"But don't you mind that if he goes out with me, and if something--err--you know...happens between the two of us you will have to face him more often?"
"I will not allow myself to be the bridge by which the two of you will use to annoy each other. Harry, he's only asking me out to get to you."
"Hermione, hasn't it ever occured to you that the git actually wants to ask you out because of reasons entirely contrary to what you're thinking?"
"Shut up, Potter! That's absurd!"
"Look, Hermione. I'm not going to get in between the two of you. You fix this yourself. Malfoy hasn't been annoying me for a week and I'd like to keep it that way."
"A week? Funny, it's also been a week since he got hold of my number. Hmmm, I wonder..."
"Don't you hang up on me, Harry! We're not done yet."
"What, Gin? The chicken's burning? Okay, I'm coming!"
"That's so fake, Harry."
"Bye, Hermione. Talk to you soon. Bye!"
"Good evening, Hermione Granger speaking."
"You sound like the weatherman, Granger."
"What do you want, git?"
"That's nasty. Do you answer all your callers that way?"
"Get it over with, ferret."
"Alright, alright. Don't get your pink lacey satin knickers in a twist. I just called to check up on you."
"Haha. Like I'm sick. I don't need checking up on, Malfoy. Now quit the drama."
"What time shall I pick you up?"
"Dinner, Granger. It's almost eight. Ransey's shall be expecting us to fill the reservation by then."
"I didn't remember scheduling dinner with anyone tonight."
"Cut the crap, Granger. I asked you twice everyday for the past week, and now the time has come. It's rude to turn down an offer from a gentleman, you know."
"I'll tell you when I meet a gentleman, Malfoy."
"I'll swing by your flat in a few minutes then?"
"What? No! I didn't consent to anything!"
"Nor did you refuse."
"Well, I'm going to refuse right now."
"Too late, I'm about to Floo to your place now."
"I won't go!"
"You'll love Ransey's, Granger."
beep "Hi, this is Hermione Granger. I can't come to the phone right now. I'm either busy, at work, or asleep. But if you leave your name, number, and message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can." beep
"Hermione, it's Harry. Wake up, sleepyhead! It's almost seven. So, how'd it go last night? Did you even go? What did you tell the git? Call me when you wake--"
click "Damn, Potter, do you call people this early in the morning?"
"Wha--Mal--huh? What are you--Hermione--but--"
"'Er--er--er--'shut up, you stuttering loon. Granger's still asleep. Do you want me to wake her up?"
"But, I thought--"
"Yeah, you're right. She's still sore from last night, I believe. Best let her sleep for now. Bye, Potter. See you at work."
squee I loved writing this one! Took me 30 mins. and it was worth it! whew!
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