Author Note: Hey guys, this is just another of my completely pointless fics - because I like pointless stuff - and just to warn you, I wrote it in about ten minutes...so if its cack, thats why! Enjoy!
Oh and I also know that Jack isn't with the 10th Doc in the TV show, but this is my story, so I'm doing what I like!
Oh and damn...I didn't do the disclaimer...do I really need to? I think you know by now that I don't own Doctor Who, but my Doctor Who collection is rapidly increasing...so much so that I'm not gonna list all of it...I'm just gonna go play with my remote controlled Dalek and Sonic Screwdriver I bought at the weekend...Did I say that out loud? Oops!
"Let's find out just how clever you really are," the Quiz Host said into the microphone as he looked around at the teams. The Doctor, Rose and Jack all sat in the furthest corner, arguing over something or other and apparently not noticing that the quiz was about to begin.
"Ahem...Team TARDIS, are you ready?" the host asked.
"Yep," came the Doctor's reply as he pulled the paper from Jack, laid it infront of him and put on his glasses.
"Who came up with our name?" Rose hissed.
"Oh Rose please, we've just spent the last ten minutes arguing over that! Can't you pay attention for more than five seconds?" the Doctor snapped, earning himself a packet of salted peanuts round the head from a now pissed off Rose.
"Ok, so if we're all ready, here's the first question. You are participating in a race and you overtake the second person. What position are you in?"
"First!" Jack and the Doctor said at once as the Doctor began to scribble the answer down.
"Second," Rose said.
"No, you'de be first," Jack corrected.
"Jack, if you overtake the second person and take their place, then you'd be second. If you overtook the first person, then you'de be first," Rose replied matter-of-factly, opening her packet of peanuts and flicking one at his head.
The Doctor thought about that for a moment as Jack tried to snatch the packet from Rose, then crossed out his answer and wrote down Rose's.
"Second Question," the host continued. "If you overtake the last person, then you are in what position...?"
"Second to last," Jack and the Doctor replied together, but Rose was shaking her head.
"It's a trick question," she explained. "How can you overtake the LAST person?"
"Damn...she's right," Jack muttered, so the Doctor scribbled down Rose's answer again.
Question: Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add
Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is
"Erm, 5000?" Jack asked.
"4100," Rose replied, flicking another peanut at him. The Doctor didn't believe her so he pulled out his calculator and tried it.
"She's right again," he muttered. "How the hell do you know all these?"
"It's common sense really," Rose said, now taking a sip of her coke because Jack had confiscated her peanuts.
"Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono and a fifth. What is the name of the fifth daughter?"
"Nunu?" Jack guessed.
"Jack, did you not listen to the question?" Rose sighed. "The fifth daughter is Mary. He said Mary's father so Mary must be the fifth child."
"Smart-arse!" Jack snapped, causing Rose to choke on a peanut that she'd found up her sleeve.
"Okay, now the bonus round," the host
said. "There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if
there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses,
should he express himself?"
"He just has to open his mouth and ask - so simple," Rose sighed.
"But why would a blind man need sunglasses?" Jack couldn't help wondering, not noticing Rose's hand sneaking into his pocket and pulling out her pack of peanuts again.
Half an hour later, the three of them were handed a check for £500 and the pub quiz trophy.
"I'll take that," Rose said, swiping the check from the Doctor, who howled.
"You big baby!" Rose and Jack exclaimed together.
"Ok, what did you snatch the big evil envelope that only contains a little check from me for, cutting my finger in the process?" he babbled, sucking his finger.
"Huh?" Rose asked, confused.
"Why did you take the check?" Jack interpreted and Rose raised her eyebrows, flicking peanuts at them both.
"Because if it hadn't been for me, you two wouldn't have got any of the questions right." Then, seeing the disapointment on their faces and the salt in their hair, added "Come on, I'll buy us all a drink to celebrate."
"Now you're talkin'!" Jack and the Doctor exclaimed delightedly. "But no more nuts for you!"
Both realised what they'd said and cringed..."EWWWWWW! We didn't mean it like that! Because that would mean we had dirty minds...which we don't! Actually we're gonna shut up now and never talk again for fear of landing ourselves in even deeper trouble than we're already in!"
Neither were surprised when Rose emptied her remaining peanuts over their heads.