I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, the song "Bad Guy", or Rain (I
The phone rang; a shrill, consistent sound shattering the silence of the empty apartment. A large, tawny colored cat was enjoying the last rays of summer in a small balcony outside. It yawned once and stretched lazily before silently padding home for his dinner. A couple doors down, a hyperactive Chihuahua barked in his high-pitched voice for a while before he was quieted by his owner. Still, the phone continued to ring.
x x x x x
To put it bluntly, I'm a bad guy.
I'm the kind of person that parents warn their children about. I'm the reason why teenagers shouldn't be outside late at night. When mothers see me, they pull their kids to the other side of the street. I've tried every kind of drug there is, I've robbed local jewelry stores; hell, I've even killed before. I'm not the kind of person you should know. I'm not the one for you.
How did I allow myself to get in so deep? When I first saw you, I never thought you could affect me like this. I shouldn't have been attracted to you, but I was. You seemed so pure; innocent, carefree, and full of joy, almost like an angel. I wanted to know why you constantly had a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, as if you knew some great secret that no one else did.
We're so different. You're the daughter of a rich businessman. I'm the son of a drunkard who died of alcohol poisoning. You're fresh out of college and just got a new job as a waitress. I barely graduated high school and have been working for a criminal organization for seven years. You think that life is wonderful and full of opportunities. I think life is a bitch that stabs you in the back when you're not looking. We're polar opposites, and the two of us being together is so wrong it's ironic; opposites attract, after all.
Why? Why is it that out of all the people in this world, you're the only one who can get to me like this? I should be able to leave you, I should be able to walk away without looking back, like I did with so many other women, but there's something about you that won't let me do that. Maybe it's because of the hint of loneliness that's always in your eyes. I can tell that you're afraid of being alone, just as I am.
Kaoru. God, even the sound of your name drives me insane. Whenever I hear those two syllables I get this warm feeling inside. I don't even know how to describe it properly. It starts at the pit of my stomach and gradually spreads throughout my body, kind of like downing a bowl of hot soup on a cold, winter day, I just feel relaxed and happy all over.
One day, when I become good enough for you, I want to tell you that I love you. I want to protect you from everything and anything. I want to let everyone know that you're mine and mine only.
But that, of course, is the problem.
You're mine, but you're not supposed to be. A nice girl like you is supposed to date a good-looking rich boy for a couple of years, get married, and eventually settle down in a two story house with a white-picket fence, two beautiful children, and a beagle. Instead, you're stuck with a shady criminal like me.
I've tried to tell you; believe me, I've tried dozens of times to tell you who I really am, but every time I open my mouth to say it, I see the trust you have for me in your eyes, and I just lose my nerve. I can't bear to see that trust replaced by hate and betrayal when I tell you that I'm a member of an underground syndicate, and all the flowers and chocolate I gave you were bought with dirty money.
Instead, I keep my occupation a secret, telling you that I work for my uncle's company while I continue to see you, even though I know I would bring you nothing but pain and misery. I swore to myself that I would tell you one day, but I guess I kept on prolonging that day, and now it's just too late.
We've always had a bit of a conflict with another group, White Tiger. Actually, we have a hell of a conflict with them, but things had been going a little smoother between us, and we even had a business deal, eventually.
They had set us up, those bastards. There was supposed to be a shipment of cocaine in the warehouse waiting for us. Instead, we found a bunch of policemen. To make a long story short, I was captured and jailed, along with the other men who went to the warehouse. The whole thing was publicized. Those sons of bitches even tipped the media off so they could humiliate us further.
You don't know how hard it was for me. I spent every minute in jail thinking of you, regretting that I haven't told you the truth earlier, wishing that I had met you before I got caught up in all this shit. I could have been the man who would buy you that two story house with the white picket fence. I could have been the one who got you that beagle… I could have been the father of your children.
But, I realize now that this is impossible. Any kind of future with me is impossible. That's why I need to see you one last time. Some of my buddies helped me break out of prison, and I know it's dangerous to be hanging around the same area as before, but I need to get things straightened out, or else I would feel guilty for the rest of my life. I can't leave a nice girl like you waiting forever for me, a man with no future.
x x x x x
"No, Kenshin, you wouldn't do this, right?" The raven haired girl lifted her head to look at the man with pleading eyes.
"Kaoru, I thought you would have realized by now that I'm not the sort of man who would have a long-term relationship. I get bored easily, and frankly, I'm bored of you," the fiery haired man stated in an emotionless voice.
"But I thought… I thought you loved me," she whispered meekly, tears starting to gather in her ocean blue eyes.
"When did I ever say that?" he asked coldly.
"Well, you didn't… but I could tell. I could tell, Kenshin!" she replied with a note of determination.
"Don't jump to conclusions, Kaoru," he scolded mockingly.
Kaoru clutched the hem of her flowing white skirt in distress as she crumpled onto the floor.
"But Kenshin, I love you," she whispered.
"No, Kaoru, you don't. You just think you do," he informed her calmly.
"I do, I know I do! I-I don't care if you're a criminal, Kenshin! I know you. You're kind and strong, and funny, and gentle, and I don't care, Kenshin! You're not like what they said on the news. I love you!" she burst out.
"I'm sorry Kaoru, but I don't," he said without a hint of remorse.
Kaoru started sobbing uncontrollably, too upset to notice the teardrops that made their way slowly down Kenshin's face as he walked out the door.
x x x x x
You are the only man I ever gave my heart to and the only one who's ever broken it.
From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were used to playing with women's hearts. The way you dressed, the way you looked, and even the way you walked told me that you were a "love 'em and leave 'em" kind of guy. I knew I should keep my distance; I knew you were bad news, but there was something in your eyes that drew me to you. Beneath that bad-ass exterior, I could see the glint of loneliness that I know so well, and I couldn't help but wonder how two people as different as you and I could have anything in common with each other.
I'm so pathetic. It's been eleven days since you left me, and I still can't go a day without crying. Maybe that's why you broke up with me; I'm too weak for a person like you.
I loved you, Kenshin, I truly did, and as much as I hate to admit it, I still love you. You were the only person who just… gets me. You understood my moods; you knew when to leave me alone and when to give me a hug. You were the one who I could always talk to, the one who I could always turn to, the one who I could always rely on. You know what they say about soul mates? For a few blessed months, I believed I found mine.
I thought… I actually thought that I was special to you. I guess it was because of the way you were around me. When in public, you always have an air of indifference around you, but when we were alone; when it was only me and you, Kenshin, you're a completely different person. I get to see the loving and gentle side of you, the one that you never show to other people. Nobody would ever think that you're the type of man who makes blueberry pancakes for his girlfriend every morning, chicken noodle soup when she's sick, do the dishes for her when she's too tired from a long day at work, or cuddle with her right before you go to sleep.
You were so sweet, you know. I never thought that we would end up like this.
I should be bitter right now. I should hate you. I should tear up every picture we took together into a million pieces of shattered memories. I've tried to, but every time I hold a picture of us in my hands, I remember the time we spent together, and I just can't seem to do it.
Have I become so weak that I can't even slightly detest the man who left me because I grew too boring for him? Am I so weak that I actually want you back? I never realized that I've become so dependent of you until you left. I feel like just when I find a shoulder I can lean on, you suddenly walk away from me, leaving me unbalanced, and I fall. Down, down, down, like Alice when she fell down the rabbit hole; confused, scared, lonely, and I just want to reach solid ground so I can feel secure again.
Do you know what it feels like to have your heart broken, Kenshin? Do you know how much it hurts, to give someone all of your heart and to have it returned broken and bleeding? Do you know how hard it is to put it back together, piece by piece, knowing that it can never return to its original state?
I suppose not. After all, you're the one who breaks them.
x x x x x
Kenshin strolled down the street, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. It was near dusk, the whole city was bathed in a golden light, and the crowd of pedestrians was thinning, which meant that it would be easier for patrolling policemen to recognize him. He knew that it was dangerous to be out in public after escaping from jail for only two weeks, but he was tired of hiding out in Sano's house, like a coward. Besides, he would be leaving this town for good the next day, and he wanted to see it one last time before he went.
Kenshin continued down the street, ignoring the tiny voice in his head that mused, somewhat hopefully, that he just might see Kaoru while wandering around. Kenshin knew it was selfish; he had just broken up with her in the cruelest way possible, and now he wanted to see her again. He admitted to himself that the words he said were harsh, but it was the only way to prevent from causing her more pain in the future. Kenshin sighed and tried to forget the sorrow he saw in her deep blue eyes.
The sound of a car approaching caused him to look up. His head quickly snapped back down as he recognized the familiar police siren.
The car slowed when it passed him, and then screeched to a sudden stop. Kenshin took that as a signal to start running.
x x x x x
Kenshin gasped for air, out of breath, as he leaned against a secluded corner of the mall. He had been sprinting for fifteen minutes straight when he spotted the large, multi-level structure and decided that it was the safest place to go. There were too many people for the police to open fire, and it would be hard to find him in the sea of bodies. By the time he entered through the automatic doors, there were three or four cars chasing after him. He was surprised that they hadn't caught him yet.
Kenshin shivered unnaturally and couldn't help but feel uneasy. A sense of impending doom hung in the air; underneath the layer of chattering voices was a thick, foreboding silence. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, he had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. He tried to shrug it off as nervousness, but his sixth sense told him otherwise.
Just in case, he thought, there's something I have to do, or else I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
Slowly, Kenshin reached inside his pocket and pulled out a sleek, black cell phone. He punched in the seven digit number even more hesitantly, his fingers feeling as heavy as lead, and as he waited anxiously for the dial tone to stop, he knew it was the last time he would ever hear the sweet sound of her voice again.
x x x x x
Kaoru browsed through the small clothing store, not really paying attention to the wide array of colors scattered throughout the room. Megumi had convinced her to go on a shopping spree, saying that the best way to forget about bastard boyfriends was to shop to your heart's content. Kaoru never really liked shopping in the first place, but she had a feeling that sitting around at home and crying all day wasn't very healthy, so she forced herself to get off of the couch and follow Megumi to the mall.
Kaoru spotted a pile of auburn colored shirts neatly folded in a stack and her eyes immediately watered up. It was hard to forget about her "bastard boyfriend" when everything she saw reminded her of him. She felt the first teardrops spill out of the corner of her eye and hurried to the bathroom after muttering a hasty excuse to the worried looking Megumi.
x x x x x
Kenshin swore inwardly as he ran for his life for the second time that day. The police had finally spotted him when he was buying a hat to hide his distinctive auburn hair. There were currently six uniformed men chasing after him, and he suspected that more would come. Sure enough, he spotted three men with outstretched guns coming towards him from the opposite direction he was running in.
"Fuck!" he exclaimed. They were trying to corner him. Kenshin stopped, looking frantically for a way to escape them. His eyes landed on a deserted hallway and he immediately ran towards it.
The first thing that Kenshin noticed was the word "Women" painted along the wall. He barely had time to register this fact when the sound of heavy footsteps alerted him of the incoming policemen. Out of the corner of his eye, Kenshin saw the heavy door next to him swing open and a raven haired woman step out of it. He pulled the woman in front of him, swung his arm around her neck, and pointed a gun to her head with his free hand just as the police reached him.
"Come any closer and she dies," he warned.
x x x x x
Kaoru forgot how to breathe for a couple of seconds when she felt the cool metal against the side of her head. She had been walking out of the bathroom after locking herself in a small, cramped stall for half an hour and the next thing she knew, she was being held hostage by a strange man.
Kaoru stared fearfully at the policemen gathered in front of her, not daring to move, when she heard a low voice behind her.
"Come any closer and she dies."
Something clicked in her panic- stricken mind. There was something terribly familiar about his voice. She realized that even his scent was familiar: a subtle mix of sandalwood and ginger. Slowly, her hazy mind connected the dots.
"Kenshin?" her voice wavered.
felt his entire body stiffen, and then, a split-second later, she
heard the sound of a gun going off.
x x x x x
For one terrifying moment, Kenshin thought that he had killed Kaoru, but a brilliant burst of pain shot through his chest, and Kenshin smiled in relief. She was still alive.
Kenshin was only vaguely aware that he was falling, and was slightly surprised when he hit the floor. He felt so tired, but he struggled to stay awake. There was something important he had to tell her.
The sound of his name brought a smile to his lips. Kenshin turned slightly to look at her, noting that even with her deep blue eyes swollen and rimmed in red, she still looked as beautiful as ever. He opened his mouth to speak, to tell her the one thing that he wanted her to know, more than anything else in the world.
But before he could finish, a strange sort of sleepiness overtook him. His eyelids fluttered closed, and with one last raspy breath, Himura Kenshin finally succumbed to eternal sleep.
x x x x x
The phone rang once more and paused for a second before it was replaced by a cheery mechanical recording.
"Hi, you're reached Kamiya Kaoru. I'm busy right now, so please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you ASAP."
A sharp beep ensued, followed by a male voice.
"Kaoru… I'm sorry. I didn't think about the consequences from the start. I thought… I thought it would be something short, I thought that I would be able to leave you after a few weeks, but it turned into something more. A lot more. I'm sorry. I know sorry is of no use now. I know I've caused you too much pain. I know it's too late now, but I want you to know, Kaoru, I… I love you."
With a final beep, the message ended.
This is my first one-shot, and my first attempt at something angsty, so I'm kind of anxious to see what your reactions would be (please review and tell me what you think of it!)
This fic was really hard to finish, even though it's really short. I spent around two weeks writing and revising. First person is hard to write, and there were some details I wanted to include that was hard to describe in first person, so I switched between Kenshin's POV, Kaoru's POV, and third person. Did you guys get confused with who was saying what? Also, time does not flow continuously forward in this story. As you can see, the first and last parts are right before Kenshin dies, and the middle is describing their relationship and how he dies.
Do you guys want to know more about the song that inspired this fic? It's called "Bad Guy", sung by Rain (or Bi, in Korean). Go see the music video at , type in "Rain Bad Guy", and click the one with the title that says something about English translation. I really like the MV; it has a really good story line and is one of the saddest I've ever seen. If you like that song, check out "I do" and "It's Raining", also by Rain, who by the way, is currently in America.
Now that I've got this fic over with, I'll focus on "Just a Myth". I know I practically killed "Kenji to the Rescue", but I might be inspired very soon. My baby brother will be born in about two month's time, so prepare for its comeback!
Well, that's all, folks. Remember to review!