Disclaimer: As much as I love FF, I do not own anything. Jenova, on the other hand, owns. Period.

A/N: Yet another idea that crawled into my mind at some inhumane hour, inspired by my other fic… what if Hojo kept a diary? This is set in the time of the Jenova Project. Let the insanity begin… mwahaha…

Memoirs of a Genius

Day I

Oh, the indignity of it. I, Victor Hojo, a fully grown, emotionally stable man, writing a memoir. Lucrecia says it's a journal, I say it's a memoir. Neither are technically correct terms, but memoir just sounds so much more dignified.

Lucrecia gave me this book last night, as we were putting away the chemicals that were needed for the experiments. She told me that if I wrote in here, then maybe I wouldn't talk to the Jenova specimen and freak her out. Her words, not mine.

While Lucrecia is a beautiful, intelligent, woman, I can't help but think that she can be terribly illogical… so what if the specimen is thousands of years old, deaf and blind, catatonic in fact, with hardly any pulse? Doesn't mean I can't talk to it…

Silly woman.

Oh, I swear on Dimitri Ivanovich Mendeleev's name that Valentine is someday going to get an appointment with my scalpel. He just came up to me in that understated, cocky way of his and asked me why I am writing in a diary. I, keeping as cool and collected as ever, replied:

"Um, uh…that, Valentine, is not a diary."

"What is it then?"

"A memoir-uh, I mean, a science log."

As he smirked, I added, "Since when do you get paid to talk, anyway?"

Smooth, Victor, smooth. Valentine is hanging around, trying to see what I'm writing. I really don't comprehend the logic of Lucrecia courting him. Yes, they all think I don't know, but we know, don't we, Jenova dearest? …that was out of habit, a handwritten manifestation of my psychological affinity with the specimen. This will not happen again…. Jenova can't read my diary- memoir!

She can't… can't she?

Anyway, I digress. What does Valentine have that I don't? Let's make an analytical observation, shall we now? Valentine is gorgeous, has great hair, a physically fit body, he's a Turk, his intelligence is above average for a peon, he's a great shot, and he's a gentleman. I am… a genius. And I am very hygienic…in the laboratory.

Yes, yes, I know. In the mind of a woman, that hardly compares to what Valentine is. If I was a woman, I would definitely choose him…

I'm not a woman, though. And the observation of Valentine's assets was made on a purely neutral, analytical standpoint of perception.

What's this talking in my head? Yes, my theory is correct! If one is injected with the cells of the specimen, the subject will be able to connect with Jenova's thought and gain some of its ability! It's still too early to determine whether the latter is true, however. Maybe I should start practicing on the dartboard with Valentine's picture on it. You know, to see if my aim is improving after every injection of Jenova cells… not for pleasure, or anything…

The specimen is communicating to me...!

…No, Jenova, I am not in denial about Valentine.

… Really, I'm not!

…Stop reading my memoir!

…Then how come you are replying to my writings without me thinking them?

…Yes, I certainly did catch you out… and you do know that all that this little chat resulted in is what is going to be a long, tedious and possibly painful experiment for you, and a good time for me?

…Why are you thanking me?

Ugh, Gast is calling me like I am his dog. My intelligence level is supremely higher than his, and his theories are far-fetched, so why am I his subordinate? He wants me to add a footnote to today's experiment's report… Another indignity. And yet another is that I was writing this while he was doing the work, as if I am incompetent!

I mean, a footnote!

OoOoOoOoOo

Professor Gast looked puzzled as an oddly dazed Hojo walked out the door after completing the report. He would have to ask Lucrecia if there were any problems with her husband, or conversely, ask and possibly reprimand Valentine if he'd been swapping around the chemicals Hojo injected himself with again. Their rivalry had not gone by unnoticed, to say the least.

Sighing, he took a look at the footnote.

Inquire as to the possibility of the specimen having sadomasochistic tendencies and/or compulsions. Also, check the veracity of the specimen being female.

He would definitely be talking to Valentine.

OoOoOoOoOo

A/N: I can't help but think that my Hojo sounds like the Architect from the Matrix…

OK, a couple of references in this chapter:

1. Dimitri Ivanovich Mendeleev was a Russian chemist who, after many, many years of hard work and research regarding elements and such, came up with the Periodic Table. Needless to say, he is revered among scientists for coming up with it.

2. I called Hojo Victor because it just seems so appropriate, as in, Victor Frankenstein, as in the book Frankenstein.

Oh, and if you've read my other story, I am not obsessed with sadism; it's just a thing that's really big in the FF7 universe XD My rant is over now!

Please review and tell me if I should continue this….