Ranma's Solution. A one shot by Weebee.
Disclaimer. A fanfic by any other name would infringe just as many copyrights… or in other words, I don't own Ranma.
A/N. A Really stupid and odd way for Ranma to avoid marrying anyone.
Ranma Saotome sat in Akane's room, holding the sheet of paper out to her. "C'mon Akane. I promise. It's foolproof."
Akane looked down at the paper that Ranma held out. "A marriage certificate? Ranma, are you insane?"
"Look Akane, do you want to marry me right now?" Ranma asked, looking at the girl in front of him intently.
Just as Akane was getting ready to hit him over the head for forcing her to answer that kind of question, Ranma hurriedly continued. "I don't wanna know if you love me, hate me or like me. My question is if you want to marry me right now. I mean that's what pops and Mr. Tendo want, and they'll trick us into it eventually if we don't do anythin."
Akane blinked, and then shook her head. "No Ranma, I guess I don't wanna marry a pervert like you." The venom was a lot less audible in those remarks, as it had been since Jusendo, so Ranma just ignored it.
"And I don't wanna marry an uncute tomboy like you either, so just help me get this paper signed by your father for parental consent."
Akane just barely resisted the urge to send Ranma through the wall for the tomboy comment and then asked a question. "Why do you need my father's signature. You aren't trying to run off and marry one of my sisters, are you?"
"No! No Akane, just trust me. If I tell you Nabiki might overhear and this plan has to go off perfectly. Now please, get your father to sign this thing for me."
Akane nodded, taking the paper from Ranma's hands and allowing him to leave the room through the window.
In the next room over, Nabiki Tendo was wondering what Ranma was planning and how to make money off of it. Unfortunately, since she hadn't heard much of the conversation she couldn't sell any major information to anyone.
A half hour later, Akane walked down to her father and sat in front of him, where he was reading a news paper.
"Dad?" Akane said, using her acting skills, which weren't great but were MUCH better than Ranma's, to make her sound cheerful and happy.
"Yes Akane?" Soun said, putting the paper down on the table next to the chair.
"I've finally agreed to Marry Ranma… we're going to elope to keep his enemies from finding out, and I was wondering if You could sign this?" Akane felt guilty for lying to her father, however given how many "Soun and Genma's operation" plans he had pulled, the guilt was only momentary.
Soun began wailing, quickly scrawling his name on the form and handing it back to Akane. She quickly accepted it before his tears blurred the ink.
A few minutes later, Ranma had grabbed the paper from Akane and gone to see his father, who was currently playing with a tire in the backyard.
"Um, pop?" Genma looked up at his son and grunted.
"Shouldn't you be a panda when you do that?"
Genma threw the tire away and kicked up to his feet. "Never mind that boy, what can I do for you."
"Well," Started Ranma. "I was kinda thinkin. You n' Mr. Tendo really want me and Akane to get hitched, don't you?"
Ignoring the statement of the obvious his son had just made, Genma nodded his head and said "Of Course boy. Why, have you decided to honour your poor father's wish?" Tears of happiness were, as with Soun, running down his cheeks.
Ranma sighed and handed his father the marriage certificate. Genma read the title and Soun's signature and quickly scribbled his own name on it, too ecstatic (And stupid) to realize that there were no names in the boxes marked for the bride and groom.
"Thanks pop!" Ranma called, hopping over the stone wall of the Tendo backyard and heading for the town hall. Grabbing one of his friends, Daisuke Hiryo, who was doing yard work, on his way by, Ranma hit the town hall at a run.
"Hey, Ranma. What's up?" Daisuke said, seeming unaffected by the trip he had just taken over one of his best friends' shoulders.
"Hey dai. I need you to witness a wedding for me." Ranma said, grinning.
"You're gunna marry Akane?" Daisuke asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nope, at least not for a long while. Just c'mon." Ranma said, as he dragged his friend into the building.
The town clerk looked doubtfully down at the pigtailed boy in front of him. "…and you say she'll be here in a few minutes?" He asked, looking over the papers to see if they were in order.
"Yeh, but I gotta get goin home to get my parents. You understand right?" Ranma said, grinning as if today were the happiest day in his life.
The clerk shrugged. No one could fake that look. "Alright, so long as she's here within five minutes I'll allow it."
Ranma grinned and ran out of the office.
Five minutes later the girl walked in and signed the papers, and for some reason the witness keeled over and started howling in laughter.
(A day later, Tendo Dojo.)
"Boy, why have you called us all here." Genma asked, looking at his son. "Did your marriage to Akane go successfully?"
Akane, who was in the back of the room, gritted her teeth.
"Pop, the schools have been joined." Ranma said, smirking and handing Genma a form.
"Wh…what?" Genma asked, as he read the form over.
Nabiki snatched it out of Genma's hand and started giggling. "Nice move Saotome." She complimented, smirking at the pigtailed boy.
Kasumi read the paper over Nabiki's shoulder and let out a trademarked, "Oh My!" before Soun grabbed it from his middle daughter's hand, read over it and fainted.
As Soun fainted, Akane grabbed the paper out of the air and read:
Under-aged couple given permission to marry by "Soun Tendo" and "Genma Saotome."
Date, March 4, 1994.
Family Name, "Saotome and Tendo."
Groom's name, "Saotome Ranma."
Groom's age, 18.
Bride's name, "Tendo Ranko."
Bride's age, 18.
Akane began laughing her butt off.
Why did I do this? I couldn't get the idea out of my head. I know it's bad, however it is a rather inventive method of ending the chaos in Nerima, isn't it… well, with exception of the Amazons, that is. It would be hard to kill this obstacle though.