You're Talking About My Boys
Nothing Supernatural is mine; I have borrowed for a while. I'll give them back now – apart from passing a little time with them, I have made no profit from this endeavour – so please don't come looking for me.
Summary: Missouri and John talk at the end of the episode 'Home'.
Spoilers: Some references to 'Home' but not in a big way, nothing else really. The first part of the dialogue is taken from the programme.
She knew he was waiting for her as she re-entered the house, they knew each other well by now, so she started in straight away, 'That boy, he has such powerful abilities. Why he couldn't sense his own father I have no idea.' It had been amazing, Sam had been a surprise, she hadn't sensed it in him when he was a baby and neither his brother nor his father showed the same kind of talent in any way.
'Mary's spirit? You really think she saved the boys?' She could hear the sadness in his voice, the desire to see his children. The man was a stubborn fool.
'I do.' She waited for him to say something, anything, but he remained silent, staring at his hands, twisting his wedding ring. She had to say something, and the man had become a friend over the years, not just a client, he deserved the truth, 'John Winchester, I could just slap you. Why don't you just go talk to your children?'
'I want to. You have no idea how much I want to see them. But I can't, not yet. Not until I know the truth.'
She shook her head almost resigned, then her memory showed her the boys again. She couldn't just give up on them, this was too important. 'John, you've been hunting this thing for the last 22 years. What makes you think you're going to find it now? What if you keep doing this and by the time you're ready to see the boys, it's too late for them? They need you John.'
'They'll be fine. They've got each other. They're strong, they'll look out for each other. Dean has been doing it for years and Sam, he's used to going off and striking out on his own.'
The man could try the patience of a saint. When he wanted to believe something, he sure didn't listen to anyone else. 'He's going to fly apart and then neither of them will be able to do anything.'
'Sam will be fine, first off he's stronger than he looks and sure these abilities you were talking about will be a bit hard to get a grip on but he's got Dean, he'll keep him grounded. I tell you they'll be fine.
'And I'm not talking about Sam…' she spoke deliberately, he was going to listen to her whether he liked it or not. She waited until his eyes were looking at her, 'Dean is going to fly apart and he doesn't know how to accept help from Sam, he's too used to being the big brother and soldier that you made him. He's going to need more than just Sam to mend him, John. I never thought I would say something like this but I know why you have never brought the boys to me again, you have damaged that boy, more than the demons and the death of his mother and you know it too.'
'Dean will be fine. He's a soldier. He understands. Anyway, it was Dean who wouldn't come back to Lawrence, it was the only time he ever really caused me any problems, funny kid.'
'And did you ever stop long enough to give him the time to deal with it?'
'He's fine. He understood the need to find what started this. He's a warrior, he's been hunting most of his life, he's not like Sam. Sam needs protecting.'
'I think you're wrong. I think he doesn't understand, just thanks to you, he doesn't know any different. The two of them, they're like trees. Sam is a young tree, he grows in the shadow of a maturer tree, it protects him from the worst of the wind but even so he bends and bows in the wind and when the wind passes, he gradually stands tall again. Dean is that mature tree, sheltering the sapling, but he can't bend in the wind any longer. One day that wind is going to uproot him and he will crash to the ground and nothing will fix it.'
'Well, I can feel it Missouri, I'm nearly there. He hasn't got to hold out much longer. He'll manage. He's not that old, I think you're exaggerating, he'll be fine. When this is over, I'll talk to him.'
'What's going to change when this is over, John?'
'When we don't have to hunt anymore. We can settle down, we'll have a home again. I don't know maybe come back here, maybe now Dean's been back, he'll feel differently.'
'What's he going to do? This is all he knows; you've made sure of that. Did you ever give him time to talk? Have you ever let him have a dream of a life beyond the hunt? Because you know when I look in him, he doesn't see a future; Sam has dreams, aspirations but not Dean.'
'We'll sort it out, we'll talk about it what ever you think, when we've found the thing that killed Mary.'
'You're a fool John Winchester. I'm telling you that might be too late. I've said my piece. I only hope you don't live to be sorry you didn't listen.'
Author's Note: I wondered why Missouri was so awful to Dean the first time I saw this episodebut on re-watching figured there had to be a reason - after all he doesn't deserve that! Please review and let me know what you think.