Hi. We're collaborating. Again. (This one was done by Imaginator.)

Enjoy...oh, wait.

1) We owneth not POT.
2) We owneth not any mentioned fast food joint/ restaurant.
3) We really REALLY like FAST FOOD. NO offense and really, fast food is GOOD. Do not believe any POT character and whatever we have mangled them to say.
4) NO, no one was fired/took a job leave when we wrote this.
5) No, we not stupid. We just bored. Or cracked-up, take your pick.
6) NO, we do NOT take responsibility for brain breakage.

Okay, now on to the fic.

Fast Food Fiction: Rikkai

Sanada glared at his Styrofoam cup with the glare that had felled so many before it. In fact, if it wasn't made of Styrofoam, undoubtedly it would have collapsed on itself by now, or be burnt with so many holes it'd be a wonder if it could hold anything after it was through.

Fortunately, it was made out of Styrofoam, and so placidly bore the brunt of Sanada's death glare as the stoic fukubuchou narrowed his eyes at the steam emitting from the cup.

He had ordered tea. This…this liquid tasted anything but.

Pulling the teabag out of the cup, he scrutinized it carefully. Perhaps it was not even tea leaves in there, but synthetically-modified substances created by people like Renji who grew up into those scientists who just couldn't not interfere with experimenting on perfectly good tea.

It wasn't even as if he were demanding for Oolong or anything. They could've at least produced something preferably more tea-like.

Yanagi noticed the black stare and smiled serenely. "The chances that you would regard your drink that was highly probable." He reached into his bag and pulled out a small box with an elaborate label on it. "So I took the liberty of bringing along some green tea, just in case."

With a small nod, Sanada accepted the small box, and began scooping out the powder into his cup. Renji averted his attention to Niou, who was meticulously creating a miniature of Tokyo Tower out of French fries, ketchup and the occasional nugget in strategically placed areas. Yagyuu on the other side of him was placidly eating the rejected fries that were deemed too soggy to be used in construction and sorting out the remaining ones on the table.

"Hmm…I've never observed you to be so into architecture, Niou."

"Oh, I'm not," Yagyuu casually answered as he elbowed Niou and passed him a handful of fries.

"But I am. Ah, thanks." Niou carefully balanced another fry on top of his structure before cementing it with tomato sauce.

Meanwhile, Jackal was watching in trepidation as Marui and Kirihara stuffed sundae after sundae into their mouths, looking for all the world like overgrown hamsters, albeit jacket-clothed ones with red and black hair respectively. "Hey, watch it; are you sure you guys can breathe?"


"KOOOOOOLD!" Marui's eyes locked with Jackal's; despite the stinging cold of the dessert stuffed in his cheeks, he was beginning to sweat. "Wfo wheenin?"

Jackal looked over the stacked cups. "I'm afraid Akaya's one up on you at the moment."

Marui's eyes glazed over for a few minutes before it hardened into that intense concentration Jackal knew all too well. Uh oh…

On the other side of the table, Sanada had made a new discovery; apparently brown tea and green tea were never meant to be mixed. He pushed himself up from the table, and everyone froze; even Marui and Kirihara. (Which wasn't a pretty sight, considering they had strawberry and chocolate dripping down their lips.)

"I need hot water."

The sound of food dropping simultaneously predicted foreboding as the fukubuchou strode over to the front counter and got into line. They stared at Sanada for a bit.

"Should we?..."

"I highly advise against interfering. It will be better to letGenichirou handle this on his own."

Yanagi's word was pretty much law, so the Rikkai regulars silently wished the cashier on duty good luck before returning to their own activities.

"By the way, Kuwabara…perhaps it'd be best for you to…go and get more sundaes to restock Marui's and Kirihara's match, ne?"

Jackal caught Yanagi's eye and groaned internally. What did he do wrong to deserve this?

Nodding morosely, he got up and stood in line behind Sanada.


The lady at the counter beamed at Sanada. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I-"

"I would like some hot water. Please."

She blinked at the stern face towering above her. "O-kay…will that be all?"

A brief nod. She filled a cup full of hot, steaming water and brought it back to him. "So that is all-"

"May I see what type of tea you serve to customers?"

"…I'm sorry, could you repeat that again?"

Behind his fukubuchou's solid figure, Jackal resisted the urge to facepalm. Sanada calmly placed his tea on the counter and gestured minutely at it. "Please, feel free to have a look."

The cashier peered into the cup and bit her lower lip. "Well, uh, sir, I'm sure our tea isn't quite that…murky shade…"

"I'm aware of that. But considering that I had to add green tea to your establishment's choice of tea only serves to prove that this place provides inadequate tea for the customers."

"Excuse me?-"


Sanada paused mid-reply and swung to face the door as a figure entered, silhouetted against the light as it shone around him like an aura of divine serenity.

Jackal sighed in relief as Sanada uttered the name of the person aloud. "Seiichi."

Yukimura walked up to the counter as people stared at him with awed eyes. The radio's speakers suddenly played Handel's Messiah and Niou dropped a fry.

Smiling gently as he approached the counter, Yukimura placed a firm hand on Sanada's shoulders. "Here, Genichirou, I brought this."

Taking the Thermos Seiichi offered to him, Sanada uncapped it, allowing a fragrant scent to waft through the air. Sencha. A small smile crossed his face for the first time that morning.

Yukimura then turned his attention to the cashier, looking more than a little confused and bedazzled by the gentle smile flashed in her direction. "I would like to place an order for apple pie, please?"

"Yukimura-buchou," Jackal muttered quietly but fervently, "that was brilliant timing."

Yukimura smiled calmly. "I'm sorry I couldn't have gotten here earlier."

As the three of them walked back towards their table, Yanagi looked up. "Ah, Seiichi. The bus was late?"

"It broke down mid-trip." Yukimura slid into the small booth next to Sanada, who was savoring his tea, before glancing in the direction of Marui. "What happened to him?"

"Brain freeze. He won't be happy to know that Kirihara won, when he wakes up."

Yukimura's smile didn't waver. "And Kirihara?"

"In the bathroom. I believe the top half of his mouth went numb."

"Ah. Very nice structure, by the way, Niou."

"Thank you, Yukimura." Both Yagyuu and Niou replied in unison, grinning simultaneously.

And thus, peace reigned in the presence of Yukimura and everyone was happy.

That is, until Kirihara came back from the bathroom and face-planted right into the Tokyo Tower, but that's a different story.


A/N: Sencha is a type of green tea.