"What are you so happy about?" the brunette asked, eyebrow cocked, slight smirk on his face.

"Oh, uhh, nothin', Clyde! I'm just writing to my girlfriend, is all." The blonde boy stuttered cheerily, continuing to scrawl the messy note on a piece of crisp, new paper taken straight from the pack he had just bought at the drugstore.

Looking over the boy's shoulder, he snorted and shook his head. The rounded chickenscratch writing was broken up by intermittent smudgy hearts, punctuating the words like some kind of new grammar.

"She loves me, ya know. I write to her all the time. Nobody at school seems to care though, but that's okay," Butters chirped, tone pleasantly matter-of-fact. "As long as I keep writing, we'll be able to meet one day."

"Another long-distance girl, then?" Clyde asked, shaking his head. He didn't have the heart to speak his thoughts. In all the years he had known him, the awkward little Melvin had never managed to find a girl in his own town. He just shook his head, listening to him chatter, the blithe, stuttering voice quickly grating. It was obvious as to why he had to seek affections elsewhere.

"Yeah, she lives far away. I can't wait to meet her though, I know it'll be love at first sight when we do." He sighed dreamily, watery blue eyes staring off at something Clyde couldn't see. "Someday, someday, ya know? She won't wanna leave my side ever, and we'll have picnics and stay up late and talk about all the stuff we have in common."

Clyde could almost hear him continue. She won't get mad at me for how I am and won't ever call me names. She'll love me forever and ever and ever. He sighed, pity and a vague disgust welling up in him. His thoughts were cut short as he heard the gentle repetitive clicks of a stamp ripping free, and watched as the boy set down the envelope, but then changed his mind, holding it to his face as though willing some sort of affection into the envelope.

"Gotta remember to mail this. I hope she gets it." He set it down and stroked it with care. "I hope she gets it."

With that, Clyde watched as the boy scooted back from his kitchen table. "We can, uh, go play Nintendo if you want, now that we're done with the project, uh, Clyde."

Clyde shook his head. "I've just got to finish these last few sentences and I'll be up. You go on without me, you've helped with the project enough." He cringed a bit at the harshness in his voice, but Butters didn't seem to notice. Sighing a little, he looked down at the letter, wondering where it was addressed to.


There was nothing on the envelope but a stamp in the corner and opposite it, a carefully written "Leopold Stotch" with the return address printed below it. No mailing address.

"Butters, you forgot…" Clyde trailed off, eyebrows furrowed.

"I hope she gets it," Butters said, quiet but fully aware, and gave him an optimistic, if not sad glance.

An intense pity washed over Clyde as he tried to coax some sympathetic words from his throat, but the blonde had already turned and was bounding up the stairs to his bedroom.

Glancing back down at the letter, Clyde exhaled slowly and smiled a little bit.

He hoped she got it, too.