Hey guys, remember me? I think it's been a little more than two years since I started 'Fire and Ice', and I think it's right about the time to start revising it.
I've developed a lot in the past two years, and 'Fire and Ice', one of my less… intelligent stories, is a skeleton in my closet, so to speak.
I've been wanting to do this for a while, and I feel like it's the right time to finish this thing off.
So I was wondering if you guys were interested in an edit? The story's a little bit different, and probably longer. I'm working to build the relationship with Hiei and Shimo (okay, side note, I seriously hate her name. Vote on whether or not you want me to change it, please?), as well as Shimo and everybody else. They're obviously all OOC, which annoys the crap outta me, so that's gonna change for sure, too.
Also, I'm de-Sue-ing Shimo the best I can, which is hard. Basically, I'm making her more a) impulsive b) un-intelligent c) abrasive. Basically, a little more like Yusuke. I'm working on making her less likable by people around her, and them a lot less trusting of her.
I want to expand on her relationship with Yusuke, who I randomly made a 'brother figure' in the original version. I still like that idea, because the new Shimo is similar to him in a lot of ways.
Also, I want to make the plot more solid. It's kind of all over the place in the original version, and I'm thinking I should make the idea of Shimo trying to return Yukina to the glacier the main idea.
I reeeally want to make it first person, because I find it easier to keep people in character like that. For those of you who don't know what that means (and I sincerely hope you guys do), first person is when the narrator is the main character (in this case, Shimo).
Okay, so everybody give me your feedback. I'll be doing this on my own, whether or not you guys care, but I prolly won't bother posting it unless anybody wants to see it. REVIEW! Give me more things to change, long/short chapters, plot points, character ideas, whatever. I'd love to hear it.
Shimo's new names:
1. Leave it as Shimo
2. Yuki (means snow, wheeee)
3. Samui (I just love the sound of that one)
4. Just 'Hana' by itself
5. Koori (means ice)