Title: Boring System

Author: comeandgetmebabe


Summary: Roxas needed a math tutor. Axel needed more cash and to get away from his stressed out boyfriend. They both found something completely different. AxelxRoxas, SaïxxAxel, SoraxRiku, maybe more later on.


The first chapter is going to be really OOC, but I apologize profusely for that and am going to try to make the next few chappies IN character, dammit!

This story has curses, yeah? So, like, calm down.

I don't really know how I came up with this one. I kind of made Roxas an idiot, at math at least. He's good at everything else, but not math. Trust me, I know exactly how he feels. I didn't need to review negatives or anything, but I did need help with algebra. Unfortunately, I was too stubborn to tell my parents this until, like, a week before finals last year, so it was kind of futile. BUT I PASSED!

The word "faggot" will be used. Please don't get offended, Saïx is one crazy motherfucker.

That's basically it. The city will remain unnamed until I actually see reason to, you know, name it.



"Where are you going?"

"I told you, I'm tutoring some dumbass high school kid."

"Oh yes. In math."


"Which you failed."



"Can you hand me my boot? I think it's under the bed."

Saïx reached under the bed that Axel had so recently vacated and threw the boot with such force that Axel had to duck before it hit the wall with an audible bang. Axel stood up, bewildered, staring blankly at the mark left on the wall from where the heel had hit. "Jesus, Saïx, what the fuck was that for?"

"You don't know the first thing about math! Why the fuck are you leaving!"

Axel sighed, picked up his boot and sat at the edge of the bed to put it on. Now fully dressed, he leaned back and lay down across the bed and Saïx's legs, which were still under the covers. "I feel bad," he said, hoping his voice sounded seductive and truthful at the same time. "You're the one who works while I just sit at home and burn stuff. It's my turn to bring home some money."

"How much are you going to make?" Saïx sneered, his amber eyes boring into Axel's green ones. "This some rich kid who's parents are just paying you to tell him how to add for an hour so he'll get out of their hair? Or is this just out of the goodness of your heart?"

"Probably the first one," said Axel blandly, turning on his stomach and propping his face on his left fist, his feet hanging off the edge of the bed so Saïx wouldn't yell at him to stop getting dirt on their bed. "But whatever it takes to bring in money." He traced a pattern on Saïx's bare chest, fingers dancing their way down to the downy hairs that just disappeared below the black covers. Axel grinned up at Saïx. "You're kinda sticky."

"Of course I am, we just had sex," muttered Saïx, glaring at Axel like he was an idiot. That was how he always looked at him: like he was an idiot, an insect, or something Saïx just couldn't understand, as if he was thinking You look so familiar, but I can't for the life of me figure out where you came from. Those were the looks that made Axel, with increasing frequency, wonder why he even stayed with Saïx anymore. But sometimes, when he wasn't stressed or taking out his frustration with his job on Axel, which was always, Saïx would do something to remind him; take him out for dinner at a place Axel wanted to go to, buy him a new lighter, give him tickets to a concert that Demyx couldn't get tickets to, things like that. But then, of course, he would sit through dinner like it was pure torture (because Saïx couldn't comprehend how awesome theme restaurants were), or he would get angry when the apartment started smelling like smoke, and when Axel came home from the concerts looking a little too happy, Saïx would grab his wrist and bend it behind his back, hissing that Axel better not have cheated on him with that fucking hippie faggot Dem-whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is.

Sometimes Axel thought he just stayed with Saïx for his apartment.

It was the penthouse apartment in a building called Twilights View and it took up a whole floor. A laundry room, three bedrooms (only one of which was actually used, unless Saïx kicked Axel out of their room in a fit of rage—but that hadn't happened in a long time), a fully equipped kitchen, a living room, a T.V. room, a game room, Saïx's office, a dining room, two bathrooms (one connected to the master bedroom with a Jacuzzi bath that got a lot of use when they first moved in), a room for Axel to burn stuff in and listen to music loudly (this room now had a bookshelf filled with math books and a computer directly connected to Sparknotes) and a foyer, not to mention that the building was equipped with a gym that had an indoor poor that Axel strayed away from. He didn't like cold water all that much, unless he was drinking it.

Axel leaned foreword and blew on Saïx's still sticky navel, making the older man shiver against his will. That was the other reason Axel was still with Saïx: sex was great. And sometimes, when they did it during the day, Saïx would act like he did when he and Axel first met—almost kind.

"What, do you want to do it again?" asked Saïx, smirking.

"You know it. But, alas, work calls," he tried not to smirk back at his boyfriend when he saw the irritated look on Saïx's face, knowing that would only make him more angry. "But maybe when I get back…"

"I'll be working," Saïx said flatly, "Xemnas wants to merge with Heartless Inc. so I'll be working all week. And weekend."

Axel faltered. "Oh."

"I need to go to my office," Saïx pushed Axel, rather roughly, off of him, stood and stretched longer than necessary, as if to say "See this body? This is what you're missing," which was something Axel had said to Saïx one morning when the amber eyed man was leaving for a business trip.

Axel stood and went to the closet, grabbing his black overcoat. "Yeah, I should probably be going."

"Order something for yourself when you get back," said Saïx, not looking at him as he pulled clothes on, "I won't be eating tonight."

"Fine," said Axel, irritation finally entering his voice. "I see you later. Don't kill yourself with fucking work."

"Don't kill yourself with fucking MATH!" yelled Saïx as Axel walked out the door.


Roxas sighed and glared down at his math book with hatred in his eyes. He felt more loathing for his math teacher, Mr. Leonhart, whose first name was Leon, which was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. Then again, he and his twin brother, Sora (who got all A's in math but refused to tutor him because it meant time away from Riiikkkuuu) had the same name, only his was with an 'x' and the letters were messed up.

Roxas sighed again and laid his head down on his math book. He must look like an idiot, sitting in the middle of a coffee shop, waiting for his freaking math tutor. Only a few tables away sat Sora and his boyfriend, Riku, who, while not exactly drawing attention to themselves, needed to stop rubbing their feet up each other's legs or else Roxas was going to come over there and rip their legs OFF.

Roxas, while having finally gotten used to Sora's…alternative lifestyle, still couldn't comprehend why Sora liked guys. He still felt a little guilty that, when Sora first came out to him, he had screamed like a little girl and slammed the door to his room, locking Sora out. Unfortunately, they happened to share a room, so that night going to sleep was a little awkward.

"Roxas, where's your tutor?" Riku called over. Roxas sighed. He didn't really like Riku, but he preferred Sora to go out with Riku than, say, Seifer. Riku and Sora had started off as best friends, and when Sora finally admitted he was gay, the story went, Riku had nearly suffocated him from the kiss he slammed into the brunets' mouth.

"If I knew, I'd tell you," Roxas called back, "You guys don't have to wait here with me."

"We're not waiting with you, we're on a date," said Sora, giggling.

"Oh God, couldn't have gone somewhere else?" moaned Roxas, burying his face in his hands.

"We like to see you suffer," said Riku with a mean smile. Riku had never gotten over the whole lock-my-gay-brother-out-of-our-room thing.

Roxas was just about to snarl out an answer when the bells on the door to the coffee shop tinkled and a tall, red-haired, impossibly gorgeous man walked in. His green eyes surveyed the coffee shop with mild interest, and then landed on the math book sitting in front of Roxas. He grinned and sauntered over. How many men could saunter and get away with it, Roxas didn't know, but this guy was one of them. The red head sat down in front of him. Roxas had to stop himself from staring. He was sure he was totally and completely straight, but this guy…was stunning.

"You must be Roxas," said the red-head, holding out a hand, which Roxas shook. "I'm Axel. Got it memorized?" he looked at Roxas quizzically, giving him a moment to memorize his name, then smiled, "I think I'm supposed to be teaching you math today?"

"Y-yeah," said Roxas, looking down at his book.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, which finally ended when Axel gave a slight cough and said, "So do you have any specific problems you, y'know, need help with?"

"Oh! Um, yeah, I just…this sounds really stupid, but I just can't get the FOIL method. You know, with algebra?"

"Oh, yeah, I know that," Axel lied. "Listen, do you mind if I get some coffee and a muffin or something? I didn't have lunch."

"No, not at all. Take your time!" said Roxas, smiling in a way that he hoped was bright. Axel gave a little half smile back and stood to go get his food. Roxas couldn't help but let his eyes follow the redhead.

Roxas glanced at Sora and Riku, who were looking from him to Axel. Sora's eyes were wide and he leaned across the table to whisper something to Riku that Roxas couldn't hear. Riku laughed loudly, which earned him a smack on the arm from Sora. Roxas gulped.

Sora never hit Riku unless Riku made fun of Roxas or Kairi or Namine. They must be talking about him


"FuckfuckfuckfuckgimmeamediumcupofblackcoffeepleaseandachocolatemuffinfuckfuckfuckwhattheFUCKistheFOILmethod!" mumbled Axel, standing at the counter. He was still searching his mind for the FOIL method, seriously rethinking this whole "Earn money and get out of Saïx's way" plan when he noticed the girl working at the counter was still standing there looking at him weird. "What? Where's my coffee?" he snapped.

"You want…a medium?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yes, I want a medium black coffee and a muffin, what are you waiting for?"

"We don't serve medium's."

Axel blinked. "What?"

"It's tall, grande and venti. We don't have mediums."

"Then give me a whatever the stupid equivalent to a medium IS," Axel snarled between clenched teeth.

"A grande?"

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE, JUST GIVE ME SOME DAMN COFFEE!" Axel yelled, drawing attention from the obviously gay couple sitting a few tables away from Roxas. He glared at them in a way that he hoped looked like Saïx's glare. It just caused the little brunet one to whisper to his platinum blond (boy?)friend.

The girl gave him his coffee and a muffin, which Axel paid for with crumbled up bills, the worst way to pay for anything, and stalked back to Roxas.

"The service here sucks," he muttered. Roxas stared at him.

"Um…is this your first time tutoring?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing," said Roxas too quickly. "You just…don't really look like the kind of person who tutors."

"I don't look like much of anything. So, the FOIL method. What does your book say about it?"

For the next few hours, Axel tried to teach Roxas the FOIL method, but it was pointless; the kid just did not understand.

"Alright, look. You have a binomial, right?"

"Yeah…" said Roxas, biting on the easer of his pencil in an oh-so-cute way.

"So, it's First, Outer, Inner, then Last. So you multiply the first number in the first parenthesis by the first number in the second parenthesis, right?"

"Yeah..." murmured Roxas, looking at his textbook with such hopelessness Axel kind of felt bad for him.

"So then you do that for the outer numbers and the inner numbers and the last numbers, and then you add like terms, so the numbers ending with 'x' get added together, unless one of them is negative, in which case they're subtracted, and then—"

"ARGH I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL!" yelled Roxas in despair, banging his head on the table. "I don't even REMEMBER negative numbers!"

"Jesus, kid, what'd you do over the summer, get your memories erased? This isn't rocket science."

"Shut up!"

Axel laughed. "Don't get upset, Roxas. Alright, you wanna do a review of negative numbers and stuff and then…" he flipped out his cell phone (complete with hot-rod fire stickers on the sides) and checked the time. "Actually, that's all we'll have time for. So, we can look over negatives, and then we'll schedule another meeting and until then, you review like a madman, got it memorized?"

"Yeah…um…when's good for you?" Christ, no kid could be this shy. Then again, Axel though, inwardly smirking, I am hot.

"Anytime, man. How about Wednesday, when your school ends?"

"Yeah, that'd be good," Roxas laughed and Axel couldn't help but notice how cute his smiling face was, "How sad is that, I need to meet with you two times a week."

"Monday's and Wednesday's aren't that bad," said Axel, smiling, "I had a friend in high school who needed a tutor everyday and didn't get it at all. But that was for chem. And no one understands chem."

"Except chemists."

"Except chemists."

Roxas grinned, and then looked away, "Sorry I suck so much at math."

"Hey, man, that's why I'm here!" Axel gave him a manly punch on the shoulder, "It's good you're bad at math, I need cash." He then realized what he just said and blanched, "Oh shit, I mean—"

"It's alright!" laughed Roxas, "I'll see you Wednesday. But let's not meet here."

"Yeah, I think the coffee girl hates me."

"Um…there's a public library right next to my school, Destiny High?"

"On Traverse and Twilight? The one right down the road from Twilights View?"

"Yeah. Is that too far for you to get to?"

"No, man, I live in Twilights View. So, meet there at like…three?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed Roxas, looking entirely too excited, "that's be great!"

"See you then, Roxas," Axel said, smiling once more, "but now let's work on negative numbers."

Roxas smile was wiped from his face. "Oh man…"

Axel couldn't help but laugh. This kid was too cute.


"I don't like him."

"Ugh, you don't like anyone, Riku," said Roxas as the three boys walked back to Sora and Roxas's house.

"No, Roxas, I'm with Riku. There's something about that guy that I really don't like. Although, he is cute…" Sora pondered this last thought, sidestepping a little girl and her dog.

"Ugh, you freaking gay…he's not cute, he's a math tutor."

"Who looks like he should be in a rock band!" Sora teased.

"Yeah, Straight Man, superhero of hetero justice, we saw the way you stared at his ass when he went to get coffee," Riku snickered.

"I was NOT staring at his ass! Come on, don't you always turn to look when you see someone who looks kinda…different?"

As if on cue, all three of them turned and walked backwards to stare at a group of cross dressers who were having a sidewalk parade, asking for more money for more nylon. They had signs and everything strapped around their gaudy dresses.

"Anyway, regardless of Roxas's love of RedHead's ass, that guy seems a little…intense," said Riku, "I mean, he yelled at the coffee girl."

"You yelled at the drive through girl at Wendy's," sneered Roxas as they came to the apartment building. The doorman nodded and the boys entered Destiny Apartments, going up to the sixth floor to the twins' apartment.

"Well, yeah, but she didn't give me a spoon for my Frosty…" muttered Riku, knowing he'd been defeated.

"But, the way he looked at us," said Sora as the elevator climbed higher, "he looked like he wanted to kill us."

"Have you two seen yourselves together? I wanna kill you too sometimes. Sora, do you have the key?"

"Yeah, hold on. You gotta start bringing yours with you, Roxas." Sora opened the door and was completely ignored as Roxas threw his books on the coffee table, thumping on the couch and snapping the television on."

"I dunno…" said Riku, sitting down next to Roxas and pulling Sora onto his lap, much to Roxas's disgust. "There's just something about that guy I don't trust…"

"He's a math tutor!" groaned Roxas, exasperated, "What's he gonna do, mix up trig for me on purpose or something!"

Sora and Riku, however, weren't listening. They apparently hadn't filled their "suck each other's faces like starving animals" quota for the day.

"Ugh, just clean up with you're done…" muttered Roxas, getting up and going to his room. He laid down on his bottom bunk and gazed out the window, at the city.

"I wasn't staring at his ass…" he murmured, looking at the looming tower that was Twilight's View. He rolled over and smiled to himself, thinking of red hair and green eyes and kind but dangerous smiles. "But I wouldn't mind seeing him again."

Roxas, realizing what he just said, picked up a hardcover book he'd left lying on the floor and banged his head with it. "What the FUCK, Roxas! You're the normal one! You don't like guys!"

"DE-NILE AIN'T JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT!" Riku and Sora yelled from the other room, then, from the sound of it, collapsed on top of each other in a fit of giggles.


The "denial" line equals the best thing to say EVER.

So, Saïx is, like, totally out of his mind, but I'm ignoring the fact that they, like, hate each other in the game. Everyone who pairs Saïx with Axel seems to use needles at some point, so I'm straying away from that.

Sorry for the overuse of the word 'fuck.' Except I'm kind of not, so it'll be used throughout the whole story. YAY!

I know exactly how Axel feels in the coffee shop (two extra vocab points for the people who actually care to guess what coffee shop they were in. HINT: The CEO of this coffee shop has the face you see before you die).

That's all the stupid comments I have to say for now. Please, tell me what you think. I probably didn't get all the grammar, but I tried. So, sorry. I beg you for constructive criticism and…urgh…stuff like that. Or just happy reviews of happiness. You know how it is.

Thanks for reading!