'Modern Mallard' advised starlit skies and a breathtaking moon illuminating the pair.

All she had were the damaged cinema lights and the occasional laser blast flashing by.

'Duck of tomorrow' recommended a silent sea and a sandy coast, with a carefree wind surrounding you.

All there was were rows upon rows of mole-eaten seats, and a half-working air conditioner.

'Fashion Feather' saw dramatic or tranquil music as a must.

The screams of fleeing villagers and constant zapping due to the disintegration process could hardly be considered a replacement.

The 'Gossip Corner' painted an image of a muscular, brave, unflappable male – one who could easily be the star of an action movie.

All that stood before her was the cute and resourceful Chicken Little.

'Girl Power' told her to become a model; attract attention at all costs and abuse it.

All she was – a small gray duckling.

What did the press know about kissing anyway.