Dirty Little Secret: Chapter One


Don't own them, never will. Unless Square wants to share….Please?

PS. This is Yaoi. If you don't like it, don't read it!

I Light a Candle

In the Garden Of Love

To Blind The Angels

Looking Down from Above

Bon Jovi, "Dirty Little Secret"


Rivals. Ha. If only people actually knew what went on between me and Puberty Boy before the war, they would know how much more than rivals we really were. And unfortunately, it was unable to continue for so many different reasons. I will say that I miss him, but I wouldn't say that I am desperate to get him back. That will never happen. He has moved on. But I suppose to tell a story properly, you have to start from the beginning.

A smirk on my face and my head held high, I walk down the hallway with complete confidence that if I didn't have, I wouldn't be me. I'm celebrating my fuckin' 16th birthday for Hyne's sake. And the only thing that can complete this day complete is a spar from the only person in the Garden who is worth the time it takes to lift my blade. I could care less that it's almost curfew, I'm gonna let him know what I want and when I want it. As I travel closer and closer to his room, almost lost in my own little world, I think off all the things being 16 means. No more junior cadets in my classes, allowed to spar outside of Garden, allowed attempting the SeeD exam. Best of all, I am allowed out one whole half hour later for curfew. The corridors are relatively quiet for this time of night, due to the fact that it's the middle of the solstice break and most of the other cadets, junior class men and non essential SeeDs have headed to their homes for the break. As for me, I have no home other than Garden, just like the other remaining people. As much as Garden is a private military academy that snobs like to send their kids to, it's a refuge for us orphans, a place to put down roots. But most of all, it's a place that the government can send us after we get too old for people to adopt us. This is exactly why I am here.

My ever present smirk is plastered on my face, and I am as smug as always. I know I am hot, and I want every one else to see that too. The only difference in my stride from any other day in day to day Garden life is the fact that I am not being flanked by my posse. Having returned to Raijin's parents place in Dollet for the solstice break, I actually like the quietness that doesn't normally accompany them. And it is through this silence that I hear the muffled voices coming from the closed off common room.

"Come on! There ain't anyone else here. No one will hear ya." I recognize the voice as a SeeD cadet a year ahead of me, not really important enough for me to care about what his name is. I've had a couple of run-ins with him, so you think I would care, but when I am victorious each time, it doesn't really matter to me.

"For Hyne's sake, Pussyheart. Afraid that your boyfriend will find you?" the voice caused my ears to perk up. No one but me is allowed to insult him like that. Feeling my anger rising, I change my motives and turn to the closed door of the common room. Noticing it is locked, I use my new found authority to override the lock code and the door slides open to a sight that causes my jaw to drop immediately.

There was my favourite spar partner kneeling on the floor in front of this guy, his arms bound behind him, eye-level with this kid's cock. Squall's left eye was swollen, most likely going to blacken, and his lower lip was split, dry blood colouring the lightly tinted lips.

"Almasy? What the fuck?" the cadet cursed stuffing himself back into his uniform pants and zipping up. I felt a new range of hate evolve in me, and for once it wasn't directed to Squall or the world in general. It was all centered on this prick in front of me.

"Leave him alone." I growl, laced with malice.

This causes the bastard to grin at me, as he placed a hand on Squall's shoulder. "Why? Is he your little whore? I hear he makes the absolutely cutest noises during sex." And as if to prove a point, he shoves Squall forcibly to the ground.

"Nah, just figured that you wouldn't want to be thrown out of Garden." I shrug, trying to regain the control that I have lost before I get all of us in trouble.

"Thrown out? Why the fuck would I get thrown out?" Judging by the vein in his forehead that was growing thicker and bulging more with each passing second, I'd say he was starting to get a little bit pissed off.

I let out a low chuckle. "You're telling me that you forget Line 68, Paragraph 13 of the SeeD rules and regulations? That's convenient."

You can almost hear the cliché gears turning as his pathetic mind tries to mentally go over the rule book we are all suppose to have memorized. With the look of utter concentration on his face, I can tell that someone hasn't been keeping up with his studies.

"Library books shall not, under any circumstances leave Garden property?" he questions, still unsure about his answer.

To my surprise, it is Squall who firsts laughs at this cadet's stupidity. Mind you, it is only a few breaths that might possibly be a laugh, but he is the first one to make a sound.

"Line 68, Paragraph 13: Any SeeD, SeeD cadet or Junior Cadet cause in the act of sexual promiscuity will be immediately discharged, no matter their rank, level or status." the stoic brunet said, almost with a hint of pleasure in his voice.

The cadet looked stunned at this gem of information, but at the same time, a look of ironic pleasure passed over his features, as if this was just what he wanted to have happen.

"And what are you going to do about it, Almasy? The headmaster would never believe a tale of yours, especially if it involves you rescuing Pussyheart here. Everyone knows how much you hate each other. You have no credibility." He grinned a Cheshire cat grin, looking very happy with himself. Too bad I was about to seriously burst his bubble.

This caused me to chuckle deeply. "So I guess you never got the message about who would be taking over from Joni as the head of the Disciplinary Committee, then did you?" The look on this prick's face told me everything that I needed to know. All I was waiting for was for it to sink completely into his thick skull.

"Is the Headmaster on crack or something? Making you head of the Disciplinary Committee?"

I only smirk. "What the Headmaster does in his free time is none of your concern. Now, unless you want to be packing your bags tonight, I'd get the fuck out of here right now." I glare at him and before you could even say Gripping Geezards, he is running out of the room with his tail between his legs, leaving only myself and the cold brunet in the room.

Said brunet has managed to get to his knees during all the commotion and I can see him breathing heavily. Fuck, that prick has done a number on him; even I show a little more mercy than that. Then I notice the gentle swaying of his body, looking as if he was about to fall right back over. I guess the ice princess really does need my help.

"Up you go." I grunt, placing a hand under each arm, and pulling him to his feet. Knowing that he was still swaying, I cast a cura spell on him. His eyes go wide in realization of what I just did, but I think it might be more in relief than anything. Sure that he can stand on his own now; I reach down and pull a switch blade out of my boot. I quickly use it to cut the scarf that his arms were bound with, letting the piece of fabric float to the ground as I replace the switchblade in my boot. Squall lets out a sigh of relief as he rubs his raw, red wrists.

"Thanks." He whispers, not making eye contact. With his head tipped forward, his chocolate hair falls into his eyes and makes him look more innocent then I have ever seen him before.

"You okay?" I ask, the uncomfortable atmosphere of the situation finally hitting me.

"You're probably disgusted with me at the moment." I was thoroughly surprised at this comment. Obviously there was something about him that was completely off today, he's never acted like this around me before.

Letting out a sigh, I grab the back of his leather jacket, and drag him down the hall, glad for the fact that, number one, everyone was home on break and no one would see us. The other reason I was glad for was that everyone thought that I would use my position as head of the disciplinary committee against Squall, and boy was that coming in handy right now. Finally breaking out of my thoughts, with a closing wisecrack that if I did that too often, I'd end up like Squall, I realized that we were standing in front of my dorm room.

With a growl, I punch in my access code, the mechanical door sliding open to give us entrance. All I could think was that I am so glad that my roommate is gone.

"Um, I should go." Squall whispered, then turned to leave.

"I don't think so, ice princess." I smirk, then grabbing the back of his jacket; I shove him into my bedroom. This earns me a serious Leonheart death by icicles glare. And it might have worked on me, if it weren't for the fact that I have been getting one everyday of my life as long as I could remember. "Easy, Squally-boy. I just brought you here to fill out an official complaint form against whoever that prick was." If it was possible, the glare only became more intense.

"It's Adam Mekeal. And….Whatever." he crossed his arms over his chest, then leaned against the wall, still unable to meet my gaze.

"You don't honestly want to let him get away with this?" I was a bit surprised at this thought. Squall was not one to let anyone push him around. And I should know. "You gotta be kidding." And as the words left my mouth, a mechanical whirling began, and every light in my room went out. Not even the lights that normally flood into my room were there anymore. The only light was a very pale light, enough to make it not completely black, from the moon reflecting off of the metallic Garden.

Squall glared at the door, knowing all to well that if the power had failed, there was a big chance that he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. The brunet stepped on the sensor pad, and when the door gave no response, he let out a reluctant sigh and turned to the keypad. I stretch out on my small bed with a smirk. After he punched several numbers into the unresponsive keypad, he turned around.

"Give it up, Squall-boy. Face it, you are stuck here with me until they come around with the emergency keys. You may as well make yourself comfy." I still have the smirk on my face as I receive yet another sharp glare. With that, he slid down the door, to sit himself on top of the floor sensor. Probably so he can bolt the exact moment when the power comes back on. And I know sure as hell that he won't be offering any conversation.

After only a few minutes, I get bored of sitting in the dark and remember something. I get off the bed, causing the springs to squeak and Squall to look over at me.

"What are you doing?" the ice princess asked me.

"Pardon me if I don't want to sit in the fuckin' dark anymore. I'm just gonna light a candle." I growl, before pulling a couple of plain white pillar candles out of my night stand. With a mumbled fire spell, the wicks are lit, creating a soft glow and allowing me to see my guest in full. His arms are wrapped around his bent knees and he is holding on for dear life. I inwardly smirk that he feels this uncomfortable around me, even though we are both unarmed and I am not even that close to him.

"Don't worry, Squally. I've blinded the Angels, so they won't come down to rape you. You know that's what they do when the power goes out." I can't help tease him no matter the situation.

"Can it, Almasy." He spits out, obviously more than a little pissed off at our predicament. "Why did you want me here in the first place?"

His question takes me a little off guard. I half wasn't expecting him to be so outright with his questions, but on the other hand, when is Squall anything but outright, when he talks that is. I shouldn't have expected anything less. I take a seat at my desk, straddling the chair and looking at him. I let out a deep sigh before starting.

"First of all, I of all people know that you are not weak. Fuck, I have the scars to prove it. Why the fuck were you letting a pathetic asshole like Adam Mekeal dominate you like that?" I know it sounds a lot harsher than I meant it to, but I was trying to find out all the answers that I wanted.

These comments only earn me glares, not a single word passing through the brunet's still swollen lip.

"Are you trying to tell me that you wanted it?" my mind has started to jump to conclusions once again, filling in the blanks that the boy in front of me refuses to offer answers for.

For some reason, the ever present glare disappears from his features momentarily. Unfortunately, I know that means I have come a little too close to home.

"Don't pretend like you know anything about something you know absolutely nothing about." Definitely hit the nail on the head, and the glare is renewed ten fold.

I lean my head forward as I try to sort out some of my thoughts. How do I approach this subject? So I do what I seem to be known for. I act with little thought put in first.

"So, are you just curious, or do you actually think you are gay, or bi?" I mentally want to kick myself for that little remark.

Of all the reactions that I thought would come from the stoic brunet, the one I receive was the only one that I would not have expected in a thousand years.

He blushed, followed by a death glare. Of course the blush only lasted for a moment, but it was there just long enough for me to catch it. And it was the reaction that caused me to think. Squall Leonheart actually blushed. I really must have struck a nerve.

"Why do you even care, Almasy? Even if I did confirm it, or deny it, you would only use it against me." His tone startled me more than I could ever imagine.

There was definitely something that he wasn't telling me, and the way that things were going here tonight, I doubt the brunet is going to divulge any more information to me. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I never took interest in caring about anyone other than myself, but for some reason, seeing him so vulnerable, I feel I need to do something about it. To see someone so strong reduced to the state he was in is difficult for anyone to see.

"You know, for someone who just got his ass saved from being raped, you sure are acting like a cold bastard. I did you a favour back there, and I'm not asking for any repayment. Maybe a thank you, but you don't owe me anything." Once again, my brain is experiencing lag from my mouth. Even I can't believe the verbal bowel moments that I am capable of.

"Fine. Thank you so very much for ruining my life." He glares at me with renewed hatred. I just couldn't believe it. This prick acts as if everything that happened tonight is completely my fault.

"Ruined? What the fuck are you talking about? If I hadn't come in when I did, you'd be walking with a limp for the next week. And you're telling me that I ruined you life?" I rise to my feet, effectively knocking the chair out of the way. I am feeling a little more than pissed off, knowing that my temper will rear it's ugly head soon enough.

And true to his nature, Squall raises to his feet to meet my challenge.

"Fuck off, Almasy. You know as well as I do, that come daybreak tomorrow, everyone in Garden will know that I like cock and I need you to save me. If that isn't my life being fucked over and ruined, I don't know what is." The look in his eyes was one that I wouldn't soon forget. Fear, hate, sadness, hurt. On top of all that, there was one more thing in those stormy grey eyes that will remain in my mind forever. Tears were beginning to form at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over at the slightest movement.

So many things are going through my head right now. My biggest rival is standing here in front of me, about to cry for Hyne's sake, but at the same time he is showing more strength and courage than I could ever hope to possess. That's when the first revelation hits me. I envy him. To be able to hold so much inside can't be good for you in anyway, shape or form, and when you seem to hurt the most, to hold back the tears. Even in all the battles that we have fought over the years, I have never once seen him cry. And that's when the second revelation of the night. He's not really just a rival to me. He is a friend to me, even if I may not be considered a friend to him, he is definitely one to me. We've known each other practically our whole lives; I honestly can't remember a time in my life that he wasn't right there with me. Sure I have Fuu and Rai, but sparring isn't nearly as fun when your life or certain body parts aren't in mortal danger. Even today, I was more interested in having a fight with Squall on my birthday then going in Dollet to spend the night partying with them.

But some friend I am. I've, as he put it, ruined his life. Here he is standing in front of me, giving the ice goddess herself a run for her money, and he is blaming me for the ruining of his life, when in reality, I have. I won't even try to deny it. But what can I do to rectify my mistakes? It's all too obvious that he hates me and will never think of me as anything other than the bastard that fucked up his life.

Feeling more than a little ashamed of myself, I once again look into his face, only to witness one more oddity in this altogether strange night. A tear was falling down his cheek. I guess, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, even and ice princess such as Squall has no control over his emotions.

Without realizing what I am doing, I reach a hand out and softly run my gloved finger up his pale cheek, catching the small bead of moisture on my fingertip. I can feel the muscles in his cheek go tense as my hand strokes over the pale flesh. Before I could say or do anything, Squall turned around and began to try and leave my room, and only then does he remember than that power still has not come back on.

"Squall…" My voice was barely above a whisper as I reach out to grab his shoulder.

"Don't." The quiet force in his voice causes me to stop. "I honestly don't care that you know I'm gay. But I don't need you pity." His words cause so many things to go through my mind. Still working on its own accord, my mouth blurts out words with no consulting from my brain.

"You've got to learn the difference between pity and comfort. Because right now it seems that you could use a friend. Since I am the close thing to one that you seem to have, I will be here fir you." I said, finally placing my hand on his shoulder and spinning the stoic lion back around to face me. The muscles I could feel under his think leather jacket were tenser than I think I have ever felt. And that includes all those times that I have shoved him into Garden walls unexpectedly.

"Friend? You think of yourself as my friend?" he growled, malice lacing his soft voice. His tone was seriously starting to piss me off.

"What else would you consider us? I believe that we've surpassed that petty rival stage, Squall. Think about it for a minute." I bit back the rage that was boiling beneath my skin and actually said this in a civil manner. I let go of him and turned to go lay down on my bed. If he wasn't going to accept the help I was offering him, why should I waste my time and energy on him?

"Seifer…" Squall was the one this time to whisper a name and reach out. I turned around to witness a look on his face, not one of hate or rage, but something completely different then his usual mask of indifference. This was a forlorn look of lost companionship. Maybe I was too quick to call our relationship friendship. I guess companionship would have been a better choice, but then again, when do I ever think?

We just kind of stood there awkwardly for the next few moments, neither of us sharing our thoughts, neither of us moving. Just staring at one another. What happened next, I don't think that either of us could have prepared for it.

"Cadet 40179, Almasy?" A voice came from behind the closed door. It was one of the faculty members who came around with the emergency keys. Took them fucking long enough, but at the same time, they came way too soon. I let out a deep sigh, pissed off at the bastards timing.

"Yes, Sir." I reply, Squall just turning to look away from me, almost as if he wanted to hide something.

"Are you alone?" the voice called again. Squall finally met my eyes.

"No, sir. Cadet 42195, Leonheart is in here. He had an issue with another cadet and was just filling out an official complaint form when the power went out." I said, as the door was manually pushed open and the strangely robed man came into sight, the candle light making him look more than a little frightening.

"Very well." The faculty member nodded as he made a couple of marks on the clipboard in his hands. "If you are finished, you may come with me and I will give you access to your dormitory." As he spoke, I can only assume that he is looking at Squall, but who can tell under those robes. "We are requesting that everyone stay in their own dormitories until the power returns."

"We just need another few moments." The voice of the brunet completely surprised me. I figured that he would have bolted at the first chance he got.

"Very well." The faculty member replied, and then glided out of my room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

I turn to face the brunet, but he is looking at the wall again.

"What the hell? I thought you would dart from here like a glacial eye from the fire cavern." I am still in shock at his actions. He mumbles something incoherent. "Speak up. I didn't catch that."

He looks at me, tension in his face. "I just wanted to say thank you." He whispers and walks right over to me. I close my eyes, and prepare for a blow to my chest or stomach.

But it never came.

Slowly, I open my eyes in confusion. I am immediately met by a pair of stormy grey eyes. What happened next was beyond me. I never knew what came over him, or possessed him to do it, but it was the last thing that I ever expected from the brunet lion. He put his hand against my chest, taking part of the black t-shirt I am wearing into his hand, before pulling me down closer to his height.

"Squall? What are you doing?" I ask, bracing myself once more for the blow that I know that I more than deserve. Before I can comprehend anything, Squall leans up close to me and with no hesitation, places his lips over my own. His hand is still clenching my shirt, and he uses it to pull me closer, adding more pressure to the joining of our lips. His free hand snakes up my back, over my shoulders, up the back of my neck, then finally comes to rest at the back of my head, This sensation is completely new to me, the surge of energy jolting through my body at a rapid pace as out closed mouth kiss continued.

Finally getting over the initial shock that Squall is indeed kissing me, I begin to respond to his lips. Soft and moist, his lips thoroughly betray their week appearance, actually quite strong and forceful. Almost as soon as I start to respond in full force and just as I was about to give his devilish tongue access to my mouth, he pulled away from the kiss as quickly as he started it, leaving me desperately wanting more contact.

"Happy birthday, Seifer." He whispers, giving me one last look into his slate coloured eyes.

Without another word, the brunet turns and walks out of my room, leaving me standing there, both speechless and breathless. On their own accord, my gloved fingers find their way up to touch my slightly moist lips. My mind is reeling about only two things. First, what the hell was that for; and second, when the hell can I get another one.

Please R&R, I want to know what people think.

This story is based off the Bon Jovi song of the same name, Dirty Little Secret. It was a plot bunny that my friend gave me and I have just tried to expand on it. It is a pseudo song fic. I say that because I will not be quoting the song exactly. I will just be taking the words and working them into the dialog or descriptions.

This story is tentatively going to be about 6 Chapters, and as you can tell, it's a SXS, or at least that it what it is starting out to be, whahaha! Till next time!