A/N So Uhhh… yeah. I know, welcome back, did you die? I know it's been like 3 months since I've updated, but junior year has been my hardest year in this entire world… like seriously. I have AP classes, and honors classes, and TONS of homework… BUT IT'S FALL BREAK!!! (For those of you who don't have that, it's like spring break, 'cept in October). So yeah. I'm going to post a chapter because I feel like the most horrible person ever for leaving you hanging like that. I forgot how I had ended chapter nine, and then I just went back and re-read it, and was like "OMG! No wonder they're all messaging me to write more!" So yeah…

And now I have season 3 for inspiration… Oh god, I seriously hope that Wednesdays (the 25) episode is referring to Sawyer as being the one Kate loves. If they make that relationship a Jate, I will never watch the damn show again! (Okay, so I will… but I won't be happy about it! Besides, Jack has Juliet now, let him be with her… they're cute together!)

Oh, and who CALLED IT?! I know that it wasn't Kate who lost her voice, but Locke did… And I feel so cool for predicting it!! Haha I'm just kidding!

Thanks sosososososososo much to everyone who reviewed.

AND TO CLEAR ONE THING UP: Kate DID NOT actually speak the words "'Cause I love you". She "said" them, just like she's been saying them for the past chapters. I know, major disappointment, but I'll give you guy's cookies just for being so patient!!

Review, and let me know what you think… I love your perspective!

Tazitz

Passion
The will to win, the spark within

The strength within the hearts of men

The drive to press, to strive for best, to rise

You've just arrived the quest is driven through

To play through pain and love the game
To break the chain and blaze the flame
The fight for rights to love your life, to rise
You've just arrived the quest is driven through
Passion

Blackalicious

Chapter Ten: All the Things She Wish She Said

Sawyer looked at me for a full minute, then shook his head and smiled a tight lipped smile.

"No you don't." I nodded, trying to protest, but he cut me off. "You don't have to feel like you owe me anythin' by sayin' stuff like that." I felt my jaw drop.

"I'm not saying that because I feel like I owe you something, or because I feel like I have to. I'm saying it because it's true!" I insisted. Sawyer looked at me with a disbelieving look on his face. "It's true!"

"Alright, alright, Sassafras. I believe you. Now take a breath in, then let it out. Your face is turnin' purple as a elephant."

"Elephant's aren't purple." I stated, then saw the look on his face and felt stupid. "Of course they aren't, sweetheart, of course they aren't." I laughed as he smirked at my moment of stupidity. Sawyer sat down on the sand, pulling me down with him.

"Why do you love me Kate?"

"Because," I looked up at his face, "You're the first person since–" I felt my throat close. I took another breath and tried again. "You're the first person in a long time who doesn't want me to change, to fit the mold of what they think I should be. You let me be me and you're happy with how I turn out." I paused, then grinned. "Plus, it helps that you're pretty gook looking. And you have an accent. That right there gives you a few points ahead of the competition."

"What competition?!" Sawyer asked defensively.

"Oh please country boy, you're not the only guy on this island I could have. There's Jack, Locke, hell, even Charlie's not half bad." I giggled at the look of indignation on his face. "Oh don't worry darlin', that southern accent will always keep me coming back for more."

"Well since Charlie ain't half bad, what about his accent?"

"Well, I have to admit, it is a pretty big turn on, but seriously… the English are just so bloody needy!" I mocked an English accent. Sawyer laughed.

'That's good then, 'cause you sure as hell aren't goin' any place else to sleep at night. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm the purdiest smellin' guy on this island, thank you very much!"

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I was lying alone on the beach, just taking in the sunset. Sawyer had gone to the hatch to discuss something or another with Jack, and I really hadn't felt up to hearing those two fight about what color the sky is, so I stayed here, to be alone for the first time in what seemed like forever.

But does anyone on this island ever get time to be alone? Yeah, no.

"Hey Kate." Claire approached me tentatively, holding Aaron in her arms. "How're you doing?"

"Eh, alright." I didn't feel like saying too much, knowing she would get lost if I tried to have a real conversation.

"Er, that's good… Look, I just wanted to let you know that I know I haven't been there for you lately, but if you ever needed a place to just relax or someone to talk to, you can always hang out with me. I may not understand and you may have to repeat stuff, but I'll try." I gave her a grateful smile as she stood up and walked away. I turned my head again and stared wistfully at the sunset.

How long are you going to keep this going Katie? I questioned myself. You can't lead him on. He's only going to get hurt in the end.

But I'm not leading him on! I truly love him… and if he doesn't love me, then fine. That's his choice, not mine.

You don't love him Kate. You don't have the ability to do that. My other half argued.

You don't know anything. Just… shut up! I kept my gaze just below the sun, trying to calm the internal struggle that was going on.

"You keep lookin' at the sun like that, you're gonna blind yourself." Sawyer sat himself down next to me on the sand. I looked at him without an expression on my face.

"What did you need to talk to Jack about?"

"Oh, nothin' important. 'Course, as soon as I tried to prove my point, he started disagreein' and tryin' to tell me the sky was really purple, not blue." I stared at him, incredulous.

"You were really arguing about what color that sky is?" Sawyer gaffawed and slapped his knee.

"Sassafras, we're stubborn asses, but we're not that stupid. 'Course we didn't argue 'bout somethin' that stupid." I smiled a little, not knowing what else to say. I turned my attention back to the sun. "Kate." He touched my arm. I turned my head and stared down at his hand on my arm. "What's the matter?" I shook my head.

"Nothing is the matter. I'm just not feeling to well." I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest. Sawyer stood with me and spoke.

"Well, c'mon, I'll take you back to my tent and you can rest…" He grinned as another thought formed in his head. "Or, better yet…"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" I exploded. "I tell you I'm not feeling well and you want to have sex with me. What…" My voice tapered off as I realized that I was really, truly screaming at him.

"Wha… Did you, uh… Were you really just screaming at me?" Sawyer's jaw dropped. I nodded my head, though still unsure. I tried it again.

"I think so… Oh my god, I can actually speak!" I threw my arms around his neck and laughed. Really laughed, with real sound. Something I haven't done in a month.

"Told you I was gonna help ya get your voice back darlin'. Now, how 'bout that tent of mine?" I smacked him in the shoulder, but grabbed his hand and we walked to his tent, intending to have a night never to be forgotten.

I know, yeah, short and doesn't really answer any questions, but then it does, kind of. Like it, don't like it? Let me know… leave a review!! I'm hoping to have another chapter soon, so be on the lookout.

Thanks for not giving up on me… I hope most of you remember what's going on!

Tazitz