Chapter 1: Link Sets off
Link is sailing away from Outset Island on the King of Red Lions, the pirate ship next to them.
Link: Well, that was the end of another Zelda game, I'm glad it's all over.
Dahpnes: What are you complaining about? You only did 5 small dungeons!
Dahpnes: 5, that Blue Pearl doesn't count, you got that for free!
Link: It sure was a short adventure. A little rushed, but you've got deadlines and stuff y'know, and the fans of course.
Dahpnes: Don't remind me, the sea is too boring, I'm too boring "We want Epona, we want Epona" I mean, how do you roam a sea with a horse? And did you ever see Epona talk? No, it's just an ordinary horse, no wings, horns or fire-tails, just an ordinary horse. I mean: A talking boat, where do you see that?
Link: Yeah, and then me! I'm too childish for them, well if they want that hunky adult Link from Ocarina of Time, just don't buy this game!
Dahpnes: Well, he sure was cool...How was it to be him?
Link: Well actually I can't remember that well. It was a few lives ago that I was him, but I do remember it was hard, saving the world and stuff, and fight a giant pig
Dahpnes: By the way, did you ever hear anything about Ganon after he got sealed away in the Realm?
Link: He got 8 years, but it was reduced to 4 because of good behaviour.
Dahpnes: 4 years?
Link: After that I sometimes saw him by the pharmacy. One time I heard him talking about a flood, so I flew to the forest.
Dahpnes: I thought you went searching for Navi?
Link: Ha! For that piece of flying crap? What do YOU think!
Flashback - with Navi following Link screaming: "Hey! Listen!" "Link!" and Link screaming back "SHUT UP!"
Link: I swear it, from all the things I've done, every monster I've defeated, every country I've traveled through, the worst part of my journey was HIM!
Dahpnes: But the game says...
Link: (sigh) Ninty want to keep their family reputation.
Dahpnes: So did you find Navi?
Link: No. He found me!
Dahpnes: But if you found each other, how did you die?
You see a thought-balloon where Link holds a gun against his head while Navi is screaming "Hey!" "Listen!"
Link: Hey aren't you supposed to be dead! (change's subject while having a sweat-droplet on his head)
Link: Back then, under the water? You were talking about us living for the future
Dahpnes: Oh that, no that was for dramatic effect.
Link: Haha, so you...
Dahpnes: (Interrupts Link) Link! Look out!
Link looks forward and sees Windfall Island before his nose, he tries to stop but he crashes on the 2 meter long beach of Windfall Island.
Link: Hehehe (brushes his hand through his hair, along with a sweat-droplet on his head)
Dahpnes: You're the worst
Spelling Control: Adhamh