Chapter 1: Link Sets off


Link is sailing away from Outset Island on the King of Red Lions, the pirate ship next to them.

Link: Well, that was the end of another Zelda game, I'm glad it's all over.

Dahpnes: What are you complaining about? You only did 5 small dungeons!

Link: 6!

Dahpnes: 5, that Blue Pearl doesn't count, you got that for free!

Link: It sure was a short adventure. A little rushed, but you've got deadlines and stuff y'know, and the fans of course.

Dahpnes: Don't remind me, the sea is too boring, I'm too boring "We want Epona, we want Epona" I mean, how do you roam a sea with a horse? And did you ever see Epona talk? No, it's just an ordinary horse, no wings, horns or fire-tails, just an ordinary horse. I mean: A talking boat, where do you see that?

Link: Yeah, and then me! I'm too childish for them, well if they want that hunky adult Link from Ocarina of Time, just don't buy this game!

Dahpnes: Well, he sure was cool...How was it to be him?

Link: Well actually I can't remember that well. It was a few lives ago that I was him, but I do remember it was hard, saving the world and stuff, and fight a giant pig

Dahpnes: By the way, did you ever hear anything about Ganon after he got sealed away in the Realm?

Link: He got 8 years, but it was reduced to 4 because of good behaviour.

Dahpnes: 4 years?

Link: After that I sometimes saw him by the pharmacy. One time I heard him talking about a flood, so I flew to the forest.

Dahpnes: I thought you went searching for Navi?

Link: Ha! For that piece of flying crap? What do YOU think!

Flashback - with Navi following Link screaming: "Hey! Listen!" "Link!" and Link screaming back "SHUT UP!"

Link: I swear it, from all the things I've done, every monster I've defeated, every country I've traveled through, the worst part of my journey was HIM!

Dahpnes: But the game says...

Link: (sigh) Ninty want to keep their family reputation.

Dahpnes: So did you find Navi?

Link: No. He found me!

Dahpnes: But if you found each other, how did you die?

Link: Well...

You see a thought-balloon where Link holds a gun against his head while Navi is screaming "Hey!" "Listen!"

Link: Hey aren't you supposed to be dead! (change's subject while having a sweat-droplet on his head)

Dahpnes: What?

Link: Back then, under the water? You were talking about us living for the future

Dahpnes: Oh that, no that was for dramatic effect.

Link: Haha, so you...

Dahpnes: (Interrupts Link) Link! Look out!

Link looks forward and sees Windfall Island before his nose, he tries to stop but he crashes on the 2 meter long beach of Windfall Island.

Link: Hehehe (brushes his hand through his hair, along with a sweat-droplet on his head)

Dahpnes: You're the worst


Story: Abner

Spelling Control: Adhamh