Disclaimer: I own nothing from Growlanser nor do I own anything from any psychic shows.

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Barbra is seen sitting at a small table with cards laid out in front of her.

"Welcome to "Miss Barbra's Psychic Hotline"…Let's take our first caller…"

A voice comes on the speakers.

"Hi, uh…My name's Wein, Wein Kruz…and uh well…I need help…"

"Don't we all, dear?" Barbra said with a laugh. "So what is it that you want to know? My psychic powers shall reveal all!"

"Huh? Psychic powers?"

"………Yes…this is a psychic hotline…" Barbra pointed out.

"What! I thought this was "The Hot Line for the Gender Confused"…"

Barbra had a huge sweat drop at this point. "Um…Noooooo…"

Click!

"……………Well now…that was…interesting……Next caller!"

A new voice came on the speakers.

"Hello, is this Miss Barbra?"

"Yes it is, what is it that you would like to know?"

"Yes, you seem to have some outstanding bills, and we were wondering when you were going to pa-"

Click!

"Eh heh, heh, heh…Moving on…let's go to our next caller…"

A new voice came on.

"Uh…hi, my name is Vincent…I'm a general for-"

"Yes, yes, spare us your life story, what is it you want to know? Maybe if your future or if your lover is faithful or something?"

"Huh? Oh no…my love is very trustworthy…"

Barbra looked at her cards. "…………Right…enjoy your heart wrenching break up next week…"

"What?"

"Nothing! So what do you want to know?"

"Oh, uh right…well…you see…I'm locked out of my house…"

"……………………And?"

"Can you tell me where my keys are? I can't find them!"

Barbra's jaw nearly dropped. "You're kidding right?"

"Nope."

"………………………Your dog ate them." Barbra said flatly.

"Damn! Wait…I don't have a dog!"

"Next caller!"

"No wait! I'm cold! And hungry! I need shelter!"

Click!

"Alright…Just who's the moron that's picking these calls!"

-Meanwhile, backstage…-

"Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Clive laughed like a crazed hyena. "This is revenge for turning me down whenever I asked you out on dates!"

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VTM: That's chapter 5! Again sorry if it was a bit short…these would be a lot easier (and funnier) to write in script format, but the last time I checked FF. net doesn't allow it…well, I hope you liked this chapter, R&R, and please, no flames…