I'm just using him. I tell him this as he peers over those dark glasses at me. He says he doesn't care. He says it can't be so, that smile I get. But I know it's true. I could love him, I really could. I already do, but it's not in the way he wants. I would give my life for him, to avenge him or save him, but he doesn't really care. It's so hard to tell what he wants. He kisses me. He asks me, as he brushes a hand through my hair, what do I want from this? I don't answer. Part of me wants to keep him, wants to claim him so none can have him but me, but I know we will only hurt each other. He's too close to me. But I'm waiting, waiting for someone to turn around and notice me the way he notices her. She's so much prettier than me, that flowing hair the color of cherries in the spring, her eyes like chips of deep jade. I feel so plain next to her, so dull in my bulky coat. I can't help it that I get cold, can I? But she never sees him. She never casts him a kind word, but he follows her faithfully as she follows another. He would cut out his heart and give it to her, if only to make her smile. And he would die happy. I don't know if I love him or if I love the idea of being in love with him. He seems so kind, so happy, like he could chase my fears away and make me smile. Shino asks what I want again and I shake my head. I don't know, I don't know. I know I want Naruto, but he doesn't see me, will he ever? Shino sees me, wants me. I lean into his kiss even though I know it's wrong. I don't want him, not really. I want to be wanted.