Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.

Gophers
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

It was just a normal day, the birds were chirping cheerfully, students were laughing and talking as they walked home from school, and Tomo Takino was speeding out of the gates like a cheetah on speed, with Kagura hot on her heels.

"Jeesh, can't you wait?" Kagura snapped as she finally caught up with her friend. "Honestly, you're like a gopher on a sugar rush or something, I swear."

"Gopher?" Tomo blinked as she slowed down. "What the heck is a gopher?"

Kagura looked at Tomo, astounded, and shook her head.

"Tomo, are you just being funny or do you really not know?"

"Havn't got a cat's clue in Hell."

"You mean a cat's chance in Hell."

"Since when have you been smart," Tomo griped. "Have you and Yomi had a brain-swap or something?"

"Wow, how very funny you are, please excuse me while I die laughing," Kagura rolled her eyes. "But do you seriously not know what a gopher is?"

"Isn't it like a wombat or something?"

"A… wombat?" Kagura sweatdropped.

"Yeah, you know, one of those…"

"I know what a wombat is. And no a gopher isn't a wombat."

"Then what is it?"

"It's like a mole… but it doesn't dig molehills…"

"Course it wouldn't; it'd dig gopherhills."

"Right," Kagura sweatdropped again, "Oh yeah, and they also like stealing vegeatbles."

"What, wombats or moles?"

"Try gophers."

Tomo's face crumpled as she thought. "But how do gophers get into shops to steal the vegetables in the first place."

"Tomo," Kagura sighed, "They steal them from people's gardens…"

"Oh… I thought that was rabbits."

Kagura felt herself growing more and more exasperated by the second. How did Yomi put up with this?

"Next thing I know you're going to be talking about how the rabbits are going to take over the world."

"But I thought they were," Tomo said, confused.

"Do you really listen to, and believe for that matter, everything that Osaka says?"

"Maaaybe."

"Baka."

Tomo turned and glared at Kagura.

"Says the girl who thought reindeers didn't exist."

"No, Tomo, that was you," Kagura corrected her. "Yomi was right; you really are an idiot."