Choux Pastry Heart
A/N: So this is the third and sadly final chapter of 'White Lines". The proverbial ball is back in Raven's court for this one. I apologize for the wait but this chapter really gave me a hard time On this plus side this is the first time any of my stories have included dialogue.(even if it is a monologue.) Nothing seemed to fit the overall theme if the story. It took a lot of work. And I'm still not completely satisfied.
Disclaimer: I own no part of the TT organization. Wish I could at least own a little piece if Kid Flash though. Nor do I own the title of this chapter. It's from a song by Corrine Bailey Rae.
Dedication: This final chapter is a belated birthday gift. Kay, this was the only thing I could think of to give you (relatively) in time. I did consider cookies, candy, someones kneecaps and a fallen angel but alas, they simply were out of my budget range. Happy (very belated) birthday girl. I hope you like this.
She wasn't supposed to be this nervous. Wasn't supposed to feel so intimidated. She was Raven. Raven, the mistress of all that was dark and mysterious. She was part demon for Azar's sake. She could do this. She was going to be fine.
He'd been cordial. As soon as he was able to get his eyes under control he had led the rest of the group in welcoming her back. He had even hugged her, albeit briefly. In fact there had been hugs all around (which earned her quite a few stares as Raven did not hug, as a general rule). She had been introduced to her new team member, Donna, who rushed to ensure her that she was not her replacement. Raven had even joined in the festivities, telling those around her the bare bones about her year in reclusion. All seemed to be well.
Then she'd decided to go to her room. Go back to the place she'dfled fromso many nights ago. She never made it past the door. She stood in the hallway staring at her name in its plaque. She noticed the fine layer of dust, a sure sign that no one had dared enter her sanctum in her absent. But more importantly she noticed the fingertips over her name. She knew, instinctively, whom they belonged to. He'd been polite to her all evening. Nothing more. Nothing less. To everyone else he'd appeared to be fine. She knew better. Knew that her sudden re-appearance had essentially sucker-punched him. She was still reeling from the dizzying rush of emotions she's felt from him. Shock, joy, anger and confusion had washed over him the moment he saw her. They'd shaken her with their intensity.
She was tempted to wait. Tempted to put off their inevitable confrontation till the next morning. At least tomorrow she'd be clean and out of the civilian clothes she wore. She may not have all the answers either of them needed but she'd be in her real clothes. She'd have her armor; her protection from what she knew was coming. But she knew that she needed to do this now. Knew that the longer she waited the worse things would get. Besides she hadn't hidden out in the desert for a year; trying to get to this point only to back down now. She was too far in to turn back.
She followed his emotions. She let his anger and his confusion lead her past his empty room, past the still noisy common room and out of the Tower. They were so strong she could taste them. Slightly sweet, sour and tangy all it once. It led her to the rocks surrounding the Tower. With his back hunched and his head down; he looked incredibly small and undeniably broken. She recalled other times she'd seen him at these rocks. Each sojourn to them meant he was hurting and upset. It tore her apart to know that this time she'd been the one to send him here.
She knew he was aware of her. His sharp senses had probably caught her scent the moment she'd left the building. She fondly remembered a time when he'd told her that her scent was the most comforting smell in the world to him. Told her it was a balm to his usually beleaguered nerves. Fleetingly she wondered if those words still held true for him.
Squaring her shoulders she continued to approach him, trying desperately to find the right words to begin with. She hadn't moved more than two feet when his voice stopped her. "I waited for you. For a whole year I put my life on hold." It's funny how a single sentence can stagger a person. In an instant all her thoughts, all her explanations, left her. What could she say? How could anything she said ease the pain she felt rolling off him? She parted her lips to respond but again he beat her to it. "Did you think about me? I thought about you. Saw your face wherever I went. You haunted me, you know? Did you consider my feelings when you left? Did you wonder how I must've felt when you decided to just up and go? Did you think that maybe I'd be hurt when you ran away in the early morning not even saying goodbye? Did you think of any of us while you were gone? Think that maybe we wanted to know you were alive and safe?" He paused here but only to regain his breath, to gain more steam. "Or did you only think of yourself? Only think of your feelings and of your needs? Only think of how scared you felt, how nervous, how completely thrown bywhat we were building made you feel? Did you just think we'd forget you, that life would be okay for us, for me without you in it? Did you even miss us? Did you even miss me?"
She didn't interrupt him. She didn't try to explain herself, not yet. She'd known this was coming. Knew this needed to happen if they were going to have any chance of survival. She just stared at him, took in his haggard appearance. She noticed the slightly sunken eyes, the slight shadows under them. She noticed the way the lines on his face had grown a little deeper. He looked not unlike a prisoner just beginning to live again. Her heart tore a little more at the knowledge that she'd driven him to this point.
His hand on her shoulder startled her out of her daze. Too soon, far too soon it was gone, back with the body it belonged to. He was waiting for an answer, deep emerald eyes burning into her skin. But she'd lost the words, forgotten the question. She knew her words wouldn't be enough. Knew they wouldn't accurately explain why she'd left and why she'd returned. She needed more.
In the days to come they would remember the kiss. They would blush to remember the emotion behind it. Blush to remember the way she'd grabbed him and desperately pressed her lips to his. The way she'd used the kiss as a way to send him all her thoughts, memories and reams fro the past year. They would blush to remember how, as he'd began to make sense of the barrage of images and feelings and thoughts he was seeing, the kiss had lost the edge desperation and been replaced with understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness.
In the days to come they would smile to remember how, when they'd finally come up for air, she'd rested her head on his chest (when had he gotten so much taller?) and gaspingly told him how sorry she was, how stupid she was (although she would deny the stupid part) how much she'd missed him and how much she cared for him. He would smile as he gently teased her about the blush covering her cheeks as she'd explained how she'd been so afraid of what they forming. How she'd been so scared that what they were building was real and how she'd felt that she didn't deserve it, didn't deserve him. How she'd never meant to hurt him and about the dreams and the way sleep seemed to evade her every day she was away. Smiling slightly she'd tease him about the mature attitude he'd had when he told her that what they were building was real. That it would take work. Take time. Take patience. That those feelings were scary for him too and that he too was afraid that he didn't deserve what he was getting. But he was willing to go in headfirst, for the long haul with her. That he wanted her, all of her, everything she was willing to offer him because he loved her. In the days, weeks, and years to come they would smile to remember how she'd smiled, truly smiled and told him that she wanted all of him too, that she loved him too.
A/N: So. There it is. I feel like it came off too cheesy, too unoriginal. Too much like a sappy romance movie or the Lifetime movie of the weekish. But I've been told more than once I'm too harsh on myself so I'll let you guys tell me what you think. Did I disappoint you with the ending? Was this a big letdown or did you enjoy it? Please let me know what you think.