Misunderstandings are, of course, a part of life. Yuuri knew it very well. In fact, he was pretty certain most bad (or good, truly, good could be in that too) things in life had to be the result of a misunderstanding.
Two countries wanted the same land and couldn't come to terms? War.
A teenager had been keeping some cigarettes for a friend and his parents found out? Grounded.
Slapping a pretty boy that had been insulting your mother? Engagement!
Perfectly logical, right?
Even if Yuuri knew that, there were still Lines that wouldn't be crossed. Ever. Bad Omens. Bad Things Would Happen, he was sure, just like he knew what things not to say ever in his life if he wanted to get to his next birthday in one breathing piece of flesh. Sometimes, he really thought people should give him more credit. He knew that if his mother or any female asked if a dress made them look fat, the answer was either a distracted 'huh?' from watching the baseball game or assure them that of course not. He also knew never to question Wolfram's love for nighties, even if it broke his brain. You never told Anissina that you didn't know where Günther and/or Gwendal where hiding (Dorcas had tried once and Yuuri heard that the man was still terrified). Even more: you never, never voluntarily put any of Anissina's inventions near your body. Ever.
No matter if said slapped-pretty-boy-now-fiancé was holding it. Especially if your slapped-pretty-boy was holding it. Fire and oil, anyone?
"I'm not wearing that thing!" Yuuri said, trying to put as much distance between him and Wolfram, which was a little hard because Wolfram was blocking the one exit out of their room. And their room was in the third floor, even if the windows were starting to look really tempting.
"Oh, yes you are!"
There were lots of furniture being turned over and thrown and burned (and Yuuri really hoped that that base wasn't some kind of antique treasure or anything), gasping, yells ("Nnnh! Yuuri!" "No, W-Wolfram! Nnn!"), he suffered the loss of his jacket (okay, not that big of a loss, but still) and after just a bit, they both were sweating and tired… and Wolfram had left the escape route free.
"No, Yuuri, come back here!" and just as he was reaching the door, he was tackled against it.
Ahem. Do you remember the part about Misunderstandings?
Now add a Great Sage and a Redheaded Spy to the mix. A very, very, extremely amused Great Sage and an equally amused Redheaded Spy.
Have you ever heard the sound of thousand of Kohi's exhaling just at the same time? Well, of course you haven't because they don't have lungs to do so, so it's completely silent. Just like the hall was for a moment while Yozak and Murata stared at Wolfram. On top of Yuuri. Straddling the Maou. Trying to put an Anissina invention. An Anissina invention that very conveniently seemed to have some kind of leather straps.
Yuuri knew how it looked and that it looked bad, that bad was it.
It didn't help that Anissina's 'Let's-See-If- You-Are-Cheating-You-Cheater-Kun' involved a harness, leather straps and metal rings. Murata's mouth twitched dangerously and Yozak was about to bust out something while trying very, very hard not to laugh his ass off at the expenses of the Maou and his fiancé from what he could see. It didn't help that Wolfram had gone also very, very still which could very well mean a very, very painful dead to the Great Sage, the redheaded spy and, just because he'd be in a rampage, also him.
"Wait!" Yuuri exclaimed, trying to squirm from under Wolfram, but that caused Wolfram to remember his priorities, which didn't involve saving his fiancé from public humiliation, nooo, but that involved taking advantage of his sudden leverage on the business at hand (and body) to try to get every single damn bit of the thing on him. "It's not what it seems!"
"Of course it isn't, kiddo." Yozak muttered, apparently still trying to hold his laughter. "And it doesn't involve leather, or straddling either."
The thing about misunderstandings, is that they're constantly kind of right in a wrong way, in which technically the truth is being told, and yet it's a complete lie because there's not all the truth.
Murata's glasses shone as he gave a shrug before he and Yozak started walking again. "Maa, and here I thought they were completely vanilla…"
"I said it's not what it seems!" Yuuri yelled after them, just as Wolfram finished tying a buckle around his neck.
"Aha!" Proclaimed Wolfram in victory. "Know you won't cheat again, you cheater!"
For once, Yuuri wished for the invention to explode. Right now or sooner, if possible. Please.