TITLE: The Stalker
RATING: NC17, MA
GENRE: First Time, Humour
PAIRING: Severus Snape x Harry Potter, Severus Snape x Bertie Botts (only mentioned) and two special pairings which I don't want to reveal yet…
DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine and I won't make money with them. So I'll take them out to play, but I won't harm them, okay?
BETA: Auror2020, darkpath300 and nemesis hamartia. Great thanks to all of you!
Harry walked as quickly as his limp allowed from the Gryffindor common room directly to the Astronomy Tower. He was late and didn't have time to go to breakfast in the Great Hall with his friends, but that was nothing new for him these days.
Voldemort was finally dead. And if Harry had known what a lot of completely new problems that would mean for him, he would never have killed him in the first place.
During the final battle which had rid the world of his lifelong nemesis, he had felt at least alive. But now, he just felt bored to his very soul. His life since Voldemort's death had turned out to be very uninteresting so far, because he had to repeat his seventh year at Hogwarts.
His injuries at the end of term had sent him to the hospital wing for four months, preventing him from taking his NEWTs. In fact, so long had he lain in the infirmary that Madame Pomfrey finally took the unheard-of step of inviting him to call her Poppy.
True, he was not unique in his class, because Ron and Neville were having to repeat their seventh year too, but it just wasn't the same as before. And he had the feeling that it never would be like old times again.
Hermione was studying in Ireland to become a medi-witch, but she wrote Ron and him nearly twice a week.
Harry knew that he should be content with living at Hogwarts, the one and only real home he had ever known, but he felt like he had come to a full stop in his life.
During his last battle he had realized that he didn't want to be an Auror and, thanks to his leg which would never heal properly after having been infected with a dark potion, he wouldn't be able to play professional Quidditch either. Not that he would have wanted that – honestly, he thought, professional Quidditch players were just young men who didn't want to grow up.
So what to do with his life? What to do with his BORING life? In the past four weeks he had talked with Professor McGonagall about his plans for the future maybe twenty times, but he simply couldn't come up with anything.
And as long as he was locked up at Hogwarts, there wasn't likely be any change in his state of mind. He was very sure of that.
But he didn't know about some recent changes in the behaviour of certain professors.
"Hey Harry, you're late again, mate!"
Ron looked up from where he sat against the nearest wall, studying his notes from the last Divinations class. After the defeat of the Dark Lord, Professor Trelawney had started actually to make reasonable predictions – for her, anyway. But her students all suspected that this would be short-lived and could only be a result of her utter shock at Harry's still being alive.
"Morning Ron. Sorry, I slept in again."
"Here, two apples from breakfast and some chocolate cookies."
"Thanks a lot, Ron. You're my saviour, you know."
Before Ron could answer, Trelawney interrupted them with a knowing smile.
"How interesting, Mr. Potter. But perhaps you should continue this conversation later, as class begins in half a minute."
Trelawney's usually gloomy expression was almost – happy – today, and it was disconcerting. They hadn't seen such a smile on her face since Voldemort's death. They couldn't help feeling that it couldn't mean anything good.
Harry was tempted to go to Poppy and fake a headache. If the real Trelawney returned today, he just would go to the nearest window and jump.
"Good morning everybody. I've had a vision tonight, but to confirm its meaning we will have to consult our sources. We'll have to do some work here."
As Ron and Harry made an attempt to look into their teacups, Trelawney, peering over their shoulders, gave a happy little shriek. When she started to talk, their worst fears were confirmed.
"I'm so glad for you, Mr. Potter! You've finally found your true love after such a long, hopeless time in your life. I saw it clearly in my visions and now in the leaves, but it's written in the stars, too, did you know that?"
Harry was too floored to murmur anything more coherent. He had expected some nasty story about his impending death, but this was something entirely new for him.
"But I don't understand why you haven't both made an announcement about your relationship already. It's not nice to have given everyone false signals for so long."
"What are you talking about, Professor?" Harry wondered how he had managed to produce a coherent question, considering the total rubbish coming out of
He'd found his love?
His true love?
That wasn't going to happen to him in this life; he could have told her that. He had decided just six months ago that he'd never go out on a date again. Never, ever again.
You see, once upon a time there had been this boy called Harry. He had started to date girls and it had nearly bored him to death. Then he had tried to bed the girls he dated, which to his horror had been even less interesting. He discovered that all he wanted from girls was some nice conversation and a little bit of fun, but what they wanted was to fuck the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Defeat-The-Dark-Lord and get on with their lives. He couldn't get an erection on any of his attempts, so he eventually stopped embarrassing himself by trying.
After this insight into things, he thought he'd try dating girls with bad reputations just for the kick of it – but there was no kick at all. His last try was with Pansy Parkinson (he had been very depressed) but he had dated her mostly just to annoy Draco. Well, at least that part had worked.
And that was that. End of story. He was hopeless, and he knew it. Time to get on with his own life and to make some decisions.
But Trelawney was answering his question. "About you and Ron, what else?"
Both their faces became pale, really pale. They looked at each other and took a deep breath.
"How for Merlin's sake did you get the idea that Ron and I could be a couple?"
"Watch your language, Mister Potter! But to answer your question, I thought I told you that before."
"But we aren't a couple…"
"Mr. Potter. It's quite unacceptable to deny it further. You'll only give the girls false hopes if you keep your relationship a secret."
"But I'm really not gay! I swear by the death of my parents! And IF I ever were with a boy, it wouldn't be Ron, that's for sure – no offence, mate!"
"10 Points will be taken from Gryffindor for lying to your Professor, Mister Potter."
"And now be quiet, both of you, before I am forced to take more house points from Gryffindor for your blatant lies."
Ron chose this moment to break his lockjaw and began to stammer:
"But we… but Harry… but I… and Hermione… but… we… aren't … won't ever be… that's ugh… what… oh no…"
Harry elbowed him in the ribs to prevent a loss of more house points.
"Well, if you are too stubborn to acknowledge your relationship with each other officially, I'll have to force you both to do it."
Trelawney began to wave her wand around, murmuring some Latin sentences and trying to cast a spell, before Ron interrupted her, his wand pointing at her face:
"Don't dare to hex him! You'll never be happy again, I swear!"
She made a face, waved her wand and cried, "Expelliarmus!" before Ron could do anything against it. She captured Ron's wand and shook her head, making a show out of it.
"Mr. Weasley, I'm very disappointed with your behaviour in my classroom. But I won't take more points from your house, because you've just proven my theory for me. This is exactly what I've been talking about the whole time!"
"He's my best friend and I would gladly give my life for him, if that were needed and would help him. That doesn't mean --"
"If that wasn't the declaration of an eternal love, I'll have to quit teaching, dear Mr. Weasley. And now be quiet and start to work on your essay about the importance of divination without further interrupting my class."
Ron wanted to answer that, but Harry took his arm and shook his head as he whispered:
"Just stop arguing, Ron. It won't do any good, and judging by the excited whispering around us, it's to late to stop this nonsense anyway. They won't believe us regardless of what we say. Look at them, they want to believe her."
"Yeah, I know. We'll work something out together, okay?"
"Okay, mate, but that doesn't mean I have to like this situation, right?"
"Right. Me neither."
That evening Severus Snape, once a useful spy for Dumbledore and an awesome potions and duelling master, stormed downstairs into the shelter of his dungeons. He was so confused, angry, and shocked at the same time that he totally forgot about Longbottom.
Neville Longbottom himself, who hadn't expected his professor back so early, started at Snape's energetic arrival and let a tray with several glass jars slip from his trembling fingers. The jars were Snape's favourites, because they held some of the first expensive potions ingredients he had ever bought and they stood normally on the shelf above his desk.
Neville heard the shattering noise and felt the splash of formaldehyde against his dark boots. He felt like crying helplessly, but decided against it. Instead he just stammered:
"I'm very… s… sorry… P… Profess… sssor… S… Snape…"
Neville flushed deeply red until he looked like a big, round tomato.
"Oh shut up, Longbottom!" Snape snapped loudly, whirling around in his long, black robes. He snarled as his dark mood got even darker, watching the formaldehyde wetting the cold stone floor of his workroom.
Thinking about how this mess could have happened, he decided it must have been because he had been so bored at the time Dumbledore had made his outrageous suggestion. It must have seemed that it would be better to die from Longbottom's stupidity rather than from boredom. That must have been why he had acquiesced rather than hexing the old man out of hand.
After the fall of the Dark Lord his life had admittedly become much quieter, but much more enervating and boring as well. At first he thought himself in heaven without the Dark Lord and without his life as a spy, but after a while he felt life was rather useless without someone threatening it.
After this insight he got even more grumpy and unfair to his pupils until Dumbledore decided to interfere. Only Snape's desperation on the one hand and his deep affection and gratitude for his mentor on the other side protected Dumbledore from an Unforgivable as he suggested Snape to try Neville Longbottom as his assistant. Snape snarled, got angry, fumed and argued, but Dumbledore insisted. End of story. Sometimes life was just cruel to him – he had had to accept that.
So he finally said, "Yes, why not?" surprising both of them into stunned silence before rushing out of the headmaster's office.
So Longbottom became his official assistant, one he tried to ignore most of the time while keeping anything valuable out of his hands.
But right now he was too disturbed to be really angry about Longbottom's latest mishap or to consider his impulses before acting on them. So he did the first thing on his mind and asked:
"Is it true, Longbottom?"
"W… What, sir?"
"Don't play the innocent with me, Longbottom!" Snape warned him.
"You must know something about it -- you all live in the same dorm! "
The Head of Slytherin growled, but as the boy seemed near a nervous breakdown he made his question clear:
"This… gossip… about Potter and Weasley… is it true?"
Longbottom stared at him as if he had grown a second head right next to his first. He didn't start to answer though, so Snape went impatient again.
"I… I don't know, sir." the Gryffindor interrupted his teacher, but seeing the dissatisfied look on the professor's face he added in a rush,"You must know, sir, they don't talk with me about their secrets. But…"
"But what? Just spit it out, Longbottom!"
"But I think it must be true, Professor. You just have to look at them and you'll see it can't be a lie. They're made for each other, don't you think?"
Snape wrinkled his nose at Neville's words and slumped down in his favourite chair, brooding.
Neville knew better than to interrupt his complicated teacher in this mood and kept working. He cleaned the floor, put the jar fragments in the trash, and finished his duties before he quietly left.
Several hours went by before light returned to the brooding man's eyes and he knew what to do. He would spice his life up again and he knew exactly how to do it. So he started making a plan.
Harry first became aware of it as he sat under a tree by the lake doing his homework together with Ron. It was end of April and pleasantly warm for the early spring, so they both had disrobed earlier and were enjoying the warm rays of the sun on their pale flesh.
AS he read his Divination book he felt it for the first time. Somebody was watching him – he was very sure of that fact.
Being the Boy-Who-Lived and now The-Boy-Who-Had-Defeated-Voldemort had taught him to recognize when somebody was watching him. He felt it from his admirers, which got on his nerves; he felt it from potential threats for his life, which made him fear; and he felt it from the people who guarded him, which made him angry. No matter what, he was never really alone.
That changed the day he defeated his lifelong enemy, because at least two sources of the watching faded.
At first he had loved this new liberty, but then he started to miss the attention. When he realized that he thought he had lost his mind, but feeling this gaze on him reminded him of what he longed for.
The gaze on him was something special, something mixed up, with totally contrary feelings in it. There was fear (of being caught?) and anger (at him or some situation?), but there was a deep caring too, some nervousness, and a lot of other feelings too. In summary, it was just great – and Harry loved it.
He could feel the watcher's presence, first as a tingling sensation at his neck, than as a quiet and light but steady changing of the air around him. He looked around and tried to find the source, but the person seemed to be using a spell to hide in darkness.
The next thing he felt was that the watcher knew that Harry had recognized that he was being observed. Then suddenly, Harry understood that the watcher wanted him to know.
This conclusion brought Harry a very funny feeling in his stomach, which he didn't recognize at first. As he interpreted it he flushed slightly, but decided he wanted to know first what this was all about.
He decided to ask if Ron could feel it too.
"Can you feel it, too?"
"Feel what, mate?"
"Someone's watching us… no, more specifically, someone's watching me… but I can't find the person. Do you see anybody looking at our direction?"
"No mate, there's nobody, really! Are you quite all right? Because you look strange and I don't know why. You're growing more and more paranoid lately, you know?"
Harry sighed deeply and counted quiet inwardly to ten. There was no chance that he could make Ron believe him about this, because his best friend was right in a way. He was so bored lately that some days he just imagined things happening to kill his boredom. But not now – he knew there was someone watching him.
Ron was looking at him with great concern. He didn't want his best friend fussing over him, so he decided to change the topic.
"Besides, Ron, I'm really sorry about Trelawney and…"
"Oh just be quiet, now, will you? You're not responsible for everything what happens, especially if it has something to do with Trelawney. If you remember right, we know she's a lunatic who takes a sadistic joy in torturing you with stupid stories, don't we? She just loves making your life as complicated as possible!"
"Yeah, I know, but it's all such a mess. You'd think people should know about her and her silly stories and that they shouldn't have any use for her so-called "visions," but one stupid suggestion from her is enough to start everybody talking about our "relationship." That's so disturbing!"
"But you won't change anything by brooding about it and being angry at everybody."
"But I'm really sorry for you. With them all thinking you're my boyfriend you won't be able to get a relationship yourself."
"Don't worry about it, mate. The person I'm in love with knows better than to believe in this shit!"
"So you finally acknowledged your feelings?"
Ron grinned broadly, nodding.
"Sure, a long time ago. But our relationship is still new, so I don't want anybody to know yet. It may be not important what others think about us, but when we tell everyone, we won't have a quiet minute for a while and we prefer our own little world at the moment. I hope you're not angry with me because I didn't tell you until now."
Harry smiled reassuringly.
"Don't be stupid, Ron! I'm very happy for you. This news is the best I've heard all week! I knew that you two would be a couple some day, anyway. There's nothing to be angry about!"
Harry thought about Ron and Hermione in a relationship – finally – and indeed felt very happy for them.
"I think I know who it is, so I won't ask you about your secret lover until you both want to tell me, okay? I want to add that I think she's always been the best choice for you und she'll make you very happy. I'm sure about that!"
At Harry's words Ron's face winkled thoughtfully and he seemed about to add something himself, but then he decided against it because Harry was so enthusiastic about this whole situation and hugged him so hard that he couldn't reply anyway.
As they released their embrace, the look on Ron's face was gone and had been replaced by a small smile.
At dinner that evening, Ron received a post from a school owl. The little brown bird was very nervous and hopped about in obvious discomfort.
Ron looked questioningly at the thin black envelope, wondering who might have sent him the letter. Then he opened the envelope and took an equally black paper out, started to read it and went instantly pale – very pale.
"What does it say, Ron?" asked Harry, curious and concerned.
"Here, read for yourself!"
Ron gave him the letter with quivering hands, becoming even paler – if that was possible.
Don't you dare to touch him again, Weasley. He's mine. If you're not careful, you'll have no time to regret it later.
Harry could have sworn he knew the handwriting from somewhere, but every time he stared more closely at the letters, they began to dance under his eyes, so he couldn't recognize the creator. They must have been hexed to react that way, but Harry didn't know the counterspell, and a "Finite Incantatem" didn't help.
"I think we'll have to go to Dumbledore about it, Ron. What do you say?"
Ron just nodded, still chilled from the letter and with goosebumps on his arms.
"I'm sorry, my boy, but I can't imagine who sent you this letter. The spell they used is not difficult to perform, but very effective."
The two young men stood before the headmaster's desk gaping. This could not be real -- Dumbledore not knowing how to remove a spell? It just didn't seem right!
"But Professor Dumbledore, you are the only one who can help us!"
"That may be, my boy, but there's a little problem with this whole situation. How often have I told you to come to me if there is news in your life? How often did I show you that you could trust me with your secrets? Can you imagine how it felt to hear from Professor Trelawney that you two have at last become a couple? To get the impression you don't trust me with your life?"
At this Harry got really angry, his ill-suppressed magic flooding the room like a little storm, but the headmaster was unimpressed.
"But WE. ARE. NOT. A. COUPLE. How can you believe such stupid gossip, Professor?"
The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes was replaced by a very stern glare.
"You can't seriously expect me to believe you and help you now with this problem. My very point is that I won't help you as long as you don't stop lying to me. Now, I think you'll have homework to do, won't you? Good evening Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley."
Back in their dorm, they couldn't stop wondering aloud what the hell had gotten into people lately. First Trelawney, then their classmates, then this stalker and now even the headmaster.
"What if someone cast a spell over Hogwarts and we don't know about it? Maybe some remaining Death Eaters who want revenge? Or is there just something in the water, do you think?"
At this last of Ron's suggestions Harry chuckled slightly and fell onto his bed, grabbing his pillow to help him think clearer.
"I don't know, Ron, but I don't think it could be the water, because then it would have affected us too, and we'd be kissing by now." Ron made a face. "But let's get serious again. I'm really so…"
"If you'll try to apologize again, I'll hex you!"
"But what should we do now?"
"Why don't we try to find out by ourselves who wrote the letter? It sounds pretty serious. I've grown sort of attached to my life over the last 17 years."
"So what do you suggest?"
"Why don't we just act a little like a real couple and pretend we're really serious about each other, so we can set a trap for your stalker?"
"Do you really think we can catch him?"
"Dumbledore said it himself: The spell the stalker used was effective but not difficult. Perhaps it is just a third year Gryffindor girl who has a crush on you and wants to scare me away. Or perhaps it is someone older and more powerful. But if you defeated Voldemort, I'm sure we should be able to catch a stalker."
"I really don't want to endanger you. Do you honestly think that's a good idea?"
"I don't know, but I'm really, really bored and this has the potential to become an adventure like old times. And that sounds pretty interesting to me, so what do you say?"
"I think we should start to make a plan."
"Will this be okay with you, love?"
"I don't know, it sounds pretty dangerous, Ron."
"I won't do it if you're not okay with it, honey."
"No, do it. I know you like playing with fire, so it is okay with me. But don't get burned, my little moth, okay? I love you too much to lose you."
"I love you too, honey."
Then they both started laughing.
The next day, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley could be seen holding hands on a late afternoon walk around the lake. They were whispering in each others' ears very familiarly.
On their return from the lake, Ron found his belongings rummaged through. There was a new black envelope neatly put on his shredded pillow with a new note in it:
This is the last warning you'll get. Don't touch him! The next time something really important will get "lost."
Ron looked for his shorts, but they were all gone and nowhere to be found. They grinned at each other as Harry lent him some, and started to plan their next move while tidying up.
The next morning in the Great Hall, they fed each other at breakfast, Ron sitting on Harry's lap.
After that Ron's broom got lost.
I warned you, Weasley. Now you'll have to pay!
They grinned again conspiratorially, feeling sure that they wouldn't have to fear anything really life-threatening from Harry's stalker. Harry lent Ron his own broom -- he couldn't fly very well with his injured leg, anyway. And playing Quidditch with it was out of question.
Then they went on to phase three of their plan.
The final strike was their kiss at their favourite tree at the lake, where Harry first had felt these eyes on him. It was just a brotherly kiss, nothing spectacular, and they had to fight not to laugh aloud at the very awkward situation, but it was worth it.
Harry had felt the stalker near nearly everywhere they had gone in Hogwarts, acting like a couple in love. But this kiss was to be their last try, because Ron's real love had become very jealous of their show of open affection, something she couldn't do with him herself. Besides Ron didn't want to lose any more of his few belongings to the stalker.
They had set warning charms on all places the stalker had stolen things from, and this time he wasn't cautious enough to find them all. Perhaps he was just too angry about the open shared kiss under the tree to look for all the charms. Harry felt The Eyes – as he had begun to think about the stalker – leave them directly after the kiss, and they both knew they would catch him this time.
It was a Hogsmeade weekend and beautiful weather outside, so nobody was near Gryffindor Tower as they stormed to their dorm following the signal of their charm.
They stopped dead in their tracks as they circled the stalker with their wands pointed at his head while recognising him. Yes, him. A man – something they really hadn't expected. A boy, yes that would have been thinkable, but a man? And then this particular man. Severus Snape.
Ron went pale again and promptly got a sick feeling in his stomach. He wanted to puke his guts out, but his shock prevented that. Instead he whispered to his companion:
Harry was very shocked too, but took the news better than Ron. He answered:
"Leave us alone, Ron. Please."
"Have you gone insane, mate?"
"No, I'm sure. Please, leave us alone."
Snape looked from one to another, waiting for what would happen next. But he didn't look like he was going to try to escape or to hurt anyone, so Ron reluctantly complied like the friend he was.
Harry lowered his wand and offered the tall thin black-clad figure a place to sit down. Contrary to his expectations, Snape took a seat on Ron's bed and just stared at him without a word.
Harry sat down too, but on his own bed, and started to assimilate this new information. His thoughts were racing through his head, and it was very difficult to concentrate on one special idea. So he just didn't know how to begin and stared at his potions professor questioningly.
There was a long silence in which neither of them dared to speak, so Harry studied Snape more closely. The wizard looked caught, relieved, angry, dissatisfied and very surprised all at the same time. But he looked calm too, something Harry didn't associate with Snape very often. It was a good look on him.
Snape was the first to break the silence and snapped:
"Well, just go to the headmaster, Potter, and make a report. He'll be very disappointed with me and he'll have to send me away, so you'll get your revenge for eight years of humiliation from me."
"What?" Snape looked puzzled at that cryptic reply.
"It was only six years of humiliation. The last two years were the fight against Voldmort."
Snape shuddered at the name of the Dark Lord but didn't interrupt him.
"You stopped humiliating me. But you should relax; I don't want to make a report to Dumbledore. I've been there before, and he didn't help me then, so we'll have to work things out alone between the two of us."
Snape got whiter than pale at Harry's words and seemed to shrink at the realization they brought.
"You what? You've been to Dumbledore about this already?"
Harry nodded, puzzled about the nervousness of his Potions master.
"Because he must have known that I wrote the letter to Weasley just by looking at it. His power is enough to know the creator without any conterspell."
"But if you know that, why did you send it to Ron in the first place?"
"Because I never thought you'd run to Dumbledore at the first sight of complications like an anxious fool who couldn't help himself. You've surely never done such a thing before, you stupid brat. And you would have helped us protect you better if you had done it."
Instead of being angry at the accusations Harry just shrugged and ignored the insults. He thought about his new insight and asked:
"But if Dumbledore knew it was you who wrote the letter, why didn't he at least talk to you? He said he wouldn't help us because he believed Ron and I had lied to him, but…"
There was a long silence again, then Snape shrugged too.
"I have no idea, Potter, I never know what the old man is up to. He has the weirdest ideas."
At this confession Harry actually chuckled and Snape looked at him in surprise. As the Potions master watched Harry chuckle, his face softened in a way Harry found hard to describe. He didn't looked amused himself, nor nice, but he looked -- no, Harry couldn't put his finger on it. It was just there, like the tingle in his stomach that had returned as the deep, dark eyes watched him.
"Yeah, he can really be irritating if he wants to be."
Again there was silence, until this time Harry broke it, first clearing his throat, and then asking:
"'Why' what, Potter? You'll have to be more specific about your questions, if you want accurate answers." Snape growled, though in spite of his harsh words he knew exactly what Harry was referring to.
"Why did you chose me to get all possessive about? I mean, look at me: I look really ugly, so thin, this stupid hair that it's useless to comb, no muscles at all, nearly one whole head shorter than you and then this horrible leg, which will never heal again.
Harry got really agitated at his little speech and started to breathe faster as he continued, "And if it's not my looks, what can it be then? I don't have to remind you that you hate me, do I?"
At that point, the dark Potions master interrupted him to make some things clear.
"I don't hate you. I used to before, but I stopped shortly after Sirius' death. And you don't look ugly. You're no model, that's true, but neither am I. And as far as your leg is concerned, you should be grateful that you're alive. Everyone who has been in a war has scars. Just because you can't see them at first sight that doesn't mean there aren't any."
"So why then? Why do you think I should be yours?"
At that, Severus Snape turned his gaze away, startling Harry. The man had never done that in any confrontation before. So Harry decided to do something entirely new himself and used a word he thought he would never use near his Potions master.
"Please, I really want to know. I won't annoy you with it or use it against you. I promise."
"I don't think you would, Potter. You're too Gryffindor for anything like that. But I don't think that an answer to your question would do us any good. You belong to Weasley and I just have to accept that…"
"Argh! Stop that this instant!" Harry roared, falling back on his back and shielding his eyes from the man with his arms. "I can't believe that you believed that gossip, too. Ron and I are just friends. Only friends, nothing more."
The thin black figure hissed:
"Sure, Potter, the kiss…"
"'The kiss, the kiss' stop whining! It was just a ploy because we wanted to catch you, nothing more."
"I. Would. Never. Whine. Potter!"
Instead of being a statement these words were a threat. Harry gulped, then grinned and added playfully:
"Well, from here it sounded like whining."
Snape ground his teeth against each other, then answered:
"Okay, so you say this was all a ploy?"
"Yes. And as you can see, it worked"
Snape let himself fall back on the bed too.
"Will you answer my question now?"
"Do I have a chance with you anyway, Potter?"
There was the silence again between them both, but then Harry made his decision.
"I don't know."
"It isn't that difficult Potter. Your answer can be 'yes' or 'no'. A really easy decision for a Gryffindor."
"I mean it's difficult to decide."
"And why is that so? Because of your slimy, ugly, old, hated Potions master? I don't believe the answer can be that difficult to give, so don't play with me, Potter."
"First, stop calling me Potter, okay? And second, you just gave me a glorious speech about people not have to be beautiful to be desired. Third, well… I never thought about being with a man before, so…"
"What? You can't be serious Pot… Harry."
Harry shuddered at the sound of his given name in this deep, dark, velvet voice. So he nearly missed the next sentence completely:
"You surely have gotten offers from boys who wanted to date you."
Harry looked puzzled.
"No, I haven't."
"Perhaps did you misread their intentions?"
"Maybe. But I really can't remember any boy asking me on a date."
"What was with that boy, what was his name -- ah, yes, Creevey?"
"Creevey? Colin Creevey? Have you lost your mind? That was just hero worship, that's all."
Harry was shocked to hear the Potions master chuckle at that.
"Well then it must have been hero worship when I surprised him one night behind the Quidditch pitch wanking to a picture of you."
Harry blushed deeply and stuttered:
"You're joking, aren't you?"
"You should me know better, Harry."
"What did you do to him?"
"What would you expect me to do? I took some points from him for being out after curfew and gave him a little detention."
"Would you expect me to have raped him or what?"
"No, just… well. I don't know."
"He wasn't the only one I ever surprised at something like that. Sometimes I'd find a couple too. It's very normal I think. I was surprised myself one night, when I was a schoolboy here."
Harry got big round guppy eyes that seemed to pop out of his head. Snape smirked at his expression. "Really. And it just was my luck that it had to be Minerva who caught us. That was really some kind of embarrassment, I can tell you!"
"I can't believe you just said that to me."
"Does the thought of two men together disgust you, Harry?"
"No, I don't think so. But I don't know if it would make me all hot and bothered either. I never fantasized about it before, so I just don't know."
"So what do you think -- will I have a chance with you?"
"I… I… would you answer my question first, so I can think about that too, before I decide? Why did you choose me?"
"Well, okay, if you insist… the only reason I'm still living is because I had to protect you. I made great mistakes in my life and they couldn't be forgiven easily. Dumbledore took a promise from me the night I returned to the side of light: To protect you until you were able to save us. I didn't like it, but it was a better option than death. And now, I've grown accustomed to you. Your being the only reason I was allowed to live, you became a sort of… of home for me. I couldn't bear to see you with someone other than me. You are leaving this school and me in three months, and that was too much for me to accept without trying to hold you. I know that was a stupid idea…"
"No, it wasn't. I'll give you a chance, but I can't guarantee anything. Do you understand that?"
"Did you just say 'Yes' to me?"
Snape actually looked thrown and puzzled, like he had never considered 'Yes' as a possible answer.
"Yes, I will try it with you. But there are some things we have to discuss first."
"And that would be?"
"First: Ron gets his belongings back."
"That's easy. He'll get them as quickly as I can manage."
"Second: You'll have to teach me."
"I taught you for 8 years, if I'm counting right."
"I mean… at… that… having… doing… getting…"
"Having sex with a man? It's actually not that different from sex with women or girls."
Harry blushed and mumbled.
"Having sex in any way, I mean."
"But there was a time you had lots of dates… I remember Pansy Parkinson for example…"
Harry shuddered. "Yes… but…" he blushed a deeper shade of red "… it just didn't work out right."
"Must I actually answer you that?"
Harry asked nervous.
"No, you don't have to, but that's a part of an intimate relationship, too. If you can't be open about your body and your needs, there'll never be any kind of passion, if you ask me. But these things aren't just there suddenly. You have to work at them to get them."
"And you would be open to me too?"
Perhaps it made Harry believe him in the first place, that he did not answer right away. He thought about it, before telling the young man anything, and he gave him no illusions.
"It had been a long time for me, since I had been in a relationship. I honestly do not know if I am still capable of expressing my feelings to my partner, as it would be properly. But I will try, if that would be enough for you."
"Yes, I think that would be okay with me. So it is a date then?"
"I think so. Do you expect me to wine and dine you, or can we get right to the juicy part of the evening then?"
"I think we can skip the wine and dine part. I do not think it'll help me to decide, if I will be attracted to a man, especially it you are this man. So where will we meet and when?"
"What about this evening, after curfew? I am sure, that you will be able to sneak out your dorm without being noticed by anyone. So at 11 p.m.? To the where, I would say my quarters would be nice for our little experiment, do not you think?"
"Yes, at 11 p.m. then in then dungeons."
"My quarters aren't in the dungeons. How did you get this idea? They are in the teacher area at the west wing of Hogwarts, right between the Hufflepuff and the Ravenclaw towers. Will you find them?"
"Yes I think so, after which door should I look? And to answer your first question, I do not know. I just seemed appropriate for you to sleep in the dungeons too. You do not look like…"
"…like I would appreciate sunrays? Yes I might not look that way, but even I cannot bare the dark all the time around me. Besides all teachers have their quarters up there and the headmaster makes no exceptions in this. Look for a statue of Salazar Slytherin. If you tickle his left ear, he will ask you for the password. It will be 'One two three four five'"
"You're kidding again."
The answering glare made it clear, that the dark potions master did not want to discuss this silly password. Perhaps Dumbledore chooses these as well as his own so Harry kept silent on this matter.
"Okay, I will be there. Should I bring something special with me?"
"Well two tubes of lube would be appreciated and some cuffs and lots of latex if it's not too much effort for you…"
Harry first got pale, then green, then purple. He had massive problems to breath and there was the possibility of a nervous breakdown again. But as he dared to look at his date for this evening he got aware of the slightly turned up curves of the thin mouth. Not a smirk but damn near one.
"Okay, perhaps I do joke sometimes…"
And with a swirling of his dark robes Severus Snape left the Gryffindor dorm, leaving a very startled and nervous young man behind.
Ron could not believe what he heard just two seconds ago.
"You heard me right, Ron. We will have a date."
"You cannot possibly go out with the greasy git… that's… just… ugh…"
"Please, do not speak that way about him. I know he is not a nice man, but a good one. He showed that often enough to anybody who bothered to look a little closer at him and his personality."
"You must be really desperate mate, you should hear yourself talk…"
"Perhaps I am really desperate, but I will try and nothing you could say would change this decision. We made an appointment and I will not chicken out now and cancel this date. So will you help me and stop whining and complaining, or will you leave me and stop talking with me perhaps stop being friends with me?"
"I'll ever be your best friend. We faced too much together to change that. If you want the greasy git… okay, okay, this… this … man… than I will help you get him. But please spare me the details, okay? You know, I have a nervous stomach."
At that Harry laughed whole heartly and gave the tall redhead a light slap on his shoulder.
"So will you help me to dress up a little?"
"Okay, I think, I can manage. Let's see…"
And Ron started to rummage through Harry's wardrobe.
Harry stood nervous before the thoroughly described statue of Salazar Slytherin and tried to gather enough courage to enter the chambers. He was on time now, after being ten minutes to early and waiting under his cloak to pass the time. He had run a hot, warm and calming bath earlier, washing himself in all the places he could think about to clean. He had changed his robes three times, really not knowing what would be appropriate to wear.
And now he was sweating so hard, he needed another bath.
But then he shrugged to himself, gathered his courage and tickled the statue, to give her the password.
As the dorm open he looked directly and the not so calm face of his potion professor. One long second he believed the man would start to sneer at him and taking points from him for daring to visit him in his private chambers. But then, the look changed and the dark voice whispered as if not believing:
"You actually came. I did not expected it, really."
"Should I go again? Did I misinterpret you? I can…"
"Hush, you silly Gryffindor. Come in and close the door behind you. I will not bite you… if you do not want me too."
There was the blushing again and Harry did as have been told. Snape made a step to the left and made an inviting gesture with his hand, so Harry got his first look at Snape's private chambers:
There were only two rooms, which belonged to the potions master. One tiny bathroom at the left side, in light blue colors. The other room, the main room in which they were standing hold an own fireplace at the right side and two large cosy looking armchairs beside it. Looking straight on, there were two large, high windows without any curtains. On the windowsill Harry spotted lots of flowerpots with herbs, which were often ingredients of healing potions.
On the left side of the room, in the corner behind the door to the bathroom Harry saw a large four-poster bed with black satin sheets. It looked very inviting to lie on it and to do other things too…
The rest of the room was stuffed with any kind of book you could think about. It looked like the potions master loves reading anything he could get a grip on.
The shelves and any other furniture were made of pinewood and the parquet was made of bamboo. The ceiling was painted white and the walls had a touch of sand as their color, so Harry felt instantly very cosy at this surprisingly friendly room.
"Do you like what you see?"
"Yes it's great, I thought it would be more dark and more black because of your sense for clothes and so. But I am pleasantly surprised at this sight. May I have a closer look at the books?"
"Do what pleases you. Do you want to have a scotch or something?"
"Trying to get me drunk?"
Harry smirked reading the backsides of the books.
"I suggested a drink to loose you up a little, that is all. I suspect you are as nervous as I am myself."
"Yes I am, but I do not like alcohol much, so I will not need some. But feel free to drink some yourself, I do not mind."
"No, with alcohol I will not be able to enjoy our little experiment much, so I will have to decline too."
"Really, why's that?"
It was clear that Snape had not expected Harry to be interested in his statement and he did not wanted to answer obviously, but did it though.
"Because it remembers me of my days as a Death Eater and dark magic."
"Oh, I am sorry, I should not have asked…"
"No, do not apology. If I would not want to answer, I would not have done it. I will tell you, if you ask a question, I do not want to answer, okay? And remember, you have this right too."
"Okay, I will try. So, what do we now?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I'm not sure where to start. I fear you will have to make some suggestions."
"How about we sit down first of all? If you do not want to use the bed, we can sit first at the armchairs."
"No, the bed's okay. It's really big and it looks very inviting too. I have no problem with it."
They went to the piece of furniture and sat down with at least five or six inches between them on the black sheets. Harry knotted his fingers nervous at their new nearness and did not know what to look at. His stomach felt very silly and his breath hitched a little.
"We can start to talk a little to get more comfortable around each other. That is your great chance, Harry, to ask me things, you ever wanted to know about me. Perhaps it will help you relax."
"Hm, that sounds good to me. Let me see, something I ever wanted to know about you?"
Harry relaxed at an instant as he started to think about this suggestion in earnest, pulled the shoes from his feet, lifted his legs on the comfortable leg and crossed them in front of him. Snape lifted his brow, but did not comment on this sudden relaxing and just mimicked his actions, so they faced each other now sitting cross-legged on the bed.
Suddenly Harry blushed and snapped out of his thoughts, as he very obvious tried to find another topic to think about. He avoided his potions master's eyes deliberately, what the man only got more interested in the unspoken question.
"What is it, you do not dare to ask, Harry?"
"It's stupid, and I am sure it's none of my business."
"Well, at least I can refuse to answer, so just go ahead."
"Has it been Malfoy?"
"What is with Draco?"
"No, not Draco, Lucius Malfoy. I mean, you said, you were caught yourself doing… uhm… you know… Have you been with him, at that time?"
"Me. And Lucius Malfoy. Having Sex. AND being caught."
At that Harry got a reaction he never would have expected: Severus Snape laughed deep and with his whole heart. It was a rich sound, which filled Harry's own heart with joy. His potions master and soon-to-be-lover should really do it more often.
"What's so ridiculous about my question?"
"How the hell get your wicked Gryffindor brain this crazy idea?"
"I do not know, it just seemed so obvious…"
"Like you and Weasley."
At that Harry had to grin and to admit:
"Okay, you have a point there. So you have not been a couple?"
"No, absolutely not! Lucius is straight as an arrow. Besides he is not the type of man I would fancy ever. He's just to arrogant for my taste - and to blonde too."
"So you do not think I am arrogant anymore?"
"No, I do." not
Harry did not know what to answer at that, so he tried to change the topic:
"So, who has it been then, with whom you had been caught? Do I know him?"
"Yes, you actually do know him."
Then Harry got pale again at that suggestion.
"Please do not say it had been one of the marauders."
Harry shuddered at that thought and hid his eyes behind his hands.
"Please now you begin to insult me in earnest so stop this kind of thought this instant."
Instead of the rather harsh words Snape's tone was mocking, so Harry peered through his fingers and saw his potions master smirk at him. He relaxed and asked further:
"So enlighten me. Who was it?"
"Bertie Botts. He was two years above me, but a dream of a man, really. Such a beauty and a real good friend of mine, at that time. We were a couple about thirteen months or so."
"Why didn't it work out?"
"Slytherins do not fancy Hufflepuffs, Severus. Besides you should stop seeing boys and start dating girls to give our bloodline a heir."
Harry asked, certain that it could only be this cruel man who he had once seen at an occlumency lesson in Snape's mind. His professor just nodded and added:
"He and the Dark lord both forbid it and I had to obey. I had no choice in this, but I learned to accept the past and go on."
"Did you get married then?"
"No. They could make me break up with Bertie, but they could not force me to marry a woman I did not love."
"So you are strictly queer? Not bisexual or so?"
"I'm not sure. There had been woman, I was interested in, but not many and the one I slept with to taste it out… it just was not that great, so I do not know.
Because the first time with the men or boys had never been great either and I do not want you expect it to be. The first time is always worst, and the first time with a new lover cannot be great either. How could it be, if you do not know, what the other one likes, how you have to touch to give pleasure. Surely it gets better if you have more experience but any person is different and every human being wants to be treated in a different way. So I want to ask you for not deciding against me, because it will not be earth shattering the first time, I am sure it can get better with every try."
"Don't worry about that. I will be impressed if you get me exited enough to get a hard on, because the girls did not do it for me."
Harry could not believe that he had just said that out aloud. He clasped his hands about his mouth to shut himself up and blushed to the roots of his hair.
But Snape did not laugh about his answer, instead he answered in earnest:
"Perhaps you just put yourself under to much pressure? For a young and inexperienced man that is perfectly normal too. And it's an especially bad situation if the person you are with cannot help you properly because He or she is inexperienced too or puts to many expectations in you."
"It's really not easy to live up to their expectations. I tried to ignore their assumptions, but I was too weak. They just want to have sex with me, because I am The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Defeat-The-Dark-Lord and famous, but not because they like the real me."
Instead of discussing this truth further with the young man, Snape just nodded and pointed another fact out:
"You just said the word 'sex' in front of me. Are you sure, you do not want to blush?"
It was a little bit of cruel teasing and in a normal situation Harry would have felt humiliated, but at this very moment he just grinned and said:
"It seems, that I begin to relax further. That is a good thing, is not it?"
"Yes, that is very good. So what would you want to do now?"
"I'm not sure if I am relaxed enough to try kissing, but what would you say to a little cuddle? I like touching and…"
"Will you let me make a suggestion then?"
"Yes, go ahead."
"Perhaps it would be best if we do not rush things tonight. I am in no haste, and I would be content to make tiny steps in the more juicy direction. It's Saturday night, so why do not you sleep here? If you use your cloak, nobody will see you tomorrow morning and I do not think anybody would miss you in your dorm at your age. And when I say 'sleep' I mean sleep like lying beside me in my bed, snoring and steeling my sheets. What do you think about this idea?"
Harry was flattered. Nobody ever on a date wanted to sleep with him before and only sleep. And he did believe his potions master in this: Why should the man lie to him anyway?
"Yeah, if that is your wish, I think I can master it. But I do not snore, so do not expect it."
"Well if it calms you down, I can snore for two people, if I have to. And if you like this evening, than we can make step one at a time, tomorrow night. So is it a deal?"
"Mhh, Se… Severus?"
The name did not roll Harry easily of his tongue, but the potions master did not comment on it, so he continued:
"Do you sleep… uhm… naked?"
There you go again, the very beautiful deep red of a blush.
Severus blushed for the first time himself, but obviously not about Harry's question. It seemed, that there was a point in his deal, he had not thought about before.
"No, I do not sleep naked, usually I wear a … nightshirt."
"Oh I have not seen a man in a nightshirt before. That sounds very interesting, so you will wear it tonight too?"
"Yes, I thought so. What is about you? Are you usually sleeping naked?"
"No, usually I am wearing pyjamas. Could I borrow any of you?"
"Yes, actually there are some I could give you. But it will not be your size, I guess. It'll be to long for you."
"That's no problem. Actually most of my clothes are to long for me, because my cousin Dudley had worn them before I got them. And he has o problem with his weight…"
"Well, he is fat, if you ask me. He should make a diet."
"Where do you know Dudley from?"
"I… had to be on guard on one of your summer vacations. It was after your third year, I learned to know your… family."
"They aren't my family, okay? The only real family know is here. In the wizarding world. Here are my friends, which I consider my real family, after I've lost my parents and Sirius too. And I will not go back to the muggles, who raised me."
"Do you hate them?"
Harry thought about this question so hard and long, that his hopefully-soon-to-be-lover feared, he would not answer at all. But then, he stated calm:
"No, I do not hate them. I pity them, that is all. And I know, I will never return to them, so I think, that is okay with me. But know I would like to change the subject, if you permit."
"Well, why do not you use the bathroom and change your clothes, to get ready for the night? Wait…"
Snape rummaged through his Drawer and found behind approximately thirty equally black robes a black pyjama, which he has put Harry in his fingers and shooed him away into his bathroom.
Harry didn't hurry, as he disrobed, but held a close look at the door, which one could not lock. He felt a little awkward about his paranoia, like Ron would call it, because Snape had been really nice to him over this whole date. After putting the pyjama on, Harry took in his surroundings and felt oddly comfortable.
It was a bathroom like any other bathroom he had ever been in. Okay, most people probably do not have a well-stocked potion storage drawer, but really, it really explains itself.
After having performed a tooth-cleaning spell, he padded out of the room seeing, that his date has changed his clothes as well. And the nightshirt was … kind of cute.
First of all it was not black, like Harry would have expected it. It was a dark green like needles of a fir tree and made of cotton. It was long and went from small shoulder blades over a thin, tall figure till two bony, white knees. The sleeves went slightly over Snape's wrists, and there was no décor anywhere.
Snape did not wear shoes or socks, so Harry could admire his huge, bony Feet with these long elegant toes. There were some similarities with his own legs: He has huge feet too, and as pale skin, but these wobbly knees looked just like his own. They were as bad and Harry had to chuckle about that understanding.
Snape lifted both his eyebrows at the sound and snapped:
"What's to laugh about, Potter?"
Harry went serious again, but was not angry with his teacher for snapping at him.
"Please do not 'Potter' me, okay? And I just realized, your knees look as bad as mine…"
he lifted one hand to stop Snape answering that and continued:
"But do not worry about it. The rest I see is very pleasant! And this shirt looks really god at you. Where did you buy it?"
One moment Harry thought he had messed this thing between them up, but then his soon-to-be-lover seemed to like his honesty, because he relaxed visibly at Harry's words before answering.
"I did not buy it at all. It was a present."
"No, it was a present from my mother. She gave them away to me at one every birthday of mine. I like them."
"So, what? Do we go to bed now?"
"Yes, sounds good to me. I prefer the left side of the bed, so would you mind to take the right?"
"No, I am not picky at all about that."
They went to bed, where Snape pulled the comforter away, before they slipped under the sheets. Harry shuddered at the formidable feeling of the silk against his bare feet and underarms. If he had known before, how good this stuff feels, he would have used it years before. This action followed ten minutes of awkward searching of a good position for both of them and ended with them both on their sides, facing each other.
"So, should we continue our talk or should we go to sleep now and continue it tomorrow? It's your choice…"
"Actually I am feeling tired, if you do not mind."
"No, I don't. So sweet dreams, Harry."
Snape lifted his right hand and slid his fingers through Harry's short pony. Harry was very startled at that, but felt this touch really comforting, so he added:
"Would you mind a cuddle? No one held me in sleep before, and if you want…"
"Yes, I would like that."
Snape opened his arms for Harry and the young man returned the gesture in cuddling his potions master tight. Being hold, Harry made a little content sigh, listened to the heartbeat right there beside his ear and felt very, very okay with the rest of this crazy world for once.
"Sweet dreams for you too, Severus."
Harry woke to the singing of birds in the trees before the windows. That was strange, because the Gryffindor tower was to high to be near any trees. And he would never go back to the Dursleys, so where the hell was he? And why was his back so warm?
He knew there must be an answer in the fog called his brain, but there was a noise, that was just too loud to think straight. It was a wonder, he could hear any bird at all… but the noise was not steady and there were some were some breaks between the… snores. Yes it sounded like snores, but much louder than any, Ron could produce, so who?
The thought settled and Harry was wide-awake in at least seven seconds. Record even for him who was trained to be awake in the middle of night, if Voldemort would attack.
Now he could feel the breathing of another human being behind him, caressing his neck. Severus Snape lay spooned up behind him, snoring loudly and obviously enjoying himself, thinking about the very prominent erection, which Harry could feel right on the backside of his thigh.
But to his own surprise he did not get upset about that or panicked. He just knew Severus would not be upset about it too, when he will be awake and besides, he sported a very impressive morning wood too.
So he tried to turn over on his other side, because he had a stiff neck, hoping not to wake the sleeping Slytherin. But no chance at all, for Harry. As he turned, Severus stopped snoring abruptly, blinked a few times and focused on Harry's smile. Then Harry went lost, as Snape - the Severus Snape - answered his smile with another broad smile.
"Good morning, Harry."
"Good morning, Severus. Sorry I woke you, it was not my intention to do so."
"Looking at this sight, I do not think I could mind you waking me every day. Besides it's day out there and usually I am awake right before dawn."
"You do not have to sleep longer because of me…"
"It was not my open decision to do so. I just slept better with you here, than I have in many years."
"Yes, I am serious. And what about you? Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, very well. Ahm… Can… Could… hrm…"
"Spill it out, Harry."
"Do you have many work to do today?"
Snape was openly curious.
"Because I do not want to take breakfast in the great hall, this morning. I would like to take it here, together with you, somehow. But you really do not have to… it was a stupid idea…"
"No, it sounds great. Why not? Does this mean, you do not regret staying here last night?"
Harry looked surprised:
"Why should I?"
"Just… perhaps because of this, I thought."
Snape pushed his lower part of the body deliberately against Harry's thighs watching Harry attentive, how he would react to that.
"Well I have to use the toilet in the morning too, and if that is not the point, you try to prove, just be sure, I do not mind it, okay? I do not feel engrossed or something, besides…"
He mimicked Snapes earlier move, grinding his own erection against Snape's belly. That got him a moan of the potions master, which surprised them both, and Harry felt a power rise in him, he just has not known before. So he leaned over and planted a very short kiss on the thin line of the two lips of his potions master. To late he thought about morning breath and blushed furiously before he stammered:
"Sorry, I did not brush my teeth yet… I did not thought about it. So sorry, it was my fault, I…"
"Will you stop rambling already? I really do not mind…"
and he performed a cleaning spell for both of them and returned an even, small, short, gentle kiss to Harry's soft lips.
"Shock? Being grossed out?"
Snape asked serious again.
"No. It felt great. I would like to… again… but… can we… please… in the dark? I am so insecure about my abilities…"
It went absolute dark around them so their breathing which had quickened slightly, was now really noisy, because they could not see each other. Because of gratitude for this nice move Harry leaned over again first, this time open mouthed and darting his tongue out… directly into Severus Snape's … ear.
"I'm really sorry Potter, but that is not my mouth at all."
Not seeing each other Snape could hear Harry blush and chuckled slightly.
"Perhaps the dark was not that a good idea… I see…"
"So let me make a suggestion then."
Snape grabbed his wand again and murmured a spell Harry did not recognize. Around the bed appeared a dozen lightened candles, which gave the room a warm glow.
This time it was the potions master who started the kiss, as Harry caught the gaze of these dark eyes.
Harry felt It was not wonderful or earth shattering like anyone would expect from the usual love stories in books or films. It was a little bit to wet for his taste, but that could be because of his inexperience in this matter. It really was not that other than the few kisses he had shared with some girls over the years. Snape certainly had more experience in this matter, what was very good, because so Harry could learn from him, instead of trying to lead something he did not know about properly.
Snape's mouth was warm and tasted good - for another mouth, Harry thought contemplating if he ever would get used to this open mouth thing - like mint (from the spell) and like something more hidden, like… like Snape. Harry decided, that was a good taste and hoped the potions master would like his taste as much.
Surprisingly they did not part for a long time, since they started this kiss. They just laid back in bed and continued it, sometimes teasingly, sometimes deeper, sometimes exploring each other's mouth and teeth (and tonsils). As they finally parted they looked very relaxed at each other, grinning broadly:
"That was good."
"Yes, it's like heaven. I have not done that in years!"
Snape admitted arranging Harry's brow to lift in curiosity.
"Making out properly. Because of my life as a spy there was no time for a lover. I would have been too dangerous and made me too vulnerable to him. So I restricted myself on some former partner and very short encounters in the past. I missed this here more, than I thought I would."
"That's over now. You are free to have a relationship."
"Yes. It is and I am. And I know, why I chose you, but I do not know, why you are still here. I hardly can believe it. I expected you to run laughing - or being shocked - out of the door at the latest as I took off my nightshirt on, but you
"I do not know how to answer that, Severus. Perhaps I am just a fool Gryffindor, who acts on his feelings, but that is the way I took my whole life. I do not know how to react in other ways. I am still not sure, if I will be able to have a relationship with you. But I want to try. There was never anyone who wanted to sleep with me in a bed instead of having sex with the Great-Harry-Potter. I feel… kind of safe, here with you, and for the moment that is enough for me. But if you do not understand my insecurities or cannot tolerate my behavior, than I should go no. I will not be angry with you, if you decide so."
"You must be more insane than I ever imagined, Harry, if you think I could be able to send you away now. I have been a fool in my life far to often to act after such a stupid suggestion."
They were interrupted by the rumbling of Harry's stomach.
"It seems we could eat something, hm? Shall I talk to the house elves for a breakfast in bed?"
"That sounds great, Severus, I will use the toilette while you are talking with them. I really have to go pee…"
Harry sprang from the bed full of energy and rushed to the bathroom blind to the gaze full of love he was getting from the other man in the room.
After eating a very large breakfast of muffins, ham and eggs, toast, fruits, pumpkin and orange juice, corn flakes and some milk they cuddled again a while in bed, while reading in one of the books, which lay directly beside the bed.
It was after 11 a.m. they got out of the bed and Harry finally made suggestions to leave Severus a little time for himself. He sneaked out of the room behind the potions master and returned to his dorm, where he ran directly into Ron.
"Harry, mate! Where have you been the whole night? Did anything happen? Did you hex him into the next week?"
"No, actually, well… it's not so easy Ron."
"What do you mean? Has he done anything terrible to you?"
"Ron, no! How could you think something like that? He fought with us against Voldemort after all."
"Perhaps because he treated my life? More than once? Here, look only at the letters to get convinced."
"Yeah, but he just stole some of your things and did not do anything bad to you, did he? Thinking about that, did you get your things back?"
"Yes, I got them. They lay here on my bed, as I returned to our dorm two hours later, since I helped you to get dressed for him. So nothing terrible happened?"
"We have a kind of an arrangement, one could say."
"An arrangement. With Snape. You. Sure, when did you say you will go to St. Mungos?"
"Please Ron, I am serious here."
"And I am not?"
"No, obviously not. You know I said I will date him and it was really nice. He promised me, not to push me into anything, I do not want, and I promised to give him a real chance as… as my lover. Ron… Ron? Are you okay, mate? You look pale…"
Ron had to sit down on his bad and took some huge breaths, before answering.
"You just used the word "Snape" and "lover" in the same sentence, are you aware of that?"
"okay, okay. So, you think you are really gay?"
"I do not know, if I am gay, Ron. Perhaps bisexual. At least, the thought of it doesn't gross me out, that made this date last evening very clear. Besides Snape may not be a beauty, but he is kind of attractive. You have to acknowledge that."
"Harry, I will ever be you friend, you know that, but if you will ever try to discuss Snape's attractiveness to me again, I will quit our friendship for ever, do you understand me here?"
At that, Harry had to laugh.
"So you are kind of saying that it's not important to you, if Snape and I have sex, but you do not want to know anything about it. Correct?"
"Then you should stop asking me about my dates with him."
"So you had? Ugh… Oh my God, I think I am sick…"
"No, we have, not yet. But I could imagine to do it soon, but was not that anything you do not want to know?"
"Oh my god…"
Harry laughed at Ron's pale face who started to grin too.
"So are we okay with each other again?"
"Yeah, I think so. Did you wrote this essay for transfigurations? I just do not know…"
It was short before lunch, as Harry decided to make a trip to Severus' quarters. He had finished his homework together with Ron and so he had now plenty of time for a second date.
As he arrived at the statue he knocked at the wooden door hidden in the wall to announce his arrival. After the short "Come in!" he whispered the password and entered. As the door opened he got a thrill out of it, because he just could not believe, such a private person like Snape did not change his password, when someone other than himself knew it too.
"Good evening, Harry. You are early."
"Oh. Should I return later the evening? Or do you have work to do? I do not want to disturb you…"
"Stop babbling, Harry. I am glad to see you. I wanted to graduate essays, but I could not concentrate much, so I came up earlier to read a bit."
"You did not finish your work?"
Harry looked taken aback.
"Yes, what is the problem with that?"
"You're the only teacher I know who is ever in time with the return of the pupil's schoolwork. I mean ever. Like In ever even with having a Deatheater meeting the evening before and coming back really hurt."
Snape got pale at Harry's words.
"How do you know about that?"
"What do you mean? The meetings or your injuries?"
"About the injuries. I was ever careful not to show…"
"… Any pain. Yes I know this. But I saw it though. After those Deatheater meetings you were usually less snappy and we never brew anything at these lessons. You did that because you could not walk around the room like usual, you could not be sure to protect us from injuries. I remember one time, you did not use your wand arm once, you even wrote the pages and all what we would need to study with chalk on the blackboard with your hand. Sometimes it was really obvious, if you know the signs."
"Did you spy on my or what?"
"No, I was aware of the meetings because my scar hurt at these times too. What…"
"What is it, Pot… Harry?"
"What did it feel like? Voldemort calling you?"
"Like being burned alive, every time. Sometimes it was easier to bare 'Crucio', than to bare his call. No one could no what he was up to. You never could be certain, it will not be you, who he wants to torture this call, because he was bored or angry or even happy."
"Yeah, it felt like splitting my head in pieces, the more power he got over the time. But now you are free. We are both free of him and can go on with our life. So let's change the topic again. Perhaps, um… can I kiss you again? It felt really good last time…"
He was silenced with e very deep, gentle and caring kiss. After broking apart and panting slightly quicker Harry grinned:
"And what do we now with your work?"
"I do not think I can concentrate more, if you will be here with me, so the second year Hufflepuffs will have to wait for their essays until next week."
"No, I think we cannot have that. What would you say to another deal?"
"I will decide this after hearing the deal, if you allow."
"We could skip lunch and test instead the loading capacity of your bed a bit, have lunch after our little physical exercise and you could grade the papers after having cleared your mind properly. What do you say?"
"Are you really certain you want to do this? We have all time in the world, there is no rush at all…"
"I'm 18 you know. I am young and I am horny. I thought the whole day about you and how good it felt to sleep last night beside you and how wonderful it was to wake up pressed against your body. I never felt this way before with everyone, so I want to try if it will work with more intimacy too."
"Okay. Should I dim the lights again?"
"No, I want to see you and I do not want to miss your mouth again. Or would you prefer to dim the lights? Then it's okay for me too…"
Snape offered Harry his hand to lead him to the bed. The brave Gryffindor took the opportunity and followed his potions master behind where they sat down beside each other.
They shared a second kiss for this evening and grinned at each other. Harry lifted a hand and followed each line of sorrow at the older man's face with the tip of his index fingers. He signed every deep crease there, every line. He found the light stubbles on the chin and this huge nose, than the thin lips. For one short second, it looked like Snape wanted to suck the digit into his mouth, but instead he placed a light kiss on the finger and took a deep calming breath.
Harry felt great but unsure, what to do. Looking directly into Snape's dark eyes he decided to ask:
"What should I do now? You know, I do not have much experience in this…"
"It is not important, what you do. It's important, that you enjoy it and recall what your partner seemed to like. But do not do anything you do not want to try out, just because you think, it would please me, that is very important, Harry. I will stop you, if there is anything I do not like and you have the right to do exactly the same. Understood?"
"Yes. I will try."
"I thought I'd never actually see the day, when you would actually listen to me and do, what I told you, Mr Potter."
"Stop teasing me… I am nervous enough."
"The teasing is supposed to relax you a little, but obviously it's wasted on a Gryffindor…"
Harry really had enough of the teasing at this moment and did the first thing, which came to his mind: he grabbed a pillow and threw it at his soon-to-be-lover. He gets caught by it and his face showed very clear, that he could not believe in Harry doing such a thing to him. It was just absolutely unreal.
Two seconds later they rolled on the bed fighting like children with pillows, sheets and blankets, laughing loud and happy. The fight went on about ten minutes, before Harry come to rest beneath a very heated potions master who held his wrists down on the bed, sitting on Harry's belly to pin him down. Harry tried to struggle, but he had no chance.
"Okay, you won. I give up."
Snape got this evil glare in his eyes and leaned down to get his prize: a long, intimate kiss. Harry was sure he began to appreciate this silly custom about open mouthed and so. He started to really like it in a wicked way…
He struggled against Snape and tried to get free, as the man above him broke the kiss. Suddenly Snape got pale and jumped up, irritating Harry to his bones:
"What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, it's me, who should be sorry, I should not have…"
Because he did not continue, Harry pushed:
"What are you talking about?"
"Pinning you down on the bed. I was not thinking at that moment and I understand if you want to leave now. I do not deserve you…"
"What's wrong with you? If I would not have been fine with it, I would have said so, you should start to believe me."
"But you are still so young, how could you decide, if it is not shown you in the right way. I am obviously the false person to teach you in this…"
"But I do not want anybody else."
"Then you are the most stupid child I ever met!"
"I'm no longer a child. I stopped it, as I was forced to kill Voldemort. And before you will ask, no I'm not angry with you. Something must have triggered this behavior in you and I want to know what it was. So, will you tell me what happened?"
There was a long silence after Harry's last sentence, but he did not give back an inch. They sat side by side on the bed, propped up on the wall behind and were quiet, thinking. Finally Snape took a deep breath and started:
"My time with Bertie was really great. We were so gentle with each other, sometimes loving. But then I became a Deatheater and there never had been gentleness again. Not even when I was working as a spy for Dumbledore and started to have sex with others than Deatheater again. And because most of the people from the order did not like me I returned to having sex with Deatheaters. I understand if you are now disgusted and want to leave…"
"Just stop thinking this rubbish. I will not leave you, just because of the man you used to be. Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes now and then. Besides all people have the right to be weak sometimes, especially these who have to be strong for others too."
"Are you really serious? Because I cannot bare any more joke about it…"
"I do not joke. And I will show you, if you are still up to it. I know, this broke the atmosphere a little, but…"
Harry shifted in his position, got up from the bed and began to disrobe. He opened his shoes and got them of together with his socks. He did not hesitate as he opened his tie and let it fall onto the floor. Then he grabbed his shirt and shoved it up over his head. The slightly cool air in the room and this intent gaze on his exposed flesh made his nipples harden. He blushed instantly, but continued his disrobing. He nestled at his belt and opened the button of his uniform trousers.
Just then he stopped and looked up to Snape a little insecure again. He should not have done this because he blushed only deeper and made a small squeaking noise at the sight he got. Snape had made himself comfortable on his backside on the sheets, looking intently at him and stroking a very impressive bulge through his trousers.
Harry bit his lower lip at that and gulped.
"Yes. Quite an adequate comment, Mr. Potter."
Snapes voice had gotten lower and more seductive and there was this undertone, Harry had never heard with anyone before. It was making him hard, very hard, in spite of his building nervousness. He started to shiver, as he finally let fall his trousers down, exposing dark green cotton shorts. They were his favorites, because they are utterly comfortable, but he did not know if anybody would find them sexy.
"They match the green in your eyes perfectly. You look beautiful, Harry…"
"No, I do not Please do not lie to me. I am too skinny and too thin and…"
"Stop rambling and just watch me, and then we will talk again about it."
So Snape started to undress too. First his black robe, throwing it at the corner of the room. Then he opened the laces of his black high boots, before exposing these long feet again.
Harry gulped again. He shivered.
After that Snape opened his black shirt, button for button for button for button…
Harry got this idea to just rip these nearly thousand of buttons off. It would be easy to destroy them, burn them… it would have been a satisfaction to do so, he was very sure of that.
Finally Snape exposed his own upper body and Harry marvelled it with his eyes. So many scars. He would not have expected them. Most people perhaps would not find them beauty and Harry agreed with them on this, but he found they suit the dark potions master though. They were a part of him and so it was okay with Harry.
At the fly of his trousers Severus stopped and talked directly to Harry:
"I should warn you, I prefer going commando."
Harry had to clear his throat more than once before he was able to answer that.
"Well, um… okay, just proceed… it'll be okay with me…"
And than the potions master's erection sprang free to be fully appreciated by Harry's good view. He did not saw the trousers connecting with the floor or heard the rustle he was focused on the thighs and the belly and this wonderful world between those two places.
Harry had seen another boys nude, but never another boy nude and erect. He did not expect his mouth to water on it, but this development of things was very appreciated by him. He freed his own erection, which had began to leak against the fabric of his shorts a second before and grabbed a handful sheets to slide under them.
Snape did the same and then there was the first touch of naked skin against skin. It was a bless. The following happened all in a blur for Harry, but that was okay too. They kissed some more, stroked equally pale skin and equally too thin bodies in all places they could comfortable reach without separating any skin contact.
As they began to roll around and to sweat, they found suddenly the right angle: Snapes leg slid between Harry's own legs and they started to ground their groins against each other while moaning occasionally and breathing hard. The friction between them was enough to drove them both into an orgasm, which was too intense to bare alone.
Within twenty minutes since they had began they were sticky and a mess but very content too. They did not fuck each other senseless, they did not made slow love about a whole night but it was a good one for a first time, they thought both at the same time. The rest would follow later, they were both very sure of that, before they sank cuddled together and sticky into a blissful sleep.
"Ron, my sweet, are you sure?"
"Yes, it really happened. He talked with me only one hour before. That is ugh… I still cannot believe it really worked out…"
"Yeah, I never thought I would want to conspire with Trelawney, but obviously they are meant for each other. As she first mentioned it I was absolutely sure she had lost her mind completely…"
"Yes, me too. But Neville, my love, do you have any idea why she would want to pair of Harry with Snape of all people? Okay, they seem to match each other well, but she never before tried to play matchmaker."
"Perhaps she had a good reason for it, but we will not ever get aware of it, will we? So just kiss me, now that you are entirely mine again…"
"Yes, I think, I can do that…"
Albus Dumbledore opened the door to his privet chambers. He wore a silly grin on his face and his eyes twinkled with life. He had just sneaked into the quarter of his potions master and found two of his most beloved people finally in each other's arms. This was a good day… or perhaps it could have been a good day, if he hadn't been a man full of honour.
At least, he should have stayed in Hogsmeade this night to celebrate his triumph instead of coming home to his quarters. But okay, he wanted a favour, now he has to pay for it.
So he took a deep breath, tried a smile and spoke to the nude Trelawney on his bed:
"Shall we start then? I think I made a promise…"