And so...I finally managed to bite down really hard on my tongue and get over my qualms about writing this.
It's not as graphic as Steph - or my friend Hadrienne - probably would have liked. But it's the best that my debilitating embarrassment will allow, so I hope that you'll enjoy it.
This is the "final chapter" of Fifth Sense, even though it's not actually apart of the story.
If you haven't read that story, you can still read this, just with the knowledge that in my other fanfiction The Fifth Sense , Suze is blind - and has been from birth.
...That's really all you need to know.
I hope you enjoy this. For my very first effort, I thought it was...not BAD...
Thanks to Steph, Aina, Char and Hades.
(Well...kicks to Hades...but same thing.)
All my love,
Jesse's surprise for me might have had more impact if I could have seen it...
Alas, the frustrations of a blind-from-birth little mediator like myself.
As Jesse opened yet another mysterious door and pulled me through, I giggled. 'Can you please tell me where we are? It's not like I'm going to peak, you know.'
'Impatient...' he scowled happily. 'Hush, Susannah. We are almost there.'
I grinned in anticipation, feeling a million dollars in my little white sundress that Mum bought for me last weekend. She liked the thought of me wearing skirts and dresses and 'feminine' things, now that I was dating. I guess she wanted to know who wore the pants in the relationship, and was just making sure that the distinction was obvious.
Whatever... I wasn't usually a dress kind of girl, but I have to admit... the dress made me feel pretty for Jesse.
It'd been two months since Jesse's resurrection. In that time, he'd aced his SAT's with flying colours, had been accepted into the local college, and was studying Pre-Med. Of course, living at the rectory was hard for him since it was seriously inhibiting our kissing time... Mum didn't like us making out after eleven o'clock, so I was rather lonely during the nights without him.
Ugh. And to know he was hanging out with PRIESTS...
What if they had a bad influence on him? Okay, well, a good influence then? Abstinence all the way, my ass!
It was getting harder for him to keep saying no to me... I knew that. I kept asking and asking, but he'd softly deny me, and assure me that in time, when things were less crazy, we'd...
So here we were, nearly at his mystery location. I rolled my eyes and continued to follow him, whining. 'Are we there yet?'
He chuckled. 'Oh, querida...you sound like a child.'
I grumbled darkly. 'Shut up.'
'May I say, you look lovely...' he complimented me, his voice dipping low in that devastatingly sexy way it does...
And at long last, he stopped in front of me, holding my hands. 'All right, we've arrived.'
'Finally!' I muttered. 'I could feel the wrinkles coming on and everything, you know. It was really something.'
He tutted me, and then pushed another door open...
The first thing that hit me was the glorious fragrance that intoxicated every taste bud, every smell receptor, and every possible hormone that could have reacted to something so delicious. My mouth instantly watered at the taste that clung in the air.
'Wow!' I breathed. 'What is that?'
'Dinner,' he replied happily.
'Are we at a restaurant?' I asked suddenly, my voice a lot lower. It didn't...sound like we were. There was no idle chatting or anything.
He chuckled. 'No, querida.'
'You made me dinner?' I said in elation. 'Oh my God! But you haven't cooked in like, a century and a half! How the hell did you get it to smell so good?'
I noticed that Jesse laughed uncomfortably at that moment.
'Er...just...something I picked up. Your step-father told me you enjoyed Italian food.'
A warm smile spread over my face. 'Where are we?'
'Aaah, the second surprise,' Jesse replied, obviously grinning. 'This, Susannah, is my new apartment.'
...Oh my God.
My mouth fell open. 'You got your own PLACE!' My heart flipped in my chest rapidly, and I started giggling. 'How?'
'Father Dominic's connections,' Jesse laughed. 'He told me not to question it...but the apartment is only ten minutes away from your home by car- ' which he was still slowly learning to drive... ' –which is liveable. It's a studio apartment, nothing big... There's a small kitchen and a bathroom, and the laundry's outside. It's perfect.'
I was beaming with massive glee. Sorry, but all I could think about was the fact that finally, my Mum couldn't barge in and tell Jesse it was past my stupid 'Kissing Curfew' as she called it...
She is just the most embarrassing thing ever.
'Wow,' I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet, up and down. What? I was excited. 'Wow, wow, wow...that is so cool...'
'I believe that Father Dominic was getting frustrated with my constant presence in the rectory,' Jesse revealed. 'He finally cracked when I told him the nuns kept staring at me strangely... this wasn't strictly true, but the very thought of Padre's children breaking their vows? Yes, I was forced out shortly after...'
His hands came to my hips, and I stopped jigging – reluctantly.
'You sneaky sod,' I tittered. 'Knowing you, I'm sure all the novices WERE staring...'
'Er,' Jesse sounded keen to change the subject, 'I hope you like...pizza...'
I'm sorry, but that had me laughing. Having identified the sharp, delectable smell, I pushed Jesse away. 'You liar! You said you MADE dinner!'
'I did!' he assured me.
'No you didn't.'
Finally, he grumbled. 'Your nose is far too good... fine. I did not. I wasn't anxious to admit that so far, I have yet to master the wicked ways of the kitchen...'
'Should have ordered in Chinese,' I grinned. 'Pizza's way too obvious.'
He sighed. 'It's Italian. I didn't know what to...'
'America's pizza is NOT Italian,' I assured him. 'Trust me on this one.'
He guided me to my seat, helping me to count the steps – I would obviously need to learn my way around Jesse's place, since...excuse the over-confidence, but I expected to be around quite a lot – to the table, and sat beside me. 'I wasn't sure what you liked on your pizza, I'm afraid... their options were so peculiar...'
I snickered. 'I'm sure I'll live...'
He edged a plate toward me, and my investigative fingers located the crust. I picked it up and began eating happily. He too was eating with passion – his zest for food since he came back to life was almost alarming. There was pretty much nothing he hadn't refused to eat. He devoured everything...
I guess a hundred and fifty years can really work up an appetite though. So I'll shut up.
After we had finished our very romantic dinner – hah – Jesse laughed. 'I have another surprise for you, querida...'
I blinked in curiosity. 'Oh?'
He gulped. 'Once again, it seems to rely on my terrible cooking skills... so I thought that maybe we could wage this war together, what do you think?'
'I'm listening,' I smiled wryly.
'Your...mother helped me with this one,' Jesse said kindly. 'I was at a loss as to what we should have for a dessert. And I decided that I'd just live with the embarrassment of you knowing my culinary skills are as good as my current driving skills...'
I snorted. 'Wow, you really must be a bad cook.'
He scowled. 'I'll have to enlist your help in this, Susannah. Your mother recommended I try to make for you, your Grandmother's...chocolate cake?'
I squealed and clapped excitedly. 'Oooh! Grandma's Chocolate Cake!'
'I hope I don't ruin the eating experience for you,' he laughed.
Before thinking, I spluttered, 'Anything with you will always be an eating experience!'
Then I suddenly blushed very red...
I did not just say that.
Jesse did not detect any double nintendo, however. He simply went on naively. 'Will you help me then, Susannah?'
I nodded quickly, still feeling hot.
We started vigorously making the cake. The recipe was pretty complex, since we were making it from scratch. Jesse had been darling enough to buy every single little thing that the recipe required. Eggs, self-raising flour...chocolate for melting...measuring cups...
I pretty much got all the stirring jobs, and occasionally I poured stuff in, always careful I wasn't MISSING the bowl and stuff.
(A/N: Or misspelling the bowl...Steph...)
After all the ingredients had been put in and I was just mixing leisurely, Jesse was all, 'Would you like to taste it, querida?'
I beamed coyly. 'Only if you spoon-feed me...'
He chuckled, obviously quite happy with this answer. He gently tugged the bowl from my taut arms, and I heard the wooden spoon scrape gently along the side of the glass.
I waited patiently, a lazy smile draped across my face.
I could smell the mixture right in front of my nose. I smirked, and raised my eyebrows. My hand went to his hip slyly and I dragged my fingers up his side.
This turned out to be a mistake. He shivered, and dropped the spoon that he'd been holding.
'Mierda!' he exclaimed in horror. 'Oh, Susannah! Your dress...'
I gasped, feeling the wetness of the mixture seeping through a vast section of the material. 'Oh crap...it's white too... It's gonna stain...'
Jesse sighed. 'Susannah, I am so sorry...'
'It's my fault,' I muttered glumly. 'I shouldn't have been all touchy-feely. Especially knowing you obviously can't handle it.'
In spite of the horrible fashion tragedy, Jesse laughed at me. 'Is that a challenge, querida?'
I grinned meekly, distracted. 'Maybe.'
Poor Mum. She'd loved this dress on me so much. She was gonna die when she saw the stain.
Seeing that I was really put out about the chocolate spilling, Jesse made a snappy plan. 'Look, if I put some of this strange chemical mixture on it, and get it in the...washing machine now, we might be able to salvage it.'
My eyes went VERY wide.
'B-but I didn't...bring any other clothes with me – '
'Ah...' Then, I heard the rumpling of fabric, only to learn that Jesse had just peeled off his shirt. 'You can wear this.'
Still with wide eyes, I murmured, 'Oh...okay...'
I don't think Jesse detected any embarrassment, because he would have been the first to back down from this plan. 'I'll just...turn around, Susannah. Tell me when you want me to pass the shirt – '
'Yes,' I stammered, my voice wavering a little. In a good and a bad way.
I, too, turned around and slid out of my dress. The cake mixture squelched as it made the dress stick to my stomach. I wrinkled my nose at the gooiness. 'Um...the shirt – '
'Si.' It was pressed into my fingers.
I felt strange to be nearly naked in front of him. I mean, I had been before...but it had been night time, and there were no lights on and...
He'd been dead then.
Now that he was alive, I just felt so much more nervous.
I yanked the shirt on. It fell to my thighs, just a tiny bit shorter than my dress had originally been. I felt my cheeks redden with embarrassment. 'I'm done.'
His feet shuffled as he turned around, and he cupped my face softly with his hand.
'You look charming, Susannah.'
Yes. Uh huh. I was obviously quite picturesque with my freshly curled hair, my waterproof mascara, my lip gloss, my jewellery...
...and then, the shirt.
Yeah. Real gorgeous.
Jesse, however, seemed quite sincere in his words. 'I'll take your dress to the laundry. I won't be a moment...'
I heard his footsteps disappear. Feeling strange to be standing still in only one place, I fumbled back to the kitchen table, and continued to stir. I wasn't sure, but the texture still felt a little uneven, so I kept stirring until it had a better consistency, and the resistance was only minimal. Meanwhile, I basked in the delightful scent of Jesse's shirt...
It smelt like him. All guy-ish and aromatic. I loved it... it was like a drug: addictive, and amazing while I had it...but hard to survive without it...
I sighed. I'd really fallen hard...
My legs felt a little chilled, due to the absence of anything covering them. Wow, I was glad I'd shaved so thoroughly. Most of the time, I only did to halfway up my thigh. Today, I did the whole leg, running my fingers over my skin critically to make sure I hadn't missed anything.
I was exceptionally grateful that I'd done this.
Jesse's shirt was way too big for me, that was obvious. It draped around my arms with a comfortable delicacy. I smiled in smile of myself, just feeling...happy.
When I was satisfied with the mixture, my hands began exploring the kitchen table for the pan that Jesse had pre-greased for the cake to go in his little oven. I couldn't find it, despite my sweeping.
What I did find, was the carton of the four eggs that we hadn't yet used.
And, um, yeah. They all crashed straight to the floor with loud, painful cracks of eggshells.
'Damn it...' I cursed under my breath.
Jesse's door creaked open once more. 'Sorry that took so long, Susannah, I didn't anticipate that there'd be – what's wrong?'
'I dropped eggs!' I said in exasperation. 'I'm sorry, I'll clean it up – '
However, my speak was cut short by a piercing shriek, as my feet met the slippery egg concoction on the floor, and I fell on my ass –
...But not before flailing my arms in urgency, and knocking the entire cake mixture onto myself.
The cold, sloppy mixture splashed all over my face, hair, chest, Jesse's shirt, and a little on my legs. My face was frozen in pure shock.
'Querida, are you all right?' Jesse asked quickly, his footsteps rushing over, 'You suddenly disappeared – '
My stunned stupor died, and I frowned. 'I can't believe I just did that...'
He still didn't talk.
However, the sudden irregularity in his breathing alerted me to the fact that he was trying very, very hard not to laugh.
And cracked up hysterically.
I blinked, still sitting on the floor in my puddle of chocolate cake and eggshells. His laughing was truly...manic. I mean, I didn't think it was so funny. I could have been seriously hurt or something. In fact, there was nothing funny about the situation at all. What if I'd cut my feet on the eggshells? And I was bleeding to death? That didn't strike me as particularly comic.
It seemed, though, that my current appearance was too much to bear.
He was still laughing very, very hard.
'Oh, shut up,' I scowled. 'Help me up!'
I extended my hand expectantly, glowering, and he met it with a large, warm one. Only, mine was still very slippery, and as he went to hoist me up, my slimy hand slid right out of his and I once again landed on my butt.
This sent him into fresh peals of hilarious.
'Hmph!' I expressed in indignation. I feared getting up on my own...I'd just slip again on the eggs and the cake, and that would make him laugh at me more. 'It's not that funny!'
'Querida...you...you look – ridiculous...' Jesse cackled, breathless. His hand thumped on the table, as if he suddenly needed support. Either that, or he feared falling, he was still laughing so hard.
I sighed, waiting impatiently for him to get over it. A blob of mixture dripped off of my nose during this long period of time.
And then finally, he breathed, chuckled once more, and started apologising.
'You done?' I checked, irritable.
His hands came to support my beneath my armpits, and he dragged me to a standing position. I grabbed his shoulders, realising too late that they were covered with cake.
Of course, my feet once again could not grip the floor due to the sliminess of the ground, and I stumbled right into him, transferring all of my chocolate-y goodness onto his bare chest. It squelched unpleasantly beneath my body.
That made him snort in unexpected humour, and he started over with his stupid laughing again.
'Stop laughing!' I said in a strangled voice.
He didn't. I could feel his body shaking hysterically against mine. Whilst a part of me relished this, the majority of me was pissed. 'Fine. Going.'
This proved problematic when his arms forcefully bound me to him. 'No you're not, querida.'
'I am so!'
'Try to get away,' he taunted me, affectionately. 'I dare you.'
I squirmed in his hold. This was a fruitless endeavour. 'Let me go.'
He sniggered. 'Not on your life...'
'Then stop laughing at me! Or I'm seriously going home.'
Another chuckle escaped him. 'Oh yes...wearing just my shirt, and an entire cake's worth of mixture?'
I fell silent, and just glared.
With a humoured sigh – I was suspicious that he was once again trying to stop himself from cracking up – he said gently, 'Sorry, Susannah...but you really are a sight at the moment...'
I bit my lip, and admitted with a flush, 'It's all sticky...'
He was chortling softly still. 'Would you like to get cleaned up?'
I nodded. '...Yes...'
He ran his hands down my shoulders. 'Dios, Susannah...is there anywhere that you did not manage to get cake on you?'
'Yes!' I snapped fiercely. 'There is NONE on my back, for your information!'
He investigated this claim, his hands roaming down my shoulder blades to the small of my back. Then, adventurous, he journeyed that little bit lower to the egg-y wetness of my butt. 'Oh?'
I blushed, pouting. 'Okay...shut up...'
Cheerfully, he assured me, 'Let me get this cake mixture off of you first, Susannah.'
If I'd been expecting him to go get a damp face washer or something, I was in for a big surprise as his lips suddenly came to my forehead, and I felt the hot wetness of his tongue licking Grandma's Chocolate Cake off of my skin.
My breath caught sharply in my throat.
I tensed, caught completely off guard. He sniggered breathily against my forehead, and his lips kissed the slight bridge of my nose.
Despite my determination to remain pissed at him, I was powerless against the tiny smile that crept to my lips.
His lips wandered to my cheek, kissing and licking the chocolate mix away, leaving dangerously tingling skin. When his mouth hit my jaw, I sighed lasciviously...
His lips smiled against me. 'This is more effective than I thought...'
'...Shut up,' I breathed impatiently.
His laugh was soft, before his delighting lips descended to the curve of my neck. My head fell back and my eyes jammed shut. My hands went rigid, gripping his shoulders with more force than was really necessary. I felt his own hands both on the small of my back. His fingers curled slowly, catching the fabric of his shirt and eliciting sensations too dangerous for me to handle...
And still, he continued to cleanse my chocolate-stained skin.
His tongue worked my neck quickly and lightly. My face creased, and desire began flooding me, swirling with my blood throughout all the veins in my body, craving him to never, never stop doing that...
His hands, strong and capable, dragged back down the length of my arms to my own hands. He raised them in front of my face.
'Your fingers,' he commented, 'are covered.'
My lips quirked up, and I gave up trying to remain annoyed. 'Yeah...they are.'
This was soon rectified when he slid my fingers, one by one, past his lips, where he sucked slowly...
Blood rushed to my cheeks, hot and bothered. I giggled as I felt his tongue on the underside of my ring finger. He was doing it so slowly...it was driving me insane...
When this had been accomplished, he pulled away, and sighed heavily. 'Never have I seen so much chocolate cake...'
'We are eating it a little earlier than expected,' I noted, my voice a lot more gusty than I had counted on.
'We've got a long way to go,' Jesse concluded.
And with that, his hands fell to my waist where he lifted me up with a grunt of exertion onto the kitchen table. My heart thudded even faster, and my chest was heaving. My legs were dangling over the side of the table, until he came to stand between my knees.
Before I could question his desire for a change of position, I felt his fingers on the buttons of the shirt I was wearing...popping out the first that he'd left done up...then the second...
Then he worked from the bottom, until only the middle button still held fast. The one right over my chest.
My eyes were very wide.
I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck. 'What are you doing?' I asked him.
He laughed, and didn't reward me with an answer.
Not a verbal one, anyway.
Instead, I felt his mouth suddenly against my collar bone, sucking away the offending chocolate once again. The pleasure shot through my body so quickly that my thighs were squeezing his waist relentlessly. I spluttered something incoherent which no translator alive could possibly understand.
His face was warm against my skin, breathing hotly as he buried it against my neck, kissing, licking, tempting...
I whispered his name, and my world spun like mad. I couldn't feel my toes. They were lost in a numb oblivion...and it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he never ceased this wonderful act. Because then the pleasure would stop...and I was intoxicated. I needed to remain that way...
It was almost scary, the way he made me feel. The power he had over me by just mere touch. The reactions that he unknowingly forced out of me... the pounding of my blood, the dizziness, the groans that I battled to hide, the coursing desire, my shaking lips, my sudden inability to breathe...my erratic heartbeat...
I begged for it.
To my shock, he moved to my chest. My arms untwined, and my fingers shot straight to his hair, pressing hard against his scalp. A whimper escaped the tightness of my throat, and he pulled away.
And he chuckled.
He CHUCKLED at what he'd reduced me to.
Well, this wasn't particularly flattering. I mean, I was frustrated like I'd never been; I was throbbing in places both embarrassing and strange, and getting laughed at while in this state was a very bad move for him.
I shoved him away, snapped my legs shut, and slid off of the table, infuriated.
'Querida...come now, I was only teasing – ' he tried to coax me, but I shot him a glare.
'You keep – laughing at me!' I whined immaturely. I sucked in a huge breath, and shoved it out of my lungs angrily. I wanted him, desperately. But he wasn't going to have me, laughing like that.
'Querida,' Jesse said, his voice suddenly perfectly serious.
I hugged my arms around myself, and breathed hard. I felt torn between pride and lust. I wanted him kissing me... but I was so angry at him, for no logical reason. It wasn't satisfying to just be angry at him though. Which was where I came undone.
Agitated with my longing, I scowled at him. 'Just kiss me...'
Keeping in any laughter he may have wished to express at my absurd indecisiveness, he wandered over to me and finally, his mouth seized my own. The twisted knots of aggravation in my stomach suddenly fell apart, dying away as I surrendered over everything of me to him. I was in a right state, where I wanted him so badly it hurt.
I know it sounds strange, but honest to God, the painful pounding of my body was hard to bear...not when I knew that he could slake it with such ease...
I moaned into his mouth, entreating him to appease me.
He was getting pretty into the kiss too, when suddenly his fingers came to my curls, only to squish against the cake mixture that was still clumped on my head.
I groaned, and my forehead fell forward against his chest. The thought of him sucking on my hair really, REALLY wasn't a turn on. 'This sucks.'
Jesse sighed. 'I guess I missed a spot.'
My lips twitched into a vexed smile. 'I'm such a clutz.'
'I won't disagree,' Jesse said jokingly. 'However, we really do need to do something about your hair.'
'Ideas?' I asked. 'I'm all ears.'
No. Really. I was. Hah.
He considered this thoughtfully. 'You could always take a shower...'
I shrugged, hoping that maybe the hot water would help me to pull myself together and stop acting like goo. And also, get the chocolate goo OFF of me. 'Yeah, all right.'
He led me to the bathroom. It was a little cold in there. I bit my lower lip anxiously, hoping he wouldn't just dump me in here and run, leaving me to fend for myself and...you know, have to try to actually find the shower and stuff...
Thankfully, he guided me to the left, and, pushing his hand through something that rumpled noisily – the shower curtain, I guessed – he twisted something that sounded rusty and unused, before there was a spluttering sound of water, before it fell with speed and force. He adjusted it some more, making it hiss louder, before he announced that it was at a reasonable temperature.
I swallowed, and my heart was sky-rocketing. 'Um...'
I shuffled nervously, my cheeks tinged. 'Um...do you...'
He seriously didn't know what I wanted.
'...Do you...wanna come in too?'
His tone changed completely. 'Oh. Oh...Susannah, I shouldn't.'
I narrowed my eyes. 'Why shouldn't you?' I demanded, suddenly defensive in light of the rejection. 'It's just water, Jesse.'
Jesse sighed. 'Water, yes. And you...and me.'
I quite liked this equation. Very much. What was his issue with it?
'So?' I prompted, hands on my hips. 'What's the big deal?'
He grumbled. 'I just...I shouldn't, all right?'
My lower lip jutted out, and my eyes reduced to slits. Fine. If I had to play with him...than I'd play with him. AND, I wouldn't feel guilty about it.
I sniffed, and turned around jerkily, facing the shower curtain. 'Whatever.'
And then, I undid the final button, and slowly let his shirt fall from by back, gathering around my feet in a messy pile. There I stood with my back toward him, vulnerable and chocolate-coated.
I smirked at the sound of him swallowing...
He was frozen. Perfect. I didn't want him moving.
I proceeded further, to unclipping the back of my bra. It was proving kind of difficult – not the smooth, sexy movement I'd been aiming for – but I got it off in the end. I let that fall too.
Then, I shook my mane of damp, sticky hair. I ran my hands in slow, calculated movements, over my hips...up my sides, making even me shiver, so my fingers caressed the undersides of my breasts just barely...before I disappeared into the depths of the shower.
And within five seconds, I heard a chaos of clanging and movement, before Jesse was right behind me.
...Pants still on.
Um. Wow. Maybe I'd been a little too hard on him.
The water pelted down on my back, harsh and hot. It was kind of awkward getting used to the needle-sharp pins, but my skin became numb to it after a while. Amidst the steam, I could feel Jesse breathing hotly against my neck.
'That wasn't very nice of you...'
I grinned, and turned to face him. 'See? It's not nice being teased, is it?'
'I was just laughing at you! I didn't – '
'Yeah. You totally didn't get me all hot and bothered, all that stupid kissing-up-cake stuff, and then suddenly – '
He pressed me back against the wall of his little shower, and I moaned on impact. The tiles were freezing! I felt Jesse's clothed legs press between both of mine, and I gulped, hard.
Um...my gulping was the only...hard thing.
Oh God, the feel of his bare chest against mine...my breath rasped along my throat, and my mouth fell open.
'Hot and bothered, querida?' he asked me slyly.
My breath shuddered, and I turned my face away, attempting to hide my blush. 'Your...pants are getting all wet...' I pointed out.
'Why, so they are. And you have no one but to blame but yourself.'
His hand slid to my back, arching me against him. He kissed my forehead, and then pushed my head forward to it rested against his chest. He then proceeded to cup the top of my face, making a little shelter for my eyes as he pulled me away from the wall so my head was beneath the fierce cascade of water.
Heat drenched my hair instantly, and all the dry chocolate fell away. I squinted my eyes, unsure if his little hand-shelter thing was going to be completely effective.
It was, though.
Once my hair was so saturated it fell straight, Jesse released me from the torrent. The air was thick with steam, and it was hard to breathe entirely. Eyes still jammed shut, I heaved in a huge breath so as to keep my brain working.
Okay, Suze...calm down...
'Are you all right?' Jesse asked me softly, his voice barely audible over the piercing thrashes of the water against the shower curtain. It was really loud.
I nodded hurriedly, trying to keep the water dripping off my hair from getting in my eyes. Jesse's hand wiped away the offending locks.
I rubbed my eyes and blinked them open gingerly. 'Is all the cake gone?'
'...What?' he seemed confused. Dazed, even.
'The cake in my hair.'
'...Oh...er, yes, it's...it's gone.'
The water continued to make a racket against the curtain. I turned my head a little as water trickled down my face and fell off of my lips. My hands firmly maintained their place on Jesse's sides. I felt strange...
Dripping wet, and strange.
The burning need had come back for revenge, and I didn't know what to do about it. Here I was, in a steamy hot shower with the guy I loved more than life, death or existence, and I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
Isn't that just so typical?
I twisted my head back to face him, appealing to him with sightless eyes. My nervousness must have been bleedingly obvious, because Jesse gently pulled me against him, just holding me with strong, hard arms that I adored being held by.
Then, I felt Jesse's nose against my neck and I stiffened, smiling. Good...I was hoping he'd make the first move... I felt too embarrassed to. His lips were soon delighting the sensitivity of my throat with long, lingering kiss, scraping very occasionally with his teeth.
I moaned in gratification, and my hands finally left his waist and fell to the zipper of his new pants. I started anxiously pushing it, and then I forced them down to about his thighs when I couldn't reach any lower without having to break away from his kisses. He seemed to sense this predicament, and managed to kick off his own clothes instead. I returned to him properly, pressing against him in need. He hadn't taken his boxers off yet.
Yes. Jesse had been thrown into the twenty first century and had made the life-altering choice...
I could feel everything about him...the excruciatingly wonderful heat that his body radiated...the flexing of taut muscles in his arms, the firmness of his abdomen, the light dusting of hair on his chest...the slight quiver of his knees whenever I raked my nails down his sides...the intimidation that pressed against my thigh...
His fingers weaved in my hair and he kissed me chastely, his tongue sweeping my mouth. I whimpered, feeling frustrated that this wasn't faster...the water felt too cold, and everything seemed so shaky... I needed my clarity back, and I'd only regain it once my fierce desire had been quenched.
'Jesse,' I begged, pulling away from his lips. I didn't know what to ask. I felt so awkward, asking anything. I had no idea what I wanted; no idea what I needed from him to make me stop feeling so desperately urgent, like I was going to explode with the backlog of electricity crackling through my body with no direction...
I was panting. I was totally freaking out. I was confused, and trembling and scared and hot and dizzy and I needed something so badly...
Whatever it was, Jesse just...knew.
His gentle fingers suddenly pushed my underwear, still clinging wetly to me, down. They fell to the floor with a tiny splash.
Then his hand caressed me intimately.
And I screamed.
It was literally torn from my body, unexpected as it was unwilling. Shyness wasn't even an option, then. I jammed my mouth shut again, trying to keep silent, but I was hopelessly unable. I was shaking very much now, and my nails were digging into the skin of his shoulders. Somewhere in my mind, I feared that I was drawing blood, but I was too disorientated, too distracted...
Each stroke of his fingers was an apocalypse. Everything just...crashed around me – in my mind. I throbbed around his fingers violently. I buried my face against him chest, gritting my teeth hard and wheezing. It was so good... oh my God...
I could hear the spasmodic music of his heart. He was breathing almost as hard as I was. His hand never stopped... I died, over and over again.
But I didn't...you know...
When my knees completely buckled beneath me, he stopped and quickly caught me before I crumbled to the shower's floor, adorned with our excess clothes. 'I'm sorry...I don't know why I – '
'Shhh...' he soothed me, stroking my back. 'Are you okay, Susannah?'
I felt so dizzy...the waves of pleasure had been overwhelming.
'No,' I said honestly, and laughed at nothing. 'Not really...'
I clung to him, addicted to his heartbeat.
'I take it you...liked that then,' Jesse stated, sounding pleased.
I just nodded, wordless.
'Oh,' he said. 'Good, then.'
Another flare of anger blazed within me, once again with no motive or purpose. GOOD, THEN? He just – you do NOT just say 'Good, then,' after you do THAT...after you completely devastate a girl like that –
I went to tell him so, but I just slewed out something that was neither English, Spanish, nor anything known to man. Okay...he'd disconnected my brain too...his plan all along...
I tested the function of my knees, and was satisfied again with my ability to stand. He went back to kissing my neck, and palming my breasts slowly, teasing me occasionally between his fingers. Oh, my...
My forehead was on fire, and I ached to be touched like that again...
'Jesse,' I said breathlessly. He paused and growled a little rather than using words to reply.
My lips were shaking again. My inability to ask for what I wanted was truly a debilitating curse... 'I – I want...'
His hands fell away from my chest completely. 'What is it, Susannah?' he asked cordially, his voice so low it could have scraped the centre of the earth.
I frowned heavily. I seriously had no way of dealing with pleasure. I was everything encompassed in the word "embarrassment." It was like I was drunk for the very first time, and my body couldn't stand the alcohol...
Not that I was going to vomit up pleasure or anything.
I tried again. 'Can we...I want to – um...make love again...'
Terrified that it sounded corny the moment it spilled from my lips, I shut my mouth fiercely and looked away, desperately awaiting the reply. At this point, if he said no, I could have cried. I wouldn't have argued. Pleaded a little, but I had no will to argue or demand.
However, I think he needed it just as badly as I did then, because his response came to me, phenomenally good.
'As you wish, Susannah.'
I think he'd been praying for me to ask.
No, really. The moment he said that, the water was suddenly shut off and he'd scooped me up against him and was hopping out of the shower. He set me down, wrapped a towel around me – with which I haphazardously dried myself – and then when he picked me up again, still clad in my towel, he was inexplicably dry, save his dripping hair and his wet boxer shorts which had survived the entire shower.
After a flurry of anxious transport, he laid me down on his bed majestically. I held the towel to my chest as trails of water ran down from my saturated locks.
Then, I heard what sounded like, if I'm not mistaken...
...The annoying rattle of a plastic bag.
Jesse poured the contents onto the bed, and sighed. 'All right...I'll need your help here, querida.'
I blinked, oblivious as to what the hell he was on about.
'I went to the drug store, and...well, I panicked. There were so many kinds, and I wasn't sure which you'd prefer – I had no one to ask, so I just...I got them all.'
'What are you talking about?' my brow furrowed in slight frustration.
Jesse stammered. 'W-why...condoms, Susannah.'
'Oh!' I gasped. 'Oh, right.'
Wow...that was so considerate...
'You got them ALL?' I demanded in shock. 'Jesse, there's heaps of kinds!'
'I know,' he sighed mournfully. 'They're all over the bed...I told you, I panicked. The boy at the counter just stared at me and said, "Wow, sir...you really mean business, don't you..." It was horrible – '
My eyebrows shot right, right up. And I giggled a little, behind my curled fingers. 'Um, sorry to disappoint you, Jesse. But I know as much about these things as you do. Which is to say, not a lot. Except that they make awesome water balloons.'
Jesse cleared his throat, keen to get back on topic.
'All right,' he said, sounding as if he was randomly selecting boxes before throwing them back. 'There's...er, lubricated...unlubricated...'
I started giggling again.
'Susannah,' he chastised. 'You're not helping.'
'I'm sorry,' I apologised, trying to control my nervous hysteria. Oh God, how embarrassing...
He soldiered on bravely. 'Uh, ribbed...glow-in-the-dark – '
He coughed, realising I wouldn't exactly be able to enjoy the spectacle. 'Oh...yes, that was stupid – '
'I was kidding.'
Man, he was as nervous as I was.
'Ah. Well, there's...strawberry, chocolate-flavoured...' he sounded very suspicious of this kind. 'Why ever would one need their contraception to be flavoured?'
I sighed, and gave him a sarcastic look.
He dismissed them immediately. 'Definitely not...what is magnum, querida?'
I started giggling uncontrollably again. 'Um...I think they only make them for really egotistical guys like Paul.'
This put Jesse right off. 'I do not want to use Paul Slater's condom.'
'Querida, stop laughing!' Jesse pleaded in a strangled voice, embarrassed like hell. I would have sing-songed an 'I told ya so,' or two, but I was too busy giggling. Seriously, both of us were really immature about this whole thing.
'I don't know which one,' I admitted, getting a hold of myself. 'You pick.'
'Are you sure?'
'I really don't care,' I admitted guiltily. He sounded crestfallen that his efforts had been so dully received.
'Um,' he mumbled, unsure. 'I'll just...examine the packets again – '
'Jesse!' I whined, 'please, just grab any one! It really doesn't matter; I just want to be with you.'
'But last time, it seemed like you didn't enjoy it as much as I did – '
'I wonder why,' I rolled my eyes. 'It wasn't like I'd done it before.'
'Neither had I,' he retorted.
'But – you're different. You were – '
'No, a guy. It's not supposed to feel all funky your first time...'
Jesse sighed. 'I'm sorry, Susannah... I don't want to be so focused on myself. I just want to make you feel good when I make love to you...'
I blinked quickly, and swallowed as a giddy wave of adoration rinsed over me warmly. My lips curved up into an affectionate smile, and I ran my hand down his face.
After savouring that moment, he said impatiently, 'This packet says, for her pleasure. Perhaps we'll go with this one?'
I immediately agreed. 'Whatever you think...'
'All right. Done.'
In his haste to push his boxers down and put it on, I heard a loud snap and a sharp hiss of pain, followed by a slew of Spanish cussing.
'What happened?' I asked in frightened concern. 'Are you okay, Jesse?'
His voice rasped slightly. 'Oh, I – nothing, I just...nothing – ' There was another crackle as he tore a second one out of its packet. 'These are so peculiar...they've got strange lines around the...'
Sigh. Trust my Jesse to be making absent-minded observations when he's whacking on a cock sock.
After a moment of irregular breathing, Jesse said, 'All right, I'm ready...'
'Good,' I said in relief, wanting him direly.
Jesse, loosing a lot of his awkwardness, crawled over me, peeling my towel back and smoothing over my body with slow, moan-inducing strokes. He chuckled a little. 'Oh but querida, I cannot rush this... I have to make you suffer a little first.'
I shook my head in alarm. 'No! No you don't!'
He didn't seem to agree though.
I got this point loud and clear when I felt his lips suddenly against my stomach. I shuddered, biting my lip against the manic giggles that wanted to come out. I mean, it felt amazing, but it tickled...
He kissed me all along my stomach, quickly and heatedly. I seized a fistful of his bedcovers, squeezing it in my hand fiercely. God, I was about an inch from insanity.
His fingers, firm and hot, stroked my sides and made me shiver. He liked it when I did that. Shivered, I mean. I knew, because once again, he laughed softly at me.
I moaned loudly. 'Okay, that's enough suffering,' I insisted in a voice that could not have possibly been mine.
'No,' he murmured huskily, his breath like fire against my skin, 'It most certainly is not...'
'Jesse,' my voice crackled frantically. My toes curled and I tried to steady my breathing. 'Really, it's – just...come on!'
His lips dragged torturously, very low on my stomach and I whimpered, shaking.
He was completely taking his sweet time. It wasn't fair. I was breathing so hard that I worried I had a fever again, or something. More than likely it was just a reaction to everything that was happening.
Swells of pleasure rippled through me, hot and fast. I twisted my upper body to the side, frustrated. My voice crackled as I urged him breathily once more. 'Jesse.'
Surely it was hard for him to be waiting like this, right? I mean, I know I was on the receiving end of it all at the moment, him kissing me with such skilled seduction and all, and I was the one that was going absolutely mad with fierce lust. But he had to have wanted it as badly as I did...
I voiced something of that manner, breaking off with a sharp sigh as his hard, sweltering chest moved up and pressed against mine as he kissed my neck. In my ear, he breathed, 'You act as though doing this to you isn't a pleasure in itself, Susannah...'
What was THAT supposed to mean?
He liked getting making my blood burn and my heart pound and my head sway and my body writhe and ache in anticipation like that? I mean – God knows I loved it... but it was blatant torture!
I tensed beneath him. His arm that had been sweeping across my skin then dove beneath me, so it caged me against him as his kisses assailed my throat. His other hand caressed my breast with just enough pressure to drive me wild. I could feel each of his individual fingers, pressing against the soft and screaming flesh. Then, as his fingers stroked one of them...his mouth slid down to the other.
I jolted in pleasure, seizing his shoulders.
Bizarre noises were sliding to and fro from me, and I was powerless to silence them. I had to admit though...the very thought that I was giving him some pleasure at least, even though I wasn't trying to yet, was deeply satisfying. I mean, I WOULD have tried if he could have given me a chance to catch my breath.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't focus purely on what was happening in the present, rather than what was going to happen in the very, very near future.
I knew fire, now. I'd seen what it had looked like that night down at the beach where vision had graced me, and I had felt its superior heat. I'd heard it roar as it twisted fiercely, its intensity burning into my memory forever. I knew how unstoppable it was.
There was a fire inside me now. It clawed hotly within me, making my body burst into flames and beg to return to sanity. My hands came to either side of Jesse's warm face and I said heavily, 'Enough.' I prayed he'd show mercy. Because I was shaking.
The muscles in his arms flexed as he pulled his torso away from me with a groan of longing. I felt every wheeze of warm, rapid air against my face, in sync with mine. And then, thank GOD, he didn't question how ready I was.
Must have been pretty damn obvious, though.
'Te amo, querida...' he whispered.
I love you.
That meant I love you.
My heart melted from a fusion of the warmth of his words, and the crippling, fiery need within me. My knees rose in desperation, and he settled between my thighs. I bit my lower lip and defied my need to breathe, succumbing to the scintillating sparks of his heat.
'Are you – ' he went to ask, but I spluttered an urgent, 'Yes!'
Golly. Couldn't forget to act like a gentleman just this once, could he.
If I'd had the misconception that once he was inside me, the flaming desire would go away then, I was so, so wrong.
Gently, he eased himself into me.
And with a jolt, the fire flashed.
...Oh my God.
I moaned as my heart staggered. Jesse stroked my face softly, kissing my creased forehead. I gritted my teeth against the discomfort. Opening my eyes wide, I - in theory - looked up at Jesse expectantly. He wasn't moving...
'Are you all right?' his voice was so low, like he was struggling with something. 'Am I hurting you?'
I winced. '...I forgot it was so big...'
Jesse laughed huskily, surprised. 'You flatter me, querida.'
'No - I meant – '
But he shushed me and kissed my lips with an overwhelming purity. I drank it in, hungry, as my arms suddenly pulled firmly so his hard chest was against mine. This made him unintentionally plunge deeper into me. I gasped as a spasm of something white-hot forked within me. My thighs squeezed against him harder. My throat was dry and closed. I was still trying to fully deal with the shooting thrill that had just taken me over -
...And then he moved again.
My mouth gaped open as I dragged air down my throat. Everything below my stomach was either numb, or throbbing. And not all of the throbbing things belonged to me. I blinked my eyes open again, shaking.
'I love you,' he growled, his voice once again a lot lower and more gravelly than I'd ever heard it. He nuzzled his nose against my neck affectionately, whispering soft, fast Spanish. I don't know what he said, but it lulled me all the same.
Then, he started rocking...slowly and carefully at first. My heartbeat shot through the roof, as did my temperature. I could feel my blood coursing, fused with a blind passion that I didn't fully understand. My fingertips felt like they'd swept through flames as they burned against his back.
The sensation of him going so deep within me was strangely a lot more amazing than it had been the first time. Then, I'd been kind of waiting for something...you know, really good to happen, and I hadn't know what to expect. It had felt good after a while, but I'd been scared and stiff and it was still sore and I was totally not used to it. I hadn't wanted him to know that though, because I could tell that he'd enjoyed it. That had made me happier than anything...
But now. Now was completely different. Suddenly now, I felt ready and receptive to his thrusting. He still wasn't going very fast, and he was still kissing my neck soothingly and gliding his hands over my breasts, but below, the fire was roaring. It licked and swirled within my abdomen, sparks igniting and multiplying and growing, faster and hotter than ever.
His name echoed off my lips, and I twisted my head to the side. One of his hands entangled its fingers into my hair; the other slid to my hips, gently pushing me upwards as he pressed even further within me. I moaned in longing, panting. My breath was a torrid mist...
I could hear Jesse groaning. One of my legs curled around his, sliding up till it was wrapped around him. His body was so hot against mine... I don't know who was the ultimate source of heat. Warmth was pelting me in glorious waves, bathing every inch of my body. My head fell sideways even more and I buried the side of my face against his cool pillows, trying not to surrender totally to the heat or I'd get a fever or something -
But Jesse, still moving rhythmically, said, 'No, querida...' and he gently cupped my face, turning it so it was toward him. 'I want to see you...'
I didn't understand why, but I didn't want to deny him of any pleasure that he got from watching me gasp beneath him. He kissed me quickly, breathing hard and fast.
The fire within would not be tempered. Suddenly it had seized me completely behind walls of fierce flame, and I didn't know how to escape. My eyes jammed closed fitfully, and I moaned in some panic now. The coursing, all-consuming fire burned as my desire roared even higher. I grabbed Jesse's upper arms, trying to pull him closer than he already was - I needed to do something to alleviate the churning feeling that tornadoed inside me with fiery need.
'Susannah - ' he panted, but I only moaned louder.
He stroked my hair and his lips captured mine. His tongue swept through my mouth, pushing me further off the cliff that dropped into a cavern of fire. I didn't know how to ask for what my body was screaming for though - I felt so awkward about uttering words that would end the flaming torture within me.
But then, I had to.
'Jesse,' I urged breathlessly, '...go faster - I'm...'
He didn't need to be told twice. I guess he'd been worried that he was doing something wrong, hence why I was whimpering so much. But when he realised that I was so, so close, he mumbled an, '...Oh!' of sudden appreciation.
And he started to speed up, each gentle thrust now quicker and harder... deeper. Even my own hips had a will of their own.
All of a sudden, the formerly orange flames blazed a ferocious red and they began twisting, writhing, distorting and laving every inch of burning skin. Something began brewing stronger and more fiercely inside. I gripped him harder into me, burying my face against his neck and trying to stop the cry of transcendent pleasure born in my very soul.
But I was powerless against the fire that erupted so hotly, so massively all over my body and Jesse's, and I screamed out an explosion of pleasure at the unsuspected attack of amazing sensation. I went rigid as it scorched us both until finally, at last...the embers danced low and softly, till it died; slaked at last.
And with a final jerk, Jesse shuddered and groaned hoarsely and stopped rocking into me...
'...Oh my God,' was all I could say.
My thighs relaxed their fierce hold on him. I could still feel him inside me for a moment longer – he was just panting against my neck, saying soft, rapid things in Spanish. Then, he withdrew himself, and collapsed beside me, breathing very hard.
I was still frozen in place, with my legs parted and my hands pressed firmly against the pillow either side of my face. I blinked slowly, my mouth open in shock of that.
Jesse, suddenly verbal, spluttered, 'Oh...Dios, I'll be right back Susannah - ' and he fled from beneath the covers. I broke from my spell of stillness and sat up, alert. 'What?'
He was back within about ten seconds. 'Sorry, I was just...disposing of...' he trailed off, and I nodded to convey my understanding.
The condom had done its noble duty.
Sliding back between the sheets, Jesse's arms wrapped around me tenderly. He lowered me back down on the bed, kissing me with a softness that made me shiver. The thrill of my lips was incredible - still very sensitive even after that mind-shattering experience.
I sighed deeply, my hands splayed eagerly across his back.
'Susannah...' he breathed, before catching my lower lip gently between his teeth. I slid my tongue in his mouth again, and his own encircled mine. I moaned...
It's weird, because I can so easily remember a time when just kissing freaked me out beyond the telling of it. Mind you, that had been with completely the wrong person.
Now, though. With him... with the one person that I loved with everything I was... it was addictive.
Jesse pulled his mouth away from mine, and a sliver of protest escaped me.
His fingers stroked my hair, brushing it off of my face. Then, he removed his upper body from mine and settled on his side. One of his arms slid beneath my shoulder, and he curled me into him, kissing my forehead while simultaneously tickling his fingers down my back. I shuddered happily, pressing my eyelids down. His free hand flitted lazily down my side, and I moaned again, burying my face against his chest in an effort to muffle how much he was affecting me...
'Don't,' he said gently, his voice deep and rich with humour, 'I love hearing how I make you feel, querida.'
I smiled guiltily against his chest, both of my hands resting on either side of his hot waist. His fingers, warm and probing, smoothed over my lower back, eliciting unbearably good sensations. I whimpered accordingly. He chuckled, seducing my neck with merciless fingers. I tensed my shoulders up against my neck and hummed.
Then, his hand slid between both our bodies and cupped one of my breasts. I moaned, long and loud. He massaged it with slow circles; the centre hardened immediately beneath his attention. I sighed breathily and he laughed again.
'It seems that has quite an effect on you...' he said observantly, noting my pleasure.
It sure did... I had no idea why.
I swallowed, my eyes still jammed closed and my breath hot and fast against the tight skin of his chest.
His breathing patterns seemed to be relatively back to normal. Mine, thanks to his tantalising, was uneven again. After another minute of palming the soft skin some more, his hands finally relented, and relaxed after they'd pulled me right against him.
His body was so warm... I loved it.
I murmured gladly, hugging him closely. My face was tucked against his neck, beneath his chin.
'I love you,' he whispered.
'I know,' I said back tiredly. 'God, I can't believe how badly I want to sleep at the moment... it's been so long since we just... you know. Slept together – ' I coughed awkwardly. 'In the sense of actually sleeping, I mean...'
Jesse sighed, his fingers meshed in my hair, sweeping over my scalp lovingly. 'You know we can't, Susannah. You have another hour at the most before your mother expects you back...'
I smiled sadly. 'I just...miss you like that, I guess. And I miss your smell. You always smelled so nice...'
'I miss holding you,' he agreed, almost mournful. 'More than anything.'
I kissed his neck softly. He gasped, and squeezed me tighter, his lips against my temple. My heartbeat was no longer soaring. I was more relaxed than I'd been in a very, very long time.
'Mum's just worried I'm falling for a random guy I just met who I know nothing about,' I complained.
'Little does she know how long we've actually known each other for,' Jesse mused aloud.
'Or what we've been through,' I added with both grimness and cheer. 'Lack-of-sight...death...stupid evil psycho freaks...and then Rhys Miller...'
Jesse laughed at my joke about Paul – who really had come through for me in the end, I guess.
'We overcame it all,' Jesse grinned, kissing my hairline sweetly.
I giggled. 'Well. Not the sight thing... but that doesn't matter anymore. I know now that being blind doesn't make me...broken. Or unwanted. It's hard, but – '
'I'll always be there to guide you, mi querida...' Jesse's sincerity poured all over me. I basked in this warm afterglow. His voice lulled me, holding me compassionately, making me feel safe, warm, blissful, and at peace...
'And I'll always be there to love you...' he whispered in my ear.
He lifted my chin a little, and kissed me once more on my lips. I smiled wearily. 'Jesse.'
'...You taste even better than Grandma's Chocolate Cake.'
'I imagine I do,' he teased.
And yeah, I fell asleep in his arms... even if it was only for an hour before I had to go home and get interrogated by my mother.
And so what if my eyes didn't exactly – you know, see?
I felt absolutely perfect.