Darklord X:

Greetings and salutations, everyone! A fanfic for the baddies this time, I think! Just a small story here, partly based on a humourous dream I had (I knew I shouldn't have eaten so many tacos!). There are many problems that come with being a villain, yet there are some perks to being a teleporter/phaser. You rock, Kyd Wykkyd!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

The Trouble with Being a Phaser…

It was a quiet evening at the H.I.V.E. F.I.V.E. headquarters. Jinx was busy working on a Principles of Havoc paper that wasn't due for weeks, See-More was watching the evening news (or, to put it another way, watching whose plans had been foiled today by the Teen Titans), and Kyd Wykkyd was sitting next to the window, reading a copy of Victor Hugo's Les Miserables. Gizmo, Billy and Mammoth were not present; they had left to go and get some pizza for dinner that night.

"There!" Jinx said, in a satisfied voice, a look of superior smugness on her face as she set down her pen. "If this gets me anything less than an A, I'll be surprised." She glanced at the clock, which now showed 8:15. "Hey, when are the guys getting back?" she asked See-More. He looked up from the screen, which was showing Johnny Rancid being taken in by Jump City's boys in blue, and shrugged. "I dunno," he said, his single eye also moving to the clock. "They should be back by now. Maybe they got themselves into trouble…"

\Or maybe,\ Kyd said mentally, not looking up from his book \they're just screwing around as usual.\ Jinx nodded.

"Sure sounds like them," she said, standing up from her chair and stretching. "I'm gonna go and have a shower…" She headed across the room and was just about to close the door to the bathroom, when she stopped and turned around. "And I swear to God, See-More," she said in an evil voice, glaring at the one-eyed boy, "if you even think about peeking, I'm gonna-" See-More got up off the couch and cut her off by holding up his right hand defensively.

"Okay, okay," he said. "I get your point. I promise I won't do anything like that." Jinx continued to watch him warily, until he held up both his hands and showed her that none of his fingers were crossed. Satisfied, Jinx went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, securely locking it.

See-More turned to stare at Kyd Wykkyd, who looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. "Hey, shut up!" See-More yelled at him. "Cut me some slack!"

Kyd got a hold of himself, and turned to his indignant team mate. \Okay,\ he said apologetically \I'm sorry. But you've got to admit, she has a point. I mean, it's no secret that you like her…\ At this, See-More blushed bright red. "Shut up!" he said again, turning around to face the TV and sitting down heavily. Kyd thought about saying that he was joking, then thought against it.

The muffled sound of a running shower had started coming from the bathroom.

Kyd Wykkyd sighed, and decided to throw caution to the winds. \Hey, See-More?\ he said. His team mate turned around to face him, a slightly angry look still on his face. \I'm really sorry, man. I touched a nerve. I shouldn't have gone there. I was just telling it like I thought it was. I'm sorry…\

See-More's face relaxed into a small smile. "Aw, forget it, Kyd," he said. "It's cool. It's just that she is team leader, and it's something I was uncomfortable with anybody else knowing about…" At this, he flashed Kyd Wykkyd a sly smile. "You know…" he continued. "Kinda like you and Angel…"

This time it was Kyd's turn to blush. He closed Les Miserables and looked at See-More seriously with his blood-red eyes. \How do you know about that?\ he asked him. See-More gave an innocent shrug. "Oh," he said. "I see more than most people give me credit for. She really likes you, Kyd. And, I mean, it's no secret that you like her…"

Hearing his own words coming out of his friend's mouth caused him to go an even brighter shade of red than See-More had. When the colour began to recede form his pale cheeks, he turned to See-More. \I didn't say anything if you didn't say anything…\ he said, opening up his book again. See-More nodded.

"At least you know that Angel likes you," See-More said. "Aside from when she's telling us what to do, about the only thing Jinx tells me is not to try anything funny while she's having a shower," he finished, listening to the sounds of running water from the next room. "I mean, she acts like I'm the only one who does that sort of thing, and it's not like-"

See-More stopped suddenly. A devilish grin crept across his face.

"Hey, uh…Kyd?" See-More asked in what he clearly thought was a casual voice. "You can…uh…phase through walls, right?" Kyd Wykkyd looked up from his book, puzzled at the way See-More was acting. Then he listened to the sound of the shower in the bathroom and put two and two together. He looked his team mate up and down, as though trying to determine where See-More's head was so that he could look him squarely in his singular eye.

\No. Way. In. Hell.\ Wykkyd said, saying each word slowly and clearly. See-More got back up off of the couch and moved over to where Kyd was sitting. "C'mon," he said pleadingly. "Jinx never warns you about doing stuff like this-"

\Because I'm not a pervert!\ Kyd interjected. See-More shook his head. "No," he continued. "Because you're the last person she'd expect to do something like this. C'mon," he said again. "I dare ya. Just one quick look. She won't even know that you're there…" Kyd Wykkyd shook his own head.

\See-More,\ Kyd Wykkyd said slowly \She'd crucify us if she knew we were even thinking about doing this! I am not doing this and there is no way in all Hell that you are going to make me!\

See-More flashed Kyd that same grin. "If you don't do this," he whispered. "I'll tell everyone about how I saw you kissing Angel that day after combat practice…"

Kyd Wykkyd's heart skipped a beat. \You wouldn't…\

"I would," countered See-More calmly.

Kyd knew that he would. Slowly, he weighed the odds: his fear of his relationship being made public sooner than he would have liked, or the idea of facing Jinx's wrath if she knew he had tried to sneak a look at her in the shower. After much deliberation and careful thinking, Kyd Wykkyd made up his mind.

In a blur of black, he got to his feet punched See-More as hard as he could squarely in the jaw, knocking him out instantly. See-More didn't even have time to yell out before he crumpled to the floor. Kneeling down next to the one-eyed boy, Kyd gently flicked his forehead with the index finger of his right hand, altering his brain's neural pathways to terminate any possible recollection of this event, and simultaneously causing him to forget any of the things that had been said within the past five minutes. Satisfied, Kyd stood up and went back over to his seat, looking down at See-More.

\You're an okay guy most of the time, See-More,\ he told his unconscious friend as he rubbed the bruised knuckles of his right hand \but sometimes… you're just a damn pervert…\ With a small shake of his head, Kyd Wykkyd calmly went back to Victor Hugo's Les Miserables.