By Chaoseternus

For anyone who has ever recieved spam mail...

Six grinned as she reached down, carefully feeding the optic link into her arm, hooking herself directly into the Earth 'internet' though the backbone satellite they had managed to covertly seize and modify. From here, they could monitor and then later, when the time come, pervert the Earth internet, the largest planetary network of linked computers the Cylons had ever seen, to their own needs and Gods Commandment would finally be fulfilled.

Of course, before then they had to learn, to study, to see if these Earthers had anything they could use, or perhaps might be a threat to the Cylons. Six doubted that, but still, that was part of her job, try and discover any potential threats.

First step, get online…

Second step, scrub eyeballs out, she knew she was an infiltration model and that she had used such methods with these animals but still, was their entire computer network truly devoted to porn? Old hags pretending to young and nubile whilst really needing a good feed and ten less inches of make-up and all of it either unimaginative or anatomically improbable. This human internet was truly hell.

Yeech, she really needed new eyeballs.

Perhaps there was something other then this sludge?

Political websites, well, still sludge and certainly full of bullshit but potentially useful, so bookmark for later.

Hacker and cracker sites… interesting. Definite potential for manipulation there, not just for what they could learn of the security vulnerabilities in the Earthers systems, definite bookmark for a fuller evaluation later.

Microsoft website, the prevalent OS, beautiful.

The source code for a major OS? Online? Six smiled wickedly, she really ought to post a thank you to all the programmers for this Linux… and that Linux, and that Linux. Hell, how different versions did they actually need?

Email… free email even better. Set-up account, fake all the details of course and that was one tool it looked like she would need for this investigation set-up now…

Wait, an email already? How? She hadn't given anyway the address yet?

Did she want a penis enlargement?

Six glanced downwards, so incredulous she actually had to check .

Nope, she didn't need a penis enlargement. Now, Doral on the other hand…

Grinning, she reformatted the message to be compatible with the Cylons systems and passed it along, her mind noting the slight slowdown she was experiencing with her network connection but dismissing it as irrelevant; they were so far from the main Cylon centres after all. Besides, it could just be a side effect of the extra calculations needed to maintain a compatibility mode that would allow her to access the human internet…

Wide-eyed and stumbling, Kara and Lee climbed out of their Vipers, their expressions telling of great pain and terror.

"Lee," Starbuck managed to eventually force out, "did that battle seem somewhat surreal to you?"

His only response was to nod.

"And since when did the Cylons become so interested in the size of our warriors equipment?"

Lee just shook his head, "large enough already," he finally managed to spit out.

Kara snorted, "oh I don't know, another inch or two…"

For the record: I do not own nor do I claim ownership of characters and/or concepts from the new Battlestar Galactica