Title: Run Katie, Run
Original post date: 11th March 2006
Spoilers: set after 2x09, What Kate Did but deals with stuff from 2x10, the 23rd Psalm
Summary: Kate will always need to run and she knows Jack will never be able to fix her.
Disclaimer: I don't own Evie, Dom or the characters they portray on Lost. Sorry for stealing them but my muse said she'd eat my brain if I didn't write this all down. The lyrics are from "What Katie Did" by The Libertines
Safety pins are none too strong Katie...
The first thing she wanted to do when she saw Charlie hanging by his neck from a tree was to run. Run away Katie, just run away. But then she Jack blur past her and his voice was calling back to her you gotta cut him down and she was running forward and she was climbing the tree, knife between her teeth…
It was the first time that she didn't run away. Even when Jack was beating the life back into Charlie's broken body, even when she felt like she was about to fall apart she didn't run and she felt glad that she'd stayed because Jack had needed her that day, Charlie had needed her and she'd been there.
She hadn't run.
She didn't run for a long time; not when everyone finally found out that she was a fugitive, not when Sawyer was carried – half alive – to the hatch and she had to help him to swallow his antibiotics because Jack...
The day she kissed Jack was the first time in a long time that she had run. The idea of investing so much of her self into one person terrified her – how had she let this happen? When had she stopped running away from people and begun to run towards them?
There was something about Jack that made her want to stop running but she knew deep down that she would always need to run – it was an almost primal habit, an instinct, imbedded into her very soul. It was almost like an addiction to her.
She spoke to Charlie about it and blurted out things that she'd never told anyone before. He had listened quite silently and then reached out a hand to touch hers, a sad smile on his lips.
'I know exactly what you mean,'
Kate had swallowed her shame then and cried, her head on her knees. 'I didn't run away when you needed me,' she sobbed against the faded denim. 'When you were hung – I didn't run away then.'
'I know,' Charlie exerted a gentle pressure on her hand. 'I remember you being there when I woke up.'
'I wanted to run,' she murmured. 'I wanted to run away. I didn't want it to be real and I though that if I ran...' she paused to take a juddering breath. 'I wasn't there for Tom. When he needed me I ran.'
Charlie paused before answering. 'Well I'm glad you didn't run when I needed you. Most people do.'
Kate smiled at him and then laughed tearfully. 'I think you've got the opposite problem to me – you don't seem to run away from anything.'
'Yeah and look where that got me,' Charlie said darkly. 'Strung up from a tree, beaten to a pulp, exiled...I personally think you might have taken hold of the better end of the stick.'
Kate laughed, enjoying the sensation. Suddenly it didn't seem to bad that Jack wouldn't ever be able to fix her.
She wasn't the only one who liked to run.