There once was a sailor named Caine
Who purposed his own death to feign.
Then, "Brothers!" he said,
"I'm not really dead!"
So somebody killed him again.


There once was a hunter named Julian
Black-haired, and with eyes of cerulean.
From head down to heel,
His body was steel,
And his ass was by no means Apuleian.


Once, Benedict faced an attack
And lost half his arm in one hack.
Old Oberon planned
To lend him a hand—
But later, he wanted it back.


There once was a swordsman named Bleys
Whom Corwin did nothing but praise.
They're hardly discreet
For each time they meet
Bleys finds out how much Corwin weighs.


There once was a ruler named Eric
Whose arguments proved rather spheric:
"I'm king—see the crown?
Though dad never stepped down,
My claim's not a bit esoteric!"


There once was a rascal named Random
Betrothed in a strange memorandum:
"Instead of beheaded,
We're having you wedded."
Now he and his queen rule in tandem.


There once was a villain named Brand
Who died by his own brother's hand.
His dogged insistence
On ending existence
Succeeded—but not as he'd planned.