Highway through Hell
Chapter One: My Eyes Have Seen You
This is my version of how Jackie and Hyde get together. It takes place immediately following the season 4 finale but, instead, Donna flies to California and Kelso stays back and does something that rewrites Jackie and Hyde's story. If you like road trips and Jackie and Hyde lovin' then you're in the right place. It starts out scripty but eventually changes into a narrative. It's a long road ahead and there's a surprise at every turn but, it all leads to a good place...
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I get no money from my silly lil' story.
Eric Forman's Basement. June 16, 1978
It was the beginning of the summer of 1978, and four boys sit in the cool, familiar basement of the one they call 'Forman.'
HYDE: So Forman, let me just get this straight, Donna and Casey break up...
ERIC: (looking up thinking) Yep.
HYDE: She comes to you crying and says she wants to get back together...
ERIC: (pondering) Yeah...
HYDE: and you, Forman, say 'no' because you don't wanna be her second choice?
ERIC: Yeah that about covers it, wait, no, yeah that's it.
HYDE: (smiling) Wow man, I'm proud of you.
ERIC: What? Wait, (smiles) Hyde, you are? Really?
HYDE: Sure man, I mean, remember that day when I told you that buying Donna that engagement ring was the dumbest thing you ever did?
HYDE: (laughing) Well, you topped yourself today man, way to go! I'm proud of ya, dumbass!
Eric sinks down into the couch and Kelso gets up from his chair to get a popsicle from the freezer.
KELSO: (snickering) Yeah Eric, and you guys are always calling me dumb!
FEZ: (sympathetically) But Kelso, that's because you are dumb.
KELSO: Yeah but, Jackie told me today that she wanted to get back together and I said yes! (he looks at Eric) And now, were gettin married...so who's the dumb one now!
ALL BOYS (except Kelso): YOU!
KELSO: (confused, then sad) Oh.
Hyde gets up and grabs the "Stupid Helmet" and then stops in his tracks.
HYDE: You know, Fezzy, I don't know which one to give this to... idiot number one (points to Eric) or idiot number two (looks at Kelso).
KELSO: Hey! I thought I was idiot number one! (Sulks)
HYDE: You're right. Here.
Hyde tosses the helmet over to Kelso, who catches it.
KELSO: (ecstatic) Alright!
Kelso puts the helmet on and sits back down. The boys sit around talking for another few minutes when Jackie walks in to the basement.
JACKIE: Michael! What are you doing? You were supposed to pick me up and take me to the mall, an hour ago!
KELSO: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Jackie rips the helmet off of Kelso's head and throws it in his lap. She then sits on the other side of the couch to face him.
JACKIE: Alright, look Michael, it's important that I find something great to wear to Gary Strobert's party tonight. Cause when I tell everyone that you and I will be man and wife, I will need to look my most fabulous, you know, for when all those jealous girls cattily eye me and wish they were me!
KELSO: Yeah, that is true.
JACKIE: So Michael, I will be at Donna's (swings around to glare at Eric) comforting her since some moron broke her heart into a million, albeit huge and lumberjacky, pieces!
Jackie suddenly notices Hyde and smiles at him.
JACKIE: Oh, hi Steven.
JACKIE: (turning back to Kelso and pointing angrily) So Michael, pick me up in one hour at Donna's!
Kelso nods his head 'yes' at her as she storms out of the basement.
ERIC: Man, Donna's upset and I am just sitting here. I should be the one comforting her.
Eric stands up and takes the helmet from Kelso and puts it on his own head.
HYDE: Yeah, it's times like this that I need some comforting of my own.
The Circle: Five minutes later.
Hyde is grinning from ear to ear.
HYDE: I feel better already!
ERIC: (still wearing the helmet, to Hyde) Why do you need comforting? I am the idiot that turned down the hottest girl I am ever gonna get because I didn't want to be second choice. Man, you were right (looks down), I am SUCH a woman!
KELSO: Yeah, I coulda told ya that Eric. You know, a real man knows how to please his lady. Jackie wanted to get married so I told her that we would. I mean, what could go wrong with a fail-proof plan like that? (smiling - looks to Fez)
FEZ: (angrily, to Kelso) How, for the love of god, does a doofus like you get the hand of the beautiful Jacqueline Burkhardt when Fez has NOTHING!
Hyde hands Fez the helmet and Fez puts it on, folds his arms and pouts.
HYDE: You girls need to all just calm down. Wah wah(acting like he is crying), my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that. (suddenly becomes serious) Toughen up men! (begins to sniff the air) Ooh, do I smell ...cupcakes? (Looks around, sniffs again and smiles)
ALL TOGETHER: Cupcakes!
All four take off for a sprint up the basement stairs. But, Hyde grabs Kelso by the back of the shirt, pulls him down to the ground and runs past him.
Kelso is the last up the stairs but halfway up someone throws the helmet at him from the top and makes him fall back down again.
KELSO: Agh! Dammit, Hyde!
Forman Kitchen: Ten Minutes Later
Kitty is putting frosting on cupcakes. When Kelso tries to grab one, Kitty slaps his hand. On the other side of her though, Fez, Hyde and Eric all take one without her noticing,
Kelso stomps off and pouts and sits with the rest of the boys at the kitchen table.
KITTY: So, what are you boys up to? Eric?
HYDE: Well, Mrs. Forman, we have just been telling Eric here what a dumb-ass he is for turning down Donna. (smirks)
ERIC: (sulking) Thanks, Hyde.
HYDE: (still smirking, he takes a bite of his cupcake) No problem.
KITTY: Yes, well Steven, Red and I have already called Eric a dumb-ass today, you know, since he really, really is one. (laughs).
ERIC: Thanks mom.
KITTY: Oh, no problem, honey.
Kitty walks over and gets a cupcake for Kelso since he's the only one who doesn't have one. She hands it to him and he is ecstatic.
KELSO: Thanks Mrs. Forman! Hey, did Eric tell you that Jackie and I got engaged today?
Kelso goes to take a bite of his cupcake but Kitty reaches out and snaps it away from him.
KITTY: (as she walks away) Dumb-ass.
KELSO: (sad) Hey.
HYDE: You know, seriously Kelso, how are you gonna marry Jackie when you can't stop with...how should I put it ...the banging of other chicks?
ERIC: Yeah, Kelso, man, I mean you've cheated on her like a hundred times. Don't you think it's a little messed up to make her think your gonna stop and marry her. I mean, we all know your not gonna stop cheating on her.
KELSO: Yeah, but Jackie doesn't know that, jeez! (Shaking his head and looking down)
Eric, Hyde and Fez all look at each other with disgust and shake their heads, too. Just then Jackie rushes into the kitchen.
JACKIE: You guys, Donna's gone!
ERIC, HYDE AND FEZ:(together): What?
JACKIE: Yeah, I went over there and waited for a bit and she never came home, so I called Bob at work and he said that Donna had left him a note saying that she was going to California to stay with her cousin for the summer and that she wasn't sure if she was coming back!
Jackie stomps over to Eric and begins hitting him.
JACKIE: I HateYou, Eric Forman! It's all your fault that my best friend is gone! How am I gonna find another maid of honor that will stand next to me and make me look so good!
Eric raises his arms to defend himself from her tiny punches. So instead, Jackie begins to strangle him. Hyde, walks over and pulls Jackie off of Eric and plops her down on the chair on the other side of the table.
HYDE: (points at Jackie) Alright, you sit there and calm down! (points to Eric) And you, man, the hell are you defending yourself from? She weighs like six pounds! Damn, man.
Jackie folds her arms and pouts and Eric cradles his head in his hands.
ERIC: Oh my god, you guys, what have I done?
HYDE: (smiling, sitting down) I'm proud of ya, Forman.
ERIC: Shut-up Hyde!
FEZ: I am so sorry Eric, looks like now you are pathetic and womanless just like me and Hyde.
Hyde throws his cupcake at Fez.
FEZ: MMM, chocolate.
He begins to eat it and everyone else sits around the table speechless and sad over Donna's departure.
KELSO: So does this mean we're not going to Gary Strobert's party tonight?
Everyone throws their cupcakes at him.
Just Outside of Gary Strobert's House, Friday, June 16, 1978, 9:06 p.m.
Hyde and Fez are in the El Camino parked in the street in front of Kelso and Jackie, who are in the van.
Inside the El Camino:
HYDE: Alright Fez, you ready?
FEZ: Yep. Oh, I love parties! Drunken whores, beer...more drunken whores. God, I love America!
HYDE: (confused) They don't have drunken whores and beer where you're from?
FEZ: They do but, it's better to be able to share the experience of beer and drunk whores with friends, you know?
Hyde just smiles and nods his head.
Inside the Van:
JACKIE: Okay, now Michael, we are engaged now, so no flirting with or kissing other girls. It's not gonna look good if your kissing some other girl when I make our engagement announcement.
KELSO: (not really paying attention) Yeah, baby, whatever you want.
Kelso watches as a girl wearing hot pants walks by.
JACKIE: Michael, I'm serious. Please don't embarrass me tonight. Look, I took you back and believed you when you said that I am the only girl that you want to be with. Michael, are you even listening to me?
KELSO: (still watching the hot pants girl walk away) Yeah, baby, of course I am.
Jackie sighed, knowing that he was gonna do something stupid tonight. He always did.
Jackie got out of the van with Kelso and met up with Hyde and Fez. She let Fez and Kelso walk ahead as she grabbed Hyde's arm and pulled him back to talk.
JACKIE: Steven, he's going to cheat on me tonight, isn't he? I can just tell now when he's about to.
HYDE: (irritated) Jackie, I don't know. Why do you go back with him if you know he's gonna cheat on you again? I don't get it.
JACKIE: I don't know, I guess I always just hope that he's gonna change. (Her face falls) But, he's not going to, is he?
HYDE: What do you think?
JACKIE: Well, will you hang out with me tonight? Cause I just know that he's gonna take off and leave me alone, and Donna's not here and ...
HYDE: (chuckles) Jackie, look. I wanna have a good time tonight okay, and to be totally honest with you, my plan is to get drunk and find a slutty girl who is equally drunk, if not more so. And I didn't exactly see you in those plans. So, (pats her on the butt and pushes her forward) I'll see ya later.
Jackie looked as if he had just ripped her heart out and he felt bad. Sort of. But, she was not his responsibility. She was Kelso's. Hyde honestly wished his friend wasn't such a fuck up and a pig. But, he was. And what he did or didn't do with his own girl was his damn business. Right? But, he still felt a little sorry for Jackie. Cause whether he liked it or not, she had grown on him, a little. And Kelso was constantly humiliating her and that pissed him off. Always did.
JACKIE: Thanks for nothing, Steven.
Jackie ran up ahead to be with Kelso and take her chances.
Inside Gary Strobert's House: The Party. 1 hour later.
Kelso is laying down next to the keg with his shirt off guzzling beer from a dirty funnel tube, while the crowd cheers him on.
DRUNKEN CROWD: KELSO! KELSO! KELSO!...
Hyde is sitting on a piano bench making out with some slutty drunk girl as he had hoped; Fez is in the backyard, drunk and trying to make a move on some poor girl; and Jackie is sitting on the couch squished between two couples making out.
'This isn't so bad' she thought. 'At least he's not making out with some slutty tramp like Steven. Yeah, okay he's acting like an ass, but an ass I can handle, a cheater, no way' So it was between a cheater and an ass. Jackie smiled at her good fortune. She was engaged to an ass.
Jackie was still bummed about Donna though, and felt a little guilty about leaving an even more bummed out Eric at home alone. But her guilt instantly faded when she saw a few of her cheerleading friends walk in through the front door. She weasled out from in between the two couples, gross, and made her way over to a growing crowd of cheerleaders.
Another hour passed and Jackie was pleasantly surprised at the good time she was having. She was drinking and hanging out with her cheer friends, and gossiping about the bitches from Lincoln High who sat only feet away. Fez had made a couple of passes by to say hello to her, and even Hyde had checked on her once to see if she was okay. Everything was perfect. Life was good, and Jackie decided that it was the perfect time for her and Michael to make their engagement announcement.
Jackie made her way over to the piano bench. "Steven? Have you seen Michael?"
Hyde managed to release the G.I. Joe kung fu grip that his lips had on the girl in front of him's face long enough to mutter a muffled...'Nope'
Jackie walked around scanning the room for her fiancé. He must have abandoned the keg sometime while I was talking to her friends. Was there another keg somewhere in the house? No. Suddenly a guttural sinking feeling washed over her and her movements throughout the house became more hurried.
She ran into Fez. "Fez? Have you seen Michael?"
Fez was as drunk as drunk could get and she had to repeat her question.
He finally answered. "Um, yeah he was going into the bathroom. Oh, hey, Yackie, you wanna make-out with me?" he said, with a desperate smile.
Jackie giggled. God he was drunk. She knew because his accent was always more prominent when he was toasted. "Ew, Fez. No. I just need to find Michael."
But, her words came out too late. After the word "No." Fez had taken off . So, Jackie made her way through the house alone, asking anyone and everyone where the bathroom was. No one seemed to know. And when she finally found it, the door was closed. The lilghts were on and someone was inside. And she held her breath before she grabbed the knob. He promised. He's just going to the bathroom. She started to turn the knob and to her surprise the door was unlocked. So she swung the door open.
Inside, she found Michael with his pants down, literally. He had some blond girl, whom Jackie had never seen before, on top of the sink. The girl's skirt was hiked up to her waist, her breasts were bare and Michael was puttin it to her in a way that made Jackie sick. He wasn't being nice like he usually was with her, instead he was rough and hard. And it made her cringe. Jackie stood in shock but, eventually, the loud, torrid smacking of flesh and the girl's grunts snapped Jackie out of her trance and she turned around and ran. Michael had never even noticed her there.
As Jackie made her way back through the house, the room began to spin. Her face felt hot and she could swear everyone was staring at her. They probably weren't but 'they should be' she thought. She was a joke. And that's all there was too it. It apparently hadn't mattered that she was the prettiest girl, or the richest, or the most popular or even the most talented member of the cheerleading squad, Michael wanted anything warm with tits. And the thought that bathroom trash had been more appealing than her, made the choking feeling in her throat rise up and burst out as sobs.
She continued to run through the house, knowing exactly who she was looking for. And there he was, his tongue still glued to the slut on the piano bench. But still, she was glad to see him. Something about him made her feel safe and protected and she knew he would make it better, somehow. He always seemed to.
"Steven?" she said, still sobbing.
Hyde stopped, he heard the pain in her voice. Something was wrong.
"Jackie, what the hell's the matter now?" he said, gruffly. "Is some guy messing with you? Go tell Kelso." He immediately returned his lips to the girl beside him.
"I can't," Jackie, said softly. "Steven, please."
Hyde pulled away again and got up from the piano bench and sighed. "Alright, who is it, and let's make this quick cause she's really drunk and I don't need her passin' out on me, it makes it way harder to make out with her, if you know what I mean." Hyde drunkenly chuckled at Jackie, he was proud of his little funny. But, he noticed that she wasn't laughing, in fact she was crying. He hadn't noticed before.
"Jackie? Alright, tell me who it is, I'm gonna kick his ass." He waited for her answer. But she just threw herself at him instead, burying her face into his chest. He could feel her shaking violently as she sobbed. "Man, Jackie, what the hell happened?"
"He did it again, Steven!" With her arms still wrapped tightly around him, she looked up into his eyes. "He's got some skank in the bathroom and I walked in and he was screwing her on the sink and..oh my god, Steven, it was so humiliating, I was gonna tell everyone that we were getting married! Why am I not good enough for him? What's something wrong with me?" She threw her face back into his chest. Her breathing was choppy and labored and her sobs were getting more hysterical. Hyde held onto her.
"Shhh. It's gonna be alright, I promise," he whispered to her. He tried to remain calm but he could feel the rage building up inside of him. She thought it was all her fault.
"Jackie, it's not your fault that Kelso is an asshole!" He spit it out with such anger that it scared her.
Crap, she thought. Hyde was actually pissed. You know what, good! Or was it? Crap.
Hyde forcefully grabbed Jackie's hand, forgetting about his slut, and made his way towards the bathroom. "Steven, what are you gonna do? Don't do anything stupid. Steven! Steven!" she pleaded. But he ignored her and kept walking, her in tow.
They got to the bathroom and Hyde shoved the door open. "Hey!"
Kelso looked up and immediately began to scramble. "Shit," he muttered, pulling up his pants. "What the hell, Hyde! Get outta here!"
Jackie waited just outside the door while Hyde stormed inside and grabbed the girl by the arm. He covered her breasts with a towel and pushed her out of the room past Jackie. Then, he slammed the door shut, leaving him and Kelso alone inside.
To be continued...
Okay, so that was my chapter one. I promise, it gets way better! Please review.