He's the only person who can look right at me and make me feel invisible. He notices every other girl at Casper High. Paullina, Valerie, but never me. He'd deny it. Claim he sees me just fine. But not the way I want him to. I want him to see me as pretty. I want him to want me, and to drool as I walk by, and I don't want to have to dress like the girls in the magazines to do it. I want him to see me the way I am. He's sitting across from me, eating a cheese burger. I'll even except that he eats meat. Just look at me good damn it! Look the way you look at them! Come on is that so much to ask? A little attention. If I were really invisible I'd smack you upside the head for being so dense. Danny may be half ghost, but I am more invisible than he could ever be. Because I'm right in front of him. Ah yes, he looks up when Paullina walks by, but if I got up right now and left he wouldn't flinch. He doesn't feel my stare. It's angry and sad and I want to punch him and hold him at the same time. I want to be the reason he can't sleep at night I want to be the reason he gets up in the morning. The reason he smiles for seemingly no reason. But you can't do that when you're invisible.
I hate it when she stares at me like this. Maybe she doesn't realize I know but I do. It has become more and more frequent as the days pass. She'll stare at the back of my head in Geometry and History. Those eyes bug me. Oh there isn't anything wrong with them. They're lovely but still... Why does she do this to me? I haven'tdone anything, yet she insists on staring a hole in me.. It's uncomfortable. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this. With Tuck on vacation to Egypt we've barely talked. Hmm.. Could she have found out about that ham sandwich I gave her in place of her tofu on wry? Nah, only Tucker knew about that and he's the one who dare me to do it. Damn what could be the reason? Lunch is almost over and I'm running out of time.Wait, where's she going. She sits here and stares daggers into me then leaves without a word. "Sam wait!" She didn't even turn around.
"Don't say it's nothing when I know there's something wrong."
Damn Paullina what do you want! But that's not what I say. She comes over and stands between me and Sam. I try to look around her. "Um… Paullina could you give us a sec?"
"Oh did I interrupt something?" She says in mock innocence that only a buffoon couldn't recognize. She's half way to the door back into school.
Suddenly I'm angry at her, "If you must know, YES." Then I step around her and walk after Sam. Okay that was stupid. But letting Sam go would be stupider. Sam's different. One of a kind. A Paullina could be found anywhere. But Sam's special. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let her just walk away. "Talk to me…" She didn't stop, "I'm sorry. I'm not sure what for yet but if you'd just… I don't give a damn what you heard, it can't be true…" Still nothing… Man is she frustrating. And I'm getting desperate, "Sam what do you want me to say?" Sam stopped and turned, were those… Tears? Oh god was she pretty though… Her short black hair and lilac eyes. God she's pretty. Why didn't I see it before. I did… I just wasn't paying attention.
Then the sweetest words came from that perfectly curved mouth, "Say you want me." One, two steps, and I held her. She smelled like apples and hair gel. Strange. That works for me.
"Oh god, such lovely words… I want you Sam. Lord knows I do. I couldn't bare the thought of you walking away but watching you go just so happen to be my favorite part. If it didn't seem that way, well forgive me, before your little stunt just now I didn't realize it." Oh great our class mates are staring now. I turned slightly red. "Shall we pull a swift disappearing act?"
"Of course." I pulled her behind a bush and disappeared.