Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club and all affiliated materials are property of Bisco Hatori and Shojo Beat. The song Inside of You belongs to Hoobastank.
Inside of You
By: Nanaki BH
"Don't cry, Kaoru."
Kaoru bit his lower lip and clenched his eyes, tears already flowing down his cheeks freely. A small hiccup escaped his lips and Hikaru couldn't take it anymore. He was tired of just furrowing his brow and sitting back and watching his brother suffer all the time. He was so sensitive and he was the only person in Kaoru's life who understood. All he wanted to do was comfort him.
He claimed his brother's mouth, swallowing his whimpers. Gently, he stroked the back of his neck and tried to ease his pain with a few tender murmurs. The whole situation started when Kaoru was making their lunches. It was early, before school hours. The younger brother thought it would be interesting if he tried making their lunches the way that Haruhi did. Besides, it would be amusing to see the look on Tamaki's face when they sat next to her with their nicely packed lunches.
With the careless drop of a knife, he'd split his finger wide open, bringing immediate, searing pain. He had screamed and he dropped the knife – almost got himself in the foot, too – and that's when Hikaru rushed in to the rescue. His brother had dropped to his knees on the kitchen floor and was cradling his injured hand, crying incoherently about just how much it hurt. It wasn't until Hikaru took his hand in his own that he understood.
He was up and to their bathroom cabinet within only a few moments to grab a Band-Aid and some disinfectant for his cut. He fell down on his knees beside him, taking him into his arms and instantly began cleaning the wound and had the bandage secured snugly. Despite his great efforts, though, Kaoru just wouldn't stop crying.
"Don't cry," he told him, pushing back his bright hair, placing a kiss to his temple. "It isn't so bad now; it'll heal just fine, Kaoru."
His brother wasn't convinced. His shoulders shook and his tears dropped into his lap. "But it's a big cut, Hikaru," he cried. "A really, really big cut."
He wasn't sure what to tell him. He was inconsolable. Usually, one nice big kiss made him feel better and that was that, but something kept him crying. Although his hysterics eventually died down, he still ended up resting against his chest, whimpering pitifully about just how much it hurt. It wasn't the same sort of pain he sometimes purposely put himself in to catch the eyes of the girls they entertained in the host club. It was different; he was serious.
Hikaru's breath caught in his throat. Sitting there, helplessly watching his brother in agony made him feel so terribly… worthless. His eyebrows wouldn't stop furrowing, even after that grand kiss they'd shared and it wouldn't be going away until their most unfavorable situation was resolved, it seemed – and he didn't want to get wrinkles. "What is it, then?" he asked, absent-mindedly twirling a strand of his brother's golden hair around his forefinger.
"You don't understand," he whispered quietly.
Hikaru leaned in to listen to him.
"It's more than just a cut, Hikaru. It's a really big cut." To Hikaru's ears, it sounded like he had just said the same thing he had only a few moments before. Sure, he thought, it was a large cut, but it wasn't like it was life-threatening. Perhaps the disinfectant he used made it hurt only that much more. His heart sunk at the thought that he had put his brother in even more pain than he was already in.
A light went on in his head. "A bigger cut… needs a bigger kiss, doesn't it?"
Kaoru smiled weakly, resting his head back against Hikaru's chest, tilting back a little to rub against his chin. "Something like that, yeah," he muttered. "But it's more than just that."
More that what? It was more than just a matter of giving him a bigger kiss? Hikaru had to give himself a mental slap for thinking so coyly. Kaoru sometimes liked to get a little playful and it wasn't odd for him to get in deeper than just simply kissing. "So what could be better than a kiss, hm?" he asked, quite curious.
Kaoru turned in his hold and brought their faces close together. "All." – A kiss to the nose. – "Of." – A kiss to the cheek. – "You." – And one to the other cheek.
A soft sigh escaped Hikaru's lips and he found his eyelids fluttering closed. It wasn't very often he found himself under the control of his younger brother, but he was always welcome to a little bit of change. He felt Kaoru's familiar weight press against him and soon he was lying on his back on their kitchen floor, moaning as Kaoru sucked hungrily at his lips.
Wet tears fell against Hikaru's face and slid down his cheeks as if they were his own tears. Never breaking lip contact, he brushed his fingers across his brother's cheeks and wiped away his tears. He brought them even closer together and pressed their foreheads together, their lips parting from each other for a moment for some well-deserved air.
"So how is that cut doing?" he asked, smirking.
A soft blush spread across Kaoru's cheeks and he looked away shyly. Tentatively, he pushed himself up from Hikaru's chest and sat back on his heels. "The cut feels fine but there's just something else…"
Hikaru stood and offered a hand down to Kaoru who took it appreciatively. Their hands fit together perfectly, Hikaru noticed. It felt so nice; so very reassuring. Kaoru looked up into Hikaru's eyes and for a while they just stayed like that, taking in each other. Inside, Hikaru knew that his brother wanted more than a little bit of lip action. For some reason, he felt willing to give him that "little bit more" to satisfy him.
He helped him up and led him back into their bedroom where he pushed him down against the bed, cushioning the back of his head with his hand. His heart thumped uncontrollably as he watched the way his brother squirmed and wriggled around in the sheets and he just wanted him so badly like he'd never wanted him before. It was odd; the oddest thing he'd ever felt, though. Getting hot over someone who looked just like him was strange, but it felt so right. Symmetry was always their niche; the host club understood that, especially. He'd just never been that close to something that… taboo.
He swallowed, loosening the tie he had tightened no more than ten minutes before. They only had about twenty minutes before they had to be at their first class. Luckily, the two of them were creative. Twenty minutes was just enough time for them to get something done and Hikaru wasn't about to waste one precious moment. He got up and Kaoru immediately made to pull him back down. Hikaru put a finger to his lips and hushed him, smiling sweetly.
"I'll be back in just a second," he promised.
Actually, it took him more like a minute but he doubted that Kaoru was counting. He stumbled into their bathroom and rummaged around all over (cabinets, drawers, baskets) until he finally found some suitable lubricant and hastily returned to the bedroom. His jaw almost hit the floor as soon as he looked up. There, sexily stretching out on the bed, was his brother – as naked as the day he was born.
"K-Kaoru," he muttered, feeling his cheeks growing hot. His heart was beating so fast, he was beginning to believe it was going at an unsafe pace. To make matters worse, his pants were starting to feel excruciatingly tight. His grip tightened on the bottle and he stepped forward, like stepping toward his reflection in a mirror.
Kaoru beckoned him forward and resumed his position of vulnerable offering. How could he resist that? Well, the common person might have been able to resist their brother, but something felt remarkably different to Hikaru. Especially considering how sexy he thought himself to be, there wasn't much of a way to resist "himself". He loosened his tie further and pulled it up over his head. His shirt was unbuttoned, exposing his smooth pale chest, and soon joined his tie on the floor. Next went his pants, joining the accumulating pile, and Kaoru watched on as he undressed, licking his lips in silent fascination.
Just to tease his brother further, Hikaru took his time in taking off his shorts, rubbing his thumbs under the waistband. He could only imagine what kind of things were going on inside of Kaoru's mind – it didn't look like much, really. He was nibbling on his bottom lip and curling and uncurling his fingers in the sheets. Clearly, his teasing was killing him. Generously, he slipped off his shorts, letting them drop to the floor to pool around his ankles.
Kaoru's entire face went red.
Never had they attempted something so intimate and for the first time, Hikaru was able to confirm that they were alike in just about every visual aspect. Unable to wait any longer, his need to simply touch him growing stronger every second, he got on his hands and knees and began crawling across the bed to Kaoru. His arms slid easily about his shoulders and their lips and tongues collided wantonly, their bodies sliding perfectly against each other. Hikaru's mouth smothered every little whimper Kaoru made as he rocked his hips against him.
Hikaru backed away, remembering the lubricant he'd forgotten on the floor amidst his excitement. Promising him a quick return, he hopped off the bed and arrived again with the small bottle between his fingers. Neither of them seemed to care what they were doing anymore. It was a definite first, but they were always excited by new things – especially new advances in their relationship.
The younger of the two put a finger under his brother's chin and summoned him forward, closer to his face. Quietly, just above a whisper, he sighed, "I always dreamed you would be my first."
T-that, Hikaru realized, that's what he was talking about!
Tenderly, he placed a kiss to his forehead and to his cheeks, brushing his fingers through his soft hair. The two of them shared similar expressions; closed eyes, parted lips, thoroughly pleased. "Are you sure about this?" he asked him, just to be sure. He knew how sensitive his brother was sometimes.
A smile and the spreading of his legs was all he needed to encourage him. Hikaru sighed, attempting to build up some confidence. He was the man in the relationship. If he was going to get this done then he would have to do it right. He uncapped the tube and squirted a liberal amount into his palm. The bottle was set aside on the nightstand so he could rub it in between his palms to warm it first. He looked up at Kaoru's flushed face and his heart skipped a beat. He'd never seen him looking so sexual before; never in any of there other taboo endeavors, even.
Swallowing, secretly crossing himself, he made the first move. He took comfort in watching the way Kaoru's face changed as he slid in the first finger, as he stroked it in and out of him, crooking it and bending it. He added a second and he moaned slightly at his touch, bucking his hips against him. A third finger seemed unnecessary and probably painful so he left there and began coating himself instead.
"Nii-san, you sure seem to know what you're doing, don't you?"
"Are you implying something?"
Kaoru looked away.
Hikaru shook his head, laughing lightly. "I'm a virgin too, Kaoru. You know I would never give it to anybody else," he promised, giving him a gentle kiss to his lips.
About then, without breaking eye contact, he entered him for the first time. Kaoru, completely caught off guard by Hikaru's mesmerizing gaze, gasped and moaned, making some of the most exquisite noises Hikaru had ever heard. With all considered, it was a pretty painless entry. He bent his neck and kissed his brother gently on the forehead, holding him securely under his arms. He closed his eyes and started rocking his hips, drawing himself in and out of him carefully.
One of Kaoru's delicate hands gripped at Hikaru's shoulders and his eyes snapped open, sensing Kaoru's distress. He didn't need to say anything or ask what was wrong. Simply from looking at his face, he could tell that he was uncomfortable. He rubbed their cheeks together and whispered softly in his ear.
"I heard it gets easier as you keep going; the more you do it, too."
Kaoru whimpered slightly, tightening his grip. His lips quivered and faltered but Hikaru couldn't have possibly seen it. He was the one who wanted it. He was the one who enticed his brother into the bedroom with sexy looks and he was getting his way. For whatever reason, he was suddenly regretting it. It wasn't that he regretted the situation necessarily, it just… it hurt.
A tender hand came up to stroke the back of Kaoru's neck, easing him into only light gasps. "See, you just have to relax." A moan. "Right now, you're just so…" Another one. "Tight. You know?"
Then, all of a sudden and quite unexpectedly, some kind of intense pleasure worked its way up Kaoru's spine. His eyes clamped shut and his teeth locked. He had barely a second before a second wave of pleasure found him from somewhere deep inside of him. He tried his best to keep himself from flat out screaming (In surprise, at the least.) but could only hold himself for so long before he moaned loudly, toes curling in pleasure.
He tugged at the hair at the back of Hikaru's neck, tossing his head back into the pillows. "H-Hikaru… what…?"
Hikaru only chuckled in response and continued thrusting, somewhat relieved to find that Kaoru was indeed loosening up. Kaoru brought up his legs and wrapped them around his waist, gasping each time he struck his prostate. Lightly, with the backs of his fingers, Hikaru began stroking at his twin's sides, eliciting soft sighs from him.
For something so awesomely delightful and intimate, Hikaru was finding it hard to believe that they were doing something that was considered forbidden and taboo by common society. Well, that could have been it, in truth. They weren't part of everyday, common society. They were different – privileged – and they always inevitably found themselves doing things the common people wouldn't.
As the pleasurable tension began to surmount within him, Hikaru buried his face in Kaoru's neck, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He didn't want to come before him. He wanted Kaoru to have that satisfaction; he wanted his first time to be the best. Instead, he focused on him and his wonderful scent. He was positively perfect in every way. Hikaru realized that that was the same as saying it about himself, as the two of them were identical. Yet there was something so distinctly different about his younger brother that made him believe he was the perfect one; the one who was constructed the best with the most thought. That must have been why he was born second.
And Hikaru loved him.
He loved every perfect and flawed thing about him… because in his flaws he was truly perfect to Hikaru.
He lowered his head to his chest and gently kissed each pert nipple and as he did so, he quite casually took his brother's length into his hand. Kaoru gasped at the sudden contact, eyes flying open. Hikaru looked up, just briefly, and their eyes connected. A beautiful, pale blush reached Kaoru's cheeks and Hikaru could easily tell that he was doing his job well. Kaoru twitched beneath him, bucking his hips upward into his hand, desperate to find release. From simply feeling his brother squirming around him, Hikaru was just about ready to explode.
Not yet! he reminded himself.
"H-Hikaru…!" he heard his brother gasp.
He reached up and wrapped his arms around him tightly, gathering him against his chest. He could feel it. He knew that his brother was getting close to the edge. Hikaru closed his eyes and let himself just feel. Never had he had the chance to feel his brother in that way before and he wanted to savor every moment of it. Just a little bit more, he thought, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth. So close…
Within only a couple more thrusts, both of them came, moaning the other's name. It was a blissful moment like the two had never experienced and Hikaru had already made up his mind. He was determined to enjoy it to the fullest. He kept his brother against him, rolling over just slightly so he could pull out of him, yet keep his twin on top of him. They were indeed one big, sticky mess but he didn't care. They stayed there, laying together, gasping and moaning against each other, riding out what was left of their orgasms.
Hikaru ran his fingers through Kaoru's now damp hair, bringing his breathing back down to a slow, steady pace. Kaoru's curious nose nudged his brother gently under his chin and he kissed his neck lightly here and there a few times. Tilting his head a little to the side, Hikaru glanced at the bedside clock and realized that they would already be late even if they tried to leave. More and more, the prospect of staying home in bed with Kaoru was becoming appealing. Oh, what would the host club do without them?
They would have a nice, peaceful day, most likely.
And as amusing as that thought seemed, he still needed to ask approval from his brother… who seemed to be drifting back to sleep. The cut on his finger had been forgotten and he just laid there on his chest, breathing in sync with each and every breath Hikaru took. He was adorable and Hikaru cursed himself for interrupting his peace.
"You know we might have to actually… you know… go to school, right?"
Kaoru only mumbled and snuggled against him. Out of the mess of whatever it was he was trying to say, Hikaru definitely caught an "I love you" but he was almost afraid his ears were deceiving him.
"Fine," Hikaru conceded, resting his head back against his pillow. "But if they ask what we were doing, we're going to make something up, okay?" Not that they had to, he remembered. The Hitachiin twin fortune was made on incestuous innuendo, after all. A silence followed and Hikaru got the feeling he didn't have to say anything else. Kaoru was quite fine and cozy just laying on top of him and it wasn't looking like he was going to be moving any time soon for him, no matter what he said.
He grinned and ruffled his little brother's hair, closing his eyes, giving in to his lazy ways. "Fine, Kaoru," he mumbled. "I love you too."
Author's Notes: That was a lot longer than I expected it to be. The whole point was to provide some good twincest smut, seeing as how FFN is distinctly lacking some. So, I hope you enjoyed that. (I tried my best to make them as cheesy as they are in the manga.) There's no guarantee that I'll write more for the pairing or the series, but I sure do have a lot of summer time on my hands now. I hope you liked it! Feedback is appreciated!