Too Much Alike

She had never noticed how alike the three of them were. Considering that the other two annoyed her immensely, Gaz never would have bothered to think of it that way. It had all started the day that Dib had stayed quiet while watching "Mysterious Mysteries" while she had decided to humor any act of asking her to watch by sitting on the couch playing her Game Slave 2.

"Aren't you going to say something annoying?" she had asked him by the second commercial. It was almost as irritating waiting for it than actually hearing it.

Dib just looked at her. "Should I? Doesn't that just annoy you?"

"You never seemed to care before," Gaz shifted her gaze onto him suspiciously as she reached a save point.

"You never seemed to care either," he had replied, gesturing as his show came back on.

"I don't," Gaz retorted. Her eyes turned game ward and she had walked off out of the room.

"I don't care either Gaz!" he called out after her.

Then, she thought about it.

She did not really care about anyone. Just herself. That's how at always had been, always her. Her pizza, her game, her space. Dib had always interfered with that, talking about his paranormal, his studies, his alien. Well, not exactly his alien, but it was always something he had to talk about. They were both self centered. Sure, Dib said he wanted to save the earth from Zim, but that was so people would notice him. Give him the attention he thought he deserved.

She played her games, he chased his monsters. They both wanted to fit in with the world, Dib in the center, Gaz in the shadows.

They were alike.

It pained her to think that about her brother, considering most the time she wanted him to drop dead. But how many times had he dragged her somewhere after his creatures? Only as many times as she had told him to shut up before he had even said anything and who knew how many times she had done that. They were both outcasts of the world they wanted to belong in. People talked to her, yet they feared her. She didn't want them to fear her, she just wanted them to leave her alone. People ignored Dib, thought him crazy. He wanted them to talk to him, to respect him. When would that happen?

Their dad ignored them both.

It was not that hard to pull Zim into it.

"Pitiful excuse! Leave ZIM be, he doesn't wish to be annoyed by your earth stench anymore!" Zim hollered at an unfortunate kid who just happened to be there. He stared dumbly at Zim, trying to think of what he did.

Zim never even spoke to her, unless he wanted something or if Dib had dragged her into their horrible excuse for an argument. Then again, he never spoke to anyone unless he wanted something of them. Gaz knew by now the reason he kept talking to Dib was not one of pride, it was because the two of them had such a jolly good time of yelling at each other (though you'd never hear her say the word jolly.) Zim was not more, not less self centered then as her or Dib. His own reasons of course, proving himself worthy to his own people or something like that, but it was the same. The three of them were alike, though they were completely different people.

So if the two of them started to change, did that affect her? Should she change as well?

"What are you doing here?" Gaz took one eye off the screen to Zim in front of her.

"Filthy-" he hissed through his teeth.

"Dib! It's for you!" she shouted.

"-homework, assignment, Dib-sister," Zim finished. "Paired up."

"Uh huh," she turned from the door and walked away, not able to help overhearing what was said next.

"Hey Zim, ready?"

"If you insist, Dib. But I'll have you know I despise every minute of your pathetic existence that I spend with you!"

"Well, okay. That's better then hating every minute of my existence."

"LIES! That's what I said, big head!"

"No it's not!"

Gaz's screen flashed with the lights of game over. She didn't notice as she turned her head back to the closed door. Names without insults? When had Zim ever been able to say Dib's name without some type of suffix? And when did Dib not respond to his most hated insult of his head? She should of guessed that they would have gotten used to each other to the point of some sort of a civil conversation (well, that is a civil conversation for them), but to actually hear it confused her. And she hated to be confused.

She hated waiting and by the time she had told herself she had been patient enough so when he arrived she should strangle him, he arrived. Gaz stepped out from behind the stupid lawn gnome that Zim thought was normal to face the before mentioned.

"Ah! Dib-sister!" Zim squeaked, which if she was the type who laughed in people's faces, she would be laughing right now, and every other time the alien squeaked. "What are you doing here? Why haven't the gnomes attacked you?"

"You and Dib, you hate each other, right?" Gaz ignored all of his questions.

"Heh?" Zim cocked his head. "Of course we do! Don't confuse us for those disgusting things called friends!"

You are the closest thing Dib's ever had for a friend, thought Gaz, her face not changing at all. Everything she had ever done in her life had made it so Dib couldn't talk to her. As strange as it sounded, the only one Dib could talk to about any of his interests was Zim, and he could probably understand what her brother said.

"If you hurt him, you're dead Zim," she growled, causing him to flinch. She didn't know why she said it, but it probably had to do with the fact she wanted to be the one to beat her big brother up. He always seemed like the younger sibling to her, if she had ever bothered, she would have been the one to protect him, never him to her. She did not know why it seemed like a big deal now.

"Hah! Threaten Zim? Try your worst, earthmonkey!" Zim went back into his cocky self, ignoring the death glare that she went him.

"Threaten? Oh, no Zim, it's a promise," she said. Zim had forgotten one thing, she knew he was an alien.

Zim's eyes widened as he remembered. "Don't bother Zim with your presence," he passed her to reach his door. One thing she knew he would never forget, was that she was not stupid. Unlike Dib, Gaz did not wonder why people did not notice Zim's oddities. They were all stupid, she and Zim had gotten that one covered, Dib just did not want to believe it yet.

He took it seriously? she wondered, watching the men's door sign close behind the green boy. Zim had forgotten one other thing, she wouldn't do anything to him because that would mean the closest thing Dib had for a friend would be gone.

And he would probably start to bug her more.

She turned to start back home. Right in front of her was Gir, Zim's robot (out of disguise, but it's not like anyone would notice). He was staring at her with this fascinated look on his face (which if you know anything of Gir, if he actually payed any attention to anyone, it would be scary).

"What do you want?" she growled at him.

Gir just stared back.

Gaz didn't wait for him to reply, if anything, and walked off towards her house.


Nothing made least sense like spending a day with an enemy. The Dib had not appeared to pull anything, but one never knew what the earth boy had in store. Over the years, his rival had gotten smarter, done better, and (if he could dare admit it) nearly beat Zim! This could not be allowed to happen again! He had to be careful, for every moment he spent around him could allow the Dib-beast a chance to defeat him. On the tip of his antennae he could still hear Dib grumbling about the episode that happened in that Christmas time. The look behind his glasses told him that Dib wanted revenge. Deep, sweet, revenge.

Zim shut the door behind him, willing himself to calm down. It was only a little girl, who really didn't care one way or the other if earth was taken over or not. The same if anything if something were to happen to Dib.

"Like anything would happen to him," Zim sneered at nothing. "The Dib-beast is too interesting to destroy so soon. This world would be full of dull without him.

"'Cept purrr-ty lady would kiiiiiiill yooouuuu!" GIR said happily in his sing-song voice. He flipped through the channels as many different languages were heard from Zim's excellent cable.

"No Gir! NO Japanese!" he demanded. "They are wacky! Nothing more insane then what they have to say!"

"Ahhhhh..." Gir replied as if it were something cute.

Zim frowned. He always wondered why Gir never seemed to be able to handle his information gathering like he should have been able to. In being an advanced SIR unit, Zim used to expect some drastic results of his robot, as the Tallest had mentioned. By now, though, he was not really expecting anything miraculous to happen, for he would rather have Gir crazy than trying to kill him for the sake of the mission. Boy, was that a mistake. The closest thing to destroying the mission was Gir. If it weren't for the weather things would be much more simpler.

"Where's Minimoose?" asked Gir, his light bulb blue eyes glued to the screen.

"He's working," Zim replied. "Gir, stop gluing your eyes to the T.V.!"

"Awwwww..." Gir said disappointedly as he ripped his eyes off the the television screen.

"What are we doing tomorrow night?" said one of the voices from the speakers.

"The same thing we do every night Pinky, try go take over the world!"

"Eh?" Zim quickly turned to the T.V. but GIR had changed the channel to something more interesting, like the Angry Monkey Show. "GIR! Put it back! I heard a challenge for earth admitted on that screen! I need to see the face of the perpetrators!"

"I don't know what you're saying," Gir said in awe to his master.

"GIR!" Zim screamed. "Someone's trying to take over the world when it is our- er, MINE for the taking! You hear that? ZIM!"

Gir collapsed into high pitched giggles and rolled around on the floor.


The bigger threat just might of been Gaz, though. She knew of him, not just as him, but as the cursed word of alien that brought dread on his antennae. And the people would listen to Gaz. Unlike Dib, no one thought she was crazy. Even if they did, she could probably scare them into doing what she wanted to have done. If she had ever wanted to, Zim thought with a wry smile, the Dib-sister could take over the world. But, as fate would have it (though Zim was not a firm believer in fate) Gaz didn't want the earth, leaving it ripe for Zim.

After a whole night of finding out that Pinky and the Brain was only a cartoon and not real (which required several failed plans) Zim brought his pak back to the immediate problem of keeping himself safe from Dib. Maybe a way of incapacitating him for one night that would not cause any harm to him (that last part was subconsciously thought, for he was really scared of Gaz if he thought about it, which he didn't).

"I could try to lead him off course with one of his other victims," mused Zim, pacing back and forth in his lab. "But no, last time I did that he somehow managed to finish that and come back to mess me up. There has got to be a different way, one that even Zim has not thought of yet." He paused as Gir chased thin air up to the base and back, with Minimoose in a tow.

"Ah HA!" exclaimed Zim. "I know the perfect thing to distract the Dib! For how long, most likely a long time! Now, just how I can get close enough to pull it off," and Zim fell into a strange silence, thinking hard how to pull of his plan.

No one knew how much he actually had studied on Dib, trying to find a weakness that would actually work. But there was one that he had always taken for granted, why, now when he thought about it he had no idea, was Dib's eyesight. When he had first come to earth, he thought they were some sort of device to help Dib see better. He was right, but it wasn't that Dib could see better than everyone else, is was that he needed them to see just as well as everyone else. The fact he noticed things was just a perception problem, which Zim decided he could work on later.

Dib only knew about one of Zim's disguises, which gave Zim the exact advantage he needed to put his plan into action. Gir would definitely give it away though, so he commanded the robot to stay home.

"But why!" the way Gir shouted it, it was not a question, just syllables to yell out.

"I need to be sneaky, Gir!" Zim explained. "And you're not... hidable."


Zim left as fest of was Irkenly possible.

It was not hard to find Dib, considering he followed him when he left his house. Gaz apparently wanted some more batteries, and Dib unwillingly volunteered for the job. He didn't even volunteer, Gaz just appointed the duty to him while he was figuring where the Spring Heeled Jack was that was rumored to have been sighted down the street. Dib figured he could get more second hand accounts and maybe a first hand account from the strange hobos in the center of the city who seemed to know more then they ought to. Or so he told Gaz as she pushed him out of the house.

The sixteen year old glanced back at the door for a moment before sighing and heading into the city. Zim grinned his evil grin and followed him, inconspicuous, of course. It didn't stop Dib from suspecting anything, especially after the third Chihuahua was chucked into an alley way.

"Gaz is right," Zim heard Dib sigh. "I am getting really paranoid. But if I don't watch for anything out of the ordinary, who will protect earth?"

That hadn't changed. Dib was always talking to himself.

Zim waited outside as Dib went into the store for the batteries. Noticing a "NO LOITERING" sign, Zim's mechanical legs came out and ripped it off the wall as he pretended to be looking a different way.

"-I wonder if Gaz might do me a favour someday, for all these times I go to get batteries for her," Dib was saying as he walked through the doors. Zim took this as his chance to take the glasses from off of the tip of the thing that the humans called a nose.

"Try getting home now, stink-beast!" Zim exclaimed as he ran off.

"ZIM!" Dib shouted after him. "Give those back!"

Zim just smiled evilly to himself as he ran all the way home.

"Mission success Gir!" Zim told him happily. "The Dib won't be in my way for a while!"

"Can Mary come over?" GIR asked him. "I wanna show him my gum collection." Gir's mouth opened showing a large wad of gum.

"Ew, no," Zim grimaced. "I don't think I'd even torture my worst enemy with you GIR."

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!" Gir shouted, choking on his large gum wad in the process.

"Hmmm," Zim studied the lenses and the rim. Then he put the glasses on. "AAAAHHHHHHHHH!" he flung them off his face.

"Fries!" Gir grabbed the glasses.

"Dear Irk!" exclaimed Zim. "The Dib is blind!"

"Huh?" Gir finished eating the glasses.


Gaz was his little sister. He really didn't mind going to get her batteries for her game. He just wished that maybe she wouldn't play the game as much, and maybe she might pay attention to what he said. Like that would ever happen. He was not a complete idiot, he knew that every time that he said something to Gaz she didn't care. But it did take a certain amount of interest to pretend not to know anything, and by now he had figured out the amount of times in the past she had used something he had told her about to get him away from her. Just someday though. Someday she could show a bit of compassion for him. Or maybe she really didn't care, just like she said?

And then there was Zim. There was a silent agreement between the two of them now, Dib didn't think he could actually subject a living creature to go through a biopsy, and he had figured out that Zim could be easily bored without something to think about. He wins, Zim dies. Zim wins, Dib lives as only someone there to interest the alien. Dib had told Zim that he would rather die, but Zim said that he would rather live. It was a confusing arrangement between the two of them.

And Dib hated to be confused.

"God, I should have seen this coming!" Dib shouted at the dark sky, even though he was not a firm believer in religion. Dib guessed it was night because of the amount of darkness that surrounded him. The passing lights and the water that came up and soaked him told Dib that at least he hadn't wandered into the road yet.

He had stopped shouting after Zim for at least an hour now, or so he could only guess. Frantically Dib would squint into a street sign to figure out where he was. He had called to see if anyone was around that would help him, but there were no answers. Dib himself was soaked to the skin because of the passing cars, but he had made sure to keep the batteries completely dry. Gaz would not be worried, she would be furious that he had not brought her power source back. Most likely she had raided his room to see if he had lied about having any batteries in there.

He wished that she would be worried about him, but most likely if she was mad enough, she would go after Zim, thinking Dib was there trying to capture the alien.

"How did I let Zim get away with this?" Dib breathed to himself, chancing a dart across the street, hoping to catch his foot on the sidewalk. He did, landing face first on the concrete.

He had been so stupid! How could he have let this happen? Dib could have laughed, except he was hardly in the mood. He had pretty much had been asking Zim to get away with it. Dib had never even imagined that Zim would go for his glasses, he had taken them for granted being there that he didn't have a second pair with him, or think he would ever be in the situation of being practically blind in the center of the city.

Dib was very optimistic. Very, very, very optimistic. How else could he have put up with all of the junk he did without actually snapping and going as insane as people say he is? It was becoming hard to be as optimistic as he normally was. It took to much out of him nowadays to do as much.

He pushed himself up and kicked the pole in front of him, which he could only tell was there because of the faint light that was lingering above his head. His hard boots made the pole ring, making Dib wonder whether or not it was really stable. He reached forward to see if he could feel anything, connecting his hand with a brick wall.

"Wall... sidewalk... broken light..." Dib mused. Then he brightened. "Of course! Neilat street! I am almost home! I should just go this way!" he started to run in the direction of his house, only to hear a loud noise in his ear as a car came down the road.

"Watch it!" the drunk driver yelled (which made sense for him, cause as much as the driver knew, Dib was on the road, but little did he know that he was now halfway on the sidewalk).


Was it possible to care?

Right now? No, that was silly. Not possible of that.

"Where. Is. Dib." Gaz's voice had a very dangerous edge to it. She was about to beat the Vampire Pig, had almost had his health down to zero, when her game shut off, devoid of power. She figured that she had waited long enough for Dib to return, too long. Would he have dared face her rage? Would he have actually of gone to annoy Zim when she told him to come back immediately? Gaz didn't think so, but that didn't mean that Zim hadn't put Dib in a prison tube or something.

"I don't know," Zim said, but not in his no nonsense way, the way he would say it when anyone else would ask why she was asking.

"You do know then," Gaz put up an umbrella and opened it as suddenly the skies opened and started to pour. "Get him."

"I don't!" Zim shouted, looking nervously at the sky, then Gaz, as if trying to decide which fate he would much rather condemn himself to.

"HI!" Gir shouted happy, a piece of metal, sticking out of his mouth.

Gaz took the glasses, crunched into almost an unidentifiable shape, out of Gir's mouth.

"These are Dib's glasses," she said, making out the shape.

"Gir found them..." Zim protested, "I know nothing of the Dib."

"I'm not stupid ZIM!" she shouted in his face, a bit of water flying in his direction. "What the hell happened!"

"I stole them!" Zim cowered before the wrath of Gaz. "When he was buying your batteries! He's probably still out in the city!"

Gaz just gave him a death glare and walked away. Dib's eyesight was probably even a bigger flaw then how annoying he was. Their dad had to fix the prescription, for no doctor made any lenses strong enough for him to make anything out.

Right outside his front yard, she pulled the plug on a strange alien cord that was heading into Zim's house.

"NOOOOOOOOO! MY PRECIOUS PLAN!" came the scream of doom from the suddenly black house.

Gaz headed out into the streets, her intent completely on her batteries. If she managed to find Dib as well, all the better for him.

It was past midnight by the time Gaz got back into the house. It took her about five minutes to get her batteries, but she spent hours out in the rain, searching for Dib, which she found no trace of.

"Well, at least he wasn't hit by a car," she muttered, entering the house. She was about to turn on the light, but her GS2's screen was glowing. She walked over, putting her new batteries on the table and picking her game up. The screen was on pause, the background showing her fatal enemy about to die. Next to it, was a whole box of new batteries, even more then what she had told Dib to pick up.

He's home, Gaz thought about being angry, yelling at Dib for making her search for him, just to get her power capsules, of course. But then she looked at the game she had thought she had lost, and listened to the hacking cough upstairs. She could let it go, just this once.

She didn't bother to knock on the door, considering that she never did so anyway. She strode over to Dib's bed where he was lying, eyes closed and looking exhausted. No blood, so Gaz wasn't worried. She set down the tray beside his bed, the soup still steaming. She opened the arms and set a pair of new glasses on his nose.

"You look weird without them anyway," she told his unconscious form. She then un-paused her game and continued where she left if, as if nothing was different. She wouldn't be able to stand it if Dib knew it was her that got him anything.

They were alike, in their strange ways.

Gaz smiled. The three of them would do anything to survive, not caring about anyone else's life. But she figured everyone could change.