Disclaimer: KH belongs to blah blah blah and all the all the characters belong to blah blah blah, people who aren't me.

Warning: Enough OOCness to kill a person dead, I tell you. And gayness, if that bothers you. Sorry about the grammar mistakes and stuff too.


"Not today, Ansem.", Sephiroth scowled, already anticipating the glomping.

"Oh," Ansem waved his hand daintily," Don't worry Sephy, I'm not in love with you any more."

Sephiroth's right brow furrowed and he lowered the newspaper slightly to look at his almost counterpart. "Is that so?"

Ansem hummed happily. "Mmm-hmm. I've discovered the most amazing man on the planet. He's . . . " Ansem sighed, eyes becoming starry," adorable! And sweet and kind and perfect, for me!"

"Uh-huh.", Sephiroth pursed his lips, "And who might this 'most amazing man on the planet' be?"

"Well . . . Cloud."

"...Cloud Strife."

"Yep."

"...the blond?"

"Yeah."

"...Okay."

Sephiroth looked relieved and Ansem faltered.
"Aren't you . . . y'know, jealous?", he had hoped for a somewhat better reaction.

Waving a hand at Ansem, Sephiroth went back to reading his newspaper," If you said anyone else, I might have been. But technically Cloud and I are the same, so you'd still be in love with me."

Ansem pouted, "What if...I decide that I love Leon?"

"I'll kill him."

A smile formed on Ansem's lips. "Oh. Okay."

They were quiet for a few moments, the only sound being the rustling of Sephiroth's newspaper. Finally, Sephiroth looked back up over his paper at Ansem. "Why are you just standing there?"

"Oh, I just wanted to tell you...that I've changed my mind."

"So you do love Leon?", the newspaper crinkled beneath Sephiroth's fingers and his eyes narrowed.

Laughing, Ansem shook his head, "No. About not loving you anymore. I changed my mind."

"Ah. That's good.", Sephiroth set the paper down now, "Because if I did kill Leon, Cloud would probably be pretty pissed."

Ansem sat next to him,"And that bothers you why?"

"Don't you love him too?"

He was thinking now. Ansem put a finger on his chin in thought and regarded Sephiroth carefully. "Is that a trick question?" Sephiroth smirked, "How would that be a trick question?"

"Well...I should say yes, because I love you and I should love him because he's...you.", Ansem paused. "But! I should also say no, because he's not really you...Right?"

Sephiroth pulled Ansem closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Well...what do you really think?"

"He's..."Ansem laid his head on Sephiroth's shoulder, "Annoying. All he ever talks about is Leon, Leon, Leon." He sighed, "And he's not very smart."

"And..."Sephiroth was looking at him expectantly.

"And...He's very cute." Ansem stopped to think about it and made a confirming sound. "Yes, very cute." Judging by the expression on Sephiroth's face, that hadn't been the answer he was looking for, so Ansem quickly made amends. "But that's how he's different from you, because you're...handsome.", his voice was breathy and he trailed his fingers over Sephiroth's prominent cheekbones.

Sephiroth just smirked in reply, ego still being boasted, as Ansem leaned more against him and sighed dreamily.

5 Minutes Earlier

Cloud rubbed furiously at his ears, unable to rid them of the strange tingling feeling. He tore his gaze away from the cartoon he was watching, turning to his lover who lay stretched out on the couch with a book on his chest, dozing off. "Hey! Leon, are my ears red?"

"Uh-huh." Cloud scowled, "You didn't even look! Be serious."

Grumbling under his breath, Leon cracked an eye open. He blinked it a few times, trying to get it to focus. He stared at Cloud with one eye, then opened the other and stared some more.

"Well?", Cloud was getting impatient. "Yeah, it looks like you got stung by bees." , Leon told him matter-of-factly. Cloud pouted, "Don't you even care?"

"No. Take care of yourself."

Leon rolled over, ignoring the torn-between-fuming-and-sulking man. "Cloud, turn down the tel–eehh...ACHOO!" He sat up quickly, "Arg. Cloud, can you get me a tissue?"

The blond smirked,"No. Take care of yourself."


Induced by the mass conversation of several people trying to explain the plot of FFVII and KH to an unknowing person, and the awful heat.