Hey, all! This is a YYH Fic starring Kurama as he begins his senior year of high school and tries to live a relatively normal life as Shuichi Minamino after the Makai Tournament. Little did he know that high school would be crazier than fighting demons!
Anyway, this takes place after the series (obviously) and, for anyone who knows about the Full Metal Panic (series), is basically like Fumoffu, except with YYH. It's pretty much wacky high school hi-jinks, no angst, and A LOT of crazy high school students and teachers that poor Shuichi has to put up with, lol! Many of the characters have been partially inspired by other animes - there's the psychotic rival who hates Shuichi (El Hazard), the obsessive Shuichi Minamino Fan Club President (Fruits Basket), the well-endowed, arrogant nymphomaniac and her gay partner-in-crime (both a cross between Ayame from Fruits Basket and Naga the Serpent in Slayers), the perverted male teacher (too many animes to list, lol)
Beyond that, there's Shuichi's half-brain dead, sort-of-girlfriend (yes, she's THAT stupid) and her overprotective twin brother in need of anger management classes (both based on the YYH manga characters Maya and Tasaka Kitajima - using MANY liberties, of course), the apathetic Yuu Kaito (which you may remember from the Sensui Arc as one of Kurama's classmates - he had curly hair and glasses), Shuichi's neurotic, tyrannical teacher, Tasaka's troublemaking best friend, and Shuichi's clueless step dad and suspicious younger stepbrother, the latter which you may also recall from the TV series.
As for the rest of the YYH cast, they do actually show up a few times, especially Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Keiko, although I'm going to try to get some of the other cast members in (particularly Botan). Oh, and Hiei WILL show up for the grand finale (that is, toward the end) because, well, Hiei's just grand finale material, lol.
Anyway, this was pretty long, but think of it as a preview of what's to come (I've already written through the first seven chapters). As for the story, I hope you all enjoy! None of this is supposed to be too serious and is more of a parody/satire/black comedy, so don't expect any angst! Most of the characters are either nuts, stupid, self-indulged, or a combination of the three, but they all are relatively good people…relatively…lol! Well, no worse that the Urusei Yatsura cast or something (another inspiration, might I add…)
Well, here goes nothing! I now present chapter one of Everybody Loves Shuichi!
Everybody Loves Shuichi!
Chapter One: Shuichi's Greatest Rival! Shuichi's Greatest Fan!
Six months - six months had somehow been erased from Kokoda Hatanaka's memory. One moment, it was autumn; the next, it was suddenly spring. There were vague pieces scattered in his memory - something to do with his older stepbrother, Shuichi, he was certain, although exactly how he was involved was still unclear. And he did recall something strange about a bluish apparatus growing out of his head…
But, of course, that was ridiculous, Kokoda knew - and as Shuichi was apparently studying abroad when Kokoda finally regained sense of himself again (at least, according to his parents, anyway), it wasn't too difficult for Kokoda to shake the uneasy feeling he had about the whole situation over the fleeting months. At the very least, he was able to bring his grades back up, as during those forgotten six months he seemed to have been "severely unfocused on his schoolwork," according to his teachers, as well as regain the friendship of his peers who also felt that he had "completely lost it" during those six months. Apparently, he had been quite a different person - as if his mind had somehow been absent from his body while his body had been hijacked by a very rude, apathetic, and pathetically unconvincing imitation of himself. Yet he really couldn't remember much of his interactions during school hours, but, out of fear of sounding completely insane, pretended that he did and then tried his best to shrug it off as just some odd "faze." And so, just as Kokoda's uneasy feeling soon faded, so did the memories of Kokoda's drastic personality change during those six months, which became just as forgotten to his friends and teachers as they did to Kokoda himself.
However, this all changed when Shuichi finally returned home from his supposed "study abroad" trip - two years from when Kokoda suddenly woke up from what seemed to be a six month sleep. Kokoda's uneasy feeling quickly came back, as much as Kokoda attempted to suppress it as he was fond of his older stepbrother. Now, a month had passed since Shuichi had arrived back home and Kokoda's suspicions had built up until they were driving him to near obsession - he needed to know what had happened during those forgotten six months and what it had to do with his older stepbrother - and what in the world was that blue apparatus he kept recalling? Moreover, as Kokoda continued studying Shuichi, he found himself discovering more unexplained occurrences revolving around his stepbrother - mysterious absences, strange shadowy figures, this nagging sense that Shuichi was hiding something. It wasn't exactly that he thought his older stepbrother was evil - he seemed to be all-around amicable, anyway, and Kokoda really did want to like him - but Kokoda couldn't help but think that his older stepbrother was…weird.
And, after a month, Kokoda finally cracked. He approached his father and suddenly blurted out, "He's weird!"
Jiro Hatanaka lifted his eyes from his newspaper in puzzlement to see his son standing before him with this desperate, frantic look in his gaze. Jiro frowned, unsure at to what Kokoda was actually talking about. "Who's weird?"
"Shuichi - I'm telling you, he's weird!"
Well, this is unexpected, Jiro thought, placing his newspaper on his lap. He remembered having read something about this sort of thing when he first planned on marrying Shiori - something about the potential problems between stepsiblings. But that was over three years ago and it seemed odd to Jiro that such problems would arise so much later - not that Jiro could recall much of the article he had read. Still, Jiro had always thought that Kokoda had liked Shuichi. True, they hadn't seen much of each other since the marriage as Shuichi was studying abroad, but, at least in the beginning, Kokoda had seemed to really look up to the intelligent, kind young man. Jiro, however, put on his best sympathetic, "parenting" smile and said, "What seems to be the problem, Kokoda?"
"I already told you - Shuichi is weird!"
"Yes…right…weird," Jiro repeated, buying some time for him to come up with some sort of answer. He never did seem to be good with this sort of thing. "Uh…how so?"
"I'm just telling you - he is!" Kokoda, exasperated, exclaimed.
"Well…is weird such a bad thing?" Jiro asked, unsure what else to really say, following it with a sort of half-chuckle. "I mean, we all have our quirks…our eccentricities…" He trailed off, again lost for words - after all, he had little to go on, as his son refused to clarify any further.
"This is different!" Kokoda insisted. "There's just something about him…"
Now what did that article say, Jiro, meanwhile, thought, trying to recall that parenting article from so long ago. "Um…now…I know that its difficult for you to…uh…accept this situation," Jiro began, trying to remember some generic ideas from the article, "but, I assure you, my marriage to Shiori does not mean I don't love you."
Kokoda frowned at this and asked, "What are you talking about, Dad?"
"Uh…what are you talking about?" Jiro countered with desperation.
"I'm talking about Shuichi being weird," Kokoda replied.
"Yes," Jiro strained to answer, as his son's statement was just as unhelpful at the rest. "Well…have you talked to Shuichi about being less…weird…?" That sort of seemed like a good suggestion. Encourage talking, Jiro thought. The books and articles always talk about that kind of thing…I think…
Kokoda, in the meantime, let out a sigh at what he perceived to be his father's usual weak advice. At least he tries…sort of, he thought with a frown. Still, there was really no use in talking to his father about it any further; not until he could come up with some more tangible evidence to validate his theory that Shuichi was indeed strange - something that his father could get an actual grip on, which always proved to be a difficult task. So, Kokoda mumbled, "Thanks a lot, Dad," as sincerely as he could before plodding out of his father's study, defeated.
And Jiro frowned and scratched the back of his head before giving a satisfied shrug and returning back to his paper.
Shuichi Minamino - Seita Hachirobei's sworn enemy. If only the young man had stayed abroad; but, no, instead Shuichi had to return for their last year - just when Seita had managed to secure his place as the number one student in Mieou Academy. Now, in only a month, it had all fallen apart for Seita as somehow all his work over the last two years was for naught and Shuichi smugly regained the reigns of the academic sphere of Mieou Academy while Seita was demoted, subjected to playing only second fiddle to the fawned over Shuichi. Of course, Shuichi feigned modesty - acted as if the whole thing was trivial, that there was no real competition - but, unlike the rest of his ignorant and easily manipulated peers, Seita could see well past Shuichi's façade that everyone else perceived as supposed "perfection." Now Seita bitterly and viciously stabbed his pen in his notebook as he wrote down his notes while their teacher lectured, glaring violently at the long-haired Shuichi who sat in the first row, only a seat in front and to the right of Seita.
Shuichi was well-aware of Seita's deep resentment toward him, as well as the ambitious - borderline-obsessive - student's glare digging into his back. He tried his best to shake it off over the last few weeks as well as ignore it now, but he still found it all unsettling. Shuichi chuckled quietly to himself, however, at the ridiculousness of his worries; after all, he had fought some of the most powerful beings in the world and survived. He, too, was one of those extremely powerful beings, he reminded himself. Why should he then be so unnerved by some high school student? It was all incredibly preposterous, really, and he had always been prone to reason over emotion and superstition. Yet, for some reason, he found himself frowning uneasily again. Out of all the danger he had faced over his long life, nothing seemed to have ever made Shuichi as uncomfortable as the crazy eyes of Seita Hachirobei stabbing into him from behind. And, as much as Shuichi attempted to shrug or laugh off Seita's hostility toward him to the rest of his peers, as odd and silly as it was, he never could seem to wholly take it lightly. Despite all this, he knew that Seita presented no danger to him; in fact, he probably was the least dangerous enemy he had every faced - if he could even be called an enemy as he knew the term. However, after careful consideration, Shuichi finally was able to piece together what exactly troubled him so much about such an idle threat as a fellow high school student:
Although he had fought many bloodthirsty, wrathful, and powerful demons throughout his life, there was no one who had ever hated, loathed, and despised him as much as Seita Hachirobei did.
Their homeroom teacher, Miss Chiyo Nagai, concluded their history lecture for the day, slamming her book shut and suspiciously eyeing her students as she cautiously moved into a new, dangerous subject - the elections for class representative for class 3-4. "Now, then, as we all are aware," she began, "the first month of the school year is finally coming to a close. That means, it is time to elect a new student representative for our class, one that will represent us wisely and efficiently as well as effectively coordinate the various activities our class will be participating in throughout the school year. Remember!" - at this, she emphatically slammed her hands onto her desk - "This is not a popularity contest! This is an important exercise of your democratic rights! Do not waste your power of suffrage on some whimsical or romantic notion of a person!" The class frowned, exchanging awkward glances, while Miss Nagai continued on, "Now then, with that settled, today we will nominate the candidates - tomorrow, we will have the vote. I encourage you all, therefore, to use the time in between wisely and weigh the pros and cons of each candidate. Now - any nominations?"
Before Miss Nagai could finish her question, Seita had stood up, vigorously shot his hand into the air, and declared, "Me! I nominate myself for class representative! After all, I have been the class representative of this homeroom for the last two years - who could be more qualified than me? Certainly not someone who disappears for years on some study abroad program - one that, might I add, doesn't even match any program that this school actually offers - just to return for only a month time so far. How could someone like that possibly know anything about how this classroom is run? How could someone like that possibly be trusted not to abandon his school on some foreign crusade to benefit his own desires of travel?" As he said all this, his fierce glare was set directly on Shuichi and Shuichi had to force himself to laugh lightly, as if Seita was merely joking, while keeping himself from uneasily squirming in his seat. Seita then cleared his throat, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink as he noticed the rest of his baffled peers staring curiously up at him, and he hurriedly added, "Not that I was talking about anyone specifically in this room, of course. I was just hypothetically speaking, that is…" trailing off into a sheepish laugh. He then sunk back down into his seat.
Miss Nagai, meanwhile, folded her arms and nodded decisively, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. "Yes, yes; Seita Hachirobei is the first candidate," she concurred aloud, although she seemed to be speaking only to herself. "Any other nominees?"
"I nominate Shuichi Minamino for class representative," a female voice from the back row firmly declared.
Seita Hachirobei's eyes shot back to her - Namiko Tatsuya. He perhaps hated her even more than Shuichi; she, after all, encouraged him. Of course, he should have expected it would go this way. Shuichi was too gutless to nominate himself - his feigned modesty wouldn't permit it, anyway - so he had his devoted lackey do it for him. At least, that's what Seita Hachiroebei surmised. He grinded his teeth and his fingers folded into fists as his eyes narrowed.
Shuichi, meanwhile, frowned, wishing Namiko hadn't done that. She always seemed to have a way of making things more difficult for Shuichi, especially in regards to Seita. Her intentions were noble, he supposed, although he found her to be verging on being just as troubling as, if not more troubling than, Seita Hachirobei himself. While Seita had become the person who hated Shuichi the most, Namiko fell on the other end of the spectrum; never had Shuichi met someone who absolutely adored, loved, and cherished him as much as Namiko Tatsuya did. He had, however, been used of the majority of the female population of the student body being infatuated with him for quite some time, but Namiko's devotion was far beyond the other girls'. She was, after all, the proud, self-proclaimed president of the Shuichi Minamino Fan Club, which, from what he had gathered, she had developed with a few other girls during his absence as if to fill the void of the missing Shuichi. She was also very vocal in her assertion that Shuichi, indeed, was "perfect in everyway possible," and had defensively set herself up against Seita Hachirobei to counter his claim that Shuichi was "flawed in everyway possible."
As Miss Nagai began to nod her head as she did previously with Seita self-nomination, Seita's head jolted back toward the front of the room as he exclaimed, "I object!"
"You can't object!" Namiko shouted back before Miss Nagai could say anything.
"Now, now, there's no need to argue about all this…" Shuichi trailed off with an embarrassed laugh as he, as usual, tried to make light of the situation. However, he was ignored by both Seita and Namiko. Meanwhile, Yuu Kaito, who sat behind Shuichi and was the only student in the class aware of Shuichi's double-life as the fox demon Yoko Kurama, just sighed and shook his head. Realizing this was going to be another lengthy debate and already growing frustratingly bored by it, he pulled out a manga from his backpack and began reading it, which caused Shuichi to frown slightly.
Seita now stood up, indignantly questioning, "Did you not hear anything I said in my nomination speech!"
"I thought you were speaking hypothetically!" Namiko rebutted, standing up, as well.
"I - I was!" Seita faltered for only a moment before he confidently came back with, "And now the theory applies!"
Namiko, however, was not impressed. "Shuichi's time studying abroad does not detract from his qualifications. In fact, it amplifies his credibility! He has a lot more useful experience from world society and can offer a new, fresh perspective rather than the sorely lacking perspective of the incumbent!" She let out a victorious laugh at this as Seita looked ready to burst a vein.
Miss Nagai saw the events unfurling exactly as she feared. She had to put a stop to this madness once and for all. "Silence!" she shouted and both students recoiled fearfully back into their seats although their indignant, self-righteous glares returned to them in only a moment's time. "Now then, if there are no other nominations, we will proceed directly to the vote…"
"But, Miss Nagai, didn't you just say that the vote would be tomorrow?" one of her students innocently asked.
Miss Nagai's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as she shot the student a glare. She had said that, hadn't she? However, as certain students in her class had failed to master civility yet, she had no choice but to alter her previous decision. As she saw it, she could not allow such a dispute to fester any further, especially with her class being swollen with swarms of Shuichi "fan girls" who all violently eyed Seita Hachirobei with contempt. How they could all so pathetically be devoted to one person grated on Miss Nagai's nerves, but, nevertheless, their power was too much of a force to be reckoned with. If she were to dismiss the class before a fair vote was carried out, she was certain that Shuichi's devotees would use their "influence" to sway the votes of the others in the class. Although, from what she had gathered, most of the class - if not all - would favor Shuichi, anyway, save the sole dissenter, Seita. Still, at least a confrontation couldn't break out any further between Seita and the rest of the class, particularly Shuichi and Namiko, if she expedited the vote. And so it all dwindled down to a popularity contest, as usual; she supposed it was better than the last two years, however, when Seita was the only one who actually ran. And, even if it had been reduced to a popularity contest, at least the popular choice happened to be an intelligent young man with promise.
"Yes, I am perfectly aware of what I said," Miss Nagai finally snapped and the student cowered a bit. "However, the vote will occur now. A show of hands for Seita Hachirobei?"
Seita rose his hand.
Miss Nagai sighed, the results all too predictable for her taste. With little enthusiasm, she then asked, "And Shuichi Minamino?"
Everyone - except for Shuichi himself, and, of course, Seita - rose their hands.
"So it's settled," Miss Nagai declared, "Shuichi Minamino is the new class representative for class 3-4. Class dismissed."
There was a great big cheer as everyone in the class quickly rose from their seats and rushed Shuichi's desk to congratulate him. Kaito, however, remained in his seat reading his manga, while Seita looked distraught and disillusioned, although the outcome had been painfully obvious from the get-go.
"But…but…but…" Seita stammered. He stood up and stumbled from his desk, somehow making his way up to Miss Nagai as she packed her things. "Miss Nagai! You can't allow this! I have worked two hard years as this class's representative and now, in my senior year, you're going to allow this - this imposter to take the position!" He then slammed his hands on her desk and said, "I demand a recount!"
Miss Nagai raised an eyebrow. "A recount?" she questioned with a sharp chuckle. "I think I can count one hand, Mr. Hachirobei."
"But…maybe there was a more sheepish hand in the wings somewhere…you know, somewhere in the back corner…?"
Miss Nagai shook her head. "Such is democracy, Mr. Hachirobei."
"Stupid democracy…" Seita grumbled as his fury flared up in him again
Meanwhile, Shuichi had managed to rise from his desk and push his way through the crowd to Seita. Humbly, and with some guilt and sympathy for the poor Seita, Shuichi extended his hand, the victor, to his defeated rival and said amiably, "Good try, Seita. You were a worthy opponent."
Seita wanted to lunge at him. That condescending little… he thought before his mind fell into profanities.
Meanwhile, Shuichi's fan girls gushed, "Oh, how honorable! Isn't Shuichi so kind? It's so admirable!"
This caused Seita to want to lunge at Shuichi even more - with a sharp object. Yet he forced his raging scowl into a grin - although his face was still visibly seething with his anger as he eyed the patronizing smile of Shuichi with scorn. But, with everyone staring at him, he had no choice but to accept the supposed "cordial" offer of Shuichi - after all, he couldn't let his arch-nemesis win two battles in the span of five minutes. So, sucking up his pride and with every bit of willpower he had, he pushed his hand forward and grabbed hold of Shuichi's, shaking it as he tried his best not to pry his fingernails into Shuichi's flesh. Then, saying what seemed to be the most difficult words he ever had to say in his life, he replied through tightly clenched teeth, "Thank you, Shuichi; I really appreciate your kind and meaningful words."
Shuichi noticed Seita's severe grip and strained words of appreciation, but skillfully kept his smile in place. "Not at all, Seita," he said with a chuckle.
Seita coughed out a laugh, gave Shuichi's hand one last angry squeeze, and then released him. He then raised his chin, stood painfully erect, and curtly remarked, "Good day, all," before marching out of the room, seeming even more furious than before.
And Shuichi frowned, wondering if his humble gesture had been the best course of action; for all his tactical skills, he always seemed to play the wrong move when it came to Seita Hachirobei.