"Courting Catastrophe"
By: Liebling
Published Date: 6 June 2006
Disclaimer: The X-men…um, so not mine. And I only have a lease for Remy on every other weekend from ten-to-five.

Remy had always been one for the thrill of things in life. Whether it was working side-by-side with some of the greatest thieves in the world or travelling the globe with nothing but his coat and somebody else's wallet in his back pocket.

Life was good.

But with such a liking for things that he couldn't have, it was only inevitable that he would have fallen—hard—for someone who called herself a Rogue.

"Coincidentally", they had kept on running into each other on and off battlefields ever since last August after Apocalypse. One thing led to another, and soon they were both sneaking out of their respective homes for late night chats about their own personal lives at the local coffee shops. They had only semi-officially gotten together just a week after New Years two months ago.

But before he could even get near Rogue, Remy had to systematically sneak past the security system, cloak his scent from Wolverine by travelling downwind, find her window, climb the big oak tree, make sure her valley-girl roommate Kitty wasn't in the room, and then convince Rogue to actually let him in.

Which was exactly where Remy was.

"Roguey," he whined to Rogue through the window, "S'il te plaît!"

"Ah dunno, swamp rat," she shrugged indifferently, trying her best to hide her smile, "Ah'm feelin' awfully tired. I think I'll just get some sleep while everybody in the whole mansion, 'cept me, are all the way downstairs in the recreation room."

"Y'er cruel chere. Remy thinks you be enjoyin' this game just a little bit too much," he said flatly, "Can't you jus' let the poor Cajun boy in?"

"Ah dunno...Logan could just pop back in from Canada any minute now," she teased, leaning her forehead against the window.

Remy sighed, unbelievingly. Logan was out of town and Rogue was being difficult. "Y' killin' me." It wasn't the best thing to say, he realised seconds later as her grin gradually drifted downwards. It was a sensitive topic that always came up whenever Remy tried to steal a kiss. She always thought she was going to seriously hurt him one day with her powers.

"No frownin' in front of Remy, chere," he admonished leaning his forehead against the glass as well so that they were just a fraction of an inch apart, separated by glass. "It doesn't become y' at all,"

They both stood there for a moment looking at each other's eyes through the window. That is, until Remy customarily kissed it and watched as she lightly kissed the spot where his lips had just been on the other side…

Rogue then threw open the window and sent Remy crashing to her room floor.

"Cute, chere, real cute," he grumbled from the ground as she closed the window behind him. He pulled her laughing figure down with him and casually putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Only four more months to go, right?" she asked, looking past him and onto the wall on her calendar.

He nodded, "July. And then the contract with Magneto is up and I am free to join you X-Men in all of your spandex glory." Remy rolled his eyes.

Rogue glared, "I thought you said that you didn't mind the spandex,"

"On you, Remy don'," he said.

She elbowed him lightly in the stomach and they both sat in silence until Rogue asked, "How's Piotr's mother doing?"

"They think that if Magneto keeps paying th' bills for 'bout another year, she'll prob'ly almost fully recover,"

"That's good," Rogue commented, "Is John's family making any effort to contact him back?"

Remy sighed and nodded, "They want nothing t' do with him an' hope that he never sets foot in their tobacco fields ever again. Or even Australia, f' that matter."

Rogue grimaced, "And your family…?"

"Jus' want me back so that me an' Henri can be the designated witnesses to the standard sixth month temporary peace treaty, amongst…other…things."

Rogue didn't miss how the southern dialect seemed to slip away as his voice grew serious and almost depressed. After a moment she spoke up, "Magneto has screwed up a bunch of lives, hasn't he?"

"True," Remy nodded in agreement, "but," he pulled her into his lap and wrapped both of his arms around her waist, "if Magneto hadn't pulled Remy outta N'awlins when he did…he might have never met you," Remy kissed the top of her head, making sure that he didn't touch her skin.

"But until then we have to keep pullin' all of these Mission Impossible stunts until the contract is over," she said, sighing into his chest. "This bites," she grumbled.

"Remy t'inks dat dey're quite exhilarating, chere," he whispered deeply into the covered crook in her neck, practically feeling Rogue roll her eyes, "Rogue?" Remy looked down at the top of her head.


"There's something I oughtta tell y'..."


Remy swallowed, "I'm—"

Rogue suddenly yanked herself out of Remy's arms, "Shh!"

Remy was about to give an opinion on the abrasive treatment she gave him, but then he heard it; someone was briskly walking down the hallway, undoubtedly on their way to her room. "Get out, get out, get out!" she hissed, pulling him to his feet and opening the window again.

"Hey, Rogue?" a voice said from outside the door, possibly down the hall a bit.

"Just a sec, Kitty, I'm changin'!" said Rogue frantically before turning to Remy and ushering him to the window.

"I'll see you Friday, okay, cheré?" he whispered.

"Yeah, yeah, now get lost!" she snapped.

"Really now, chere, is that anyway to—OOMPH!" Remy had just been, literally, thrown out the window and landed on a rather uncomfortable bush. Ah, the prices of dating an X-woman.

Remy could hear Rogue briskly walking to the door above him and allowing her friend to enter from and their conversation dully being overheard.

"What?" She snapped.

"Um, are you sure that you don't, like, want to play karaoke with everyone else?" said Kitty, "I mean, I'm sure that we, like, have the—erm—Garbage CD somewhere downstairs,"

"No thanks, Kit, Ah just wanna read mah book," said Rogue.

"Um, what book?"

Rogue paused and probably tried to visibly find a book or at least think of something, "Ah…Ah—oh for the love of god, Kitty, just go away,"

"Well," huffed Kitty, "Mr. Logan says that if you don't start socialising with everyone, he's going to make you tutor the new kids on top of your regular Danger Room sessions,"

"Wha—? That's hypocrisy!"

"It's no big, Rogue," he heard the valley girl say, "Let's just go, like, watch some TV or something,"

"Fahne," Remy heard her grumble, "Be there in a sec," he never heard the door touched and assumed that Kitty had just run through it like she usually did.

Rogue's face loomed over from the window, bangs brushing against her cheek.

"You okay?" she whispered.

A grunt.

"See you Friday! Same time, same place!" her face disappeared.

The lengths he went to for one girl…

Tap…tap…tap…tap…tap…tap…Rogue flicked the pencil back and forth on the table as she and the rest of the X-Men team sat in the lecture hall. Tap…tap…tap…

Rogue was, quite obviously, bored stiff.

"Further more," Scott continued as everyone inwardly sighed, even the professor, "If we end our Danger Room sessions ten minutes earlier, but start them twenty minutes earlier—" the room's occupants groaned and even Jean seemed to be torn between audibly sighing and audibly strangling her boyfriend "—we should increase our stamina, agility, and have fewer problems with getting to school on time due to the upcoming exams,"

Tap…tap…tap…tap…Rogue sighed deeply and gripped the pencil with both her hands as if trying to transfer all of her stress into the piece of wood.

"Very well, Scott," the professor said from the far end of the table as he began to turn his wheelchair towards the door, "We'll see what we can do. I believe that this meeting is adjourned, you may—"

"Hold it, Chuck," Logan interrupted, stepping out from one of the darker corners of the room, "I found these," he threw down a small white cardboard box onto the table and everyone leaned in to look, "in the yard last night on my rounds."

It was a half empty cigarette box.


Everyone in the room turned to Rogue as she dumbly held the broken pencil between her fists, "Sorry," she muttered quietly, dropping her hands.

Scott looked positively scandalised, "Smoking on mansion grounds is punishable by five demerits—"

Logan rolled his eyes like everyone else present.

"That's not the point, one-eye," he said, "It wasn't a student smoking. I could smell the card-charging Acolyte's cologne all throughout the security system and past the gates."

A curious murmur broke out; one that Rogue did not participate in but began to fiddle with the pencil pieces with an unusual amount of vigour.

"What should we do about this?" Scott continued, ready for action.

"Nothing," he said sharply, "So far it just looks like Magneto's goon is just observing the mansion. The adults—" everyone groaned loudly, figuring that they're were going to be missing out on all the fun, "—will be on the look out for 'em. You kiddies aren't allowed on the grounds after seven o'clock without any of the senior members. That means no parties, no mall escapades, no sneaking out after hours, and for the love of god don't do anything stupid. Dismissed."

Everyone protested and groaned again as they pulled their squeaking chairs away from the table and left the room, telling their neighbours how annoying the new rules were.

Kitty slunk back into her chair and muttered, "Jeez, like, way to have trust in us,"

"Especially you two," Logan said gruffly as everyone exited the room and held up the packet, "I found the box almost just below your window. I want you two to be extra careful, alright?"

"Whatever," Kitty rolled her eyes, not as easily phased be Logan's tough demeanour anymore and walked off, leaving him slightly steamed.

"I mean it, half-pint!" he shouted after her before turning back to Rogue with a more serious look on his face. "We don't want another Mardi Gras incident like last year, okay, Stripes?"

It had been nearly one year, she realised.

"Yeah, Ah'll be fahne," She said almost too innocently for Logan's liking. Truthfully, she had already told the professor last February that she was going to take some personal time off during the week of Mardi Gras, which was only five weeks from that day, to clear the air back at her old home.

Remy had told Magneto almost the same thing.

"Please, chere?" begged Remy next Friday late at night through the glass window.

"Ah dunno, swamp rat," she chided from the other side, "I don't really feel up for anything tonight. Not to mention Logan got a whiff of your cologne last week and found your smokes."

He grimaced.

"Ya'll in trouble?"

"Just you,"

Remy stayed silent as she glared at him through the window, "Remy's not getting' through t'night, is he?"

"No," Rogue snapped the curtains shut.

"How 'bout," Remy pulled a rather large package out from behind his coat, "a bribe?"

The curtains were whipped back open to reveal Rogue's quirked eyebrow before she slowly unfastened the window panel, "You speak mah language, Cajun," she moved out of the way to let him in. "It's not stolen, is it?"



"'Kidding, chere, 'kidding!"

"Lahke we need the police snoopin' around the mansion again," she grumbled irritably.

"That was one time, Rogue—"

"An' guess who had to lie and say that Pietro stole diamond necklace worth a quarter million dollahs for meh?"

"Remy knows that his gal likes th' sparkly stuff,"


"Oops?" he said sheepishly.

She looked at him with a long hard penetrating stare, "Wasn't tryin' to be funny, swamp rat,"

He jostled with the package for several moments under her scrutiny before handing it over to her and both taking a seat on the bed.

"What? No bow?" She smirked.

"Learned m' lesson th' last time," He muttered under his breath while watching her sit next to him and tear through the box like a kid on Christmas. It made him wonder what sort of gift he should get her for the upcoming December. The very thought of being with Rogue, or even just one woman, for such a long time nearly made him fall off the bed. He was already thinking about their next Christmas and it was only March.

"A…dress?" It was obvious she was holding in her disdain for the sake of sounding grateful for the gift she received.

Remy rolled his eyes.

"Not just any dress, cher," he said, grinning at the wary look she was giving him, "C'est une robe f'r salsa-dancing!"

"Yah...got meh a salsa-dancing dress?" Rogue replayed slowly, not comprehending.

His grin only widened, "Y' get one guess as to where Remy's takin' you tonight,"

Rogue chuckled while lightly fingering the dress, "Logan's gonna kill meh," she grinned.

"Do Ah even want to know where you learned to salsa dance?" shouted Rogue over the music as Remy sent her into another twirl.

"Y' kiddin?" he answered back, "Remy knows th' salsa, tango, meringue, foxtrot, and the waltz, cher. Y' gotta be askin' what does Remy not know?"

She laughed, "Alright, Cajun, what don't yah know?"

It wasn't exactly subtle, and clearly out of the blue, but he told her: "I don' know why you would settle for some one like Remy,"

The twirls stopped and their laughter deceased and Rogue pulled back her hand. They both stood in the centre of the dance floor as other happy couples glided around them, oblivious to everyone else.

"Remy," she stammered out at last, "Ah…Ah thought that we…Let's, uh, let's get some drinks,"

It would give her a chance to get her thoughts in order and Remy to furthermore question his doubt.

Rogue ordered their drinks, "Two waters, please," and then turned back to Remy who took a seat on the stool next to hers, "What is going on in that big ol' head of yours?"

He shrugged her off carelessly.

"Remy jus' don't think—"

Rogue cut him off, "Yeah, Remy just don't think, does he?" she snapped and took an angry sip out of her glass. "Ah mean…jeeze, Remy, do you really not trust me? After everything Ah've put on the lahne?"

"No," he said quickly, "Its just that Remy…god, Rogue, there's jus' so much I haven't told you and it's not like y' to trust people easily,"

Rogue stayed silent and suspicious-looking, curling in her lips angrily, "Yah're right," she agreed, "But Ah…Ah trust…you, Remy." She said it as though someone had a gun to her back, he thought, "We come from the same neck of the woods, remember? You said 'we could right a book about it, couldn't we, cheré?'. Remember? 'It's you an' me 'gainst the world?' or, how 'bout my favourite, 'I'll be there for you,'?" She was becoming angry and almost hysteric, and she wasn't quite sure why her eyes felt so heavy.

"I know, cheré, but it's jus'…I don' t'ink you know,"

"Ah know that I can trust you, because yah're just like me, okay?" she snapped out again. Remy tried to speak again, but Rogue continued by slamming a fist on the counter. "Do you doubt yahrself? Is that it?" she demanded, "Because Ah trust you, alright?" Rogue said more softly, more sincerely as she put a gloved hand on his cheek, "So please, just tell me what's wrong so we can make it right."

He sighed and looked at his untouched water glass and brushed his bangs out of his forehead. "Rogue," started Remy, "Before y' an' met, y' liked Scott."

"Yeah," Rogue said aggressively, "But Ah'm over him,"

He shrugged standoffishly, "I know, but it was the type of person Scott was. An' y' know how dif'rent th' two of us are…I jus' can' see how y' could have possibly liked two entirely different people."

Rogue leaned in uncharacteristically close and breathed, "Scott was...the first person to reach out to me. And if it weren't for him, Ah wouldn't even be at the Institute or in school or have the friends that Ah do...So Ah'll always owe him something for everything he did to bring me to the mansion. But Scott doesn' really understand me or why Ah am the way Ah am, and Ah don't think he ever could the way you do,"

"Y' mean that?" He asked from under his half-hooded eyes.

"Yeah, do you?"

"Does Remy what?"

She rolled her eyes, "Does Remy think that he understands me more than anyone else probably ever will?"

"Yeah," he said, finally, "Remy does,"

"Good," She grinned. The grin was a short epidemic that Remy caught on to easily, two rows of dead-straight teeth gleaming brightly as they stared.

"Y' beautiful, chere,"

"Now yah're just trying to make me blush," Rogue laughed at last.

Remy chuckled softly until his grin began to drop and his face became serious, "Belle, there's something I really have t' tell y'…"

"Rogue! Rogue, please! Wait up!" He was running after Rogue after she had jumped up from her stool and stormed out of the club and into the brisk night air. Occupants had turned their head in their direction as they watched as Rogue ferociously swiped at a glass on the counter and witness it shatter to the floor. The one thing Remy had promised himself years ago was to never chase after a woman who didn't want to be caught, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to let this one get away.

"You lied!" she snapped, whirling around, "Damn it, Gambit, yah're engaged!"

"I know!"

She gave him disgusted look. Remy suddenly realised that, perhaps, wasn't the best thing to agree on.

"But I didn' plan on it! It's unconventional!"

"Married!" she gasped out, "Yah're getting' married!" the shock never seemed to fade and she only increased her stride.

"Please, Rogue, just let me explain!"

No answer.

"Rogue!" he grabbed her elbow lightly.

"DON'T TOUCH MEH!" she yelled, yanking her arm back and with desperate speed, she hailed down a taxi as Remy watched her go.

The lengths he went through, the lies he told, and the secrets he shared with her…it was like courting catastrophe.

"Hey, Rogue? Are you feeling okay?" Kitty asked her the next morning, "You look a little down. Did you, like, not get enough sleep last night or something?"

Not a wink.

"Ah'm fahne, Kitty," Rogue gritted out, giving her a patented death glare.

"Um…okay, if you're sure,"

She didn't see him again for another three weeks.

Meanwhile, Remy was torn between letting Rogue cool down, or bursting down the mansions gates with his bare hands and telling Rogue the truth. More so than ever because Mardi Gras was approaching quickly and he had promised to introduce her to the rest of the Thieves Guild family.

That idea was pretty much shot to hell unless he did something and soon. The thought led him back to Rogue's locked and window with the curtains drawn three weeks after their argument.

He waited until he heard the door open and knew it was Rogue—Kitty never opened her door—and the light switch flickered on.

He knocked on the glass, "Rogue?"

The room went still, he was sure of it.

"Get out of here, Gambit," he heard her sneer from across the room.

"Chere, Remy jus' wanna talk,"

The lights went off and the door began to shut, "Rogue," said Remy in a loud warning voice, "If y' don't open this window right now, I swear I'll blow a hole straight throu' the damn thin',"

The door shut once again, the lights came back on and Rogues footsteps were heard making their way across the room in an angry pattern. The curtains slid open revealing Rogues angry glare. "Ah woulda thought thaht threats were below yah, Cajun," she sneered, unfastening the window, "But then again, Ah suppose that yah're just crazy enough to do it," It was a snide reminder of the boxcar incident last year.

Remy wasted no time climbing through the window and immediately launching into an explanation.

"It's an arranged marriage," he said immediately, "Belladonna is th' daughter of Marius Bordeaux who is the leader of a rivalling family called th' Assassins. Remember them? Our fathers got together and decided to marry us off to each other thus ending any and all rivalry by putting the N'Awlins underground under one ruler Y' remember th' Thieves Guild and my father last year when I…took y' down for Mardi Gras?"

"Vividly," she drawled.

"Well, that's why I took th' gig with Magneto last year or else y' would be looking at an assassin's husband," He grimaced, "Rogue?"

She still hadn't spoken her opinion and her features were being shadowed so that Remy couldn't read her face's expressions.

"C'mon, chere, y're startin' to scare Remy," he tried to laugh. He contemplated on reaching out to her.

"Jeez, Remy, Ah had...Ah had…for the past three weeks," she said, "Ah was...Ah was trying my hardest to let you go,"

"Rogue," he began to breathe again, "I am sorry that I didn't tell y' about me and Bella," He apologised sincerely.

"Ah know you're sorry, you stupid swamp rat," she rolled her eyes, as she turned to face him, "You'll always be sorry when you make a mistake. And Ah don' always want to be having to forgive you. Ah just told you that night that Ah trusted you completely!"

"I know," he sighed, "An' I knew it wasn' fair to lie to you anymore. Remy would've told y' sooner…but Remy was afraid you'd get mad. Jus' like this," he motioned vaguely in her direction. "Remy don' want t' lose y', cheré," he pleaded.

Rogue looked as though she were arguing with herself before she sighed out, "Stupid, Cajun," and Remy wasted no time throwing his arms around her like he had done so many times before and was pleased when Rogue apprehensively wrapped hers around his waist.

They stood like that for a minute until Remy spoke up.

"Y' could absorb me, cheré," he offered.

After a moment's hesitation, Rogue shook her head, "Naw," she said into his chest, "Ah trust yah,"

"Really?" He was surprised.

"Really," She nodded, holding on tighter.

"Y're too trustin', beb," Remy admonished lightly, and expected her to respond, but Rogue remained surprisingly silent and they found themselves still locked in the fierce hug.

That is, until the door was kicked open and Wolverine stormed through, fists balled tightly. Remy and Rogue both jumped two feet apart, both looking frantic, sheepish, and both with the patented "Oh, shit," look on their faces.

"Uh, uh," Rogue was thinking frantically, "we're undah attack! Magneto's goons are here to, um, kidnap—"

"Rogue," said Logan, "We know,"

She made a wild hand gesture towards the door, "Good, so then let's go get the others—!"

"No, Rogue," he said again painfully slow, "We know,"

"Oh," was all she said, looking at Remy who looked just about as sure as she was.




"There's actually a, um, a funny story to all of this…" tried Rogue.

"I bet," Logan said gruffly, "And you can tell us all about it in Chuck's office. Let's move it, Stripes," Remy tried to subtly slink to the window, "You too, Gumbo," He left the room knowing they would follow or face harsher consequences.

"Gumbo?" Remy whispered to Rogue.

"He's gotta name for everyone around here," she whispered back though it was rather futile with Logan's hearing.

The walk through the mansion to the professor's office was like a walk of shame. All Kitty needed was one quick look around the corner and she phased through the entire mansion, telling everyone what she had seen. Soon enough, faces were poking out of doors or around the corners.

It felt like Logan was walking extra slowly just to make things worse.

The passed by Kitty and Jubilee for the third time (the two had doubled back twice) when Rogue caught part of their conversation:

"I mean, it's Rogue of all people," said Kitty, still gob smacked, "Rogue was sneaking a guy into the mansion! An Acolyte, too!"

"Damn it, Kitty, Ah'm right here!" Rogue snapped, and attempted to go after them, but Logan grabbed her elbow and kept her walking forward.

Logan didn't bother with knocking on the Professor's door, but charged right in and shoved Remy forward through first.

"Found the Acolyte," he said gruffly at the Professor's confusion, "With Stripes," Logan pushed her forward into the room.

Charles Xavier sighed, "Ah, well, I'm looking forward to this story," and he set his hands into a steeple and sat back for what promised to be an entertaining conversation.

After nearly two hours of being interrogated by the Professor, and Ororo restraining Logan before just eventually escorting him out of the room, the senior X-Men had come to a reasonable agreement. Rogue and Remy were allowed to leave for the Mardi Gras trip as long as:

Remy and Rogue were not allowed to see each other after six o'clock.

Remy and Rogue were not allowed to leave the mansion's grounds after three o'clock.

Remy was not allowed anywhere in the mansion, especially the girls' wing.

Rogue was not allowed anywhere near the Acolyte base, especially Remy's room.

All the rules aforementioned, of course, were broken within the next two weeks, not that the professor ever found out.

Did Logan know about the Mardi Gras trip?


Did he ever find out?

Of course, but that was after he realised that Rogue did not have a sick aunt named Bethany that had required Rogue to go south to care for her.

Hours later when the students were distracted in the recreation room, Rogue was escorting Remy to the exit—Logan only ten paces behind them.

"So all's good?" Remy asked, making a nervous look over his shoulder as he placed an arm around her shoulders.


"O'course," Rogue smirked, "'Sides Ah know you won't do anything stupid like get caught again,"

"Y' trust me that much, cheré?" he asked as they walked to the gates together.

"Yeah," she shrugged with an easy grin on her face, "Besides, if yah ever even think of hurtin' meh," she motioned her head behind them, "Ah'll have Logan all over your ass fastah than yah can say gumbo,"

Remy laughed, "'Love y', too, chere,"



Yeah…um, happy day of the devil?

Have a nice day?