Negi: Alright, people, I've called you all here today to discuss something very important to all of us, a decline in fan service.
Konoka: Excuse me, but what's fan-
Asuna: Shut up, Konoka. No can possibly be as dumb as you act.
Negi: …As you know, the manga was catering towards the standard otaku audience, with a bit of a young-adult twist, so less fan-service then Love Hina, but still a good amount. Then there was the first anime, which was designed for the kiddie market, so practically none! Then,the second series, and bam! More fan service. With collectible cards. And now, a live action series, and you know what that means-
Ayaka: (excitedly raising her hand) Ooh! Ooh! Child pornography!?
Asuna: WHY AREN'T YOU IN JAIL, YOU PEDOPHILE?!
Meanwhile, at the residence of Ken Akamutsu:
Police Officer: Sir, you'll have to come with us, we've found child pornography all over your house.
Ken Akamutsu: You don't understand! It's just the live action series of my latest manga!
Police Officer: Tell it to the judge… fucking pervert.
Ken Akamutsu's Wife: I'll always love you, Ken!
Ken Akamutsu: Wait for me Naru! No jail can hold our love apart!
Editor's Note: Ken Akamutsu's wife looks a lot like Naru Narusegawa from Love Hina. Seriously. Look it up. It's hella creepy.
Asuna: Hi Negi! What crazy adventure are we going to get into in this manga?
Negi: Uhm… I really don't know, all I have is this letter that I'm supposed to read from Ken Akamutsu…
Asuna: What does it say?
Negi: Hm, "Dear English-Speaking readers: Fuck you. Lulz. Sincerely, Ken Akamutsu."
Negi: (Gesturing towards Emma Watson) Yeah, I'd hit that.
Kotaro: What about Ron?
Negi: What the FUCK about him?
Kotaro: N-Never mind….
Eva: To everyone writing lemons about me: Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?
Sayo: I-I don't mind, really, I don't!
Eva: Shut the hell up, you dead virgin. No one will ever want to sleep with you. Let alone write a lemon about you.
Sayo: sob My- My little brother said I was pretty!
Eva: Oh yeah? How many doujinshi's have been written about you? Ever?!
Sayo: (sobs weakly)
Eva: That's what I thought. Incestuous whore.
Konoemon Konoe (The School Dean of Mahora): I'm relying on you, Konoka and Asuna, to "take care of" Negi. He-he-heeeee…..
Asuna: Okay, seriously, who here is okay with a creepy old man being the Dean of an ALL GIRLS SCHOOL?!
Asuna: You know, it's kind of worrying that the most normal character we have is secretly a net idol.
Chisame: What about Chizuru's roommate?
You know, Misora.
Asuna: Again, who?
Editor: Misora Kasuga – No one cares about her. She's probably a lesbian too. What a shame.
Yue: (sobs) Nodoka, I'm so sorry I tried to kiss Negi behind your back!
Nodoka: Oh, it's okay, Yue.
Yue: (sniff) R-really?
Nodoka: Yeah, you're so undeveloped, there's no way Negi would ever go for you. You're practically as flat as a board. What are you, five years old?
Yue: …Slutty bitch.
Setsuna: You mean the spell that made you our age is irreversible?
Negi: I'm afraid so.
Asuna: Seriously, what the fuck? Is there any goddamn police in Japan? Ever?
Chisame: Dear Kotonon of Sayonara Sensei: Back off, bitch, or I will personally fuck you up beyond repair.
Eva: Seriously? The power of love?
Voldemort: Look, could you just drop it?
Eva: Sure. Whatever. …Pussy.