Title: Kitchen Talk: Kennedy's Story
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the universe they live in.
Summary: The night before the big final battle, Buffy and Kennedy have a talk.
I'm scared. That's not an easy thing to admit, ever if it is only to myself. I'm not scared about the battle tomorrow; the idea of dying doesn't seem to bother me. I'm more upset about what Willow just told me. At first, I thought she was joking. The Scoobies prescribe to a black humor that only they seem to get. Must come from living on a Hellmouth for so long.
But it didn't take me long to realize that Willow wasn't joking. She's serious when she says I might have to kill her. All I want is to curl up with her and try not to think about it. She says that she'll be there in a minute but I can tell from her hunched posture and scrutinizing look that she plans to spend all night reviewing her flashcards.
I don't understand magic. I didn't even believe in it, until Willow showed me. And know that it exists and have seen how powerful it can be, I'm scared with what it will do to Willow. I'm afraid that if the time comes, I won't be able to do what I have to do and at the same time, I'm scared 'cause I think I could.
I need a drink of water, I thought and slipped out of the room. Willow didn't even notice. I needed something stronger than a glass of water but they don't have hard alcohol in this house. Maybe beer though, I added hopefully.
But when I got downstairs, Buffy was already there, drinking what was probably the last beer in the house. Damn her.
Before I can slip away, she sees and acknowledges me with a "Couldn't sleep?"
Can't back out now. Buffy's sort of like a wild cat, cute but deadly. And she can smell fear. I walked into the kitchen and over to the fridge. "Willow's reviewing that magic stuff for the third time. She's real intense. Figured I better leave her alone for a bit." I opened the fridge. It was pretty bare. No point getting food for a bunch of people who are gonna probably be dead tomorrow, I guess.
I poured myself a glass of cold water, closed the fridge and leaned against the counter. Buffy and I stand in uncomfortable silence.
"The others are playing D&D in the dining room." Her head rolled more than turned toward me and her voice had a slightly drunk quality to it.
"I'm not that desperate yet." I replied, as I sipped my water.
Buffy gives me a polite smile. "It's the waiting that's the worst part."
I nodded in agreement before downing the last of my water and put the empty glass on the counter. There was no point in putting it in the dishwasher. Dead people don't need clean dishes. They don't need dishes period.
I started to get up to leave when Buffy finally spoke, hesitantly, "Did Willow tell you..." Buffy trailed off but I knew what she was trying to say..
"What I have to do if she goes all... creepy. Yeah."
"Can I count on you?" Buffy asked, "Because if you can't, I can get Faith or Xander to be with Willow."
I shock my head. I knew as well as Buffy did that if our plan doesn't go as planned, they'll need Faith at the front lines, not some potential, no matter how well trained I may be. I also know Buffy wants Xander with Dawn, for personal reasons. "I can do this."
"I have to be able to trust that everyone is looking out for themselves. Doing what they're suppose to be doing." Buffy actually grabs my arm and looks me straight in the eye; she doesn't look the least bit drunk anymore. "The fate of the world may depends on you. Sometimes the life of one person, even a person you love…" Buffy's voice trailed off and her hand dropped from my arm.
Buffy scares me. When I first met her, she seemed to be such a joke. But she gets these moments, these real intense moments, where she gets right up into your face and you can see her eyes and you know that she's already been down the road I'm walking. I don't know the story but maybe, someday, if we live, I'll get to hear it.
"You can count on me." I said. Buffy didn't say anything else and I left to go back upstairs. Willow, to my surprise, was actually asleep, hunched over her studying. I put her to bed and I curled up with her. And I don't have a single thought about tomorrow.