Disclaimer: I do not own x-men

Thanks to everyone who keep reviewing and reading this story! You guys are pretty amazing!! Lots of fanfiction love you! I'm pretty sure this is going to be the last chapter...I don't really have any story left to right with this...so enjoy!!

What I wanted

Chapter 14

"Hey Rogue."

"Am I dreaming?"


"You're hot."

"I know."

"Are you leaving… again… John?"

"I'll be back…."

"You fell asleep…"


"John…I don't want to go back…I want to stay here with you."

"Rogue…what do you want?"

"Are you leaving… again… John?"

"I'll be back…."

"John…what's happening?"


"I won't leave you again. I'll always be back. I promise."

"I love you Rogue."

There were memories with details that were clouded in smoke. The floated around her mind aimlessly. She wanted them to stay there…forever. Never to let go of the few moments of happiness that she had. They were crumbling beneath her and turning into ash and no matter how hard she tried to hold on to them they would burn…


For the first time in a long time…she felt cold.


And there was that voice again begging her to come out of her slumber. It wasn't John's voice. No if he was here she would already be warm and safe in his arms. No, she didn't want that if John wasn't there. There was cold metal and itchy cloth beneath her. It began to get harder and hard to continuing fighting. She didn't want to go wherever she was going…she wanted to stay in this place of her smoky memories. But no matter how hard she tried the coldness gripped her and pulled her out of her sanctuary.

"Rogue wake up…"

She let out an annoyed and half pained groan as the light pierced her shut eyes. Even through her closed eyelids she saw the bright light above her. Awake she was…but that didn't mean she had to come to face where she was.

"She's awake…she's going to be fine…" an intellectual voice said echoing through the room.

Her senses grasped her as she navigated around with her eyes shut. So far as she knew she was laying down with people hovered above her.

"Rogue are you alright?" she heard a boy say followed by clumsy footsteps.

"Maybe you should give her some time…" a gently airy voice followed.

Now she knew. She knew where she was. Those voices. The coldness. The X-Men. She knew where she was now. The boy was Bobby and the woman was none other than Storm.

Yes. She knew where she was. She knew that when she opened her eyes she wouldn't see him: that he wasn't going to be there no matter how long she would wait and wish for him. He wasn't going to be there…so she decided to stop fighting.

Her brown eyes opened unknowingly that tears would spill out burying her memories deep within her heart where they would always stay. Although something was wrong, something felt like it shouldn't. Her memories weren't just memories and they weren't just going away.

"Rogue! Hey…" Bobby said as he stood beside hospital bed. "You're okay…"

"Actions speak louder than words," he said turning around.

"You're so selfish! You didn't stop to think how it would affect us did you? Affect Bobby: your best friend?

"Bobby? We were never the best of friends," he argued.

Her head tilted to the side to see him. Same ice blue eyes and beach blonde hair. He looked at her with that same damn innocence that she hated. He smiled at her with that same stupid charming smile. It made her want to burn the whole damn place.

In any other situation she would smile back, but something inside her was different. Something inside her changed and she wasn't the Rogue that they knew anymore. She didn't return his smile or his innocent gestures. She simply pulled herself up and looked at the people who were invading her personal space.

"Give her some space kid," a husky voice said.

Her eyes shifted to see the owner of the voice. Logan. Logan was here with the others. Bobby. Dr. Hank. Storm. Kitty. Jimmy. Everyone was there but one.

There would be no questions to ask where John was. She knew they didn't know and they didn't care. It made her care about them even less.

"The gangs all here!" she said. Her voice and fake smile dripped with sarcasm.

Her remark took Logan back as his brow furrowed. "Uh…you alright kid?" he asked folding his arms across his chest. If anyone knew Rogue he deemed it himself and something just didn't seem right… "Looks like you got a little banged up back there in the fight."

"Yeah we it took us a while to find you and pull you outta there…" Kitty replied.

Rogue looked at the other brunette. She cringed at the thought of the two of them having anything in common.

"Hey," he said coolly with a smirk, although his smile didn't match the rest of his appearance. There was a large gash on his forward just below his hairline. The blood had dripped down the curves of his cheek almost down to his chin

Immediately she closed the distance between them and put a hand to his head. "John what happened?" she asked worriedly. She looked up at him catching his eye contact for a few seconds. Despite his condition, he couldn't help but smile when he looked at her.

"It's just a scratch," he said as he put a sleeved arm to his wound. He dabbed it with the end of his sleeve, leaving a dark blood patch on the cloth. Despite his amateur medical treatment of his sleeve his wound was still bleeding.

"Yeah, thanks to furball here you didn't bleed to death," Logan said almost eager for nay response from the southern belle.

Rogue raised her hand to her forehead and felt a bandage just below her hairline. She almost laughed at the irony. "It's just a scratch," she said with indistinguishable emotion as she put her hand down.

The room fell silent for a few moments as all eyes were on her although she didn't care. Her head jerked up slightly giving off a nod to the people in the room as she slid of the hospital bed.

"I don't like uncomfortable silences," she said waving her hand up in the air. She didn't care if she needed more medical attention or not, she just wasn't going to stay here.

"Whoa whoa hold it kid, what do you think you're doing?" Logan said stepping in front of her.

"Rogue please…you need to rest…you've been through a lot…" Storm said reassuringly.

She twitched at her teacher's comment. What did she know? How did she know what she had been through? Had she become a telepath while she was gone?

The past few days…weeks…months? Her memories were mixing together…some were hers…and some belonged to another…His memories burned to be set free. His memories that somehow stayed with her. All his memories that she had taken and all the memories he had shared with her were starting to take over.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Pyro?" Calisto asked just as he was about to pass her.

Pyro turned around to face her. "What the-hell-do-you-think-I'm-doing," he asked in a mocking tone.

Rogue smiled ever so slightly almost in a mocking manner as she looked up at Logan. "What-the-hell-do-you-think-I'm-doing?"

"Rogue…we're just trying to help…" Kitty said.

"Rogue we're just trying to help!?" Bobby said almost demanded in the way that he did. Always the good guy and always following the rules.

"C'mon ice-man, make a move," he said.

"Same old Bobby, still afraid of a fight!" Pyro yelled to Bobby's back. A smirk appeared on his face as he watched him walk away.

"What are you gonna do about it Bobby? C'mon make a move," she said with a smirk evident on her face as she stepped up to him. Even though she had to tilt her head backwards to look up at him there was no sign of fear in her demeanor.

He looked down at her with his blue eyes not making any sign of movement which made her smile a little bit more.

"Same-old-Bobby, still afraid of a fight." He flinched shocked at her words. He couldn't and wouldn't believe that it was her that was talking.

"What is your problem??!" the kitten asked stepping to Bobby's side.

She turned on her heel ignoring the kitty cat's comment. The fire slowly crept around her like a flame burning the edges of paper. Sooner or later it would consume her. And part of her wanted it to.

"Who's talking? You? Or Pyro?!" Bobby yelled to her.

She stopped pondering his words for a moment. Her eyes glanced around the room. Looking at the people she used to know. There was no doubt that she still cared for them as they cared for her…but she didn't want to be here…not when something was still missing.

"They told us to stay here…"

"You always do what you're told?"

She moved passed Bobby. She moved passed Logan and wanted to leave behind all the people and comfort that she had known just as he did..

Suddenly she felt a tight grip around her arm. "Rogue, don't do this. You're not thinking straight…I know this isn't you. Just calm down…" he said again…demanding silently as always.

He relaxed her arm as she made no sign of escape hoping that his words had reached her. Her eyes fell to the floor as her hands buried themselves in her pockets….to find…something…something small and metal in her pockets that she didn't realize was there before.

His lighter.

"Rogue...what do you want?"

Her lips curved up into a smile as she pulled the device out. There was no mistake it was his. It had the same stupid shark sticker on the side. It was one of a kind; a unique detail that he had put on his prized possession that he carried everywhere. So…why was it in her pocket?

Click Click Click

The familiar sound reached her ears as she clicked it open and close like he did so many times. Once it annoyed her…now all she found was comfort in the lighter's melody because it reminded her of him.

Click Click Click

She turned to see a pair of ice blue eyes staring back at her. His eyes begged her to reconsider.

"You always do what you're told?"

She smirked at her ex-boyfriend. He didn't know her at all. None of them knew her at all and yet she didn't find it offensive. She didn't find any wrong in them...it almost humored her in a way. "Then you should know I don't always do what I'm told," she replied.

Bobby furrowed his brow in confusion. "Rogue?"

"Rogue…please…I never wanted to hurt you…"

"Marie," she said forcefully. "I'm not Rogue anymore. My name is Marie."

There it was. One of her memories and she knew that she was who she was. Herself again.

"Marie. My name is Marie." she said without force but without any sadness.

"I won't leave you again. I'll always be back. I promise."

"I love you Rogue."

A smile appeared on her lips as she turned towards door but not before turning around to say one more thing. "Stay out of my room."

Click Click Click

No she wasn't going to leave…she wasn't going to disappear like he did. She knew wherever she was that he would find her. That he would find a way back to her just like he promised. She could live with that...at least until they were together again like she knew that would be.

Click Click Click

"I love you Rogue."

Click Click Click