Riku was bored. Riku was leaning back on his chair, chewing on his pencil. Riku was in maths. It was 1998. Riku was fifteen. Riku was actually Riku Angus. And Riku was bored.
The only reason he was in the class in the first place was because he wanted to be a lawyer. Like, really wanted. He liked the idea of having a job that paid so much, and where he could tell people all the reasons why he- all right, his clients- were right, and everyone else was wrong.
Becoming a lawyer wasn't his primary focus at the moment, however. Two other things were. One: it was Monday, bloody Monday, and he's forgotten to do his homework. Not his fault that there'd been a great basketball game on at the park, and that abasketball game that was just dandy to watching while eating fish and chips and drinking beer- and his parents were always telling him to think about his future, which of course made him not want to. The second was of more immediate import- Larxene was sitting next to him. And she had quite a curvy profile, that Riku kind of liked to look at. And Riku had decided that today was the day he was going to ask Larxene Fontaine out. On a date.
He was going to procrastinate first, of course. It takes a lot of stupid things to get you crazy enough to ask out the hottest girl in the year. Instead of talking to her, he talked to Sora just in front of him. They would murmur in low tones, so that no one else could hear them. Sora had a nice voice. He also had a nice face, and a nice body, too. Not that Riku was gay, of course. He just prided himself on being truthful. And he knew that when Sora filled out he'd be hot. Like a bishounen. He'd told him as much- "Sora, you're gonna be a bishie someday," he'd said. His friend had just gaped at him for a while, blue eyes wide, and then asked innocently what a 'bishie' was. At that point, Riku had just given up and stalked away.
Somehow, that led him back to the problem at hand. He wasn't sure how, but it did. And he'd been noticing another couple of glitches in his little plot: Hole No. 1 was that Larxene seemed to be quite interested in Axel Parsons. Hole No. 2 was that she kept getting up and walking over to talk to Axel when the teacher was out of the room, giving Riku a view that rendered him quite incapable of comprehensible speech, or indeed, working on the algebra test the whole class was supposed to be half-way through right now. Axel seemed to be the long-term problem, as Axel was almost as hot as Riku was, and had just turned sixteen and had been given a Porsche for his birthday from his parents.
This, Riku was convinced, couldn't be good for his relationship with Larxene. Such as it was, anyways.
So he still daydreamed. "Larxene?" he would say smoothly, in a gravelly sex-god voice. She would turn, seeing him looking irresistably sexy in his black shirt, silver hair combed just so, and she would swoon and he would catch her and take her to a safe place (for some reason, the words 'night club' kept popping into his head at this stage, although he knew it wasn't really the safest place) and they would dance together and make out and she would know that he was the one for her and everything would be okay and hot. And there would be alcohol. Lots of it. And strawberries and toffee and scantily-clad Larxene. This was his dream.
Unfortunately, nothing went today as planned.
She looked at him when she returned to her seat, back from a small discussion with Axel across the isle. He tried to speak. "Hi." He said. An impressive beginning.
A little hard to do with an eleven-centimetre-long lead pencil hanging out the side of his mouth. For starters, it did not look very attractive. At all. And secondly, he choked. And choked and choked and choked. He was bent double over his desk, retching and coughing and turning rapidly red, and Larxene was sitting beside him looking quite surprised and, for some reason, affronted and disgusted, and suddenly there were several massive wallops to his back, courtesy of Sora who'd finally turned at the sound and had instantly sprung up and started smacking him on the back. He had no doubt that Sora, had he known it, would have tried the Heimlich manouvre and would have nearly killed him. It was just one of those Sora things to do.
The pain that erupted in his back after his beating didn't really help. Not at all, Riku realised, when he came to later on his back beneath his desk and the one behind him. The room was empty but for Larxene, Sora and the teacher. And when he opened his gorgeous aquamarine eyes and saw that the first thing before his eyes was Larxene's coldly beautiful face, he thought that now was the chance.
Stupid, stupid Riku. To be bruising about his left eye as well as having suffered the indignity of being turned down by Larxene Fontaine, falling flat on his arse after choking on his pencil and failing his maths test as well as getting dentention because he hadn't completed his maths homework.
Things never worked out for Riku at school.
Well. Cracktastic much? Haha. I just... had this idea and had to write it. Muchos fun. Called 'Some Day' because it's one of the repeated lines from this hilarious song. I worship The Cat Empire. I truly do. Try googling car song cat empire lyrics and it should come up with the song. Absolutely hilarious, I'm serious.
Well. Uh, bye? I'm on a writing spree at the moment - I feel so guilty for neglecting And I know I have. So expect to see updates for A Ninja's New Fun, akuroku xmemoriesx and Destiny Central soon. And Just Like Him. I'm having fun.
Tally. SilverAuthoress. Rikku. AngelKairi.
-x- crack!pairing goddess -x-