For Propriety's Sake
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
A/N: This is a sequel to Mind Games due to the amazing reviews I got. Thank you everyone.
Song: "This Mess We're In" by Radiohead and PJ Harvey
Can you hear me, the helicopters
I'm in New York
No need for words now, we sit in silence
He hadn't seen her for three weeks and it was exhilarating to see her, kiss her, and touch her again. Well, it wasn't exactly true that he hadn't seen her in three weeks, he'd seen her, he'd fought her, he avoided her like lightening a few days before, when the Brotherhood and the X-men faced off in yet another battle of wills. It was safe to say John was on the other side now.
On his way to the hotel, he was curious to see how the recent face off would effect their clandestine affair, but upon seeing her he had no doubt in his mind that they truly lived in a different world when they saw each other.
She was quiet at first, withdrawn, but as soon as she saw him, she walked into his embrace and breathed in the smell of his shirt. It felt as if that home she so desperately wanted to get back to was hiding behind this man, who made her feel the safest in a world she knew wasn't exactly mutant friendly.
When he reached down to kiss her, she froze for some reason, tears welling up in her eyes for no particular reason, and she noticed his Adam's apple contract with worry. She knew he was thinking their recent impromptu war council was the cause behind her frustration but he couldn't be more wrong. This was something so different from what she had accepted so long ago.
"I love you." She whispered and leaned into his touch even deeper; trying to be as close as possible to the only thing she considered comfort. He caressed the skin of her neck, and ran his fingers through her hair, not asking questions, accepting her condition as it was, and further exemplifying why she liked this man.
You look me in the eye directly
You met me, I think it's Wednesday, the evening
It wasn't until they made it to their designated room that she told him the real cause of her consternation.
"Logan knows and he's pissed." She bowed her head guiltily and played with the hem of her skirt, distracting John to the point of frustration. He hadn't touched her in three weeks and she wasn't making it easier on him by exposing the familiar, creamy skin of her thighs.
"What did he say?" He walked over to the edge of the bed and instead of sitting down besides her, kneeled besides her and placed a ginger kiss on her knee before pulling her into an embrace. It was insane the power she had over him, both sexually and mentally. It was if she had some clairvoyance specifically pertaining to him.
Rogue leaned against his shoulder, oblivious of the thoughts running through his head.
"Just that I was sleeping with the enemy, which I find kind of funny because I was never a Julia Roberts fan anyway." John let out a small chuckle and kissed her temple in an attempt to calm her down, not that a simple kiss could ease the ache of disapproval.
"Nah, you're ten times more beautiful than she will ever be." He had to admit it was a lame attempt to comfort Rogue, but she took it in stride and blushed profusely, then gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, meant only as a thank you but ending up in something more.
He cradled her face between his hands before caressing her sides, trying to be as gentle as possible even though he was aching with a visceral need he could only recall experiencing the first time they had sex.
"I'm not going to break." Rogue whispered, sensing and certainly feeling his arousal.
John responded with another careful kiss, still putting up a façade, but in a matter of minutes both Logan and prudence were forgotten…
Night and day,
I dream of making love to you now baby
Love making on screen
They lay intertwined for what seemed like hours, when in truth it had only been a few minutes since they last kissed, and now the silence was weighing heavily on the lovers.
Rogue seemed to have found a peculiar interest in the comforter, while John flicked his lighter incessantly. It didn't bother either of them anymore but at that moment Rogue would've have confiscated that lighter at any cost.
"John please stop I have a headache." She rubbed her temples for emphasis and pretending like everything was ok, John smirked and complied.
"I apologize baby, I didn't mean to ravish you to the point of illness."
Rogue laughed in spite of the looming dread she felt, still playing with the hem of the snow-white comforter.
Another few minutes of heady silence passed between them, until John couldn't handle it anymore and before picking up his lighter again he said, " So what did Logan say to upset you so badly?"
Rogue immediately tensed up, her body, that not a moment ago had been so pliant and warm, suddenly turned into, well ice, which was ironic because that's the moment John remembered that Bobby was still in the picture.
"He, uh, I know he didn't mean it. He would never hurt me purposefully, and he seemed to like you-…" "Well, I'm with Magneto now, I'm surprised I haven't been on the receiving end of Wolvie's claws yet."
And I have seen the sunrise over the river
The freeway reminds me of...
Rogue slapped John lightly on his nude torso at the nickname he so affectionately gave to Wolverine. John grabbed her wrist, aching to touch her again, and began to draw lazy circles on the inside of her arm.
"John that's distracting." Rogue said pointedly.
"You're the distracting one." He murmured against her skin, before placing ginger kisses on the base of her elbow.
"I'm never going to be able to finish telling you about Logan if you keep doing that." Rogue warned, her breath coming out in shallow sighs already.
"Then maybe he's not as important." John added, the double entendre evident.
Rogue immediately pulled back, and turned to John angrily, "How can you say that? He protected me and brought me to Xavier's. He's one of the most important men in my life St. John."
"Oh fuck, there's that prefix again." Pyro thought bitterly and resumed flicking his lighter.
Rogue sighed and reached over to the nightstand, pulling out a pack of Capris from the first drawer and trying to make use of the stupid zippo that was uncharacteristically irritating the shit out of her.
"Smoking is bad for you." He stated, though he still handed her the lighter.
"I know." She murmured and exhaled a minty breath.
"Marie." John whispered unsure if what he was about to unveil would bring resolution to the situation.
Rogue looked up expectedly, taking a puff of her cigarette.
What were you wanting?
What was it you wanted?
I just want to say
I just want to say don't ever change
Don't ever change now baby
"I hope you know that no matter what Logan says, I'm not going to let you go." He reached out and brushed the white streak of hair from her face, appreciating the first smile he saw all evening.
Rogue persisted to smile and then proceeded to actually laugh, almost hysterically. John sat dumbfounded, not able to figure out why she was laughing.
She finally turned to him and smiled, "You know what's funny?"
John rolled his eyes, "Well of course."
"That's what Logan said that made me so distraught." She looked down again as John's expression changed.
"That I'm not going to let you go? That's why you're upset?"
"No, no, no, John I was never upset because of that, I just had an epiphany. I realized I'm a terrible person for stringing you along, for manipulating Bobby, for lying to everyone and Logan made me realize that yes I may be in love with you, but sometimes love yields to circumstance."
John could not believe what he was hearing, he was going to kill that son of a fucking bitch, everything was going so well, it was so good up until he opened his animal mouth. Now, this beautiful girl was suffering and all because of Logan. Although this was the pyromaniac side of John that was so angry, his human half couldn't be anything but delighted that for the passed hour, Rogue had admitted her strong feelings for him, and not only she did but also Logan did, which was in some sort of weird quasi way an approval.
And you must leave now
Before the sun rises
He figured he'd get nothing else from the self-healing mutant.
"Marie, darling." He leaned down to kiss her, ignoring the sudden tension looming overhead, "Our love," he added gingerly, cradling her cheek, "is not going to yield to anything if we don't want it to."
He definitely didn't ignore the small smile playing on her pallid features and the affection she showed him in one simple look. John realized then that although their situation wasn't exactly the most fortunate, it was all he could ask for and more; he just wished she could understand that too…
They ate breakfast at a small café close to the hotel. It was still dark outside, close to six in the morning, but they were both famished after their night together and decided to attack the early bird special with full force.
They hadn't spoken about Logan or what he said ever since they fell asleep. John flicked his lighter, remembering how in the middle of the night he woke up to her on top of him, and he couldn't distinguish between his wildest dream and the best reality. Her devious look and seducing movements did him in completely and for the rest of the night he forgot about her doubts of their relationship and Wolvie's big mouth. All that mattered was she and he and that moment.
Now it all seemed as distant as her look as she played with the scrambled eggs on her plate.
"I think I'm going to head back to the mansion." Rogue put her fork down but refused to meet his eye. John refused to believe it.
The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me…
"When will we see each other again?" He asked, hoping against hope he didn't come out sounding like a pathetic, love sick teenager, even though that's exactly what he was.
"You'll see." She said mischievously, and he didn't press her, wondering if what he said the night before weighed any significance against Logan's bold statement of quasi approval.
The rest of the breakfast was spent in silence, and as he flagged her down a cab, as he'd done numerous times, he couldn't help but feel like this would be the last time he was doing this.
A yellow cab finally pulled up and as Rogue got into the cab, he grabbed her arm and kissed her with full force, unable to hide his true feelings any longer. Resting his forehead against hers for a moment, he said,
"I'm not letting you go no matter what any one says, so just know that."
She gave no recognition of his statement but when the cab drove away he felt a rush of confidence foreign to him since last afternoon, and as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the note, he knew no matter what it said, he'd see her again…This mess we're in…