Tales of The Awkward
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It's not like he didn't know what was going on.
He was dense, for sure, but he wasn't that dense.
As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was in the clutches of growing up, and his best friend of over a decade, Kim Possible, was growing up as well... and out for that matter. Ron Stoppable found it very difficult to simply ignore the leers that she got from the boys when he and herself strolled through the hallways of Middleton High. And upon further review, he couldn't blame them... Heck, every so often, he would find himself gawking while she wasn't looking. Hopefully, he thought, while she wasn't looking.
It wasn't exactly something that the blond sidekick was proud of, but what the heck? He was a teenage male dead in the middle of puberty. Just about anyone who didn't have an Adam's Apple was attractive to him. Fortunately, Kim was a lot more than someone with an Adam's Apple.
Last he checked, she was his best friend, and likewise. So just imagine if he got caught...ogling.
The blond cringed fearfully. He had to make absolutely sure nothing would happen between himself and her that would be classified under 'awkweird' ever... In life... or at least until this phase blew over, which had to be about two or three weeks, give or take.
Three Months Later
It was supposed to be two or three freaking weeks. It had been three months (Or at least, that's what the caption had said.) and Ron was still finding himself attracted to Kim. He was still nervous about being alone with her... and right now, the nervousness level had been magnified by about thirty, perhaps thirty-five, give or take. It would have been at a normal gawky teen level had he insisted to stay in the living room... He had knocked on the Possible's door no less than ten minutes ago, expecting Kim to be ready for their next mission.
Answering the door was Mrs. Possible, an adequately attractive woman herself. He had shaken his head at the time, now really wasn't the time for that.
"Good afternoon, Ron," She greeted. "Kim is upstairs changing,"
That was the first thing that caught the young man by surprise. But it wouldn't be the last as he stepped inside the two-story home.
"She just came out of the shower, go on up," The brain surgeon said, ushering him to the staircase.
The color rushed out of the teen's face. Why in the good name of the Naco was Mrs. Dr. P. divulging this classified information? And why did she want him to go up there? Shouldn't she have said something like... 'Ron, you should stay here in the living room,' or something like that? Instead of trying to figure it out himself, something that he would probably have a success rate of zero doing, he attempted to defuse it altogether.
"M-Maybe I should stay here," He stammered. The break in his voice made it sound like a question moreso than a statement. To steady his composure, he tried to ease himself against the banister.
From a short distance away, he heard the unmistakable swish of the daily periodical. That had to be Mr. Dr. P, and maybe with some luck, he would agree. He knew how the Possible patriach felt about boys, and he was certainly a boy! A check into his trousers would reinforce that fact.
"Quit dawdling, Ronald. Kimmie-cub's expecting you," The rocket scientist commanded in his easy-going voice.
The blond nearly lost his grip on the banister. He looked at Kim's mom, wide-eyed as well as mouth agape. What was the deal? Was he not a boy? From the information he was given, this man's pride and joy may have been stark naked up there, and he of all people was given free reign to check it out? Either K.P.'s parents had an enormous amount of trust in him, or they had both simultaneously lost their minds.
Right about now, as the blond reminisced about what took place fifteen minutes ago, the latter was making a lot more sense. The last five minutes were spent pacing around the narrow hallway. What was going on here? How did this even happen? Why didn't he take Rufus with him this day? And... Where on Earth was his inhaler?
Wait... He didn't have an inhaler.
But his heart was racing, and his breath was short. All this because of this... kind of a privelege that he thought would NEVER be given to anyone in life... And he didn't want all this? Noooo thank you!
Hang on... Did he?
He kept pacing fervently. What if Kim was in her birthday suit in there? That would be so... Disgusting?
Waiiit a minute... Disgusting?
He had a vision of the auburn-haired girl fully undressed... he had health class, he had a fairly good idea what the female anatomy looked... and oh man... Why the heck was visualing his best friend naked? And above all that, why was there a fast-developing bulge in his cargo pants? He tried to will himself into thinking disgusting thoughts... Like maybe Drakken in a thong... Senor Senior Jr. in a thong? Good gravy! Despite his efforts, the visions would go back to the prospect of an undressed Kim...
"Oh man..." Ron groused as he stared at his newly formed trouser tent. Why did bad things like this happen to people like him?
Oh yes... Because he was fifteen years of age, and the obsessions of the opposite sex had a crushing grip on him... He guessed it was only natural to begin thinking of...
His very well-thought out explanation was broken when a door opened. Out of it barrelled Jim & Tim, the annoying younger brother of Kim. Well... They were twins... But they may as well have been the same person. Heck, Ron had trouble distinguishing one from the other in any case.
"Ron, what are you doing in the hall?" One asked, who was had on a green t-shirt.
"And... what's that in your pants?" The other asked, who wore a red tee.
The clinical diagnosis of Ron's condition was classified as "Severe Critical Temporary Shutdown Syndrome," or SCTSS. While it was more prevalent in females, it happened to a lot of males. Due to absolute, utter, and complete embarrassment, Ron could not manage to speak, move, or even lose bodily functions. Though, the third would probably be forthcoming before the others.
"Wuuuh, Guuh... I... Wuuh... Ehh,"
Instead of finding the unintelligible gibberish confusing or annoying, the twin boys laughed it off.
"You're funny, Ron," Jim chuckled.
"Keep going!" Tim urged.
If there was anyway that Ron Stoppable could turn this ridiculously awkward situation into some modicum of a positive, then why the heck not?
"Uh... Guh... Wha," Ron faked.
The boys continued to laugh at the blond's abject silliness. That is, of course, until another door creaked open.
"Tweebs, what did I tell you about... Ron?"
busted (bust·ed) n - Slang Term.
An arrest or raid
Yep... That was the word he was looking for. He didn't dare turn around. He was already caught with his pants down. No... caught with his pants hanging... No... Caught with something stiffin his pants. Yeah, that's about right. Was he about to let his best friend see him in this state? His current state of... unknown hardness?
No buddy... I don't think so.
"Eh... heheh," He chuckled sheepishly, his back still turned away from her.
"Uh, Ron... Is there something wrong?"
The boys had went bad to their room in a hurry. Ron, on the other hand, was still just about frozen in his spot. He turned around slowly, hoping, and-a wishing that he wouldn't see anything that he shouldn't.
'Three... Two... One.'
He whirled around to see Kim... Fully clothed. The sidekick let out a lengthy exhale. The apocalypse wasn't occurring... At least not now.
"Eh... Nothing, KP. I was just waiting for you to uh... Not be naked."
Critical Error 110B: Slip of the tounge.
Expect total destruction and catastrophe.
Ok... Hold that thought on the apocalypse... Maybe it was coming today.
The redhead stared at him in wide-eyed confusion... Then shrugged it off. She had heard weirder things come out from his mouth before, and what he said a moment ago probably wasn't going to be the last.
"Uh... Yeeeah. Thanks for the privacy," She said in an ambigious tone. "Anyways, let's go..."
Ron was surprised... Total exoneration? How about that? He trailed closely behind her as they left the house. Perhaps things wasn't as awkward as he thought it was. As teen heroine and sidekick waited for their ride to arrive, however
"By the way, Ron. What was that in your pants? I thought you kept Rufus in your pocket."
Son of a...
End of Chapter One