[Michael finds a new place to live, and tries to break up with Gob, only to fail. Then we have a flashback to college, when Michael dated Tracey. The more explicit version of this chapter is at AO3.

Part of this chapter has been moved to chapter 13, because I added a bunch of new stuff, making this chapter too long. It turns out I was wrong about Gob's yacht, and I have had to edit several chapters to fix the references. Also I changed my mind about George Michael's birth date again. He's conceived in March and born in December 1989. Michael and Tracey married in either April or May that year.

Reminders: George Michael left his bike by the banana stand when he met Maeby for lunch in Chapter 7. In Chapter 6, Gob claimed that he dated Egg as a sort of favor to Michael, so that she wouldn't date George Michael anymore. In chapter 8, there was a flashback of Gob trying to seduce Michael when he was vice president in 2004.]


Michael eventually came out of Buster's room to eat dinner, and he made feeble excuses about his fight with Gob. "Just him and Egg and George Michael..." He sighed, "I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't live here. I could go find someplace else tomorrow." Michael did have some savings left, as well as the royalty checks from the Mr. Bananagrabber TV show, to pay rent for a while. He could find an apartment somewhere and not tell Gob his new address.

Buster and Oscar merely shrugged and glanced at each other, thinking that Michael was making empty threats to run away again. He was the boy who cried Phoenix, after all.

That night, everyone went to bed, and Michael got the couch. He couldn't sleep, though, and kept thinking of Gob, who had slept on the very same couch recently. Michael remembered Gob's embrace, in bed at the model home, and his throat went dry.

So he got up and poured himself a stiff drink. But that reminded Michael of the intervention/party a couple of years ago, when they had laughed and got drunk together. Gob had even climbed onto the dining table and put Franklin's wig on his head.

Michael wondered if Gob was complaining to Franklin right now on his yacht. Or maybe he had already picked up some new girl to fuck to get back at Michael, or maybe he had gone back to the old one? That made Michael frown, but then again, why should he care? If Gob got arrested for statutory rape and imprisoned, that would certainly keep Gob away from him, right? Unless, of course, Michael got imprisoned too, due to his trial for embezzlement, bribery, and conspiracy. Stuck behind bars with Gob again...

Putting down the drink, Michael shook his head and decided that he needed some fresh air. He went out to the balcony, but then he recalled their fight that day. He was actually getting a little hot just thinking about it.

Rushing back inside, Michael put on his shoes and a robe over his pajamas. Taking his keys, he left the penthouse altogether and went downstairs to the staircar. Then he drove around town and felt miserably trapped, since he couldn't go join George Michael in L.A. At least the local authorities didn't force him to wear a tracking device yet, but the police surely would come after him if they discovered that he jumped bail.

Michael finally parked at Balboa Island, and he walked to the banana stand to brood. Then he found George Michael's bike locked up next to it, making him miss his son even more. Unlocking the bike, Michael rode out to the beach and wished for the good old days with his little son and his late wife. They should have spent more days here having fun, but Michael had spent too much time working, believing that this would earn him a full partnership in the Bluth Company. What a waste.

Michael realized gradually that he was biking out to the docks. But maybe he was just going to get a DNA sample from Gob for Gene Parmesan. Just one of those sandals he wore, or some hair from his brush... Just something to prove that they weren't brothers.

Soon Michael arrived at the yacht and listened. Silence, so apparently Gob was asleep, or not there. He set down the bike and climbed aboard, but he accidentally knocked over the Segway, which Gob had loosely leaned against the circular stairs that led to the upper deck. "Shit!" He had to dodge the Segway and grasp onto the stair railing to avoid falling off the boat. The yacht become too unstable for him to climb back onto the pier too.

Awakened by the noise and the rocking yacht, Gob irritably got up from bed and turned on the lights as he went upstairs. But when he opened the cabin door, he looked pleased and stepped forward in surprise. "Mikey?"

Still holding onto the railing, Michael began stammering an excuse for his presence, that he was looking for a tie or something that he left on the yacht when he was arrested. But seeing Gob there, standing in his robe, Michael couldn't think. He let go of the railing and kissed him passionately.

Gob enjoyed it, standing close to him in the shadow of the upper deck. But after a moment, he pulled back and said with a smirk, "People could see us." Then he drew Michael inside the cabin and shut the door behind them.

He turned off the cabin lights, and they plopped down onto the nearest couch together, making out feverishly in the dim room. Gob had come upstairs already barefoot, and he urged Michael to take off his shoes before he stepped on him. It was so silly to come here half dressed in the middle of the night, but Gob certainly didn't mind being woken for this.

So Michael tossed off his shoes, then got on Gob's lap for more physical contact. His brother tasted so good, and Michael kissed him until he was breathless.

"Mmm." Gob caressed his hair and wondered about his change of heart, though. "Mikey, I thought you couldn't come to my yacht?"

Michael shrugged and smelled his neck, glad that it seemed like Gob hadn't been with anybody else yet. He didn't answer the question, just wanting to forget about the police or how wrong this was. They were alone for now, and he wanted to be reckless and impulsive.

Gob was surprised by his brother being at a loss for words, even if he was reluctant to admit that he was wrong. Reclining against the cushions, he untied Michael's bathrobe and asked, "You missed me, huh?"

"Yeah." Michael nodded and grabbed his face for another kiss.

Gob pushed the robe off onto the floor and squeezed his brother's ass. "And it's not a mistake, Mikey?" He looked at him in the moonlight coming through the windows.

Michael regretted his earlier words and realized that Gob wanted a response. He shook his head and admitted with a sigh, "No, it's not. I just... I want you." He couldn't explain it, but he was so crazy about Gob, and he couldn't stop thinking about having doubly good sex again.

Gob felt reassured by that and nibbled his brother's ear, while unbuttoning his pajama shirt.

Michael ached for more intimacy, begging. "Touch me."

So Gob groped him through his pajamas and listened to the way he moaned.

At last Michael started to undress Gob too. While untying the sash of his robe, he found that his brother was already naked underneath and half hard already. "Oh Gob." He hurried to push off the robe and fondle him in return.

Gob grinned at him being naughty and eager. He resumed undoing Michael's buttons and teased him about what he had learned when they had sex at the model home. "You remember how to make my banana stand?"

Sliding off the couch, Michael knelt on the floor to do as Gob suggested.

"Yeah, Mikey." Gob was pleased that Michael was less shy about blowing him this time, though he did still need more practice.

He couldn't suppress his gag reflex and broke away. "Uh-sorry."

"It's okay," Gob said and pulled him up to his lap again. With a kiss, he asked, "You want to go to bed now?"

Michael remembered the crowded cabin he previously explored downstairs on the yacht, and he hesitated. "Well, is there enough room there, Gob? Did you clean up?"

Gob grinned and said, "Always room for you, Mikey." He stood up with his brother and turned, taking his hand and not bothering to pick up their robes from the floor. He wasn't ashamed of being naked, and soon his brother would be too.

As Gob led him through the dark yacht, Michael felt along the walls with his free hand. He expected them to go down the stairs he already went, but instead Gob pulled him toward a dim light further on. He warned, "Watch your step," and took him down a different set of stairs.

Michael was surprised by the large cabin below, with room enough for a queen size bed, wall cabinets, and another bathroom, including a shower stall. "Wow."

Still naked, Gob put an arm around him and asked, "What, you thought I slept upstairs on the couch?" He did often sleep on the couch at the model home, whenever he didn't have a girlfriend or yacht.

Michael shook his head, explaining, "No I just went to a different room before, much smaller, with all your magic stuff, and..." He frowned and recalled discovering Egg's suitcase onboard before he got arrested. Michael felt disturbed again by Gob dating that Christian girl, especially if she was underage. "Gob, you didn't-? Not here, with Egg?"

"No, no!" Gob realized that Michael must have found the suitcase before he got rid of it. He worried that his brother would get angry and leave, so Gob hugged him close and blocked the stairwell. "I didn't fuck her. Don't be jealous."

Michael pulled back to try to make him understand that it was not jealousy, but protectiveness for his son. "Gob, she was George Michael's ex!"

"I know, I know! But we didn't do it, and I dumped her for you." More or less.

Michael looked into his eyes and considered whether or not to believe him. His brother often lied, after all. Then again, sometimes Gob didn't lie even when he should have, like when he confessed that he consummated his marriage, forcing him to get a divorce instead of an annulment.

Gob said, "Mikey, she always brought along chaperones when we dated for months; she said it was until she turned 18, but I didn't know she was lying about that."

Michael frowned and remembered meeting the strange, creepy, and confusing Veals. They were a fucked up family, though in a different way than Bluths.

Gob felt Michael relax in his arms, which he took as an encouraging sign, so he continued, "And I told you, they didn't want a Holy Trinity."

Michael sighed at that and still felt concerned. "But she moved in with you here."

Gob explained, "She, um, she only just moved in on the day of the Queen Mary party, Mikey, and I tossed her suitcase downstairs while I was telling her all about my USO tour in Iraq. Yeah, we were hanging out upstairs when George Michael came over." Well, actually they did some fooling around on the couch as a reward for his heroic prison escape in Iraq, but that was only second base, so he didn't mention it.

Besides, Gob didn't want Michael to get jealous about fooling around on the same couch upstairs. Hopefully Franklin wouldn't say anything about that either, and Gob sneaked a look toward the partly open cabinet where he had tucked in Franklin for the night. Franklin just lay there wrapped in a comfy blanket in the drawer.

Michael obliviously didn't notice the puppet in the room, or Gob's warning glance in that direction. Instead he remembered something. "I guess you guys couldn't have gone downstairs if Dad was hiding in the Aztec Tomb the entire time." Even if Gob took her to a different cabin, Michael figured that Dad would have complained about sex and possibly also tried to impose his old rule about downstairs being off-limits to his sons. Dad had already told Michael that he overheard them discussing the Iraq trip, and he didn't mention sex.

"Right," Gob said, glad that Michael was giving him the benefit of the doubt. He kissed him to try to get him back in the mood for sex.

Michael didn't pull away from him, but he remained distracted, recalling what happened on the yacht. He got mad at Dad for not coming upstairs and revealing himself when Egg moved in and Gob tossed the suitcase downstairs. He thought Dad should have yelled at Gob, told him to take her home to her parents, then stolen the yacht to go to Cabo. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble, and George Michael would never have fought with his uncle and stolen the yacht himself. If only...

Meanwhile, Gob felt disappointed by Michael's brooding silence. He also felt weirded out to realize that Dad had been downstairs the whole time he was with Egg. He could probably hear them! Gob had to go sit down on the bed, then he wondered why Franklin didn't say anything that day. Did Dad turn Franklin against him? Just like he and Mom always manipulated Michael and turned him against Gob. Maybe that was why Franklin felt too guilty to speak now? With a frown, Gob asked, "I wonder when Dad sneaked onboard?"

Michael was puzzled too. "Dad said he heard from Mom about your yacht, and he planned to steal it to escape to Cabo. But he must have gone to Sitwell first to get the money."

"He did?"

Michael explained about Dad selling the stocks while pretending to be Oscar.

"Oh." Gob felt upset that Dad planned to steal his yacht and abandon the family without saying goodbye, just like his other escapes to Mexico and Reno. Plus Dad chose to exclude Gob again by only confessing to Michael about his scheme.

Feeling bad, Michael stepped closer to the bed and caressed Gob, who looked so much like a kicked puppy. This face was very familiar on him, of course, and Michael didn't like his brother looking so heartbroken and dejected. "I'm sorry."

Gob looked up then and took Michael's hand, trying to coax him to the bed. Sex would make them feel better, surely?

Michael stood there hesitating, but he liked holding hands again. It reminded him of having sex before, and what they already did upstairs. The lights were on in this cabin, too, and he could see how naked Gob was, making no attempt to cover up with the blanket or pillows.

Gob followed where his brother's eyes went, and felt more hopeful. "Mikey." He pulled him close and kissed his neck to remind him. "It's not a mistake."

Michael closed his eyes and felt tempted, leaning into Gob as his morals weakened. He was only human after all, and worse, a Bluth. Their whole family had flouted laws and morals for decades. How was this sin any different than any other compromise of his principles?

Gob felt Michael giving in again, like he had twice at the model home. Maybe the third time would be the charm, and Michael would move in with him. After all, he came over to the yacht all on his own tonight because he was horny.

So Michael sat down and kissed Gob again. It felt so good to touch each other, and the large bed was comfortably inviting.

Relieved, Gob hurried to undress Michael, starting with his pajama pants and underwear. As they lay down, Gob stripped off Michael's shirt, then rolled onto their sides so they could tangle their naked bodies.

Excited, Michael wrestled with him like at the model home, then Gob grasped both their erections and rubbed them exquisitely together. "Oh Gob." He was so intoxicating, and Michael scratched fingernails down his back.

Gob kept kissing him and pumping them until they were panting and crying out. They made a wonderful mess, then slid under the covers where it wasn't wet.

The lights were still on, and Michael glanced at Gob as he caught his breath. None of the forbidden pleasure had diminished with the third time they had sex. Michael didn't know if they were flesh and blood brothers or not, but they were flesh and blood lovers. He was so clearly and repeatedly gay for him.

Gob met his eyes too and asked, "You like me, huh, Mikey?"

He nodded and felt amazed by his brother, who was so irresistible and charming. "Yeah I do like you. I want..."

Pulling him closer, Gob kissed him and hoped the third time would stick. He sat up and thought about going to turn off the lights and lock the door. "You going to stay now, Mikey? Not run away again?"

Finally feeling worried again, Michael remembered their family. "Buster and Uncle Oscar will wonder-"

Gob hugged him and insisted, "It's too late to go now. You should stay here with me."

"Okay." So Michael nodded and gave in, glancing at the clock while Gob got up to switch off the lights. Yeah, it would be more suspicious for him to try to sneak back to the penthouse in the middle of the night. Maybe in the morning he'd just say that he'd gone to retrieve his son's bike, and then decided to make up with Gob about their earlier fight. Michael hoped that story wouldn't sound suspicious at all, but he really couldn't think now.

Meanwhile, Gob turned off the lights, leaving only the moonlight from the portholes in the cabin. He locked the door and got a towel from the nearby bathroom, bringing it to bed and cleaning them up a little. After tossing the towel away, he returned to bed and got under the covers again. "Mikey."

"Gob." Michael kissed him, then lay his head against his shoulder, feeling cozy together in the darkness. They always had sex with the lights on so far, except for upstairs. He tried not to think about Egg or George Michael anymore. All the people who would be outraged and shocked about them. Michael had hired Gene Parmesan to find his real birth certificate, after all, so maybe one day he'd have proof that they weren't blood related. Maybe this could be a real thing they could have.

In the silence, Gob nuzzled his brother's face, brushing his eyelashes against his skin. Michael was in his bed at last, and had promised to stay. It was great to know that Michael would come to him willingly, with no need for ether or other drugs now. He just got scared before, apparently, but he did want Gob after all. It made Gob feel warm inside, and he almost wanted to go brag to Franklin about it, but he didn't want to leave Michael's embrace yet. Besides, Franklin saw and overheard everything from his cabinet nearby.

Michael shifted and asked curiously, "Hey, so when did Dad sneak onboard the yacht?"

Gob thought it over and frowned. "I don't know. I didn't see him hiding anywhere after you bought The C-Word for me, Mikey. It must have been after I moved in with Franklin, and brought the Aztec Tomb here." He rented a truck to move all his magic stuffs from storage to the docks. "Maybe it was when I returned the rental truck. Or maybe it was while I went to get Egg from her house with her suitcase the day of the party. He must have sneaked into the other cabin then. Yeah, she only agreed to move in because I told her there were separate bedrooms, so she could tell her parents that we weren't living in sin."

"So, wait a minute, you weren't going to sleep with her?" Michael sat up and disregarded the fact that Gob had stuffed the other bedroom too full of magic props to be usable.

Gob didn't want to make Michael jealous, so he lied, "No, uh, I told you I was only dating her to keep her away from George Michael." He sat up to glance at Franklin and thought of another excuse. "Yeah, I didn't really like her anyway, Michael, or her creepy family. She was just like Eve Holt, and I didn't want to get her pregnant too." In fact, Gob had bought condoms and planned to convince Egg to use them after the Queen Mary party. He had learned his lesson about evangelical girls not having either birth control or abortions, and he didn't want to risk having another Steve Holt on his hands.

Michael believed Gob's lie, though, and hugged him. "You should have told me before. I would have helped you get rid of her." He regretted encouraging Gob to date his anonymous "religion girlfriend."

Gob was glad that Michael's own self-interest made him easy to convince. Gob had no problem taking advantage to get ahead, since it was over with Egg anyway. "Well, I couldn't tell you, or you'd tell George Michael about her."

"I could have told you that she's not 18."

"I guess." Gob shrugged and kissed him fondly. "You should have been with me sooner, Mikey. I wanted you all along, you know, but you were scared and kept dating those girls. Wouldn't even kiss me, when I made you that CD and everything."

Michael remembered the Franklin CD, and how Gob had cried about it and sung love songs to him. He felt sad now and regretted all his past rejections of his brother, including the time he kicked him out of his bed when Gob became President at the Bluth Company. "I'm sorry, Gob. I just... this is so confusing, and I've never been with a guy before."

Gob said reassuringly, "Don't be scared, Mikey. It's just brotherly love, and it's good."

Michael considered telling him that this wasn't what that phrase meant, but what was the point? Gob didn't understand about the Holy Trinity or anything else religious.

Gob lay Michael down and nuzzled him again. "I wanted you all the time, and I tried to convince you how good it would be."

"I know." Gob regularly left obscene notes for Michael on his computer at work, which Michael would delete without comment. Back then, he kept trying to change his password so that Gob couldn't use the computer, but Gob always broke in easily whenever he dropped by the office. He knew Michael too well.

Gob kissed him and confessed what was true, "I would have dumped her for you any time you wanted. I would have dumped anyone for you." He'd waited for Michael for years.

Michael nodded and remembered the days leading up to the Queen Mary party. "I wish... If you came to my bed these past few days..." He'd woken up with his son, then Lindsay, then Tobias, after all. It seemed inevitable that Gob would be there too, and what would Michael do then? Nothing, like all the times before? Or everything?

"What?" Gob asked in surprise. "You would have let me fuck you?" Even with all the family in the model home?

Michael hesitated and bit his lip. Maybe he shouldn't have slept at the office the last few nights, before the Queen Mary party. Maybe he should have let Gob come to him, or gone to Gob's yacht himself? If only he had found out about Gob's girlfriend before the party. He would have made them break up sooner, and George Michael wouldn't have run away! If only he knew about Lindsay being adopted and the birth certificates years ago! If only everything had been different. "We should have been together before."

Gob nodded and agreed with a smile. "Yeah, Mikey. We should have gone camping at the cabin in Lake Tahoe." That was the perfect opportunity, away from their family.

"I guess so." Michael kissed him and clung to him. He entwined their fingers and decided that everything would have been better if he had given in to Gob before today.

Gob felt so happy and kissed him back intensely.

Michael tried not to listen to the part of his brain that still said it was sick and wrong to be with his brother. He wasn't going to think about George Michael now or feel guilty. This was a crazy family, and it wasn't his fault if he was going crazy too. He wasn't responsible.

Soon Gob licked sensuously down Michael's s neck and slid his hands along his thighs.

"Oh, Gob..." He was getting hard again. They both were.

Gob growled, "I wanna fuck you, Mikey."

Michael thought about Gob fucking him, like he wrote or drew so often in his obscene notes on the computer. Now that they had been intimate in other ways, fucking didn't sound that scary anymore, and Michael felt curious enough to try it once at least. Hmm, maybe that would mean that he could even get a chance to be on top with Gob in return, and that sounded hot. Gob was clearly also very experienced in gay sex, and Michael was willing to trust him in this. He already trusted Gob enough to be naked with him, like he had not been with any other lovers since Tracey.

"Okay," he said softly, "if you're careful." He could always stop Gob if he didn't like it, and they could do something else.

"Yeah!" Gob kissed him in delight. This would be the fourth time they had sex, and no more arguments finally! "I'll make you feel so good, Mikey. I promise." Michael was special to him, and this was brotherly love. His Christian girlfriend was always talking about how pure and good brotherly love was, so he didn't feel ashamed at all. Gob didn't care if Egg or her chaperoning friends meant something else by that term, like they didn't mean "threesome" when they talked about the Holy Trinity. If Mikey wanted him and loved him, then nothing else mattered.

Michael chose to believe his promise and hoped that Gob meant it like he meant it when they planned to teach Dad the lesson against Boyfights. Maybe Gob was capable of tenderness after all, of making love instead of just fucking. Given his brother's sexual history, though, Michael did ask if Gob had condoms.

"Yeah, I got stuffs." He didn't explain why he bought the condoms, and Michael didn't ask.

Slipping out of bed again, Gob retrieved condoms and lube out of a nearby cabinet, and he winked at Franklin while he was there. Then he quickly returned to bed with the stuffs and kissed his brother excitedly.

Michael lay back on the bed and tried not to be nervous. Maybe doing it the dark would make it feel less weird and gay? It wasn't too dark to see, though, and their eyes had adjusted to the dim moonlight by now.

As Gob thoroughly prepared him, it felt weird to Michael at first, but also forbidden and arousing. He made soft breathless sounds in the darkness, then Gob stroked himself and put on a condom like Michael wanted.

He knew that his brother was a virgin in this area still, so Gob pushed in gently and tried to move him into a comfortable position. It did still hurt, though, so Gob paused and gave him a reacharound. "You like sirsumventing?" he asked, reminding Michael of one time at the office when Michael tried to teach him the word "circumvent."

The memory amused Michael enough to laugh a little and relax, making it easier for Gob to sink deeper into him. "Mmm, Gob." It felt good.

Gob nuzzled the back of his neck and sighed, "Mikey. You're mine." At long last. He loved how they fit together. "It's you and me."

"You and me." As he shifted on the bed, Michael looked up and noticed now that Gob kept a framed photo of him here on the bedside table. It was the same photo that Gob had used on the card included with his Franklin Comes Alive CD. Was that why his brother dreamed of him? Because he went to sleep always looking at his face? It was apparently Gob's idea of romance and love, and he found it oddly touching.

Gob had to take a moment to control himself, to make this last. "It's okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." Michael was on his knees and supporting himself on his arms. He turned and kissed Gob eagerly.

Then Gob started to move, slowly at first. Michael closed his eyes and moaned softly, feeling both pleasure and a dull ache. When Michael got used to it, Gob picked up his pace. Michael moved with him and made more noise, groaning with each thrust. Gob definitely knew what he was doing.

Soon they were rocking together and making the bed creak loudly. It was hot and sweaty and so so wrong. It was over too soon.

Finally Gob pulled out, exhausted and happy. He discarded the condom while Michael moved out of the new wet spot. Gob turned Michael toward him for another kiss and asked if he was okay. Michael nodded and clung to him, regretting that he had been afraid for so long. He should have given in before, and thus avoided dating disasters with Maggie Lizer or Sally Sitwell or Rita Leeds. Maybe Gob never would have dated Egg then. "It was so good."

"I told you." Gob grinned and kissed him again. He felt proud and pleased that he'd really fucked Michael this time. Franklin was even here to be a witness, and Gob knew Franklin wouldn't squeal, because he already took out the tape recorder that was inside him at the mock trial.

"Gob."

"Mikey."

The brothers nuzzled each other and lay close, lost in the afterglow. Moonlight streamed through the portholes of the cabin, and they could hear water lapping at the yacht along with other dock sounds. Everything was peaceful and perfect now. Gob was half tempted to whisper, "I love you," but he didn't want to risk Michael not saying it back to him.

When Gob had sex with Kitty in the storage room a couple of years ago, Kitty had made fun of him for being girly when he cried about Michael afterward. She wasn't a good listener like Nellie the whore, who never judged him or said anything about it being wrong. She'd apparently heard everything in her profession, and could not be shocked. Her listening to him was the only thing that helped Gob cope over the years.

In bed they were still resting, and Gob listened to Michael's heartbeat for a while. Fearing that he was getting girly, Gob finally sat up and offered Michael a drink from the galley kitchen upstairs.

Michael accepted and watched him turn on the lights and leave the cabin. While alone, he listened to Gob puttering around upstairs, and he glanced at the bedside photo again, picking it up and remembering when he took the picture years ago.

Gob put on his robe before grabbing a bottle and a glass from the galley.

When Gob came back to the bedroom, Michael asked pensively, "Gob, how long have you... felt like this? Wanted to have sex? It wasn't just these past few years, was it?"

Gob shrugged and put down the glass and bottle as he joined him on the bed. He was wary of confessing everything, of having Michael judge him and decide this brotherly love was wrong again. He had seemed to like doing stuff at the model home, only to change his mind and try to back out later. Gob just poured the drink and gave it to Michael, while taking the photo from him and putting it back on the table. He hoped the drink would make Michael relax and let go of the question.

Michael drank, but was still thinking. Then he guessed, "You wanted to fuck me on that Spring Break, didn't you? In my freshman year at college?"

Gob looked surprised and pleased. "You remember that, Mikey?" Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to confess. Maybe Michael could understand. Gob put an arm around him and shared the drink out of the same glass.


Years ago, Lindsay had to repeat the 9th grade in high school, so she fell behind her supposed twin Michael. But in Michael's senior year, George Sr. bribed a school official to let Lindsay skip a grade and catch up to Michael so they would be in the same graduating class. George Sr. couldn't say no to his daughter, even after all the fights they had about her pregnancies and abortions. He knew those problems came from Lucille's constant criticisms of her weight. Plus the bribe would make things up to Lindsay for losing the class election to Sally Sitwell, her hated rival. George Sr. was not able to fix this election, what with Stan Sitwell keeping a close eye on the ballot box. The end result was that Lindsay at least beat out Sally for Best Hair in the yearbook photos, and Lindsay graduated with Michael that year. But George Sr. shouldn't have bothered to pay for her college tuition, because it was a waste.

Soon after the twins went away to college, Lindsay dropped out and took up with various left-wing radicals, still feeling a need to rebel. Meanwhile, Michael excelled at college, as expected, and he especially enjoyed his freedom and independence from his family. The lack of pressure and scrutiny from them gave him the confidence to start dating finally.

Then in 1988, during the Spring Break of Michael's freshman year, Gob came to pick him up, and he showed off his new Camaro.

Michael asked, somewhat bitterly, "Dad bought you another car?" Gob got a car on every birthday since he got his driver's license, and it was always nicer than that yellow 1985 Yugo that Dad tried to make Michael drive in high school. It was supposed to advertise the banana stand, but Michael had rejected it in embarrassment.

As always, Gob lied about his company cars, "No, I won this one on Card Sharks. I'd show you the episode, but Buster taped over it with some Nova special."

"I don't care." Michael just dumped his bags into the car's trunk. He didn't need to see Gob acting smug on a TV game show, and possibly mentioning Michael by name as he gloated over winning the car.

So they got in and drove home to Newport Beach. After a while, Gob broke the tense silence by mockingly asking if Michael was still a virgin.

"No, I'm not! Didn't you hear? I told Lindsay already." He'd called her immediately, months ago, needing someone to be impressed by his milestone, however late.

Lindsay, unfortunately, had misunderstood Michael's confession as something private for her, due to his crush on her; possibly it was an attempt to make her jealous or something. She didn't say this directly to Michael, though. She just acted weird on the phone, awkwardly saying "Congratulations," and hanging up.

Gob answered, "Well, she didn't tell anybody else in the family. I haven't even heard from her anyway since she went off with that latest tree hugger." Privately, Gob was disappointed by Michael's news, but he was determined not to let it show. He said dismissively, "So you've fucked one girl. Big deal."

"Three," Michael corrected him proudly. "I've slept with three girls."

Gob was impressed, but would not admit it. He laughed and made fun of Michael instead. "Only three?"

Michael blinked in confusion. "What? That's a lot. You didn't sleep with that many girls your first year." If he counted correctly, it was only about six girls all through high school. Not that he kept track of how many girls Gob had seduced.

"Yeah, but that was high school, Michael. This is college. There's dorms full of chicks, away from their parents, and getting drunk at keggers. You can get three girls at every frat party."

Michael said, "You've never even been to college!"

"Yeah, but I've fucked tons of coeds on Spring Break. Besides, not even counting the guys in high school, Lindsay's already bagged more guys in college than you."

Michael felt annoyed at Gob for bursting his bubble. "Well yeah, because she wasn't a virgin anymore." He shrugged and tried to regain his confidence. "Anyway, Lindsay dropped out of college, so she has time to fuck every guy. Unlike her, I take my education seriously."

"Yeah, you take it too seriously, and that's why you've only slept with three women! I mean, it's Spring Break right now, but Dad told me that you're gonna spend it working at the Bluth Company."

"Right. What's wrong with that?"

"Why would you wanna spend Spring Break working for Dad? You spent all your summers at the banana stand, and now you wanna waste your Spring Break too?"

"This is important, Gob. I'm not working at the banana stand anymore; I'm working at the Bluth Company. I need to learn about the business, for when I take over someday."

Gob pouted at being passed over, and he tried to get Michael to blow it off. "No, you need to learn how to relax, guy. Let's go to the beach and have some fun instead."

"Fun?" He couldn't imagine having fun with Gob.

"Yeah, it's the opposite of what you usually do." Gob kept offering to take Michael out, and help him hook up with some wild girls on Spring Break. "You can try to catch up to me."

"It's not a competition, Gob, and we're not kids anymore."

"Of course it's not a competition, because if it were, you'd lose, guy. Just like you lost the election for class president to me." He laughed.

Michael pouted, but he was not going to give Gob the satisfaction of a response.

Gob continued, "But anyway, no, this is about me trying to help you, Michael. Just like when I used to help Buster when we were little."

"You mean when you bullied Buster, and called him a chicken?"

"Yeah. It got him to go on the slide and the monkey bars, right? So I can teach you not to be afraid of girls."

"I'm not afraid of girls."

"Yes, you are! You've only fucked three girls." As they arrived at a bus station in town, Gob even pulled over the car, so that he could get out and do his chicken dance.

"Gob, stop it!" Then Michael got the idea to move to the driver's seat and go, leaving Gob behind.

But Gob quickly reached into the window and fought with him for the keys. Then he said, "Come on, Michael. I can help you. I can show you how to pick up girls."

"I already know all about your 'car trouble' routine from high school."

"Yeah, but I got better moves now. I got some great illusions to attract the honeys. Here, I'll show you." He pointed to a hot babe getting off the bus, and Michael recognized her as Tracey, his dream girl from school.

Tracey was also home for Spring Break, and was lugging her bags with her.

Gob started to go hit on her, but Michael stopped him and got out of the car. "No!"

Michael went over himself, and said, "Hi, Tracey."

She didn't recognize him.

"I'm Michael Bluth. We went to Balboa High together."

"Bluth? You're Gob's baby brother?"

Michael blushed. "No, that was Buster. He wore glasses. I didn't."

Then she laughed, finally remembering him. "Oh, you! You were in that play, the Trial of Captain Hook."

"Yeah." He looked somewhat embarrassed, but shrugged it off shyly. "It was an English credit."

She said, kindly, "Well, you looked good in green." And he had definitely grown up nicely.

"Thanks. Can I help you with those?" He helped her with her bags, and she explained that she was waiting for her mom to pick her up from the station. They went over to a bench to sit down, and he said he would keep her company until her mom arrived.

Gob was stunned, watching them intently as they chatted about high school and college life. He leaned on the Camaro and realized that Michael had indeed grown up, finding a new confidence that he had not had when they were kids.

When Tracey's mother pulled up in her car, Michael finally worked up the nerve to ask out Tracey. She said yes and gave him her number, before putting her bags in the car. She waved goodbye as her mom drove away.

Then Michael returned to the Camaro, feeling elated and even joking, "I'm surprised you didn't drive off without me."

Gob said irritably, "You'll never fuck her. She's way out of your league."

Michael was offended. "Oh, like you would know! You just trick girls into sleeping with you."

Gob said, "You don't even have a car. She-she just saw you get out of my Camaro and assumed that it was yours."

"No, she didn't." Still, his confidence was shaken. Michael said, "Well, since you've got this Camaro, you don't need any of your old cars now. Let me use one of those."

"Why? You can go embarrass yourself with your bike."

"Gob, come on! You're such a jerk. I knew you didn't mean it when you said you wanted to help me."

Hurt, Gob reluctantly said, "Fine. You can have my old car from last year."

"Yeah?"

Gob nodded and swallowed. "'Cause you're my brother."

"Thanks!" Michael smiled and impulsively hugged him.

Gob squeezed him tight and lingered for a while. It had been too long since he'd felt Michael this close to him.

After a moment, Michael pulled back and looked slightly puzzled by his brother's behavior. He repeated his thanks, then got back into the car. Gob got in and started the engine again. As they drove on, he started giving Michael advice for his date with Tracey. Michael intended to ignore all of it as sleazy and dishonest, but he humored Gob by pretending to listen. Gob wanted so much to teach Michael things, to have him be impressed.

They drove home to see the rest of their family and unload Michael's bags. (It was their childhood home, before Mom and Dad moved with Buster to the penthouse. Only Lindsay was missing because she was living with her boyfriend and didn't care about coming home except for money.)

Mom and Dad weren't sure that they liked Michael's new confidence when they talked to him; he talked back and was more sarcastic now. Lucille said that she didn't like whatever new friends he was making at college. Gob blurted out that Michael wasn't a virgin anymore, and Michael became uncomfortable as they all talked about how he was afraid of girls.

Dad was sure of this because Michael had run away from Sally Sitwell once, and he tried to undermine Michael's confidence too. Bringing up the Bluth Company, George Sr. reminded Michael that he would start at the bottom, to avoid accusations of nepotism. He would have to earn approval like anybody else. Michael sighed and went to hang out in his room. He called Tracey to confirm their plans for a date, and he got the car keys from Gob.

When Michael went on his date that night, Gob secretly followed him in the Camaro.

He watched them flirting and enjoying themselves, even though Michael was doing everything wrong, not using any of Gob's recommended moves. So he wouldn't even feel grateful or impressed or ask Gob for more advice tonight.

Finally Gob frowned sadly and left. He realized that he missed Michael intensely. He hadn't seen his brother much since high school, when he left to become a magician. Gob wanted to spend time with him again, to have one of their tumbling, wrestling fights. Gob waited up for his brother and drank for much of the time.

Michael didn't actually sleep with Tracey that night, but he didn't care when Gob teased him about it once he got home. He was just so happy that she had kissed him goodnight and agreed to a second date. Michael asked if he could keep using the car, and Gob was tempted to say no, but he couldn't resist the look in Michael's eyes. He said, "okay," then enjoyed another hug from Michael.

"You're a good brother."

Gob said nothing and smelled his brother's hair.

Michael blinked, but he could smell the alcohol on his breath, so he figured that Gob was just drunk. "Thanks. Goodnight."

Michael and Tracey slept together the next night, partly because she was feeling a little wild on Spring Break, and partly because Michael was so hot.

Gob was increasingly aware that Michael was hot too. It was crazy of him to notice it, and to feel attracted, but Gob could not help it somehow. He ached for Michael's touch, no matter how wrong it was. Gob realized that the only factors holding Michael back from success with more lovers were his occasional shyness, his goofy haircut, and his obsessive focus on work. Gob was jealous of his brother, but not because of their sibling rivalry anymore; it was because he wanted Michael for himself.

When Michael returned from his second date, he told Gob with a grin that he had now slept with four women. Gob tried to undermine his milestone again, but Michael still glowed about it. Even if the number was supposedly low, Tracey was more than a number to him. She was his dream girl.

Michael continued dating her over the two-week break, even ignoring George Sr.'s complaints that he wasn't concentrating on the business properly. When their holiday came to an end, Tracey gave Michael her phone number at her college, and Michael asked to keep the car, so he could visit her at her college.

Gob agreed only because he thought the fling surely would not last beyond the break. They'd get tired of each other and drift apart, surely. So after a while, Gob drove up to visit Michael at college, but Michael was still dating Tracey.

Gob was surprised that Michael wasn't even cheating on her. "You've only slept with four women, guy!"

Michael said with a smile, "I know, Gob," and insisted that he was perfectly happy with that number.

Gob kept dropping by for visits, and he always acted shocked that Michael wasn't playing the field. To humor Gob, Michael spent some time with his brother, and even attended some of his magic shows, but he stubbornly refused any offers to pick up other girls. Gob tried to accept this limited contact with Michael, but he often tried to provoke fights as well, hoping they would wrestle and tumble once more.

That summer, Michael and Tracey spent almost all their free time together, and he brought her to watch Gob perform magic at a nightclub. However, Gob was irritable all through the show, and afterward, he was quite mean to Tracey. Michael couldn't understand why Gob would be like this, and they kept fighting for months afterward. Gob said Tracey was nothing special just because she had red hair and went to school with them. "What are you, Charlie Brown?"

"I'm not!" Michael replied that Tracey was wonderful and funny and smart. She had everything, so why did he need to date other people?

When his sophomore year started, Michael dreaded introducing Tracey to the rest of his family, but she insisted on it, after inviting Michael to Thanksgiving with her family. Michael decided to introduce her to his family on Christmas Eve, during the Living Classics pageant. He thought that bringing Tracey as his date in public would ensure that his family would be well behaved, but he had underestimated how awful his family could be. The only silver lining was that Mom surprisingly liked Tracey, and she told George not to interfere in their relationship.

George still complained about Tracey, though, and claimed she was a gold-digger. Michael told him he was wrong, but his father would not believe him. He constantly put Tracey down, implying that she was plain and fat. (Much like Michael would later do to George Michael's girlfriend Egg.)

Despite this lack of support from Gob and Dad, Michael still kept dating Tracey through his sophomore year of college. Then on their anniversary, Michael got careless about using condoms, and Tracey got pregnant during Spring Break 1989. After the initial panic, they decided to get married in a month.


When George Sr. found out about the engagement, he strongly urged Michael not to marry her just because he'd knocked her up, (because it seemed too much like how Lucille had tricked him into marriage). He said they could bribe her into having an abortion. Gob had agreed with Dad, implying that Michael only wanted to marry her because he had to. Michael got mad, assuming that Gob was just being sleazy, as well as sucking up to Dad for approval. But maybe it had nothing to do with Dad, and had everything to do with wanting Michael.

Thinking of his wedding day, Michael asked, "Gob, did you set Tracey's hair on fire on purpose? Were you jealous?"

Gob replied, "No, Mikey. I was trying to impress you with my illusion."

Michael took another drink, and recalled that Gob had let a fireball off at his wedding to Rita too, accidentally setting Tobias's hair plugs on fire. However, his illusion for Rita did not harm her at all. So he shrugged off the suspicion. "Okay. But you did-you did want me when you offered that hooker to me?"

"Nellie? Yeah."

Michael clarified, "No, I meant, when I asked you to witness my wedding with Rita."

"Yeah, Mikey." Gob smiled and kissed him. "I-I wanted to do more than watch." He leaned close and whispered all the dirty things he wanted to do.

It turned Michael on again, and he put down the glass on the bedside table. With a kiss, they embraced and made love again. It was their fifth time having sex, and their third time of the night. Gob was pleased.