-1 Summary- Harry Potter, 'The Boy Who Lived', is abused by his only living relatives. Beaten daily, Harry reaches out to his friends and tells them what is happening to them, but they do not believe his words; he tries Head Mistress McGonagall only to get the same response. He is driven to self mutilation (mostly cutting) and eventually tries to take his own life. Hermione and Ron see this as only an outcry for attention and chose to ignore it. But how will this effect 'The Golden Boy'? Will he finally prove to the world he is not all that he seems? Or will he fall at the hands of his enemies? Who will be the first to discover the truth of the happenings Harry has been trying to tell people about?
Harry sat in the corner of him bedroom at the Dursley's and rocked himself back and forth. He would be starting his last year at Hogwarts in about a month and a half, which was much to long in his opinion. The first few weeks back at the Dursley's had been relatively normal, his uncle was a little more ornery than usually, but Harry figured he would cool down once he got used to having the little 'nuisance' around again.
He was actually being fed this summer thanks to Dudley, who had been taking a Life Management and Parenting class, he finally understood that what his parents were doing to the poor boy was wrong. Dudley of course didn't pity Harry, oh no, the first time Harry had seen a look of pity on the chubby boys face he had lashed out and screamed at Dudley telling him to go away, that he didn't need his help.
He was glad his over weight cousin was being stubborn though, the first time Harry had been beat his lip had been busted, thank god Dudley had also been taking some kind of nursing class also, so he knew how to treat it, and the muggle treatment mixed with Harry's magic cause the wound to heal very quickly. Sadly, this only served to make his uncle angrier at him.
Harry and Dudley had agreed only to treat the wounds that could be covered that way the thin boy could pretend to be in excruciating pain when in reality it was only a dull throb. Harry had also managed to get the keys for his door and for his window that had be chained and barred shut; so he could now open the window and Hedwig could squeeze herself through the bars to go and hunt at night, or deliver to or from her master and friend.
One night after a rather brutal beating, Dudley had suggested that Harry write a letter to his wizard friends and have them retrieve him. He jumped at the idea, then winced as it had cause a little jolt of pain to shoot through him as the bandages were being wrapped around him.
"You know Harry," Dudley said quietly. "Had I ever know what mum and dad were doing was wrong I would have tried to stop them…Or I would have helped you more. Maybe your friends can be here by tomorrow, you could get out of here, and you'd never have to come back."
Harry glanced at him sadly. He wished he'd know his cousin was this nice when they were younger, they could have been the best of friends. "I hope so… I'll write to you of course… Just, make sure uncle Vernon doesn't find my letters."
"I'll hide them under the floorboards like you showed me to." He said with a small smile. The large blonde haired boy was sad his cousin was going to leave, but he understood that if he didn't go, horrible things could happen to him here, and those horrible things could make Harry resort to self mutilation or suicide attempts. Dudley wasn't exactly a stranger with depression. In fact he was diagnosed with depression during the last school year. His parents had noticed him eating less, and had become rather withdrawn from his friends and had sent him to the doctors.
There was a light tapping on the window; both boys turned there head to see that Hedwig had returned and had a letter tied to her leg. Dudley went to open the window, allowing the snowy owl to squeeze in and stuck her leg out at him to take it. He did so and petted her lightly before going back over to Harry and handing him the parchment.
Slowly he unfolded the letter with a sense of foreboding fear.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY SUCH THINGS! I UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR FAMILY IS NOT AS GOOD TO YOU AS THEY SHOULD BE, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T FAKE ABUSE JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO LEAVE! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE MONEY AND FAME, HARRY, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT! I THINK IT'S GETTING TO YOUR HEAD! SOON YOU'LL BE JUST LIKE MALFOY! NO HARRY, WE'RE NOT COMING TO GET YOU UNTIL THE WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS AS ALWAYS! DON'T BOTHER SENDING ME ANOTHER LETTER UNTIL YOU CAN STOP COMPLAINING!
P.S. THAT FAKE BLOOD WAS NOT FUNNY! HONESTLY HARRY!
Harry looked up at his cousin with teary eyes and handed him the letter. He saw Dudley's eyes flash as he rip the letter apart and grabbed a piece of Harry's parchment and a quill, dipped it in ink and began to write a rather angry letter to the girl that had just call the broken boy next to him a liar. He gave Hedwig an owl treat and attached the letter to her leg, watching her scoot through the bars again and fly off into the distance.
"She didn't believe me…" Harry whispered. "My own best friend didn't believe me…I must be a real joke if not even my friends will believe what I'm telling them."
"They be sorry for it Harry, they always are… They are calling you a liar, and will come back to bite them right in their arse's … Until they come for you though, know that I am here for you to talk to if you need to…"
"Thanks…" He said weakly. "I think I should sleep now… It's what now, eight-thirty, something like that?" Dudley nodded and walked quietly to the door. "G'night…"
"Goodnight Harry, sleep well…."
As the days past, the beatings continued and Dudley had snuck Harry his things from the attic and continued to bring him food and water. Harry finished his homework quicker than Dudley had thought he would considering the large amount; but then being locked in your room all day, only being let out once or twice to use the bathroom, would give you plenty of time to finish.
That night when Dudley came to see how he was and bring him dinner he found Harry pacing in his room and pulling at his hair. The chubby blonde sat the plate of food aside and went to make his thin cousin sit, pulling his hands out of his hair and examining his scalp.
"What's wrong Harry?" He asked cautiously.
"I have nothing left to do!" He cried out quietly. "I've finished my homework, I've reread all of my books, and I've sent out an order for a few new books to read, but I can't expect Hedwig back until tomorrow evening…And… And the headmistress won't respond to the letters I have sent…I feel like I'm going to go crazy!"
Dudley shook his head sadly. Harry had been extremely glum, especially after the response to Dudley's letter to Hermione had arrived. She had accused Harry of trying to impersonate his cousin and that she could tell that it was really his hand writing.
After that Harry engrossed himself in getting his assignments done and rereading his texts, assuring himself that he knew the material.
"Harry-" The chubby boy said carefully. "I know this is nothing like what your friends would give you, but-" He ran out of the room and returned with a large rectangular box, with a smaller, and yet still large, box atop it. "It's the newest one out and I thought you might like it…and well…Happy Birthday!"
Harry looked surprised up at his cousin as the neatly wrapped gifts were at next to him. "Th-thank you!"
"Well, open them!"
The smaller boy nodded and quietly tore into the smaller box and was surprised to pull out a book, a CD player and a few CD's. "A guitar book? Thanks! But why would I need a guitar book when I don't have a guitar? Not that I'm complaining!" He quickly defended. "I love the guitar and this will help but I cou-"
"Shut up Harry and open the other gift. You'll see why I got you a book."
This was strange, Dudley was almost giddy with excitement and Harry could see it radiating off of him. But he merely shrugged and tore into the next box. His hands trembled and tears filled his eyes. "A…A…"
"A guitar?" Dudley finished for him. "Not only that, an electric guitar… Sorry I couldn't afford the amp… But mum and dad would have become suspicious if I spent more that usual… It's funny that they think I still spend that much on food."
"Why do they… You've lost quite a bit of weight…"
"Yes well, thankfully you are now gaining that weight that I have lost. Anyhow… I had the guitar specially made… well the sticker on it at least… Wizards who work in guitar shops are very hard to find, did you know that?"
Harry for the first time noticed the way the colors of green and black, and patterns swirled together and seemed to move along the delicate curves of the guitar and the sticker on the pick guard that said 'HP' in silver letters along with two silver lightning bolts on either side of it.
"It's beautiful, thank you so much Dudley! But how did you know who the wizards were?"
"Simple, I walked into the shop and I asked if anyone knew who Harry Potter was."
"Why would you need a wizard to get a guitar?"
"Well, I couldn't very well wish for the thing to change colors could I?I wanted it to change from red and black to green and black, even the sticker changes color, gold to silver."
Harry smiled at him and hid the instrument under his bed. "Thank you again, I'll have to remember to send you something this wonderful for your birthday…A belated gift at least…Anything you thing you might like?"
"I rather like that book about medicinal herbs you let me read… Think I could maybe get my hands on something like that?" Dudley had an excited pleading look in his eye, begging Harry to say yes.
"Of course, I know it must be hard to find detailed text of the healing properties of herbs in the muggle stores…I'd be happy to get you a few books." Harry yawned and stretched as he realized he hadn't eaten anything that day and his stomach grumbled.
Dudley smiled and grabbed the plate he had sat down and handed it to the thin boy. "Hide it in the usual place when your done and I'll get it in the morning when I come to wake you up."
Harry nodded and began to pick at the food as Dudley left the room and locked the door behind of him.
Once the large boy had gone Harry sighed with relief and finished his food quickly before reaching under his mattress and pulling out a thin silvery blade. It was so beautiful, and it spoke to him with levels of comfort he could never get from his friends. He frowned at his reflection and pulled up his pants leg. A silvery row of half healed cuts ran up his calve and down his ankle. He would have to start somewhere else tonight.
"No more after tonight…" Harry whispered to himself. "After tonight I will stop and I will never need the blade again… I just want to feel one more time…One more time and that's all…"
Sadly enough it was never the end, one more time was never the end. For days Harry had said this, but those days turned into to weeks that were slowing turning into months. Harry had continued his studies with the books he had mail ordered and had even gone as far as to practice wandless magic. Not that he couldn't do a bit of wandless magic before, he could only cast glamour spells and minor healing spells though, but with all of his free time he quickly got a tight grasp on it and was becoming quite talented with it.
He had also read quickly through the guitar book and began practicing with it. He could play a few songs now and at nights he and Dudley would practice together seeing as Dudley had decided he wanted to play bass. Dare they say, they did well playing together. They even joked a few times about starting a band together and become rich once they got out of school and had a back up career set; but again, it was only a joke.
Harry then a few days after that had request that Dudley bring him a few safety pins and a lighter while Hedwig went to pick up an order for the rings Harry had bought. Dudley had come into the room a few moments after he had brought these things to Harry and almost dropped the bass guitar at what he saw.
He'd just walked in to see his thin, little cousin shove a safety pin through his lip! Not only that, but there was now one in his eyebrow, four in one ear, three in the other and one Dudley had heard called a septum piercing. His mouth dropped and Harry glanced at him.
"Harry, you-your covered in safety pins!"
Dudley blinked and counted. Ten, there were ten piercing, but he brought eleven safety pins and the other was no where to be seen. "Harry… W-what did you do with the other safety pin?"
Harry blushed and looked away from the blonde boy. "Don't worry about it…"
"What did you pierce?" His voice was stern.
Harry's blush grew as he looked down and pointed at his pants. "Prince Albert piercing…"
Dudley winced and shivered. "Didn't that hurt!"
"Like hell," Harry said quietly.
"Why didn't you scream?"
"I did, I just have a silencing charm up…" Harry explained. "Hedwig will be back with my rings in a little while… You want a piercing, it was a pack of twenty."
"I-I…. Flesh piercing…"
"…back of my neck…"
Harry nodded and summoned a safety pin from the bathroom and grabbed the hand sanitizer. He quickly rubbed some on the back of his cousins neck and pinched up some of the skin. Before Dudley could change his mind the pin was already piercing his flesh and was half way through.
"Just a bit more… How bad is it?"
All that the big boy could manage was a grunt as the pin was pushed the rest of the way through and was closed.
"That was horrible!" Dudley cried. "Ouch!"
Harry smiled at him and shook his head.
"Hey if you can summon things, why didn't you just summons some studs for piercing?"
The thin boy crossed his arms. "They come from somewhere you know, they don't just pop out of thin air."
"Hey! You're the wizard, not I. I don't know these things!"
Harry laughed at the face Dudley made and there was a light tapping on the window. He walked over to it and silently pulled the chain away, opening the window and aloud the two owls sitting on the bars to squeeze through. Hedwig sat her package down and went to sit on her perch while the other gently nipped Harry's fingers and stuck it's leg out for him.
Harry quickly untied the parcels and gave the owl a treat before sending him on his way. He looked at the first one immediately recognizing the Hogwarts seal. "Must be my school list…" Harry ripped open the letter and pulled out a list of books and school supplies he would need. But inside there was also another small note. He pulled it out and unfolded it.
How dare you say such things about your family! Miss. Granger has already sent me a letter explaining why you want to leave. I assure you that your fame cannot get you out of this one. I thought you were better than to make false accusations of abuse about your family, even after that incident second year, I know they would never lay a hand on you! You should be ashamed! Good-day Mr. Potter.
Harry's eyes welled up with tears as he crumpled the letter up, set it on fire and threw it in the waste basket. Not even the Headmistress of Hogwarts would believe him! He had never once complained about what had happened to him at school. He had never once complained about the teachers, with the exception of Umbridge, and he had never complained about how his family had treated him.
"Harry?" Dudley said quietly. "Are you alright?"
"Y-yeah, f-fine… I just… I think I'd like to go to bed now… I'll put the bar in your neck tomorrow, okay?"
The chubby blonde nodded and locked the window back and left the room locking the door behind of him.
Harry sighed once he was gone and took the razor out of it's hiding spot. He rolled up his sleeve and began to cut small rows into his skin. No one would care, and they would be healed by morning. The only person he would need to hide them from would be his cousin.
More weeks passed and time found Harry lying on his bed in a pair of baggy bondage pants he had gotten when he and Dudley had snuck out one day. They had gone to Daigon Ally and withdrawn a bit of Harry's money, then exchanged some of it for muggle money which ended up being a couple hundred dollars. He had gotten himself some new clothes with the muggle money and with the wizard money he had gotten a few tattoo's and his school items.
He had also gotten Dudley a few books on herbal healing like he said he would and aloud him to get a tattoo that matched his own; a black bear paw print between his forefinger and thumb as a symbol of new found friendship.
Dudley had been shocked at first to see how many tattoo's Harry had gotten. When he said 'a few' Dudley thought one or two, but when Harry walked out of the room with the wizard tattoo artist, he came out with sleeves.
Dudley sighed as he thought about the last few weeks. He was really going to miss his cousin, especially sense he confessed to paying for his tattoo just when his parents were about to cut him off from all of his friends and probably give him a beating as well.
Harry would be leaving today and the Weasleys would be there any moment. Dudley unlocked his door and helped him pack while his parents were out again and Hedwig was sent ahead to headquarters.
"Harry, what are your friends going to think about this new style of yours?"
"I don't see how it would matter, they didn't even believe me when I said I was being beaten, I couldn't care less what they think at this point." Harry sighed and put his guitar on his back. "We'll need to get together and play again when I'm out of school." Dudley nodded with agreement. " I'll miss you being around…"
"I'll miss you too Harry, I'm glad I finally got to know you."
Harry gave him a hug as a horn beeped from outside, forcing Harry away from the blonde boy so he could pick up his things and, with Dudley's help, carry Hedwig's cage. He loaded his things into the trunk or Author Weasley's car and gave his thick cousin one last hug before climbing into the backseat with Ron and Hermione.
Okay so review, kay! Tell me what you think! (Srry to those of you reading my other story as well, I needed to take an extended break from that one so I could try to get the story going back in the correct direction... It got kinda off of it's story line(y) thingy...))