CH. 2

"Oh God, Jean."

Storm's eyes opened and she looked down at Logan, whose hand seemed to have
frozen in midair.

"Jean? Did you just fucking say Jean?" She looked down at Logan, her eyes
still white. He seemed to stunned to answer her, or think of an
explanation. "You bastard."

Ororo threw herself up from him and grabbed her shirt off the floor.

"Ororo, wait," Logan called, quickly getting up from the couch.

"I get it now. Goddess, I'm such an idiot. All that you said about not
loving Jean was bullshit. I'm just her substitute body. I'm just a hole
that you pretend is Jean."

"No, that's not what I feel.."

"Logan," she turned to face him, a desperate look on his face greeted her
look of hatred and tears. "Logan," she sobbed out, her voice breaking,
"Fuck off. Go to hell."

She ran out of the rec room, tears falling bitterly against her cheeks.
~You're so stupid, you're so stupid.~

"Wait," he called out one last time, before Ororo used the wind to slam the
door shut. A moment later she heard the door crack unmercifully as he threw
it open, and Logan half ran out of it. She ran the rest of the way back
into her classroom, which was only about twenty feet away, with Logan making
an attempt to match her nimble speed.

By the time she got into the room and had locked the door, she was spent.
She slid against the wall down onto the floor, not trying to mask her loud
sobs. She choked on all the waters that poured out of her, poured out of
her and the skies. Thunder rumbled directly over the school as ton upon ton
of rain fell, as if trying to purge the earth like a Second Great Flood.

"You're so stupid!" she screamed to herself as thunder cracked loudly and
lightening struck a nearby tree. Fuck controlling her powers. Fuck reason.
All she wanted to do was lose control. To cry. To make the pain go away.
Her heart felt like it had been ripped in half, like her soul was missing.
"I loved him! I fucking loved him!" She lost her sobs in a scream, as her
voice echoed through out the school. The rain became vertical now, and a
tropical storm struck the coast of New Jersey.

She sobbed until a river ran through her classroom, and finally she fell
into an exhausted pile onto the floor. She was to weak to move. She didn't
care enough to move. And that's how she fell asleep.

Logan stood outside her door throughout this entire time, listening to her
screams. ~You're a stupid fuck, you know that Logan?~ His shoulders
sagging, he walked back to his room, where he stared at his ceiling for most
of the night, and listened to the rain that didn't stop.

***

A sliver of sunlight hit Storm's eye the next day, rousing her from her
sleep. She was curled up on the floor, her face feeling tight from all the
dried tears on it. She mumbled to herself and rolled over, letting the sun
hit her back instead.

"Go away sun."

It didn't.

"Fuck off sun."

A wave of dark clouds covered the sky, and soon it was as black as midnight.
She lay like this for nearly an hour, just going over thoughts in her
head. ~You were about to make love to him and he called out Jean's name.
Jean. She has to have everything while I don't get any. She has two men
that love her. How would she feel if I just slept with Scott one day? And
him! Logan, he, that bastard. How could he. NO, no, he's not the one to
blame, you are. Goddess, you're an idiot. You've always known that he still
loves Jean, but you told your naïve little self that he secretly loved you,
and you let yourself love him. Never again. I guess the Shadow King was
right. You're life will never be filled with love, because you don't
deserve it. You're worthless.~

A fresh tear trickled down her face as she realized this. She was
worthless. All that she'd done in life was cause others pain. Even now,
just by being alive, she was screwing up the weather cycle. It shouldn't
have rained last night. It should have snowed.

"I guess I'll just fix that now," she whispered to herself. Her eyes whited
over and soon a blizzard struck half of New York. The temperature, which
had been 45 degrees, dropped to ten. Giving the storm her incentive, she
let it snow and snow for hours, until the ground was blanketed by six feet,
until she could hear the pipes in the mansion burst from the extreme cold,
until she was sure that anything green that had been growing had died. It
didn't deserve to live anyway, like her.

There was a soft knock at the door.

" 'Ro? I know you're in there. Are you doing this?" It was Logan.

Ororo didn't answer, just huddled herself into a tighter ball.

"You've got to stop it, Ororo. It ain't natural."

"Fuck off, Logan. Leave me alone, and don't you dare tell me what I can and
can't do."

"Stop it. The news is reporting that five people have already frozen to
death. Little kids, walking home from their last day of school."

Ororo stopped and licked her lips. Five little children. She had probably
done them a favor. She had prevented them from learning of the pain in
life. "Good. Maybe I can join them."

"What? That's not funny, Ororo."

"Who's trying to be funny?" she muttered to herself, adjusting her position.
She could hear Logan pacing outside the door.

"Open the door."

"Fuck off."

"I'm going to break it down."

She responded to this by creating another storm. A snow storm, with
thunder. ~That's a fucking awesome combination. Good work.~

She heard a familiar snikt noise. Logan was drawing out his claws, she
realized. She saw one burst through the wood of the door, and make a crude
circle around the knob. Knocking the now useless wood out, he pushed the
door forward, leaving Storm barely enough time to scoot away and avoid being
hit. He looked down at her crumpled body.

"Come on, Storm, you're better than this. Get up and stop the storm."

"No."

"Stop it now."

"I don't want to."

Gruffly he reached down and yanked her to her feet. She swayed once, the
world turning gray because of the sudden rush of blood to her head. She
grasped onto the wall for support. ~I guess a lot of blood went rushing.
That felt.ohh.~

"Storm, people are dying just because you're in a bad mood. This ain't
fucking funny."

"And it's not supposed to be, and if you touch me again, bastard, I'll just
make it worse."

Storm swayed again, losing her footing and half stumbling against the wall.
Logan reached over to help straiten her, but he was greeted with the eerie
whistling of wind as thicker snow fell.

"Don't you dare touch me. That's what Jean is for."

She pushed a chunk of her hair back and slowly began navigating her way past
Logan and to the door. She was feeling woozy. Probably from crying half
the night.

"Stop. Listen, I won't touch ya, but this is insane. You can't just abuse
your powers like this."

"But it's OK for you to abuse my body and take advantage of me, just because
you're feeling horny? Damn was, it that sad."

"You're not even making sense. Are you sick or something?"

"Fuck the back off, Logan!"

She shoved him aside with a gust of wind and ran wobbly from the room. She
darted down the hallway and into the bathroom, where she hurriedly locked
the door. Her hands were shaking as her eyes darted back and forth, looking
for something to help her.

Her razor. Her beautiful, blue razor.

Snapping the plastic apart, she pulled out the blades and eyed them lustily.
It would be so simple. She giggled to herself as she ran her finger over
it. It cut her skin easily, and a small line of blood arose from her thumb.
~Ha. I always was a bitch about having smooth legs.~

Wood flew around Storm's head as the door flew open. Logan hadn't bothered
to announce himself this time. Instead, he had just kicked the door down.

"Leave alone! Leave! My doesn't love you!" she screamed as another wind
pushed him back.

She jumped over his body and prepared to fly down the hall, but he caught
her ankle. She fell to the ground, as he began pulling her back towards
him.

"What are you doing?"

He stared in disbelief as two prefect red lines appeared on her wrist, going
on some vertical journey. She started laughing out loud, a cold, mechanical
laughter, while her fingers shook furiously. The tiny blade dropped to the
ground as she rolled onto her back, laughing and holding her wrists up in
the air.

"Look what I did! It's a pretty red river."

"Jesus. Oh shit, Jesus."

He quickly let go of her ankle and grabbed her wrists, putting as much
pressure against them as he could. His hands were becoming slippery with
all the blood.

"What the, you did all this because I said Jean's name?"

"Who's Jean?"

"We need to get you to a hospital, but we're snowed in. Ro, listen to me.
You gotta make the snow go away, or else you're gonna die."

"And I'll have five little kids to keep me company!" She managed one more
laugh before she passed out.

***

~Where am I?~ She thought to herself, groggily. She could feel blankets
draped over her, and she was on a bed. When she opened her eyes, she was in
the school's infirmary. The Professor, Logan, Jean, Scott, and Dr. McCoy
looked down at her.

"She's waking up," Beast said tentatively, as he peered into her face.

"Wha..what's going on?" her voice sounded weak and scared, even to her.

The Professor cleared his throat. "You're in the infirmary. Can you tell
me what your name is?"

"I'm Ororo. Munroe." She panted out. Talking seemed so hard. Her throat
was very dry. "What happened to me? Was the school attacked?"

Logan looked at the Professor questioningly as he continued. "No, Ororo, we
were not attacked. You tried to take your life two days ago. You slit your
wrists."

Memories came flooding back once again. She remembered it all again, but
not as if it had happened to her, but as if she had watched it happening to
some stranger.

"Goddess, why did I do that? I remember, but, but that wasn't me."

"We know, Ororo. I only thank God that Beast happened to come to the
mansion to deliver Christmas presents before it was too late."

"But why did I do it? Surely I wasn't that mad at Logan for.for.."

"Hush, my X-Man, and let me explain. Or perhaps Beast could explain it the
best."

"Thank you Professor. After Logan and I had patched Storm up sufficiently
and called the Professor and Jean and Scott, I asked him what exactly had
happened. Logan, err, described the delicate situation to me and told me
how you weren't acing like yourself, almost like you were on some foreign
substance. That's what got me thinking about being under the influence of
not a foreign substance, but, err, the substances that are abundant when one
is engaging in, well, yes, it got me thinking about pheromones and hormones.
Because of Logan's mutation, he gives off a fair amount of normally latent
chemicals everyday, most of them primal, and I took the liberty to examine a
few of them in comparison to your own."

"I'm not sure if I'm following you," Ororo murmured, closing her eyes. She
was so tired.

"Well, to explain it in simpler terms, the chemicals Logan excrete have a
negative reaction with your own pheromones and chemicals. Especially those
released from your pituitary, your doscorine pheromones in particular.
Under normal circumstances, you have an abundance of them, and whenever they
come in contact with Logan's, I believe it was his cytosenic chemicals, it
created negative effects in your medulla region of your mind and throughout
body. Tell me, Ororo, after encounters with Logan, did you often feel
confused, angry, irrational, and, err, aroused?"

Ororo let loose a little smile. "Actually yes. Constantly. Even now I
can't stop thinking about him, but I shouldn't be."

Logan felt a bit uncomfortable and took a small step away form her bed.

"That's exactly what my evidence shows. And lately, our area has been under
a low pressure system. I took the opportunity to study this, and it appears
that under low barometric pressure, you produce even stronger and more
abundant doscorine pheromones, as a result of your mutation, which result in
even more heightened feelings of anger, confusion, irrational behavoir, and,
err, arousal. That would explain your behavior and actions this past week,
and why you temporarily lost control of you powers and created all those
storms."

"I never lost control of my powers."

"What?"

"I never lost control of them. If anything, I had more control. It surged
through my body like raw energy. I created those storms that killed all
those people."

"But you were under the influence of-"

"Of my own body. My friend, you can't mask the fact that I killed those
people through my actions. But thank you for explaining to me the root of
my problem."

"Anytime, my dear. As for now, you need some bed rest, so I would suggest
that all of us let her be for the time."

Jean leaned down to kiss her forehead, and soon all of them had left. All
except for Logan. He lingered by her bed, tracing his finger up and down
the metal guard rail.

"Listen Ro. I'm real sorry about what happened. I shouldn't of never
treated you like that and then said Jean's name. It was just a mistake, a
very stupid mistake on my part. I didn't mean to say her name."

Ororo's eyes followed his finger while he spoke. "That's all right Logan.
And I guess I should apologize myself for how I acted." She laughed a
bright yet sad laugh. "And to think, Logan, that I thought that I was in
love with you. I was sure that I was."

Logan stopped tracing his finger up and down the rail and stared at her
intently.

"I was sure that that was the only explanation as to why I always noticed
you. Why I knew that you always leave for your jog at 6:43, come back at
7:21, and then take a thirteen minute shower. Why I knew that you hate
grape jelly, that your favorite show is Cops, that you secretly like to read
Cosmo when you don't think anybody's looking."

Logan's throat convulsed as it looked like he wanted to say something, but
Storm continued.

"I thought I was in love with you. That I'd spend the rest of my life with
you, that I'd feel your body pressed against mine and that you'd whisper 'I
love you' in my ear. But it was just the chemicals."

He took a step closer to her face. "Ro, it can't be all chemicals, cuz I-"

Storm reached up and grabbed his hand that had been just about to stroke her
face. "Logan, don't. Please don't. I won't be able to stop myself. Even
now, I feel, I feel, my body is screaming for you to make love to me. If
you touched my face, I wouldn't be able to stop. I'd kiss you back and melt
into you. I'd become on with you, but, but-" she lost her train of thought
as her skin told her of how warm and wonderful his hand felt, his skin
against hers. She dropped his hand roughly. "But I can't let what happened
ever happen again. It's my responsibility."

Logan gulped and looked down at her. "I understand. I just, well, I should
probably let you get yer rest. I'll," he paused as Ororo closed her eyes,
knowing what he was going to say, "I'll try and stay away from you from now
on. That's my responsibility."

She kept her eyes closed for some time, long after she heard the soft click
of the door closing. Only then did a solitary tear run down her skin, the
skin that was still on fire from Logan's caress a few days ago, but never
again. ~It had only been the chemicals between us.~



That's the end. Did you like it? Oh, please lie to me and say you did!