Harry Potter: Unspeakable Truths Vol: 1 The truth is out there.

Disclaimer: HP cast is copyright JK Rowling, and her publishers. Several other character references are borrowed from Rorschach's Blot.

Special Thanks to my wonderful Beta KDTheRavenclaw and also the entire (and somewhat insane) group on Rorsch's Yahoo group.

Chapter One – Feel this Way

It had been seven long days since the school term ended and things were not looking up for the Boy Who Lived. After being banished to his bedroom on 4 Privett Drive, Harry Potter was restless, the grief of losing his godfather was only matched by the guilt for leading him and his best friends into an ambush that had nearly gotten them all killed. With his godfather there was no almost, he had gotten Sirius killed, and once again by luck, fate, or whatever you want to call it, he, the Boy Who Lived, managed to once again keep his title, coming way from the whole ordeal without a permanent scratch.

He had already lashed out once, destroying most of his headmaster's possessions (and a good portion of his office) in the process. Now… now he just wanted to rest, to forget what had happened, hoping that if he closed his eyes this would all be just a nightmare, and he would be sitting on the Hogwarts Express at the start of his 5th year. He would open them to find Neville looking for his toad, Hermione arguing with Ron, Luna reading the Quibbler upside down, and Ginny sitting quietly just watching what was going on.

He closed and then slowly opened his eyes, no such luck. He was starting to sink deeper in his depression. It had been a week since the start of summer holiday and still no word from any of his friends. Not so much as a 'Hey Mate how you doing?' from Ron, he'd even be willing to be happy with a long lecture from Hermione if it meant contact with the outside world. He'd look at Hedwig asking her to go visit his friends, at least that way one of them could stretch out and get some air, her response was to nip his finger affectionately. Feeling somewhat better that his owl still cared for him, he was none-the-less disappointed about not hearing from anyone. He walked over to his trunk wanting to get a quill to try and organize his thoughts on paper, perhaps the start of a letter to one of his friends, assuming Hedwig could get past the wards. Opening the trunk, he was surprised to find a letter waiting for him in a familiar script. Taking a deep breath, he opened the letter and began to read. The hand to which the script belonged became instantly obvious as the letter began.

Dear Harry,

This letter is charmed so that I'll be able to write to you during the summer if Ron's being a prat and won't let me borrow his owl. (After last summer when I tried to exchange letters with a friend using Erol I decided to find an alternate means of communication). So please don't throw it away yet. I'll be able to write to you in a more direct manner at a later time.


PS – Yes I managed to smuggle this into your trunk, lets just say that Fred and George aren't the only ones who know how to circumvent school rules.

Below that was a second letter.

Dear Harry,

There's so much I want to say, I know we've never really had a chance to sit and talk about things. I wanted to thank you for what you did for me my first year, while everyone was accusing you of opening the chamber it was me, and after you learned the truth you never blamed me for my weakness, or pushed me away because I was possessed by Tom. I know you would have done it for anybody, but I still appreciate it.

I wanted to tell you that I had some time to get to know Sirius over the last year and I know you must be grieving. I know I am and I didn't know him half as well as you did. Please don't push your friends away right now, not just for yourself, (and don't think for a moment that I haven't noticed how you tend to distance yourself buster) but for us. I know I have a family I can go to when I'm feeling down, but you are as much a part of that family as Hermione, or any one of my prat brothers are. I also know that when they are hurting and don't want my help it hurts me and makes me feel as if I'm not good enough. Just know that if you need someone to listen to you I'm here.

Professor Dumbledore told all of us that we were not allowed to send you any owls over the summer, something about security risks. I think that's a load of crap, he's never had problems any other year so why now? Ron and I have tried sending you owls, first Pig came back with his letter, and when we used the postal owls they came back appearing to have made their delivery, but since you haven't replied yet I'm willing to bet someone intercepted it. We then asked to send you letters through your watchers, The four that we know have that duty are Mundungus, Snape, Dedalus and Tonks. Tonks' won't start duty till later but said she'd deliver them, the others said they were supposed to keep their distance and let you live your summer in peace. What's up with him? He spent the better part of last year ignoring you, and now he wants us to do the same? Hermione's been trying to get a hold of you through "Muggle means" but she said she hasn't had any luck either.

Harry, we really need to talk face to face at some point, there are things I have to tell you, and I can't just do it on paper. Mum is working to get you to come to the Burrow but the Headmaster is being difficult. If he doesn't cooperate soon I'm going to use my Bat-Bogey hex on him!

There is one other Charm on this paper. In case you weren't allowed to use Hedwig this summer I made the back of this paper the same as the front, except your parchment will work as the sender instead of receiver. Please don't feel like you owe it to us to write a letter, but please reply just so we know if you've been getting our mail or not. If you are and just want to be left alone we will stop, but if someone's stealing our letters before they get to you we didn't want you to think we had forgotten about you.

I hope you don't think I'm doing this to annoy you in any way, but please Harry I'm not telling you this to make you angry, but if nothing else, don't spend your summer moping and feeling guilty. From the little I got to know Sirius he wanted you to live your life being happy, playing Quiditch, finding a way to beat Tom, and then spend the rest of it making little pronglett's for him and Moony to spoil. (His words, I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean, though the little Pronglett part was kind of self explanatory).

Your friend (I hope)


Harry finished the letter and choked back a sob, his friends hadn't forgotten about him! He let the gamut of emotions run through as he considered the ramifications of what Ginny had implicated in the letter. He thought about what he really knew about the youngest Weasley, it wasn't that much, he felt a little guilty about that. He knew her of course, but they hadn't really been that close or anything. He resolved to, if nothing else, at least get to know her a little better this year, and then added Neville and Luna to that list. Both had gone with him on the reckless adventure, and he really didn't know them that well. He felt extra guilty about Neville who could have been in his position if Voldemort had chosen differently.

After taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts, he grabbed a quill and flipped the letter over.

Dear Ginny,

Let me start by thanking you for your letter, I have not received any post here at Azkaban South, so it really made my day. The charms work on it is amazing and the fact that you managed to smuggle it into my trunk makes it all the more impressive. I'm very glad to know that you all have been trying to send me letters, it was a thrill to get yours so please don't give up on me!

Regarding Professor Dumbledore, I've noticed he's had a hand in a lot of what has gone on in my life these past years, and I've started to take a better look at it. He failed to mention the part about my security concerns and thus I was left thinking that everyone wasn't talking to me on the account of almost getting you all killed, (not that I would blame you if you hated me for that). Speaking of the headmaster, are there any other orders he left that I should know about… if you have some way of contacting me after this charm wears off please use it, I really don't think I can trust my life to him anymore, not after what happened last year. And the fact that he's the reason I thought you all had given up on me is just adding to my frustration with him.

I'm glad you got to know Sirius a bit. He didn't like being locked away and forgotten (and I can understand where he's coming from), and the fact that you reached out to him means more to me than you could know. And regarding that issue, I won't lie to you and say I feel fine. It hurts, Gin. One of my happiest moments was when he asked if I wanted to move in with him during my third year, to have all that gone, I don't know how to describe it. I feel empty, like a piece of me is missing. And the worst part is it's my fault. If I had only remembered to use the mirror I would have figured out Kreacher was lying, If I had listened to Hermione I would have waited, if I had kept my head I wouldn't have charged off on a suicide mission taking my five best friends with me. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I wouldn't be worthy of such a friend.

If you need, or want to talk I'm always here, arranging it might be a bit difficult at the moment though. The twins might be able to swing something as they are Order members, but I don't know who my watcher is at the moment. If we have to wait until I can get to the Burrow we'll do it then. Speaking of Watchers, I look forward to seeing Tonks if that means mail, do you know when she'll be starting?

I know I mentioned it already, but this letter is brilliant charms work, I now understand why professor Flitwick mentioned you were the best charms student in your year. I'm going to keep some space at the bottom, so if you write me again with it I can write back.

If you could pass word to who needs it, (the usual) I'd appreciate it if you told them I was doing fine, and getting along ok. If Hermione presses, let her know what I told you, I should have known she'd try Muggle methods to contact me, but nothing has come through yet.

You've been a much better friend than I could ever deserve already.

Harry James Potter.

PS - Quiditch and beating Tom are definite goals for my future, little pronglett's however is a whole separate issue, one I can't even bother considering while Old Moldy is still on the prowl.

Once again banished to Azkaban South, I remain your

Harry James Potter.

He signed the letter with a flourish and set it carefully back into his trunk. With that out of the way he started on the next task, getting his life back in some kind of order.

Taking a deep breath he began to organize his thoughts, trying to figure out how he had managed to fall to this point. 'Let's see, Tommy boy kills my parents and as a little one year old Dumbledore decides to place me in the care of my aunt and uncle, and then never checks on me. I spend the next 10 years in hell being turned into a bloody house elf, actually Dobby was probably treated better by the Malfoys than I was, at least he got to use magic.'

He grabbed a new piece of parchment and dipped his quill in some ink, wishing he had thought of buying more of the self-inking quills he had gotten earlier in the year. He then proceeded to write three names at the top of his paper and separated them. Albus Dumbledore got 10 lines under his as did the Dursley's, one for each year of his hellish confinement. Riddle Also received 10 lines for that plus two more, one for each of his parents.

He continued in this fashion beginning with his first, and continuing through his fifth year at Hogwarts and the summers in between. For each incident that he could remember clearly in which he was mis-informed, lied to, injured, attacked, ignored or otherwise not treated as a human being, he added a line to the offending party's name. Tom Riddle of course had the most lines, the Ministry of Magic had the least. The surprising factor was how many lines were underneath his Headmasters.

"Either I'm going crazy, extremely paranoid, or beginning to feel very manipulated. Especially since he's obviously stealing my mail."

The comment was made to himself, for his own benefit. He had spoken to an empty and very heavily warded room, thus he received the shock of his life when he heard a voice from behind him.

"Excellent deduction Mr. Potter, I applaud your reasoning skills."

Harry spun around, pulling his right arm back while he brought his right hand up, bringing his wand into an attack position but preventing it from easily being knocked from his grasp if his opponent was right behind him. His reaction had been so fast, he never even bothered to realize that he wasn't holding his wand when he started to swing around. (Oops!)

The wand in question was pointed at an unremarkable man in nondescript, though well tailored clothing, who was sitting on his desk in a rather lazy position.

"Who the bloody hell are you? And what do you want for that matter?"

"My, Mr. Potter, what foul language, what would your Mrs. Weasley say about that?"

Harry's eyes narrowed and he snapped, "I'd have to be alive to hear her yell at me, now answer the question please, I'd rather not have a reason to break the law and kill you where you stand."

In a blink of an eye the man knocked Harry's wand out of his grasp and trained his own on him. He glared in defiance, that if he were to die he'd go out in battle. He was rather surprised when the man reholstered his wand.

"Oh do calm down Mr. Potter, rest assured if I had wanted you harmed or dead, you would be. Now, my name is of no consequence at the moment, and I work for a department of the ministry that doesn't exist. I'm here because we've had an interest in you for the last 4 years, but this was the first time we had an asset in place that afforded us an opportunity to chat." The man relaxed his posture and sat back down.

"What do the idiots at the ministry want with me?" he said waving his hand behind his back, his eyes on the gentleman in front of him, though from his blurry peripheral he could see his wand begin to slowly move across the floor.

"Please do not lump us in with the incompetent morons in the other departments. For one thing we don't report to the Minister of Magic. We are an elite group that make most of the Aurors out there look like first year students. The only Auror worth his salt at all is retired, I believe you know Alastor?"

Harry nodded, he knew Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody quite well, but he knew more than a few other Aurors. "I wouldn't say he's the only one, I know another Auror who's as clumsy as they come, but can hold her own in a fight."

"Oh yes, we are aware of her, but recruiting her is not an option for us. Now as I said we would like you to join us. You'd have to take a few oaths of silence, to prevent certain well-established parties with many titles from finding out."

His mind in overdrive, the Boy Who Lived thought of something he could use to stall the man and give him more time to think. "What's the deal if, and I stress if, I sign on with you? Mister…"

"For now you me refer to me as Mr. Blue. We all use alternate references to ourselves when we aren't at Headquarters. Now as for your benefits, we would train and teach you, pay you for any work you would perform for us, naturally we'd help you finish your last two years at Hogwarts, and perhaps get you ready for your eventual final confrontation with one Dark Lord Voldemort."

"You can say his name!"

"Most of our department can, we are well aware of who he really is, and his background."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean eventual final confrontation?"

Mr. Blue fixed him with a stare of his own. "Don't think us stupid Mr. Potter, we've been studying those prophecies for years, of course I know what's on yours."

Harry breathed, another lie the old man had told him. "My apologies, just adding to the lists of falsehoods, and mis-information I've received from our mutual friend. I had wanted to be an Auror, or maybe go into quiditch, what would be my commitment to you for this?"

"I will admit to you Mr. Potter, that should you join us, I doubt seriously if you'd still have any desire to go into the Ministry's Auror program. Though with your history with the Ministry can you honestly see yourself working for them? As for quiditch, we have different types of jobs, I'm sure we could find one that would accommodate you should you wish to pursue an alternate career."

"How can you tell me all this so easily if I'd need an oath of silence to be a part of you?"

"Simple, if you refuse I wipe your memory, oh don't look at me like that, that's standard practice for a failed recruiting job." He said as he again drew his wand.

It was now or never, he twisted his wrist and with a burst of desperate magic he summoned his wand to his hand and snapped it up at the man. "No one is touching my memories or messing with my mind. Ever. Again."

Mr. Blue was more than a little surprised at what he had just witnessed. A fifteen, soon to be sixteen year-old performing that level of wandless magic was just a bit intimidating. He had written off the first occurrence as accidental magic, but for it to happen twice, Young Mr. Potter had more power available than their reports had led him to believe; and the report listed him as quite powerful to begin with. He knew that Professor had been looking for an operative skilled in Wandless Magic, and it looked like young Mr. Potter might fit that bill nicely.

"Well I see you aren't quite ready to decide yet. Tell you what, I'll make a deal with you Mr. Potter. Give my offer some thought; should you decide to get involved with us I think you'll find the results very satisfying. Should you decide to not trust us and throw your odds with your Headmaster I will ask for your Wizard Oath to not reveal anything we said and let it go without the memory Charm will that suffice?"

"I find your terms very reasonable Mr. Blue. Is there anything else you'd like to share with me?"

"I'll give you some food for thought, just so you know I wasn't lying when I said we were keeping an eye on our mutual friend. I have another student operative in place, I won't give you there identity because I wouldn't want you to inadvertently burn them. Nor will they know about you, should you decide to join us."

"Does this operative report back on me as well Mr. Blue?"

Croaker (Also known as Mr. Blue) weighed his options, if he said yes, than Mr. Potter might let his temper get the better of him. If he lied and said no, he'd be no better than the manipulative headmaster that Potter was currently fuming at.

"The operative does Mr. Potter, they report back on a number of students, yourself included, as I told you before we've wanted to approach you for a number of years."

Harry decided to ignore the fact that they had been spying on him, and instead pressed for more information. "Who else does your operative report back on Mr. Blue?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter that question tinges on operational security, if I were to give you that information you might be able to piece back who the operative is, and by treating them differently you might give certain other interested parties a clue that something is off. To perhaps put your mind at ease, I will tell you that they don't feel comfortable reporting on their friends, and you particularly. They are working on my orders and I won't lie and tell you it's for your own, or the greater good, they do so because they owe us something and I called on that favor."

Mr. Blue held up a book. "A peace offering perhaps Mr. Potter, I think you'll find the contents of this book quite interesting and I'd suggest you read it tonight."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Why tonight?"

The man replied evenly, "Why not?"

Harry Snorted; this was starting to sound like one of the old man's conversations.

Mr. Blue waved his hand. "Sorry I couldn't resist the chance, all I can tell you is we've heard reports of a group of Death Eaters tasked to assault you, I don't know when, but from what we learned it's likely to be sooner rather than later, will that suffice?"

Though he wasn't happy with the answer he respected the openness from the man in front of him, even the admission of Operational Security made sense to him, instead of Dumbledore's you don't know this it's for your own good. Instead this man explained his reasoning and Harry could respect that. "I'm not saying yes I'll join you, but I will take up your offer on letting me think it over. How will I get in touch with you?"

"I will return for your answer by the end of the week. If trouble happens to find you before then, do what you need to do to survive, we will take care of the rest. Should you be willing to take my advice, just come, just check it out. Good day."

He vanished into the air. Harry gasped and jumped back, knocking over his chair and falling onto the floor. "Bloody hell! Right through the sodding apparation and port-key wards on my room, how did he do that!" he asked to the air as he began to pick up the chair and set it back to his desk.

"Boy! What's with all that bloody racket! If you're doing any of your freakish ways I'll skin you where you stand!"

"I'm sorry Uncle Vernon, I just fell and was cursing." To most people admitting to cursing would be a bad thing, but for Harry, it beat telling the truth, which would have earned him a beating, or worse.

"Well fine, we are going on a trip tomorrow. Dudley is getting some special treats for doing so well boxing at Smeltings so we are going to celebrate. Normally we'd leave a freakish runt like you with Mrs. Figg, but she's going to be out of town, and I don't trust you at home either." He grabbed Harry by the arm and wrenched him until they were face to face. "And no freakish happenings tomorrow Boy, or threat or no threat I will make you wish you died with your parents." He threw Harry back to his bed and walked out of the room.

The 15 year old sighed, and began picking his oversized clothes for the next day. When he had finished packing he picked up an advanced hex and curse book, and began reading about some new hexes. The exploding curse seemed straight forward enough, and he quickly memorized the incantation, Explodora, and the wand movement. He then turned his attention to the book Mr. Blue had left behind. 'Study notes of hex and curse modification Volume 1, by Operative Flame.'

He opened the cover and read the first few entries in the long contents. "Reflective charm/hex addition: reflectus (grade 3), Controllable modifier to Reductor and Explodora hexes: exeqourus (grade 1), Extreme High speed addition to banishing charm: (modified incantation) Pulsum Valde (grade 4)" If there were more things like this to learn, he would have to talk to Mr. Blue once more.

"This looks interesting" he said to Hedwig, the only other occupant of the room

Morning came, and found the Boy Who Lived preparing breakfast. He had gotten quite good at it over the years, and despite not enjoying the fact he was still being treated much as a house elf, he took a quiet pride in his work.

Everything finished and hit the table about the same time that the Dursleys made their appearance. Harry grabbed a piece of toast and left the room. Some days they made him wait for them, but if it was going to be a special day for his cousin than he expected verbal abuse at the table, and he honestly didn't feel like getting it this morning.

About an hour later after he had finished washing all the dishes, he hid his wand up his sleeve and followed his cousin to the car.

"Remember boy, any freakish business and you'll wish you died with your parents!"

"Yes Uncle Vernon," came the polite reply.

The day was filled with shopping for Dudley, and observation for Harry, as he wasn't allowed to touch or buy anything. Harry had avoided the wrath of his cousin simply by staying away from the family, close enough not to get yelled at for wandering off, far enough so that they could pretend he wasn't with them.

They had just finished shopping around and he was looking forward to getting back to the Dursleys, at least he could continue reading his books in secret that way. Dudley had wanted (and received) a new set of weights to train with, and his Aunt had purchased a large marble slab for her kitchen. Harry wondered why in the world she'd need it since he did most of the cooking and he wasn't allowed to touch it. At least that meant that Dudley was carrying it into the house. Harry, upon the return, was put to task washing the car, after todays use it may have gotten dirt on it.

A soft popping sound drew his attention and he furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, thinking rapidly. he hadn't told anyone from the Order where he was going (as he didn't know) nor were they anywhere so he was fairly positive he wouldn't run into any trouble of the wizarding kind. Not that it had stopped him from stuffing his wand up his sleeve, something Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody would have been proud of.

As the pops he had heard revealed themselves to be Death Eaters, he realized just what a good decision that had been.

"Come out widdle Baby Potter, the Dark lord would like to have a few words with you."

In a flash, the-Boy Who Lived had his wand out and started casting. He nailed one of the death eaters with a Stupefy, taking him out of the fight. He glanced around taking a quick inventory of possible cover right before everything dissolved into chaos. 'Got to find a way to get away' he thought to himself. Ignoring the fact that at the first sign of trouble his Uncle Vernon had grabbed his aunt and cousin and ran back into the store.

"Stupefy!" Three at once, the red light of the curses casting strange shadows all around.

"Protego!" He yelled, the shield stopping two of the curses and then dove out of the way of the last one.

"Reducto" he snarled the bludgeoning curse nailing another one of the five throwing him up and out of the fight.

Bellatrix suddenly stood up and whipped her wand around "Crucio!"

Desperately he summoned his Aunt's new Marble slab which took the curse and promptly shattered. Seizing the opportunity he cast the modified high speed banishing hex he had gotten from the book on the remains of the marble slab and sent the shrapnel into the arm of another Death Eater, who screamed and collapsed in pain.

Suddenly three Aurors, alerted by violation of the restriction for use of under age magic Apparated in, and the remaining two death eaters grabbed their fallen members and Apparated out.

"Harry Potter, you are under arrest for violating the laws of under-age magic usage." And saying that the lead Auror grabbed his wand and slapped a pair of anti-magic bindings around his wrists.