A Widow's Kiss

By TheLostMaximoff

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Silverbolt's one of my favorite BW characters. R/R if you like.

The stars are beautiful tonight as is the moon. I often find myself gazing at the moon. Its purity and light are from whence I derived my name. I feel a certain kinship with it, perhaps because of my wolf heritage. However, there are other things that hold a higher place in my heavens than the moon. There is, as there always will be, my lady. The beauty of the moon is only surpassed by the heavenly beauty of my lady, Blackarachnia.

I have been accused by Rattrap and the others of being an idealist. I don't find that to be such a wretched thing. There are far worse things in this life to be labeled as. Still though, it wounds me to a certain extent. I'm outdated. My moral code is one from a bygone era of knights and ladies, of chivalry and honor. I am viewed as an eternal optimist and even a naïve fool by some of the more cynical amongst my comrades. But still, I have clung to the notions of honor, justice, nobility. I have remained constant through the waxing and waning of many moons and the ebb and flow of many troubling moments. So why is it that I find myself drawn to her, to someone who is the opposite of all the ideals I uphold? It remains a mystery to me, one which I only dwell on in the privacy of my own cerebral processor and never for too long at a time. But still, the questions nag me.

Many stories have been told of heroes who were flawless in all but one regard. Perhaps I am much the same. I am unwavering in my code except when it comes to Blackarachnia. The secret meetings, the unwillingness to engage her in combat, the longing and desire for her, they are all against my nature. I defend innocence, beauty, and truth while she promotes deceit, darkness, and tyranny. Could I be wrong to love her as I do? The others would think so if they knew of my affection for her. But what do I think of it? It is love, a love born from the ability to see her true self that lies beyond the lies and deceptions. But what price am I willing to pay for that love? My fellow Maximals will only tolerate my hesitance against her for so long before they will learn the truth. What is the truth though? What if the Blackarachnia I see is an illusion, another deception, and the others were right about her all along? Perhaps I am really a fool seeing the world through a rose-colored tint and am blinded by innocence to the harsh realities of the world. So be it then, a fool I shall ever remain.

I sometimes wonder what I would do to ensure our happiness together. I entertain notions of running away with her to a land far away from war and death, a land where we could lie together and behold the moon, basking in its beauty and in one another's love. However, my duty calls and I must always heed it. I could not give up my life as a soldier, a knight, just to be with my lady fair. That would be too heavy a sacrifice. What else would I do then? Would I slay entire Predacon battalions in her name, carving her name on every broken body? Where would be the true honor in killing for a widow, vanquishing foes for a spider? I could not kill for her, not in my right mind. Life is beautiful and I must defend it. I could not kill in her name.

She makes me contradict myself in ways I never knew. I love her with all of my being but it still cannot change the facts. Optimus would tell me that my judgment is clouded and sometimes I would incline to agree. My lady is both a poison and a medicine to me. She makes me feel alive while slowly killing me. Through my love for her, I feel that I am losing my way, losing my honor. If I hold fast to my code, I may yet lose my lady's heart. If I follow my love for her blindly, I may taint and destroy my honor. Sometimes I think I could live with that. When I stare up at the moon and let my thoughts turn to Blackarachnia, I idly fantasize about deviating from my code. Perhaps I would risk my honor for her, for the heart of hers that is worth all the pain and sorrow of the world. I would risk becoming poisoned and tainted beyond measure all for a widow's kiss.