Is That Humanly Possible?
Hermione woke suddenly something pressed against her face. She opened her mouth trying to breath but it was completely blocked.
' Oh fuck I'm suffocating!' Her mind screamed and she thrashed violently finally dislodging whatever had been over her head. 'That's better.' She thought relaxing back into her lovely, comfy bed. Her hand came down on something hard and she reached a hand out running it inquisitively along the long length of something. Hermione skimmed her fingers lightly across the bumps, before pressing down slightly harder; she heard a groan and her hand stopped instantly, frozen.
There was a muted mumbling and she raised her head slightly to see what exactly was in her bed and groaning. She opened her eyes slightly, and they skimmed down the slim, muscular, incredibly sexy torso, of a man. A MAN! A MAN! O god! Hermione began hyperventilating but her eyes did not stop their course as they traveled over chiseled pectorals, and well-defined biceps, and her mouth began to water. The person's head was obscured so she had yet to find out who it was. She glanced guiltily down at his hips, which were barely covered by the thin sheet, she checked to make sure his eyes weren't open before lifting the sheet a bit. She gasped letting it fall back down, the image now seared in her mind, ' Is that possible?' She thought and she picked up the sheet again cocking her head to the side, ' I guess it is.'
Hermione let the sheet drop and looked towards the top half of the spectacular specimen, its face was still covered and she collected her thoughts. ' I wonder if I just ask him to leave will it be too rude? Probably. How about I just ask why he snuck into my bed, hopefully he was too drunk to remember.'
'I wonder if I was good. '
'Hermione! Focus on the task at hand.'
' I am.' Her other half whispered and once again her traitorous eyes drifted down that torso. ' Just do it Hermione.' She thought adamantly before pausing and giggling at the context of her words. So Hermione took a deep breath before grabbing the pillow and jerking it away, Hermione waited with her eyes closed waiting for a groan, or something to indicate that he was awake. Nothing.
Her eyes opened a crack and when it was clear that he was still asleep she opened them slowly. She froze, she could've sworn that her insides turned to ice, hell froze over. Hermione's mouth opened and she screamed, her voice reverberating off the walls.
Malfoy swore loudly sitting up in bed and glaring at her.
" What the bloody fuck are you screaming about!" He yelled and she screamed again shoving him hard enough that he fell backwards off the bed landing with his legs still partially on.
" O god." She heard Malfoy moan but she was too busy pulling the covers over her naked body to care.
" What the fucking hell was that for?" Came his angry voice but he remained motionless. Hermione didn't speak or move. ' Maybe if I don't move he wont see me! That works right. I mean not just with dinosaurs right. O shit he's moving. I should've pushed him harder knocked him out or something!' She thought frantically backing up to the farthest edge away from him. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath and when she opened them his legs had disappeared. ' Where'd he go? Oh my god it's just like the movies! Get away from the edge of the bed, don't let him grab your feet.' She was moving forward when lo and behold he stood up right in front of her naked.
" What is your problem Granger?" He asked glaring at her. All Hermione registered was the fact that he was standing in front of her naked before she screamed again, he lurched backwards his hands covering his ears and he stumbled into the bedside table, which hit him in the back of the knees causing him to fall again.
Hermione sat dumbstruck for a moment, ' Please say he's dead.' She thought crossing her fingers but a hand reached up on the bed and there was a groan. ' Fuck. Push harder next time.'
" O god kill me."
" Yes god please do." Hermione said covering her mouth as she uttered the words aloud. Suddenly the blankets were ripped out from underneath her and she flipped backwards onto the ground, kicking out and hitting the bedpost in the process. "Motherfucking shitface!" She yelled. " You whore scumbag fucknuts!" she screamed inventing a few new swear words. She was surprised to hear chuckling and her eyes snapped open to see Malfoy looking down at her.
" Nice vocabulary." He said before his eyes lit up as he took in her appearance. "Nice rack Granger." He was completely unprepared for the foot that slammed into his face.
" You bitch!" He yelled clutching at his throbbing cheek.
" Shut up Malfoy!" She yelled back, desperately pulling on the blankets on which he lay.
" Oh no you don't." He said grabbing her hand and pulling her arm so that she was hoisted onto the bed.
" Malfoy let go of me!" She yelled thrashing around and he gave her arm another sharp tug and she was pressed up against his side.
" Be quiet you stupid bird!" He growled clamping a hand down on her mouth. Her eyes blazed in anger as he smirked down at her; again he was unprepared as she bit down on his hand. His teeth grit together as he resisted smacking her. 'She's a girl Draco, she's a girl.' He repeated to himself. ' Definitely a girl.' He thought, as he looked her body over.
" Can you behave or do I have to suffocate you?" He asked looking down at Hermione's angry face. Her eyes flashed dangerously but she nodded stiffly. " Good." He said releasing her mouth.
" Give me some blankets you asshole!" She said angrily tugging at the blankets that were firmly wrapped around his waist.
" I don't think-" He started to say before she smacked him upside the head. "Fine." He muttered unwrapping it a bit and giving her barely enough to cover her body.
" Bastard." She said and he jerked the blankets giving him a rather pleasant view of…well everything but sadly she pulled them back.
" Not bad, not bad at all." He said and this time he caught her hand before she hit him. " Be civil or I'll make this harder." He said.
" I thought that was my job." She muttered quickly glancing at his crotch, or that's what he liked to believe.
" Well it was last night." He said his voice slightly huskier; this had no affect on Hermione who just glared at him.
" There was no last night." She said and Draco raised an eyebrow.
" Really then why are you in my bed?" He asked and watched her blush.
" Um apparition mistake?" She supplied.
" And what were you doing apparting naked?" He asked grinning now as she got more flustered, she looked quite pretty like that.
" I…um….joined a nudist colony?" She said and he laughed loudly ignoring her pissed off expression.
" I would pay to see that." Draco said laughing again.
" Shut up Malfoy, this is all your fault!" That stopped his laughter quickly.
" My fault? How is this my fault?" He asked outraged.
" Really like I would cause this." She said motioning with her hands.
" I actually remember you seducing me." He said.
" Yeah like that would happen."
" You're right." He said.
" What does that mean?" Hermione asked angrily.
" Well, besides the fact that you cant seduce a cow, nothing." Draco said smirking.
" Oh I hate you!" She said loudly.
" You know what they say about angry sex." He said winking at her, watching as her face flushed.
" Ready for another round?" He asked his hand inching towards her leg.
" Get your hands the fuck away from me Malfoy!" She yelled.
" Calm down! You'd think sex would loosen you up a bit." He said looking at her slightly concerned. " I mean an orgasm does wonders for the body." He added.
" Strange I don't remember orgasming." She said her eyes twinkling as she smirked at him.
" Oh don't make me prove you wrong." He warned and was miffed when she only laughed.
" Don't make promises you cant keep." She teased.
" Oh I don't." He said pulling the blanket off, Hermione let out a squeak covering her eyes.
" God no! The image is already seared into my mind!" She said moving backwards slightly.
" I know I'm packing aren't I?" Draco said proudly.
" Oh that's you penis I thought it was a shriveled fig or something." Hermione said flushing slightly as she remembered the sight.
" What! Oh now you're in for it." He growled pouncing on her just as she leaned back causing both of them to tumble to the ground; he landed heavily on top of her.
" Oh shit Malfoy lay of the sweets will you." She said pushing at his chest.
" Only if you promise to shave your mustache." He added sweetly and she glared at him. " Oh okay I like you a little manly."
" Always knew you were gay. Let me ask how are Crabbe and Goyle. Do you go one at time or do they double team?" She spat out.
" O god the images Granger." He moaned and he saw her gag slightly.
" Sorry." She said trying to keep down the contents of her stomach.
" You should be I might have to obliviate myself now." He groaned collapsing on top of her.
" I'm going to die crushed beneath you, they'll find me here when you're too tired to move your fat ass and get off of me. I want lilies at the funeral, and no open casket I can't allow my friends to see my squished body, and make sure that I'm buried with-"
" Shut up, god do you ever stop talking."
" Wait a moment for the last bit of oxygen to be forcefully squeezed out of my lungs."
" I hope it's soon."
" I would hit you if your fat body wasn't pinning down all my limbs."
" I'm not fat."
" Yeah you're not underneath you."
" Well good thing because your quite comfy, right there." Draco said smirking slightly as his hand drifted.
" Stop feeling me up!" She yelled.
" Watch the ear drums I need those." He laughed.
" Well apparently you're already deaf or you'd be off me by now!" She said.
" I'm tired, god you're wild in the sack Granger." He said and was greeted by silence.
" Really?" She asked sounding quite interested.
" Mmhmmm." He said burying his face in her shoulder.
" If you fall asleep on me I will find a way to castrate you." She warned and Draco instantly supported himself on his arms.
" Okay, moving." He said sitting up but he remained straddling her, sitting on her hips lightly.
" Continue, I know it's a challenge for an over grown baby to stand but I believe in you." She said.
" You look good from this angle Granger." He said admiring her flushed cheeks, his eyes ran over her swollen lips.
" What my moustache not visible from there?" She asked her voice laced with sarcasm.
" I was kidding on that one." He said lightly reaching out and pushing her hair away from her face.
" What are you doing?" She asked sounding nervous.
" I don't know." He said his fingers leaving her face to trail over her shoulders and he watched her shudder. "Like that?" He whispered letting them skim down her arm to end at her hand.
" No." She said but she sounded distracted.
" Liar." He said smirking his eyes watching as his fingers traced the top of the blanket and he felt Granger stop breathing for a moment. He shifted his hips slightly and she gasped.
" Oh gods." She whispered her eyes fluttering shut.
" Like that?" He asked and she shook her head so he repeated the motion applying more weight and her mouth opened slightly her breathe coming in short pants. " Are you sure?" He asked and she shook her head again. He slid a hand down her side, grinning as he saw her shiver and he slid it around to her back pulling her against him and she moaned at the added pressure. " What about now?" He whispered.
" No." She gasped out and glared at her.
" You're so bloody stubborn!" He said angrily and her eyes flickered open. He was surprised when she grinned slyly at him.
" Yep." She practically purred.
" Minx." He growled before leaning down and covering her mouth with his.
A/N: This turned out differently than I planned it, freaking plot bunny. Any who, hope you liked it, I personally found it amusing to write but will probably be mortified when I go over it later, watching as no reviews come in and contemplating becoming a hermit…again. So you know help me stay out of depression by clicking that button and writing your review.