Disclaimer: I don't own Wonderwice, I wish I did…I don't own his brothers and sister(s?) either. Or Aizen…
Spoilers: MANGA CHAP. 230!
This should be looked upon as something that just popped out of my head and onto the screen. It sorta did. After reading the newest Bleach I had to…Wonderwice, you bird-whisperer you!
The Adventure of Wonderwice Malgela
Once upon a good old fan-made plot device world, lived a happy little Arrankal named Wonderwice. He was a cute little fellow with fluffy, light-colored hair. A broken part of a mask stuck to the top of his head like a circlet of some sort. He had tired light eyes and freckles that went along with them to create tired yet adorable school-boy look. His cute boy face was finished off with adorable buck teeth. Awww, how sweet…
Wonderwice lived happily with his brothers Brother Ulquy, Brother Yami, Brother Grimmy, and the others, too. Even Brother Lupi treated him like a younger brother. Brother Grimmy told him that there used to be many other brothers and sisters, but they were all dead or deceased. Foolish little Wonderwice had no idea that deceased meant dead, so he believed that deceased meant away from a while and not just a sarcastic comment from brother Grimmy.
One fine day, or as fine as a day in Hueco Mundo could be, Wonderwice decided to go visit his brother D-Roy's grave with Brother Ulquy and Brother Lupi. Brother Ulquy told him that D-Roy was a very foolish brother. He had been frozen then vaporized because he underestimated his opponent.
"What's an opponent?" Wonderwice asked in…well…wonder, as they carried dead flowers to through the dimly lit graveyard.
"That's trash you have to beat up and make dead," said Brother Ulquy, putting it so little Wonderwice could understand.
Wonderwice made an odd face, trying to think around the problem, "But Daddy Aizen said,"-as Wonderwice called their leader, Aizen Sousuke-"killing is bad."
Lupi rolled his eyes, "He only says that to Grimmjaw when he tries to kill you for being annoying. We're allowed to kill anyone that's not us, little Wonderwicey."
"Oh. Okay," said little Wonderwice before deciding to talk to a squirrel.
So after the little group put dead flowers on the pile of more dead flowers on D-Roy's grave, they went to have a picnic. They had it on a tiny hill in Hueco Mundo, because that's where they lived. The half-dead sun loomed uselessly above them. The hill had a slight amount of half-living grass growing here and there. Lupi spread out a cloth so they didn't get dirt on their white clothes. Brother Ulquy put a basket of food down saying something about this being trash. Wonderwice always…err…wondered why Brother Ulquy referred to almost everything as trash, so today he decided to ask.
"Why do you say everything's trash, Brother Ulquy?" asked the little Arrankal.
"Because everything is trash, Wonderwice," returned Brother Ulquy, who passed him a sandwich in order to shut up his younger brother, "Everything lower then us is trash, alright?"
"Ohh…okay," squeaked Wonderwice in…you know…wonder.
Wonderwice ate his sandwich as he walked around the sadly misshapen tree that they were sitting under. Brother Rupi watched him over a glass of iced tea. In this plot-device powered world, Arrankal ate food, too. It was so strange and nonsensical that Ulquy was busy trying to figure out how everything in the world could be this stupid.
Wonderwice met a Hollow bird. What is a Hollow bird, you ask? Hollow birds are Hollows of birds of course, silly. Of course I didn't just make them up now. Wonderwice had a special talent. He could talk to animals. He talked to the Hollow bird.
The bird shaped Hollow squawked loudly. It was also rather menacing with its very sharp claws and very sharp beak.
At that very moment the Hollow bird decided that it was in a bad mood. It swooped down from the sadly misshapen tree and decided to bite Wonderwice's head off. Oh noes!
But don't worry your young, naïve heads, children. Wonderwice will not die today. Brother Ulquy saw this coming a few moments ago and sprang into action. Of course, he sprang into action by walking leisurely over in the nick of time and slicing the Hollow bird in half. Wonderwice began to cry.
"Why'd you kill Mister Birdyton?" he asked, his tear streaked face looking straight at Brother Ulquy. It is at this moment that Wonderwice noticed that he was the same height as his older brother. It made him wonder, yes wonder, for a while how this could be. But it wasn't worth it. His head hurt already, anyways.
Brother Ulquy sighed a tired sigh, "It's because 'Mister Birdyton' was a piece of trash that was going to eat your head. If he ate your head, that's bad."
Wonderwice stopped crying. He never heard such wonderful wisdom,
Brother Ulquy began walking back to the picnic spot. Wonderwice skipped oh so happily after him. He loved visiting graves oh so much, since they always had picnics later. It was such a lovely day in Hueco Mundo. So lovely everything almost, just almost, felt like living again.
Awww…silly little Wonderwice…Review maybe!